Sharing your boudoir pictures, yes or no?

Boudoir photography is still not well known, and a lot of people don't even know why they would do a boudoir shoot to begin with. For some of those who took the decision to do it (welcome to this beautiful world 😀), the idea of sharing their pictures with other people makes them feel very uncomfortable.

We also have met people who wanted to do a shoot but decided not to because they thought they would have to share their pictures online.

Let's demystify together everything around privacy in the boudoir world.

The choice is yours!

You AND ONLY YOU can decide if you want to keep your pictures private or not.

Boudoir photography can makes you feel vulnerable so you don't need to feel pressured by the photographer, your loved ones, or anyone one else, to share your pictures with the rest of the world.

When you have chosen your photographer make sure to sign a contract or a release option that says you want your pictures to stay private.

Like we said, the choice is yours, so do not let that fear of privacy stoping you from having a boudoir shoot done.

 
non binary beautiful person wearing black strappy body suit with goblin ears and cape
 

Why most people refuse to post their pictures online?

Well, most of the time it comes back to the fear of being judged. We still give too much importance to what others think of us and we easily let their judgment dictates our actions.

Part of those judgment comes from:

  • Their Job:

    They are afraid to not be taken seriously if their coworkers were to see them in lingerie, especially women.

  • Old Beliefs:

    A lot of people still believe nudity is shameful. A lot of women feel the need to cover up because they were told that showing too much skin is not proper or will make them looks like “whores” (ugh we hate that so much 😡)

  • Social Media Haters:

    Words can be painful and some people are very sensitive to mean comments on social media. They are afraid to be harshly judged for their body, or even the act of posting pictures of them in lingerie.

There is also the fear of not knowing what their pictures will be used for, if the photographer were to share them. Once again, this can be specified in a contract between you and your photographer.

What we think as professionals and women

Even if we understand why privacy is really important for some people, we always suggest to not be afraid to post your pictures online. You will be surprised in a great way. Here is why:

  • Inspire Other People

Older woman looking at herself in mirror wearing only a thong and golden necklace

This is the first thing that will happen. If you post your boudoir pictures online (or any other experience you try that are a bit more “scandalous”) you will motivate people around you to do the same. We have so many past clients who came to us because their friends did a boudoir shoot. They were so proud to see the pictures and loved to hear the boudoir story that they wanted to do the same.

EACH OF OUR CLIENTS INSPIRED ANOTHER ONE, WE ARE IN A SENSE ALL CONNECTED BY THE LOVE OF BOUDOIR PHOTOGRAPHY. HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE SOMEONE'S MUSE?! 

  • Boost Of Confidence

Sharing your pictures on social media can seem superficial but it is actually a great way to boost your confidence. We usually forget that the way we see ourselves is different than the way others see us. It is not because you judge yourself badly than others do. Honestly the chances are you will get amazing feedback from your loved on those pictures (not that you need approval from people but it always feels good to get compliments on either the way we look or the fact we did a boudoir shoot).

And true fact, none of our Scandals ever got negative feedback.

There is also the fact that when you dare doing something you were afraid of (or that not a lot of people do) and you get compliments from it, your confidence grows.

It makes you feel powerful, free, and you just want to keep getting out of your comfort zone to achieve even more.

  • More Scandals For Our Portfolio

We love sharing our work with our community because this is how we inspire people to do a shoot for themselves. We need examples to showcase the beautiful people we took pictures of, and make people understand they don't need to be a certain age, body type, or gender to try boudoir photography.

To conclude: sharing or not your pictures is a personal decision. You can absolutely keep them 100% private, but if you decide to post them online do not feel ashamed, ever! Just do what makes you feel comfortable in the moment, you can always change your mind later 😘

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I edited my photos and I regret it

If you follow us on Instagram, you saw that Fanny and I shared some of our earliest work as photographers. What was meant to be an endearing, loving and funny post brought out an interesting realization for me: I am not able to tell on which photos I edited my body. And I deeply regret it.

The quick fix of photo editing

I started fiddling with editing softwares when I was about 15, back in 2007. At first, it was just to create little emo montages to put on my blog (yes I'm this old).

Then, I found some tutorials to alter reality and change proportions. And of course, my deeply insecure teenaged self didn't wait 2 minutes before applying it to my face and my body. Like many teenagers, my weight was the main source of my insecurities. So I went to town, shrinking my waist, my cheekbones, my legs and removing anything I thought was a flaw.

Did it make me feel better? For a split second, absolutely. I got the outside validation from my peers, I convinced myself it was better this way, which was enough for me. I was actually quite good at editing and nobody noticed. Plus, it was the early days, our eyes weren't used to spot this kind of editing.

What I didn't realize is that I was heavily feeding my insecurities.

 

2012 - No idea if I edited myself or not, deleted the original.

 

The danger of building an alternate you.

Slapping filters, changing your body: it is never just a one-off.

Once you start, it only gets worse. It is never enough. Think about it, you found an easy way to fix one "flaw", of course you are gonna find ways to fix another. And then you gonna dive in into parts of yourself you didn't have anything against, but it needs to match the rest of the edited you so… a vicious cycle begins.

I distinctly remember snapping a little auto-portrait when I was about 16 and editing everything so much that I ended up changing the size of my eyes. The. Size. Of. My. Eyes.

I remember looking at this and thinking "who the f*ck is this".

This was one of the first steps that rang a bell to me and said “Jules, you went too far". I never published this photo and I wasn't able to find it, chances are I deleted a few years ago because of that reason.

You would think that this would have led my path to self-acceptance, that I stopped editing and unicorns started dancing around me. HA!

Nope. I just transferred this virtual version of me to my real life.

 

2011 - Edited my waist - Beautiful proof of my body-dysmorphia as I found myself fat.

 

I wanted to be this virtual version I created in real life.

I got that editing was bad for me but not for the right reasons. I twisted this to "I can't edit myself anymore because it makes me feel bad, so I'm gonna change my body in real life". This was the peak of my body-dysmorphia journey and it lasted way until my mid-2os.

I was just "too fat", all the time. Losing weight didn't make a difference, i didn't see it.

It started impacting my every day life, making me not eat before taking photos, not letting people take pictures of me, controlling everything as much as I could, something that I still do to this day when I'm feeling unsafe. I am extremely lucky that I didn't develop obsessive eating disorders, I honestly have no idea how I dodged it with this way of thinking.

Walking away from this required a lot of different seeds to stop acting like an idiot.

 

Many of those amazing women we get to work with on the daily.

 

1) Letting others show me.

We are in 2011. I am photographing more and more women I find absolutely stunning while they don't technically check the beauty standard boxes blasted in front of us. They're confident, they're open about their insecurities and they don't let them dictate their lives. I see them shine during my shoots and I'm impressed.

they planted the first seeds in my brain that I could actually accept myself the way I was too.

