Dudeoir shoots - boudoir photography isn't only for women.

We have been photographing men since the day we opened Scandaleuse Photography back in 2017, but those past months, we had a big increase of inquiries coming from gentlemen, and some of them had quite the same reasons. So we thought it was time to redo a blog post regarding our dudeoir shoots!

Not sure what dudeoir photography is? Well, keep reading, we will explain everything to you and hopefully give you the extra push you need to try this experience!

Wait, boudoir photography is not only for women?

Of course it is not! Boudoir is for everyone who is over 18 years old.

A boudoir shoot is simply an indoors or outdoors photography session, in which you show more skin than in a regular portrait session. It can be done in lingerie, or any outfit truly, as long as you show some skin (wearing only a piece a fabric, or nothing at all is also an option).

Despite some old school boudoir examples you can see online, you do not need to have any modelling experience, neither be of a certain age, body shape, or gender, in order to try this type of photography. The only thing you need is your beautiful-self and talented photographers (AKA us 😉)!

Is dudeoir photography different than boudoir?

Nope. The term dudeoir was invented so men can relate more to this type of photography by being less afraid to end up with pictures of themselves that could potentially be too feminine for their taste. But the goal stays the same:

Feeling empowered, sexy, and confident!

It is not because this industry showcases mostly women that you cannot do a boudoir shoot as a man. Some of our male clients want to showcase their masculinity by getting moody photographs that showcase their muscles. But other clients want photos that are more bright and airy to show their softer side and reconnect with their femininity (it doesn’t matter what our gender is, we all have both feminine and masculine traits… and that is ok!).

Men, too, want to feel sensual, desired, and more confident. Boudoir photography is the perfect tool to help them get there, without shame nor pressure!

Speaking of reasons…

Since boudoir photography isn’t common for men, most of them held back from doing a shoot because they don't know why they would even give it a try.

Here are a few reasons:

• ACCEPT AND APPRECIATE YOUR BODY THE WAY IT IS

Media put so much pressure on people with all the “beauty standards” that having a clouded vision of our body doesn't only apply to women, it is universal! Most of us wish parts of our body could be different:

“I wish I could be more muscular, thinner, taller, have more boobs, a bigger weenie,…”

The truth is that we should be able to love the way we look naturally instead of wanted to be different. When you learn to accept your body the way it is, you stop comparing yourself to others and start building a stronger confidence.

• BOOST YOUR CONFIDENCE

Speaking of confidence :)… A boudoir shoot is a challenge by itself. It can make you feel vulnerable and pushes you out of your comfort zone. But this is good as it helps you grow and develop that confidence we all need.

Can you guess why it is important to be confident?

It gives you the strength to go through life challenges and make the world your oyster… Not bad right!

We like to say that once you strip down in front of two strangers, nothing else in life can stop you ;)

• CELEBRATE YOURSELF

This is probably the first reason that pushes most of our clients to do or redo a boudoir shoot.

We all need to celebrate our awesome-selves. Every little or big victories, body transformations (new hairstyle, tattoos, …), and even birthdays. Basically anything that makes us happy in our everyday life.

Be your own cheerleader and treat yourself with unique experiences!

• FORGET ABOUT MEN BEING MASCULINE AND WOMAN BEING FEMININE

Yes you read that right! Every single human being has both a feminine and masculine side. Not a lot of men dare to tap into their femininity, but your feminine side is a huge asset in your life. It keeps you grounded and helps you simply enjoy what is around you. You become more aware of what all of your senses are picking up, which helps you develop new perspectives and your creativity.

• BRING DOWN THE PRESSURE AROUND MEN

The pressure around men is quite insane: “Don’t cry! Be strong! Suck it up! Don't be a girl!…” If you guys dare to show a bit of sensitivity, you are right away put in the “weak” category. You have the right to be whatever and whoever you want. But in order to change mentalities, like women, you have to stand up and fight! You have to be willing to tap and show your sensitivity, to make it normal.

By allowing yourself to be more vulnerable and not being afraid to show emotions (rather than always trying to be strong all the time), you will slowly but surely remove some clichés attributed to men.

You won't be only be doing yourself a favour, you will do one for your fellas too.

• A GIFT FOR YOU BUT ALSO FOR YOUR PARTNER

Even if a boudoir shoot should always be done for yourself first, using it as a gift for your partner is always a cool extra bonus, and a great way to spice your relationship up. Who wouldn't be amazingly surprised to see sexy pictures of their lover, fiancé, or spouse?!

