Hey there,
My name is Kino Jet, I am a guy, and I did a dudeoir photoshoot. Yep.
Now, you may wonder "why on Earth would you even do that?". Truth is, I just wanted to see what I would look like in a more "risqué" setting. The vision I have of my body has changed over the years and I wanted to see what the reality actually was. I'm also always up for a challenge, and this definitely felt like it could fit the bill.
Was it the most uncomfortable thing I did in my life? I mean, it was pretty high up there.
I have found myself in front of a lens on multiple occasions, for fun or to help a friend out, so I figured it would be fairly easy. But yet, from the moment I booked the shoot, the only thing that was racing through my mind was:
"What the f*ck did I get myself into?"
I had to idea what to expect and I can tell you for a fact, that I was scared shitless.
I immediately began to think of every part of my body that I had issues with - my double chin, my sagging waist... I wondered to myself if it would look good enough, or even, if I had a good side...? I also began to think about what others would think of me doing a photoshoot like this, considering that women usually do this kind of thing, and not men.
Regardless of what I thought, I had already begun to make my way towards the shoot. It was like riding a roller-coaster that you couldn't get off of, because, well, you're already half-way up the hill. You can't just tell the operator "screw this shit, I'm out of here."
But the moment I got to the top, it was everything I didn't expect.
Only seconds after entering the room, I was greeted by the sound of music. The room was furnished with numerous plants, dangling lights, and comfy chairs, and it felt as if I was at a cottage. The moment Fanny and Juliette greeted me, I felt much better.
I started with the most covering outfit I had and then slowly stripped down to my underwear while they guided me through each pose. The more tips they gave me on how to position myself, the more I relaxed and became immersed and dedicated to getting my photo taken.
Time just flew by and before I knew it, the shoot was done.
Now, I don't want to toot my own horn, but I felt pretty damn good. And proud. I successfully took on this challenge like a boss.
I couldn't WAIT to see the photos though I was nervous that they wouldn't look as good as I felt during the shoot. I was prepared to mentally go in a fetal position, but yet, when the photos showed up on the screen, I thought "Wait a minute. I DO f*cking look great".
I might not have had the best sleep the night before, or that "inverted Dorito" look that every guy strives for, but my arms, chest, legs, everything, look damn good, and nobody can't tell me otherwise. The reality I was looking for hit me, and it left me with a smile on my face. Mission accomplished.
I sincerely hope you will give yourself the chance to get in front of the camera too. And when you do, I have one advice you:
Go into the shoot with zero expectations.
Own that photoshoot, show your body off, flex that arm of yours. The less expectations you have, and the more fun it will be.
Growing up, I always had issues on how I saw my body. Even after losing weight, I still saw that pudgy little kid who used to suck in his stomach to hide the fact that he was overweight. But for the first time in a while, I was able to shift my idea of what my body looked like. The boudoir experience was such an amazing learning experience for me when it came to pushing my own boundaries when it came to masculinity. I realized I developed a lot of fear when it came to wanting to feel attractive and confident, and that's completely normal.
It's okay to tell yourself that this is what makes me happy. It's alright to be seen and desired in this way. As a bro telling you, another bro, it's alright to be flexible with your masculinity. It's important to break down those barriers that prevent you from feeling great about yourself.
I believe that the only way to grow as a person, are to do things that makes you feel uncomfortable. When you seek discomfort, you begin to live life's greatest moments and create connections that last for a lifetime.
~ Kino Jet