Then I meet other women just as beautiful but not as confident and it blows my mind. I find myself believing in and encouraging THEM to shine. And I must be doing something right because it works and they believe me. Even more so, a fire starts within them and I'm loving it.

And one day, it clicks: if I see their beauty at first glance and they don't, is there a chance I'm doing the same for me? Just like that, I planted the next seed: the one that shows the lack of accuracy of negative self-talk and that I shouldn't let it take over.

2) Starting aerial silks and changing my perspective.

By this time, we are in 2013, I'm 21. I haven't edited my body in years, but instead, I simply hide it in every way I can. Out of sight, out of mind. But I'm about to plant another seed for myself without knowing: I start aerial silks.

What's the point, you may wonder?
It made me see that my body is a strong ass one, more than just an appearance.

It starts changing too, it gets fitter, things I didn't know was an option. I don't see it as much as a flawed thing anymore, it impresses me. I knew that I had to capture that in case it faded away, so I can have a keepsake. So I did. I still have this photo in my apartment and look at it often.

 
 

3) Opening Scandaleuse and stopping the hypocrisy.

I'm 25 now, I'm just starting to embrace myself the way I should. Fanny and I are brainstorming ideas about Scandaleuse. We both have this deep passion around highlighting women's beauty, especially when they don't see it.

Boudoir is the way we chose but it is still much easier to do it for others than myself. So before we even opened anything, something pushed me out of my comfort zone and I asked Fanny to shoot my first ever boudoir shoot to know what it would feel like.

Of course, I fell RIGHT BACK into my old habits: I asked to shoot at 7am to make sure I wasn't bloated, before I had eaten anything. I had a very hard time to let go and I even edited some photos (“it was just some unflattering shadows” (no it wasn't))

 

Photo from this shoot. Pretty sure I edited my stomach here.

 

Not only did it make me feel like absolute garbage to do this but this was also the first time Fanny told me I was wrong, in calm, almost sad, way.

You see, I had never anybody who actually told me that. I have had people dismissing my concerns with the flicker of a hand many times, but no one actually sat me down and tried to tell me that I might see myself in the wrong light, especially someone I deeply trusted. Fanny planted one of the biggest seeds I needed and I don't think she knows it. I'm so glad she did.

I realized I couldn't open a business about self-acceptance and kicking beauty standards in the balls if I wasn't willing to do it myself.

And if there is one thing that I can't accept, it is being a hypocrite.

It was even more important than my insecurities, it just wasn't an option. From this moment, I decided it was time to change. I never edited myself again after this.

So, is it healed?

Mostly, yes. But I don't believe it will ever go away fully. I still have moments when old habits come back and I'm tempted to edit something or cancel a shoot because I feel fat. But I force myself not to. I force myself to look at it all because going backwards would make me the biggest hypocrite, and like I said, this isn't an option.

And you know what? The “flaws” I see one day are rarely here the next. Because that's how it works with insecurities: they depend on many other factors that have nothing to do with your body. Understanding this as helped me DETACH from it all. I'm not feeling my best? It's okay, it will be back.

There you have it. This is probably the blog post that took me the most energy. Writing this all is leaving me with a deep sense of appreciation. I've come a long way and will need constant reminders, but it's okay. If you are on the same boat, I hope reading my story will help. And of course, if you feel like you're ready to get the ultimate kick in the butt with a boudoir shoot, we are here for you!

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More blog posts on the topic

Dealing with Body Insecurities

The mind is powerful. It is capable of making you believe you see things a certain way and turn it into a fact. That's why, sometimes, you can feel some sort of weight on your heart just thinking about something you don't like about yourself. Maybe it developed over time or maybe your "friend" Jessica made one comment out of spite when you were in grade 5 and it just stuck with you until your thirties. 

All of these can make you see yourself and your body in a way that could be quite far from reality or could just affect the way you live your life. And in the end, it doesn't really matter how they got there. What matters is how you deal with them.

 
 

Here are 6 tips to help you say bye bye to your insecurities and start giving your body and mind some lovin'! 

1) Understand that the vision of your body is rarely accurate.

Many many MANY outside factors can affect the way you see your body. Stress, hormones, change in your routine, or diet, lack of sleep… All of these and many more can give you a heavily distorted vision of your appearance. The best favour you can do yourself is to remind yourself of this when you have having a shitty body day.

Body-dysmorphia is also extremely common among us. Go check out our blog post about it if you want to learn more.

2) Avoid comparing yourself to others. 

Comparing yourself to someone else is as easy as it is toxic, whether it is on a physical or a mental level. It's also very hard to stop once you get started.

So, if you catch yourself falling into this rabbit hole, remember that you do not know what is going on in someone's life, just like they don't know about yours, making it impossible to compare anything fairly.  So what's the point of even going down that road? All it is going to do is create pressure, unachievable goals and potential jealousy. And you don't have time for this, you have great things to do!

Put down your phone, stop creeping on people you barely know & learn to become your own measurement system. Base your growth on what YOU and only you can do.

You are the only person you have to be proud of and it is much easier to do when you don't have the noise coming from the outside world. 

3) If you can't give your body some love, focus on giving it appreciation. 

All of this beautiful talk about loving your body the way it is sounds amazing, but some days, you just can't. And it is okay. It happens to everyone, nobody can love themselves all the time. But instead of talking trash about yourself, focus on bringing some appreciation for what you body does for you, aside from its appearance.

For example, I used to spend so much time deprecating my arms. I found them too big, not feminine. And sometimes I still do. Except that now, when I catch myself spiralling again, I remind myself of what my arms allow me to do. Maybe I have bigger arms that what is considered "aesthetically pleasing" for women, even though this is a BS society standard that has no legs to stand on. But thanks to my "big” arms, I can carry my weight in the air like a circus ninja and around a pole and I wouldn't change this for the world.

This recipe works for absolutely everything. Every negative side comes with a positive one. You have the option to decide how to look at it.

I don't know about you, but focusing on the down side is a complete waste of time, counter productive, and is definitely not the way to build your happiness.

4) Learn to accept compliments

Ha, that's something we definitely noticed, especially with women. It is considered SO not humble to accept a compliment that you HAVE to counter it with something negative to balance it out. Does that ring a bell?

What if you just said "thank you” and appreciated the compliment instead? Oh, it will feel weird at first, but only because you are conditioned to go against it. Like above, practice makes perfect and no, it doesn't make you a superficial b*tch.

Also, Some studies have shown that it takes 5 positive comments to remove the impact of 1 negative one. What if we just opened our damn ears to the good ones?

Chances are, if you are surrounded by caring people, they have shown their love and honesty towards you. They may have even tried to convince you that your insecurity was untrue. Why not believe them?

5) Stop covering up

This one is more related to physical appearance. Instead of avoiding your body insecurities, challenge yourself by facing them. Don't try to hide them, it won't help.

You have to figure out a way to highlight them, to bring a new light and perspective so you can make peace with them.

For example: stopping yourself from wearing an outfit you really like is not the way to deal, quite the opposite. Don't let these insecurities win!