Now that you read all the reasons for doing a dudeoir shoot, what are you waiting for to book your session with us 😉

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You are always worthy of respect

Disclaimer: we will be chatting about being true to who you are and standing up for yourself in this post. Needless to say, we are not referring to any behaviours involving harming yourself or other people.

Respect is a must to give, but also to receive!

Why do people lose respect for others to begin with?

Because they don't share the same values or standards. Of course, if we are talking about racism, slut-shaming, sexism and everything else falling into the hatred & discrimation category, this is a different topic. This time, we are referring to choices that YOU make for YOUR own well-being that don't necessarily get "approval" from others. Maybe for certain people, the fact that you practice a certain sport for example can be a reason to lose respect (any pole-dancers out there? Why mess with someone who can bend around a piece of metal to begin with?!) 

But here is the thing: those indicators that people use to judge you are actually not about you per se, they are about them. They are created by their own conditioning, insecurities, past experiences and so on.

So you might as well take a step back and not let it affect you as much because…

Not everyone is going to like you, so you might as well do you!

That can be a tough pill to swallow (yep, for us too): not everyone likes you. Even if you didn't do anything to them. 

Instead of trying to bend over backwards to please everyone, it is much better to surround yourself with people who support you and share the similar values you have. You will be much happier around them, you will build stronger connections, but most importantly, you will feel like yourself.

Embracing who you are is a must for your own happiness. You don't have the energy, room, or time, for people who disrespect you for being you. No one else but YOU is eligible to judge your choices and decisions. 

Don’t let people make you feel like your are worthless!

Your hobbies, education, sexual preferences, or any choices you make related to your appearance, you name it, should NOT affect your credibility.

We often hide or dismiss some aspects of our personalities in order to "fit in". We see it constantly in our industry since we photograph people in a way that can be seen "provocative" by (narrow-minded) traditional minds. Most of our clients are looking to regain confidence and want to feel sexy in their own skin. And some of them want to share their photos with the world as a way to stand up for themselves loud and clear.  Yet, a good 50% don’t dare to do so due to the fear of losing credibility with the people they love and appearing less professional with people from their work if they happen to see the photographs of their shoot.

Don't get us wrong, if you wish to keep your pictures (or any projects) just to yourself because it's part of your own journey, that's totally cool. But if you stop yourself from showing your photographs because you are afraid of what people would say, then you need to realize that you are not the problem. The people judging you are. 

We are strong believers that, if someone is trying to make you feel small and if you just don't give it any attention, try to defend or dismiss it, the "judger" will feel so damn ridiculous that they will end up giving themselves a taste of their own medicine. 

To give you an example, since we use ourselves for our boudoir advertising, we have heard some snarky comments about how "we are just posing naked online". By just saying "yeah, so what? I think I look damn good too!", we remove any possibility for a judgmental response.

You cannot shame someone who is confident in their choices. You cannot affect someone with your judgement if they don’t allowing it. Confidence is truly a super power my friends!

No one can fit in just one box and that is pretty neat! 

Back in the day, even maybe a decade ago, we were supposed to fit nicely in one category and stay in it. Nowadays, people can be so many things at once and it's such a great time to be alive. Thanks to this, we are removing pressure, and changing our standards and expectations.

We are even changing the definition of power by making it about standing up for ourselves and being open about it. We are kicking the stigmas back to oblivion.

Would it shock you if your lawyer had a passion for making macarons? No. What if your dentist was fond of doing trapeze? Would it change their qualifications? No. If anything, it would make them more approachable.

Embrace your unique-self and make your own contribution by being proud of who you are and what you do. It will serve those coming after you.

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The real motive behind Boudoir Photography

Ah. Pretty boudoir photos. Well that’s nice. You get them done and forget about them within a couple of months right? What if we told you that it’s actually false? Indeed, there are many benefits in boudoir photography, but one that we tend to forget is that it is just a perfect occasion to simply pause your busy life and take time to yourself.

(Disclaimer: we are going to focus on women because – well - that is what we are, but the following does apply to anybody.)

Everything and everyone else comes first.

If you are a caring human being, chances are your own well-being is not #1 on your priority list. Your family, your kid, your partner, your business, your problems, you name it, probably are. Congratulations, you are a decent person and we need more people like you!

However, it doesn’t mean your own self-care should be forgotten. After all, you do read it on Instagram every day, with a perfect woman doing an incredible yoga pose at sunset hashtagging #NamasteBitches

And this perfect lady isn’t totally wrong. The reality is that, by putting people or things before you every day, all the time, chances of you burning out will be real. You will end up walking around with a little rain cloud over your head, wondering who you are, what the meaning of life is and how the hell you get out of this.