It doesn't have to be big challenges, you can start small! A random example would be, if you'd like to decrease the amount of makeup you use, you can start by staying makeup free at home before taking it outside. Or even, lighten your makeup one day at a time…

It doesn't matter how big the step is, what matters is that you take it.

 
 

6) Explore your sensuality.

Learning to embrace your sensuality is a way to start feeling in harmony with your body to find peace and confidence. And if you are thinking you are as sensual as a kitchen pot then you definitely need to keep reading: we ALL have the potential to be sensual. Period. Which means you too, you just need a little more practice!

Your body needs to move and be acknowledged. Use that energy, that fire you have within you: dance, hug yourself, wear clothes that make you feel sexy, try new makeup or hairstyle…. Check out our blog post about sensuality for extra info!

Body love and appreciation is hard, just like creating any positive habits. But you are just as capable as your next door neighbour to do this. Is it a little finicky at first? Yes. Will you feel a bit silly to begin? Yes. But is it worth it? Damn right. You should be your own best-friend, after all, you are here for the long-run with yourself, right?!

Treat yourself with kindness, you are pretty awesome.

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Warm, industrial, and cosy lofts

OUR LOFTS PART 2:

Alright, today let’s dive in the topic of finding the perfect location for your shoot!

As mentioned in the first episode, the decors in the studio where you will do your boudoir shoot is very important to match the vibe you wanna give to your pictures. Most photographers already have their own studio so you will not really have a choice in the aesthetic of the location.

But other photographers like us rent different places around the city to keep their creativity up and not give their clients the same pictures as anyone else.

 
Woman wearing a blazer and short, in a cosy and industrial loft in Toronto during a boudoir shoot
 

Homy atmosphere? Yes please!

Those New York style lofts are our favourites because they usually mix bricks and beams, have beautiful vintage decors, tons of plants, and for some reasons the sofas are absolutely stylish, large, and comfy 😍

Since they are industrial, they always have those huge windows that bring up so much natural light in the space and creates contrasty lighting when the sun is out.

People who live in those lofts can be artsy peeps so most of the time you can find gorgeous pieces hanging on the walls.

Who are those type of lofts for?

If you like neutral and minimalist pictures, stay away from industrial atmosphere. Those locations are definitively better for the warm tons and busy background lovers.

Since there is a lot going on decor wize in those lofts, your outfits (or even your beautiful-self) will pop up less than in a more neutral space. In our opinion it is never a problem because we use the space to match perfectly each set and create unique photographs that look stunning as a whole.

It is like you are part of the painting 🎨

And if you enjoy everything that is vintage and pin up style, you will for sure love those type of spaces!

What if I am more like a blank canvas?

If you don’t really have ideas of the vibe you want your boudoir shoot to have, or like any type of decors, then follow your photographer’s guidance and trust the process. At the end of the day the main focus should be YOU 😘

Feeling more like the adventurer type? What about trying an outdoor boudoir shoot! Those are next level and you can take it in nature or in the city!

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Pure, simple, & minimalist lofts

Our lofts part 1:

Today, let’s talk about minimalist lofts and why they can be a beautiful option when it comes to boudoir!

We love scouting new lofts in the city for our sessions and seeing stars in the eyes of our clients when they see where we are making their shoot happens. When we opened Scandaleuse Photography 5 years ago, we took the decision to rent multiple studios rather than the same one so we can have more creative freedom and give our clients pictures that truly reflect their style.

 
Scandaleuse Photography-toronto-boudoir-photographer-etobicoke-ontario-canada-sensuality-woman-women-sexy-minimalist-scandinavian-loft-boudoir shoot
 

Why is the decors important in boudoir photography?

The location is part of the artistic approach and will impact a lot the lighting, the poses, and the general vibe. When we take picture of you, we make sure your surrounding will highlight your beautiful-self and the atmosphere you want to have to each shot.

Let say for example you are someone who wants a Femme Fatale look and love moody pictures, having your photos taken in a loft that has an airy boho vibe with touch a girly colours will absolutely not match what you are looking for.

When you chose your photographer, make sure they can follow your ideas and adapt the decors to the general atmosphere you have in mind.

Alright, let’s dive into the Scandinavian vibe!

The most amazing thing about decors that have simple furniture and white tons is the neutrality they offer. They are perfect for everyone, either you are looking to highlight your femininity, masculinity, or a mix of both.

Since the walls are usually minimalist with no patterns or vibrant colours, every outfits pop up very nicely and allow the model (AKA you) to really be the focus of the picture.

Empty white walls are also really nice to create a more “fashion magazine” vibe and make you do poses that are artistic and less traditional.

Those type of lofts are for people who love simplicity and modernity.

For a lot of people, photographers included, boudoir is all about a romantic vibe, posing on a bed, wearing lace lingerie with garter belt. Don’t get us wrong, this type of classic boudoir is very pretty, but in our opinion you can have so much fun for your shoot and be very creative, while staying away from looking traditional (unless this is what you are looking for, which is of course absolutely fine). So don’t hesitate to think outside the box for your session.

Something that is really nice to do when you are thinking of doing a boudoir shoot is to create a Pinterest board and save ideas you can find there (anything from the lighting, poses, outfits,…). It is a lot of fun to do and it will help you to find inspiration to create something cool for yourself!

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4 simple ways to be yourself

“You just have to be yourself and everything will be ok!” they say, but what the heck does it mean?

This is the big question we asked some of the people from our community and we have to say, we got fantastic answers:

boudoir photographer- toronto-scandaleuse photography-boudoir photography-toronto blog-blogger-woman-curve-mindset

- “Don’t care about what other people think of you and what you do. Only you can decide what you want to be.”

- “Being happy with who you are.”

- “Being comfortable with every aspect of yourself (physical, emotional, mental).”

- “Owning everything, little thing that makes you YOU by doing it unapologetically.”

Be UNAPOLOGETICALLY you, we got a pretty amazing definition here! But how do you reach to this state of self-acceptance?

1 - Understand your qualities and flaws

You need to figure out who you are in order to be yourself… Yeah we know it sounds obvious but think about it for a minute:

What makes you, YOU? Who are you as a person and with others?

We all are a combination of "good and bad” traits that mostly defines our personality: Are you funny? Selfish? Kind?… With your own terms, what are your characteristics?

Listing your qualities and flaws is a good way to understand how you function, evaluate yourself and manage your emotions, so you can change the way you react to them when they are triggered by an event or a person. Once you understood and welcomed those parts of you, it gets easier to align your behaviour with your values, without letting other people's opinions impacted it.

Little side note: remember that qualities and flaws, like art, are an abstract concept. They are defined by how people see you, what they think is proper or not, and the life situations you are in. Some people might be annoyed by some of your qualities, where others might appreciate your flaws. For example your kindness could trigger people who are not used to receive love or help, they might get frightened and not trust your good intentions.

Never make yourself smaller because someone is telling you you are too loud, too proud, too ambitious…

2 - Focus on your growth

It is really easy to desire someone else’s life, especially with social media. Since it is unusual for people to share their struggles, we imagine they got it all figure it out. Your neighbour’s grass is always greener than yours right?!

We, humans, have the tendency to romanticize everything. We want this couple relationship, this person happiness. We wish to have their skills, their job, their personality, their freedom, and beauty. Because on paper everything look shinny, their life is perfect, they have it so easy… But that is not the reality! We ALL go through tough times. It is important to remember that!

So instead of wishing to be someone else, express your uniqueness:

  1. Stop comparing yourself to others, you have your own strengths and weaknesses;

  2. Improve what you are good at and have the desire to learn to open your mind up to new things;

  3. If people around you are not happy with your lifestyle then it’s on them. Their opinion should not impact your life.

    Focus on what makes YOU happy.

 
boudoir photographer- toronto-scandaleuse photography-boudoir photography-toronto blog-blogger-woman-curve-mindset
 

3 - Accept to change

A lot of people lose themselves because they are too afraid to change their life to go after what they want. They end up feeling frustrated, angry, and sad. But it is part of life, we all changed! You are not the same person as you were 5 years ago, and the future you will also be different than who you are now.

Both Juliette and I want to make big changes in our personal life. We both have that urge to buy our own property closer to nature. And it is scary AF, it means getting rid of big money blocs. But we know that if we don’t work towards this “calling”, we will regret it.

Being true to ourselves is also about letting go of things that are no longer working for us (can be people, work, own beliefs,…) to make room to a more fulfilling life.

4 - Let your inner child run wild

Did you notice how free young kids are? They are their true essence because they haven't been conditioned to follow society's rules yet. They live in the moment and don't care about people's opinion. Isn't it something you wish you could have back sometimes? That innocence, that freedom?

As adults we can be pretty uptight, feeling we have to be serious most of the time because we have “responsibilities”. Feeling judge by others if we dare being a bit different. So we put the fun on the side and focus on our struggles and drama.

But what if instead we allow ourselves to be silly and enjoy the moment? Go jump on a trampoline, cartwheel in the grass, make silly faces at your reflection, dance in the rain… whatever makes you feel like a kid again!

Put the mask down and allow yourself to be the natural you!

 
 

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Once upon a time, Boudoir Photography...

Boudoir is the story of our life, Scandaleuse is our baby. Most of you have been following us for 5 years now. You’ve shared our successes and struggles, you've seen all of the beautiful Scandals who posed in front of our lenses, bref… you are part of this community! And if you are new here, welcome :)

But do you know how Boudoir was born and how scandalous & naughty it was?

No? Then follow us in our world…

 
blog-blogger-toronto blog-boudoir photographer- toronto-scandaleuse photography-boudoir photography-toronto blog-blogger-woman
 

Boudoir: The Origins (like superheroes!)

A Boudoir was a woman's private sitting room or salon in a furnished accommodation, in aristocratic families. It was a sign of femininity and social conformity as a woman.

Nobody will be surprised to read that the term derives from the French verb "Bouder" which means "to sulk". Long story short, it was a room dedicated for sulking in.  (allez la France, la révolution, et la baguette)

Thanks to the Marquis De Sade and his book “Philosophy in the Bedroom”, the Boudoirs turned into sulphurous and scandalous rooms, where women could speak privately. It was characterized in literary and cultural studies as erotic and as a metaphor of  womens' bodies.  Boudoir was generally understood as a site for secret pleasures and libertinage. A room where women could bring their lovers… Naughty you!!!

Side Note:  Boudoir is also a biscuit you eat with Champagne. Shhh, that’s how we like it...

BOUDOIR PHOTOGRAPHY : The early days

Over the years, Boudoir became a photography style and started celebrating the beauty, femininity and freedom of women. It has been featuring intimate, sensual, and sometimes erotic images of its subjects.

 
evolution-boudoir-toronto-photography-scandaleuse
 

The nude or sexualized female form has been a theme of photography since as early as 1840 but it was in the 1920s that Boudoir photography began to take shape as an art form. Photographers, like Albert Arthur Allen, took images of women who posed in romantic ways against ornate backdrops or furniture.

But Boudoir photography was illegal in the 1920s (woman nudity was offensive and considered pornographic - What about now in 2022, mentalities did not change that much 😡) and photographers were often arrested or heavily fined for taking the photos.

But this didn't stop anyone

1930s and ‘40s, at the beginning of World War II the US government started using pin-up girls on their recruiting posters as propaganda to encourage young men to fight for the country. The military knew that sex sells and was using slogans like “She’s worth fighting for” or “Come home to your girl a hero” to encourage those men to go to war.

This move made the pin-up style one of the most famous form of boudoir which paved the way for modern boudoir by normalizing the female form in advertising.

1950s, the “pinup girls” became very famous in the Boudoir world. They wore nylons, stilettos and elegant elbow-length gloves. These girls even played with androgyny, wearing bow-ties and top hats along with their corsets and stockings.

By the 1970s, the female figure began being recognized as a significant form of sexual liberation and a new revolution in Boudoir. 

Unfortunately, much of society still had a difficult time acknowledging Boudoir as a tasteful genre, even if these photos were artistic and no way considered pornographic amongst the art world.

In the next few decades, Boudoir photography became very popular and broke free of women’s boundaries.

Now it is a symbol of freedom for women but also men and non-binary people. It's all about owning your body… the art of accepting and loving yourself!

 
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More amazing content and cool blogs this way ⬇️

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I don't orgasm often, and that's ok!

Friends, today we are getting very intimate… If you are following us on social media you saw Juliette and I naked or in lingerie many times, but today’s blog really makes me feel vulnerable.

I never thought I would ever write about that, but here I am… and geez this is scary! I think this is the only thing in my life I have a lot of shame about.

Beside this feeling of shame, there is also the fact that it makes me feel like a joke. I claim being this open-minded, sexual ,and sensual being but yet I have a hard time reaching to what is considered as the Holy Grail of sexuality.

I was lucky to grow up with my mom with whom I could talk about everything. But the Orgasm topic is a tough one, mostly because I grew up feeling like if you don’t orgasm easily you are broken. Even though I surrounded myself with loving people, I never talk about it with them. The only person who knows is Juliette, and recently a couple of other people from our community.

Their support is what’s pushing me to be vulnerable and share about it today. I am hoping my story will help other women (adults and teenagers included) feeling less alone, more at peace with the female orgasm, and the fact it is ok to not orgasm or less often than you are “supposed” to.

 
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DISCLAIMER: I am not specialized in sexuality and I am not a doctor. Everything I am sharing with you here is just based on my own experience. If you are seeking physical or mental health advice please reach out to a specialist.