We can assure you that you’re gonna have one day during which you will feel the urge to slam doors as hard as you can because you’re not supposed to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders but you are trying anyway.

Why is this bad for you? Because you need to be at peace with yourself to basically function and do great things. How can you if you don’t take time to…. take time?

Why are so many women struggling with this to begin with?

Simple answer: we are naturally nurturing. But most importantly, we are expected to be (you know, the ability to be mothers and also the fact that we actually give a crap about what’s around us and all that). You are expected to be relied on and quite frankly, chances are you will be considered selfish if you dared announcing loud and clear “screw it, it’s me time today!”. How dare you, since your primary function is to take care of someone?

So, what do we do? We restrain ourselves from doing what we really want to do. It doesn’t have to be something big like moving to Argentina but even little pleasures in life that could do us some good.

Do we even deserve to do this?

Of course, even when we decide to finally splurge and something for ourselves, it doesn't always come easy. A little demon often sneaks in our brains and tell you "how dare you?! This is not for you.”

Women constantly undervalue themselves and it is a sad but true fact. On top of taking care of people and their things, we also think that we are not worth less than anybody else. Probably because we are constantly reminded that we can always do more. So why would we reward ourselves with some “me-time” to begin with?

If you think this way, this is the moment when you take a seat, grab the tea we’re giving you, look at us right in the eye while we tell you “you are doing the best you can, you are awesome and you deserve a break.”

What does our boudoir work have to do with any of this?

Boudoir isn't just about creating gorgeous art with your sexy self. It's a whole experience. It’s a safe space in which you can let go, think about you, and more importantly: reconnect with yourself.

For a short amount of time in your busy schedule, you are a priority. You can be your true self without hiding behind anything and even better: without being judged.

By embracing your vulnerability and turning it into a strength, you will be able to grow (or rediscover) your confidence. And then what?

You make a powerful tool out of it and use it in your everyday life.

Not only will you feel stronger and become a better partner, friend, mother, but you will trust yourself a lot more to make bigger and scarier decisions. It will be easier for you to take on new challenges and succeed at them. All of this coming from a simple photoshoot out of your comfort zone.

Don’t underestimate the power of taking time to yourself. We all need to disconnect from our “duties” and reconnect with ourselves. And boudoir is a pretty neat way to do it.

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Do you think you see your body the way it really is?

Before we begin, a little disclaimer: the following post is based on our own experiences & feelings. This does not substitute professional medical advice or consultations with healthcare professionals.

Have you ever found yourself too fat or too thin out of the blue? Have you ever been deeply challenged by your reflection in the mirror? Have you ever felt oh-so-certain that you have body flaws despite hearing the opposite from loved ones?

If so, welcome to the world of body dysmorphia.

Body-dysmorphia, a big scary word we think never applies to us.

Body what now? The official definition of body-dysmorphia is as follow:

Body dysmorphic disorder (BDD), or body dysmorphia, is a mental health condition where a person spends a lot of time worrying about flaws in their appearance. These flaws are often unnoticeable to others.

-NHS

Now, if you are like me, you hear “disorder” and you think “well that's not me, I'm not sick or whatever". The minute we slap medical terms on it, it becomes surreal and scary, but let us rephrase that definition:

Body-dysmorphia is when you don't see your body the way it actually is despite being convinced it is a certain way.

The most common example, and the one I personally deal with, is seeing yourself bigger than you actually are.

There are different levels of BDD. For some of us, myself included, we can still live our lives properly. For others, it becomes an obsession that can lead to eating disorders, social isolation and so on.

So, how does body-dysmorphia actually show?

BDD usually shows itself when we become teenagers. Our bodies change fairly quickly, plus, we are leaving our childhood where we pretty much didn't give a crap about our appearance and suddenly, it seems to define us.

Our brain is having a hard time processing this and we are left pointing out everything we think is wrong with us. Except for many of us, it doesn't stop there and we carry it until our adulthood.

Here are of the common ways BDD shows its ugly head:

• Checking yourself in the mirror, repeatedly, focusing on your “flaws”;

• Feeling certain that said flaws make you ugly or even deformed;

• Being convinced that you lost/put on weight based on no concrete proofs whatsoever;

• Trying to “fix” said flaws by over exercising, and often adjusting diet;

• Strongly believing that your flaws are only what other people see;

• Attempting to hide perceived flaws with styling, makeup or clothes;

• Constantly comparing your appearance with others;

• Frequently seeking reassurance about your appearance from others;

• Avoiding social gatherings;

• Feeling completely down for the whole day or more because of your appearance…

The list goes on and on. I don't know about you, but I can safely say that I have experienced over half this list.