The female orgasms and the pressure around it

As the title mentioned I don't orgasm often. Well actually let me be more specific: I rarely orgasm when I have sex with men. When I am pleasuring myself it is not an issue because I know my body and what turns me on. But when I am with someone I get too much in my head and it rarely happens (to give you an idea what rarely means to me: I can count on one hand the number of orgasms I had with partners since I started to have sex).

I was 17 when I had sex for the first time, I am now 32. At that time the topic of orgasm was still taboo and subject to a lot of jokes. I have heard so many comments from people around me (or in the movies) like this one below:

“I pity women who cannot orgasm, it must be so awful! I hope it will never happen to me!”

Those jokes, awful discussions, and BS around the female pleasure are extremely shameful and put a lot of pressure on our shoulders (women are already dealing with so many shit, it is something more we don’t need!).

Growing up, my references (which were probably the same for you) for the woman’s pleasure were coming from:

  • Magazines:

    I remember all of those articles on how to come faster, how to please your man, what to wear to be more sexy, what to do and not do during sex… All of those were just about appearance and performance, full of misinformation.

  • Romantic movies (or adult ones):

    You know those intimate scenes where the characters are having sex and the woman comes in only a few seconds (she got her elbow touched and boom, orgasm!) Also, don't get me started on the lack of foreplay 😡.

So in my teenager/young adult mind, I believed orgasms had to happen during each intercourse and had to come fast. But this was never the case for me and I did not understand why. Talking about it to anyone was difficult as I was afraid to be laughed at, and judged.

Pride had also a huge part in my silence. I did not want to “admit something was wrong” with me since I was feeling like I had to “fix this broken part of me”. Showing vulnerability is something quite recent in the self-development journey. We grow up believing we have to be strong all the time and never show any signs of weakness.

I now understand and know that not orgasming like society tells you to doesn’t mean you are broken, but at that time I did not know better so I learnt to adapt: AKA I started to fake my orgasms (I can imagine a lot of you raising your eyebrows, thinking how wrong that is, and you are probably right. Faking doesn’t solve anything but sometimes it is the only solution you find to get a little bit of peace of mind).

Everyone is different.

As I already mentioned, I am a sexual person: talking about sexuality was never an issue, I starting to touch and discover my body from a very young age (I was under five if I remember correctly). I always considered sexuality as something natural because it is the education I received from my mom (which I am really grateful for).

It is important for me to share that information with you to put everything back into perspective. It is easy to believe that if a woman doesn't orgasm it is because she doesn't know her body well or she doesn't enjoy sex. Of course it can be, but it is not always the case. It can be physical, it can be mental, it can be both. It really depends of each individuals, and their story, past, trauma, mental blocks, education, religion, community, health…

 

If you don’t already watch Layla Martin’s video, I highly suggest you do it. Her videos are always really helpful to me!

 

Partners and communication.

I feel very self-conscious right now to write this part because I have some of my exes following Scandaleuse and probably reading our blogs. But I cannot let out what I am about to say as it is an important part of my story and I know a lot of women will relate.

I have had around 25 partners, some were long term relationship, others were one-night stands or short terms. And I faked with all of them, I am not proud of that fact but it is the truth.

So you might wonder, did they ever noticed. Maybe some of them did, but most of them did not. And the reason is simple: I have always been good at finding stratagems to avoid talking about this lack of orgasms. Such as faking, or knowing how to make them come faster so I did not have to come at all (because most men believe that once they are done, it means you are too so they don’t even bother taking care of you).

And if you are thinking: “Fanny, it would have been healthier to simply communicate with them rather than avoiding that conversation!”. Well, every time I open up the topic with some of my partners, they took it personally, they thought that with them it would be different (men are proud creatures!). They never fully listened or tried to understand, and they ended putting more pressure on me. So most of the time I got very discouraged and I kinda gave up (which is not a solution either).

On top of that my relationship with men has always been complicated. I never fully trusted my partners, so expressing your feelings and setting boundaries up when you don’t feel comfortable with someone makes the process of communication really difficult.

Sexuality is much more than achieving orgasms

Women, are emotional beings. Our mind and body are deeply connected, so if we don't feel safe, if we are anxious, or any other reasons to not feel good in the moment, our bodies will not react positively during sex, and it gets really difficult to let go. Which can create for example lack of orgasm or pain.

Women also store most of their past trauma in their womb area which can make sexuality (especially penetrative sex) quite emotional and difficult.

Sexuality should be an act of pure pleasure and not a race for the best performance. Yes, orgasms feel amazing but we should not pressure ourselves to always achieve the grand finale (all gender included!).

Not having an orgasm doesn’t mean it wasn’t pleasurable! I wish my partners were able to understand that, instead of feeling frustrated because they did not make me come. It is something so deeply rooted in our beliefs that even a honest conversion with them did not make a difference. They simply refused to believe I had still a great time despite not having an orgasm.

Pleasure, consent, respect, and communication should be taught at school

Some people are really good at communicating to their partner how they like to be touched, or how to say NO. For other peeps it is more tricky.

I wished my sex education at school was deeper than using protection and fearing STDs. I wished they had taught us about other things that are as important like body discovery, pleasure, consent, respect, and communication. But because so many part of the sexuality are hidden from kids and teens, they use porn as their main reference (we did too), and porn is not the reality.

A better sex education would have been be game changer for many adults, it would have cut off so much shame around this subject.

Writing about this was much needed!

I haven’t published this blog yet and still feel nervous about it. The main reason why I waited so long before sharing this part of me with anyone is because I was afraid it will become a label. That people will stop seeing me as “Fanny who has a big heart and cares about the environment” and instead see me as “Fanny who cannot orgasm.” But someone told me:

“Well there is a higher chance they will see you as The Woman Who Dares To Talk About iI!”.

How powerful is that? 🤯.

I am not really giving you any solution here, because I am still searching what could work for me (but I already have an action plan - that is the business woman talking inside me). I am just hoping that if you relate to this blog it will help you in anyway possible.

By the way, here is what my action plan is if it can inspire you:

  • Opening my sexuality up to other genders: I always considered myself as pansexual and always thought I am interested by people rather than what they have between their legs, I just never had the opportunity to experience with another gender than cis male.

  • Choosing my partners better: I know what I want in my relationships so I have been “filtering” my potential lovers for a little while now. Even if it means being single for longer than usual.

  • Listening to my guts: We have a very strong and natural instinct that we unfortunately don’t listen to. So many times I had a little voice in my head and heart telling me to be careful because there was something weird with a person, or the situation was not right, and I chose to not listen and obviously got burnt. Well not anymore, now I am listening to my guts: if I don’t trust, I don’t go for it.

  • Learning to communicate better about my sexual needs: this one is hard for me, I never knew how to explain what I like or not to my partners, and I have forced myself so many times because I didn’t dare to say no or change the dynamic.

I really hope this blog will be helpful. You are not alone! Do not feel ashamed anymore or scared to talk about it with people you trust and love.

I am more than happy to talk about it publicly or privately for people who wanna have the conversation. You can reach out by email or social media 💛

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5 years later and we are still rocking!

“Shhh, not too loud!”

“You should not dress up that way!”

“You are just being dramatic!”

“You will never make it happen”

“Don’t be so bossy!”

if you were born as a woman you probably heard those sentences (among so many other ones) from a very young age and still nowadays. Women are often seen as fragile and delicate beings who are not supposed to make too much noise or take too much space. Even if it is getting a tad better, those clichés are still sticking to our skin putting a lot of unnecessary pressure on our shoulders and making our hearts heavy.

Well, one of the reasons we opened Scandaleuse Photography 5 years ago was to kick this BS in the butt and show society women deserve to be strong, badass, sensual, sexy, and successful, or any other way they want to be WITHOUT BEING JUDGED FOR IT 💪

5 years later we are still here, still fighting for our values, and ready to keep lifting our Scandals up as long as we can!

To celebrate our business anniversary we gathered footage from our past shoots, projects, and events, to created this short video that recaps our Scandaleuse journey:

And if you want more reading, here are some of our blogs we wrote about some of the events you saw in the video:

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5 hilarious sentences we say as boudoir photographers

We keep repeating it but we love being boudoir photographers! We meet freaking strong and badass people with different stories, it gives us the motivation to push ourselves and shoots are always a lot of fun. On top of that, boudoir gives us the opportunity to use our sense of humour to say unique sentences.

So for you and in exclusivity, here is the top 5 of the most unexpected sentences we have been saying since we opened Scandaleuse:

 
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“Let's get naked”

Even if doing a boudoir shoot doesn't mean you have to go for full nudity, the goal of this type of photography is to show some skin (I mean everyone needs a picture of them fully naked, framed in their living room right?!). It can be intimidating at first to strip down in front of two strangers (AKA us… Hi!), especially if it is your first shoot.

But you will see that being brave enough to show some vulnerability will make your self-confidence skyrocks and you will leave your shoot feeling like you can conquer the world!

We all need a little push in life and we would not be professional photographers if we were not telling you when it is time to take your clothes off!

 
 

“Boobs up, shoulders down"

In photography, different criteria make a picture beautiful: the subject, the lighting, the environment around, the techniques and the story telling. But in boudoir, the subject is the most important because this type of photography highlight the beauty of the body. So we need to make sure we teach our clients the proper posture: the poses we make them do have to follow their personality and also their shape.

But if some poses are better on certain type of bodies and not others, there are some general guidance that works on everyone, such as:

  • Bringing your chin up: nobody likes showing their double chin (that we all have by the way depending on how we place our head!) and it gets even worst when we get stuck with it because our chin was too low when the picture was taken. So next time you worry about this, don't hesitate to bring your chin a tad higher, but not too much, to not have this problem anymore.

  • Straightening your back: round back and shoulders too forward… our era's problem! By looking a lot at our phones or computers (but also because we are totally ignoring the importance of a great posture), we end up destroying our backs. When you pose during a boudoir shoot (or any other portrait photography), having a round back is not flattering and does not show confidence. To fix this, all you have to do is straightening your back to make yourself taller. You will see that the picture will show a total different attitude and vibe.

  • Bringing your boobies up and shoulders down: When we are nervous, shy, or not sure of what we are doing, our shoulders automatically go up toward our ears, which creates a lot of tension in the neck and back area. It makes breathing more difficult which can create anxiety. But if you open up your chest to the ceiling and bring your shoulders down, you will feel more relax.

  • Pointing your toes: “frog feet” can really mess up a picture. Thinking of pointing your toes will make your legs look much longer and will add a delicate touch to the photograph.

“Touch yourself”

A boudoir shoot is the perfect opportunity to reconnect with your femininity and sensuality. But in order to do so, you cannot be afraid of your body. So we like to tell our clients to not hesitate to touch themselves. Not in a sexual way of course, but to not end up with “robot arms”. While posing, it is really important to know where to put your hands:

“Put your hands on your boobies” = beautiful and romantic topless pose for those we don't wanna show nipples.

“Cup your butt cheeks out” = perfect to make a booty a tad bigger while sitting and to give the illusion of a stronger back's arch.

And touch yourself because it feels so good give ourselves a nice hug from time to time ;)

 
 

“Give yourself a good wedgie!”

This one hurt a little, doesn’t it?!

We all have experienced one way or another at least once in our life wedgies (we can for sure say it is not pleasant at all!). Either someone pulled up your underwear has a kid, or you are used to them because you wear thong under tight pans (don’t get me starting on the awful frontal wedgie 😅). So why on earth would we ask our clients to give themselves a wedgie?

Well the answer is simple: pulling your underwear higher on your hips and butt when you pose for a boudoir shoot makes your legs looks longer, and your hips sensual AF! If you are sceptical about what you just read then stop reading, go in front of your mirror and give it a try. The result is mind blowing 🔥.

See, we told you so… after all we are the experts ;)

“It Smells like dick”

We receive quite a lot of inquiries from men who are looking to do a boudoir shoot (usually via phone calls, it seems like those gentlemen do not want any written proof). Most of the time they want to do more than boudoir, they want erotic or pornographic shoots and often expect us to be part of their fantasy (did we have to create a page with all the things WE DO NOT DO? Yes absolutely!). It usually start the same way:

  • we receive a call from a man looking to get more info about our shoots.

  • we tell that person we do not offer erotic photography. The person seems to understand and is, of course, never looking to do explicit sexual acts.

  • we ask for his email and sent the info (including the page that describes in details our photographic limits). We also make sure one more time he understands we don't do porn: “Of course, I respect your limits ladies, it is absolutely not my intention to do more than boudoir!"

  • So we ask more questions about the project, schedule a Zoom meeting to see the person and get acquainted.

This is usually when they reveal their true intention… Every time we can tell that they are not being honest (we like to say we can smell the dick from a distance hahaha). And we are right 98% (we had a few inquiries from amazing men who were actually looking to do artistic shoots for themselves)! Every time we dig deeper we find out they want us to be part of their sexual scenarios or we get the usual:

“Ok you don't want to take pictures of sexual acts, but what about a little bit of sex?”

We call those inquiries: “Just The Tip Please”.

 
 

Boudoir photography should always be a badass and empowering experience for anyone who is trying it. And the best way to get there, is to not take it too seriously to be able to relax and have fun. This is why we like to add a touch of humour during our sessions or even when we work just the two of us (our specialty? Dad jokes and ridiculous dance moves!).

Side note, we are super proud of this blog and we think we are funny ladies 😂

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What to do if you are victim of domestic abuse

Disclaimer: This blog is part of our Unstoppable project and gather all the information we could find from different sources about domestic abuse. We are not expert in this field, if you are seeking help make sure to contact the appropriate service provider: here is a list to find help across Canada.

 
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Last month we shared with you the steps you can take to help someone who is, or could be, victim or domestic abuse. In today’s blog we will be talking about what you can do if you are the victime. Please don’t hesitate to share this blog with people who might need it.