What happens to me when the body-dysmorphia monster is knocking on my door and how I deal with it:

I am in my 30’s and I still involuntarily carry the BD monster in my back pocket. I don’t think it will ever go away. BUT, thanks to my experience and my work, I manage to considerably shorten its stays. My BD monster is weight related: I feel like I am bigger than usual especially around my waist.

Usually, it happens when I am off my eating and exercising routine for a week. If I didn’t prioritize my workouts sessions, and ate like crap, I can guarantee you that I am going to think I put on weight and it is going to make me feel guilty and shitty.

My remedy? Giving myself a severe reality check.

Sometimes, you need to give your head a shake.

1) I gather objective facts about why I would be feeling this way.

Like I said, it could be because I didn’t stick to my routine but it can also be because I am about to start my period and I feel bloated or I haven’t slept well for a while and/or I’m stressed. This really helps to remind myself that the vision I have of my body is very likely inaccurate because my mind doesn’t have the good fuel I usually give it.

2) I remind myself that it is physically impossible to have drastic body change in one week.

You’re not going to put on or lose 10 pounds in a week. Biologically, weight changes take a lot longer to show. Your body is smart and if you take a negative turn on your eating habits, it won’t show for a little while.

3) I remind myself that my body is doing its thing during the day and that it is normal if it looks different.

This one is for those who, like me, wish for a constant flat stomach. It’s a myth. Our bodies digest, they bloat, they eliminate. I’m actually pretty damn lucky it does all of that for me. Side note: our lower abdomen as a little cushion because it is protecting our uterus. When you see it like this, typing “how to lose lower belly fat” on Google makes a lot less sense.

4) I remind myself that I have felt this way in the past and have been very wrong.

The first time I realized I had a BD monster was when I looked at photos of my teenaged years, when I felt incredibly fat and I obviously wasn’t. It is usually enough to tell myself that there is a good chance I could be doing the exact same thing right now.

5) I let go of the guilt

Scheduling more workouts and diet change is very common for me as an attempt to “right my wrongs”. When I catch myself doing this, I sit my ass down and remember that, hey, I don’t work out to lose weight, I work out because it makes me feel good. And yeah, maybe I went a bit overboard food wise, but I needed it at the time and it also came with good memories with my loved ones.

So fuck it.
Yes, F U C K I T.
I did nothing wrong, there is nothing to fix, all I need to go back to what feels good and I will. and so will you.

I truly hope that reading this will help you feel less alone and give you some tools to kick your Body-Dysmorphia monster in the balls. We have written additional tips here, in case you need some. .

Here are some helpful books if you are looking to do some digging and heal yourself: The Broken Mirror by Katharine Phillips & Shattered Image by Brian Cuban.

If you feel overwhelmed, don’t hesitate to ask for help and find a therapist to guide you through it all. You don’t have to do this alone

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Censorship, Shadow banning: how social media sabotages our small business

Picture this: it is 2017, in the Toronto Reference Library. Two younger and eager Juliette & Fanny are nervously giggling at the "PUBLISH” button on their website. Finally, Scandaleuse was about to be shared with the world after so many hours being built in their heads. One click later, the business was officially born, and the word needed to be spread out.

What do you do then? Well, you start building an online presence. That's what business people say to do. We had a beautiful portfolio, tons of ideas and were ready to rock the social media madness.

Until, not even a week in, our posts got deleted and our accounts got threatened to be removed from Instagram and Facebook. Try to spread the word about your small business when you can't even post what you do.

You may wonder: "wow, what did the share for this to happen? Porn? Someone eating a kitten?" AHA. Just barely revealing boudoir photos than the platforms decided were for "adult sexual solicitation” (!!!). And it has been like that ever since.

Example of said “adult sexual solicitation”….

Why do we care to begin with?

We are going to be very honest: our clients don't come from social media, or very rarely. We could probably get away with not having a social media presence at all. The reasons why we are working so hard on our Instagram is for 4 main goals:

• Build a kind and respectful community;

• Educate around sensuality, body love and removing its negative stigma and pressure;

• Inspire and empower people (especially women) to be who they want to be;

• Show real bodies in an ocean of heavily edited, unachievable BS.