To prevent and end domestic violence it is important to acknowledge and understand that victims never deserve, nor should be blamed for, the abuse they endure. Abusers are skilled at using power and control over their victims.

What is domestic abuse?

Domestic abuse, also known as “domestic violence” or “intimate partner violence”, is a pattern of behaviours used by one person to gain power and control over another person with whom they have or previously had an intimate relationship (people who are married, living together, or dating).

IT CAN IMPACT ANYONE, REGARDLESS OF GENDER, AGE, SEXUAL ORIENTATION, ETHNICITY, FAITH, EDUCATION, OR INCOME LEVEL.

Those abuse are not only physical, but also includes any sexual, emotional, economic or psychological actions or threats of actions that influence another person (such as behaviours that frighten, intimidate, terrorize, manipulate, hurt, humiliate, blame, injure, or wound someone).

Source: United Nations

If you want to understand more about domestic abuse, we highly recommend the mini serie called MAID. This movie showcases very well the struggles most people victime of emotional abuse are going through:

 
 

Recognize the signs

Since domestic abuse is about controlling someone’s mind and emotions before hurting their body, the signs are not always obvious. Victimes are often confused, scared, and not able to see their partner’s actions for what they really are:

Does your partner…

  • Constantly diminishes you?

  • Control your money?

  • Isolates you, cutting you off from friends and family?

  • Physically abuses you?

  • Forces you to have sex or do intimate things against your will?

  • Use intimidation or threats to gain compliance?

  • Use drugs or alcohol as an excuse for saying hurtful things or abusing you?

  • Blame you for how they feel or act?

  • Make you feel there is no way out of the relationship?

Do you...

  • Sometimes feel scared of how your partner may behave?

  • Constantly make excuses to other people for your partner’s behaviour?

  • Believe that you can help your partner change if only you changed something about yourself?

  • Try not to do anything that would cause conflict or make your partner angry?

  • Always do what your partner wants you to do instead of what you want?

  • Stay with your partner because you are afraid of what your partner would do if you broke up?

If any of those are happening to you, don’t feel ashamed or scared to ask for help. Abuses will not stop until until you make the courageous decision to sick help.

What to do if you are being abused?

First of all, know you are not alone, and this is absolutely not your fault!

  • CALL FOR HELP

Second, making the decision to get out if this situation can be hard and scary. The best way to get help is to start giving a call to the appropriate service provider:

- Canada: Domestic Violence Helpline at 1-800-563-0808. You can find more crisis hotlines for different provinces here.

- US: National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233

Always call from a friend’s house, a family’s house, or anywhere else where you feel safe. If it is an emergency, call 911.

You can also reach out to people you trust in your circle. Remember, you are not alone!

  • HIDE YOUR INTERNET ACTIVITY

Internet is the perfect tool to find information that can help you make decisions about your personal situation and find help. However, closing your browser does not erase the record of your internet activities. If you are concerned that your partner may be monitoring you, you have to learn how to hide your Internet activities.

Learn how to delete cookies from your computer here, and learn more about digital privacy here.

  • HAVE AN EMERGENCY ESCAPE PLAN

Taking decision to leave can be very risky for the victims as they will have a greater risk of being killed by their abuser than if they decided to stay. Having an emergency safety plan set up, before leaving or before a crisis occurs, is a very important step.

- Hide a set of car keys, and pack a bag with extra clothes, important papers, money, medicines, and toiletries. You can keep it at a friend’s house or someone you trust.

- Have a safe place to go if you decide to leave. Here you can find different shelters within Canada if you cannot go to someone you trust.

- Have a prepared excuse to leave if you feel threatened.

- Have a code word so your kids, family, friends, or co-workers know you’re in danger.

- Have a list of emergency contacts, including trusted family or friends, local shelters, and domestic abuse hotline.

Sources: Verywell Mind & WebMD

The “Signal For Help”

“Signal for Help” is a simple one-handed sign someone can use on a video call. It can help a person silently show they need help and want someone to check in with them in a safe way. You can find all of the info here!

 
 

Domestic abuse is still nowadays taboo and very commun.

It is important to learn how to help the victims. Or if you are yourself the victime, learn to gather all the tools necessary for you and your child’s safety. Not being afraid to talk about this subject is also another important step in the fight against domestic violence.

We all have a role to play! Juliette and I decided to organize an art exhibit to raise funds for the Canadian Women’s Foundation and Sistering, two charities helping people victim of domestic abuse. The grand opening night is happening this March 8th, downtown Toronto. All the donations collected will be equally divided between those two charities.

Abusive Relationships: When Clarity Hits.

Abusive relationships are a lot more common that we'd like to think. If you didn't live it yourself, we can guarantee that you know a few loved ones who did. From manipulation to violence, the spectrum of abusive relationships is extremely wide, making it blurry in some cases to realize you're stuck in one.

In our line of work, many women come to us after leaving abusive relationships, as a way to reclaim their bodies and confidence. Their stories have inspired us to host our first exhibit to raise funds against domestic violence, and we had a conversation with Eden in the process, who kindly shared her story with us. We hope it will help give clarity to someone who may need it.

 
 

An abusive relationship gradually sneaks up on you before you know it.

It is safe to say that we have all stayed in situations that didn't feel quite right. We saw the red flags. We felt that sinking feeling in our stomachs. But yet, we found excuses and forgot about it all when the sun was shining. Until it didn't.

"Abuse does not look one exact way.” Eden saysThere are many ways to create control, fear, and insecurity and brute force is not always required. I frequently felt like I was the aggressor and cause of my partner's agony. Almost every sexual encounter was coercive in nature. When I would not comply, I would be met with tears, anger, hours of conversation, and accusations that I was simply withholding as a form of punishment. I was never hit but I lived in a state of constant anxiety and shame."

Growing up, especially as women, we are taught to put up with a lot of discomfort wrapped in sparkly wrapping paper.

Take something as simple as blame & guilt, for example. Both are dominant feelings, abundantly used to manipulate, yet we are not taught to pause and ask ourselves if their claims or labels are legitimate or not to begin with. We are just taught that if you feel it, there is a right reason for it.

Eden wrote the perfect example: “I was frequently accused of causing heartache while having my character smeared and being denied the right to say no. This left me feeling like a terrible person and made it easier for me to blame myself for their feelings of jealousy and rejection."

But… "why did you stay?”

The question burning the lips of outsiders. The answer? Because it's not that simple. You don't wake up one day feeling suddenly ready to end something you've worked so hard to maintain, built on excuses you believed in.

“It took me a long time to fully admit the implications of my ex-partner’s behaviour.” Eden addedMy clarity came from many individual moments. One significant one, however, was when I was telling my friend about my very last encounter with this person. I was finally being honest with them about some of the arguments and violations I had hidden.

When I turned to look at my friend, they were crying. I knew that the experience had felt wrong and I had not been able to stop thinking about it, but seeing their tears and hearing them say that this shouldn’t have happened to me was the first moment that I realized I had lost perspective.

Their reactions helped a lot. They reassured me over and over that this person was pushing boundaries, disregarding consent, and acting in an abusive manner. I felt so unsure of myself at this point but I felt that I could trust them and believe them more than myself.

 
 

Putting an end to it, despite the blur.

We asked Eden how her relationship ended:

“I ended things. I asked my friends to help in the process. Asking them to remind me of why I was doing it, who I was outside of this relationship, and hold me to it regardless of my feelings. They texted me the whole train ride home and made me feel brave. I did it as safely as possible and blocked them when I felt ready.”

Then what? The rollercoaster of the healing process.

Just like you don't develop the courage of leaving such a relationship in one day, there is no magic button to erase all repercussions and become all smiles and giggles.

“I still actively deal with the repercussions of this relationship.

Most days I forget about them, which feels like a sort of revenge. Other days I struggle with nightmares and feelings of deep shame. It shaped how I chose partners afterwards, seeking out protection and confidence over emotional safety and a gentle nature. It also left me with physical repercussions as I developed Vaginismus during this time.

Therapy was my first real step towards healing. I needed the permission to call it what it was, because I had not felt empowered to previously. I also really put in work setting boundaries and healing my relationship with my body (exercising, doing self-care, doing boudoir shoots, refusing sex when it caused pain, etc.). My next relationship was unfortunately not a kind one, so after this I gave myself a much needed break."

Are you relating to any of this?

If so, you may want to read some of Eden's advice: "trust your intuition. Although I struggled to find clarity, there were many moments when my intuition told me I was unsafe, unhappy, and feeling violated.

I would also suggest that you believe people when they tell you who they are. Whether they outwardly label themselves as “bad” or show you through actions. You cannot heal someone through love and kindness. A dead plant won’t grow no matter how much you water it. You always deserve to come first and heartache does not last forever.

If you are losing perspective, then find an impartial third party like a counsellor or trusted person.”

If you need help, please refer to this link to find support in your province. You don't have to deal with this alone.

Did you like what you just read? Join our community via our newsletter below (we email once a week!) and get the info about our upcoming exhibit supporting Sistering and the Canadian Women's Foundation.

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Boudoir with the love of your life, tempting isn't it?

You may not think about it when you have someone in your life but boudoir photography is a great experience to try to spice up your relationship and spend quality time just the two of you… Plus you get badass pictures to hang in your space or keep as a little secret in your bedroom 😉

 
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What is couple boudoir?

This is our little favorite at Scandaleuse Photography. We love taking pictures of couples getting naked… Ok I see what you have in mind my friends and no, we do not do porn. Voyons! We just take pictures of couples with or without clothes on them.

Joke aside, boudoir photography for couple is a fun way to change your routine and try a new experience with your partner. It develops trust and communication; and brings you to another level of intimacy.

Love is powerful and should be immortalized!

Soft, romantic, or sensual?

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Most of the clients who have never done a boudoir session before are afraid of the final photos, especially if they have to show some skin. And when you talk about boudoir photography for couples, lots of people have a negative image and assimilate it to pornography. This is people's biggest concern and it is totally understandable.

While Juliette & I enjoy artsy nude photography, it is way more important for us that our clients feel comfortable in front of our cameras. This is why we let couples decide in which direction they want to go. We have been working with various personalities and each session has been different from the one before. We go with the flow: most people start softly and if they get more comfortable, the vibe changes.

Once again posing fully nude in our session does not imply any sort of pornography. We do not shoot sexual acts and will never do.

Doing a boudoir shoot with your partner makes the shoot more intimate and sensual because we made our couples hug and kiss each other.

The reason is yours

You don’t necessarily need a specific reason to do a boudoir shoot, it could be a spur-of-the-moment kind of vibe. But if you need some ideas, here is why most people give it a try:

  • Celebrate a milestone

It is very common for couples to celebrate their wedding anniversary by doing a shoot. It is a great way to celebrate their long lasting love 🥰.

  • Birthday celebration

As a birthday present, one of our recent client decided to surprise his wife with a boudoir shoot for the two of them. He planned everything, from choosing the photographers (he picked us, yeah!!) to the outfits she will be wearing, without her knowing about it. That was ballsy but he knew her very well and she loved it.

  • Change your routine

We all know how easy it is to end up in a routine we did not really choose and get a tad bored, especially since Covid. Let us tell you that when you do a boudoir shoot it gives you something to talk about for a while (and maybe to show to people): you do something a little scandalous, that feels good, and which gives you a huge boost of confidence.

After your shoot you will feel like you can move mountains… and you probably will!

  • Reconnect

Relationships can be hard. Being together for years and the stress from life can sometimes make us forget to show our love and appreciation to our partner. When you do a boudoir shoot, it is a moment with just the two of you and no distraction from the outside. You build back this little bubble you were once in and it feels good!

  • Spice up your relationship

Even if we don’t photograph sexual acts, doing a boudoir shoot with your partner can be an arousing experience. Imagine: you are both in sexy outfits (whatever that means to you), being very close to each other while flirting and kissing, hands on each other’s body but you cannot go further than that… trust us this brings the temperature up 🔥.

Clothing wise

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We often say that boudoir is like a streap-tease: you start with the most clothes on, and then you take them off one by one. Sometimes, you can end up with nothing else than your birthday suit. It's very likely you booked your shoot to show some skin (this is the difference between boudoir and a regular photoshoot). But it doesn’t mean you have to go for a total nudity if you don’t feel like it.

Do you know what is the best part of doing a boudoir session with your significant other? You can use their hands to cover what you don’t wanna show. Isn’t that wonderful!

Boudoir photography is the best way to have fun with different outfit and get creative with what you want to wear (if you and your partner want to pretend coming back from a fancy party, by all means…). Of course a classic set of lingerie is an option but you can go for so many other styles. Check out this blog to get inspired!

What do people say?

And because words are powerful, we wanted to share with you how one of our couple experienced their first boudoir photography session:

“We were both a little nervous! We had never done anything like this before but we were more excited because this photoshoot would be a celebration of our love as we were celebrating out 25th wedding anniversary. Our experience from start to finish was amazing. It was really fun and we can’t believe how quickly the time flew. I was a little self-conscious about my body but by the end of the shoot I felt relaxed, unjudged, and ended up almost nude - feeling like for the first time I could really embrace my body and expose my inner goddess.”

If boudoir photography is on your bucket list but you feel a little shy to do it by yourself, then bring your partner. Since you will be focusing on each other, you will totally forget about the fact someone is taking your picture, it will be easier to relax.

We want you to see this experience as something fun and empowering. There are so many benefits in doing a boudoir shoot, we promise that you will be freaking proud of yourself for trying something that may be outside your comfort zone!

We have a special deal going for Valentine’s day, click on the button below to see all the details!