When our posts aren't taken down, we do succeed. We have met wonderful people and created beautiful projects thanks to social media, the most recent being our Unstoppable Exhibit, which also became the last straw in our thought process of getting the hell out of social media, once and for all.

As you can imagine, we have gone through multiple phases with our online presence, some comical, some a lot less.

The social media phases yours truly went through:

1) The "F*** you, we will do what we want" phase

That's when the little rebels that we are decided to try to stick it to the Man! You don't want us to post nipples? We will talk about it even more. We became officially black listed and to this day, we can't even do paid ads anywhere even if we posted the photo of a baby alpaca. That lasted a couple of years, until we realized we were pretty powerless and the removal of our accounts was imminent.

2) The "Fine, we will play by the rules" phase.

We became good girls and adjusted our entire vision to make sure the censorship monster wasn't gonna smack us. Nipples were blurred out and all. But then, IG changed once again their policy and it wasn't just the photos themselves that needed to be super PG, but also the wording.

Writing things like “nudity” “boudoir” “sexy” and so on became automatically flagged. The posts weren't deleted, but they weren't shown to anybody. 👌 That's shadow banning, and as you can imagine, completely useless for anybody trying to build a social media presence.

3) The "pack your bags and go" phase.

We were dealing with our shadowban frustration, battling with the "what is even the point of busting our butts with well thought and genuine content if nobody can see it?!", but we were still kicking.

Until we started talking about our Unstoppable Exhibit.

See, this project was solely created to spread awareness about domestic violence and collect donations for 2 charities offering help and shelters to the victims. But guess what. The words "domestic violence" or "abuse" are flagged. The series of photos contains partial nudity. So the posts were barely shown and it 👏 pissed 👏 us 👏 off.

Having to censor ourselves about our artistic work is already annoying enough, but seeing it happen when we are sharing content that could literally save lives was the last straw.

Unfortunately it doesn’t stop there

It has been 6 years now that we launched our social media platforms and this censorship is still happening and unfortunately getting worse. Recently we noticed that now even Google is removing some of our business posts (once again for inappropriate content 😡) and there is nothing we can do beside changing the main picture over and over again until we find the “proper” one.

It might not seems like it but this BS is time consuming and a big factor of stress. 90% of our clients find us through Google so the idea of being censored there is very scary as it could impact our business negatively.

We constantly feel this Damocles sword above our heads.

So… what now?

We love what we do and work really hard to build our business and educate people on the over-sexualization of the female body. So we had to find an alternative:

We are spending less and less time and energy on those stupid social media platforms, and devoting much more to our newsletter. This is our own land, we can share whatever we want to without fearing to be removed. Not having to worry about this is giving us a new love for writing and sharing.

Every Saturday, we combine a mixture of the following in our "Scandaleuse Letter":

- educational resources;
- empowering tips & tricks;
- gorgeous photography;
- new projects; and,
- behind the scenes.

Our only hope? That you will join the 500 people that are already there.

All you have to do is fill out the form below. You can unsubscribe at any time.

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We can't wait to see you on the other side,

With love 💖,

- The slightly older but still eager Juliette & Fanny

What does "empowerment" even mean?

Haaa “Empowerment”. THE buzzword we've seen everywhere for the past few years. “Women empowering women”, “empower yourself” , “get empowered”… It is such a pretty word with such a badass connotation. Yet, many of us aren’t even sure of what it actually means. Let's dive in, shall we?

First of, let's get the actual definition:

“Empowerment is the authority or power given to someone to do something."
- Oxford Dictionary

That something being positive for yourself and others. Whether it is a new dream, a new goal, a new creation of some sort…

But wait, does this means that to get empowered, it has to come from somewhere else other than yourself? Theoratically, yes.

First, well, that's why we are here. 😉
Second, yes, you can be empowered by someone else, and yourself can empower someone.

While, technically, you don't need permission, validation, or encouragement to do anything for yourself, many of us feel that need. This is very often labelled as negative. And it could be, if everything you want to do depends on it.

But if not, so what if you need an extra boost from a loved one to make a jump towards something you’ve been wanting to do?

We all need outside support and it would be a shame to deny ourselves this option. If you have someone who has your best interest at heart, willing to empower you, at least, give it a listen. As we talked about in our post about the important of the female collective, we can only go so far alone. Especially considering how great empowerment feels.

How does it feel to be empowered?

To sum it up, it feels like you've received a huge boost of confidence and that you can move mountains likes they're grains of salt.

You feel like yourself, ready to tackle the world, bring your dreams to reality and you usually take more people along with you.

It is a beautiful feeling and you must have felt it one way or another at least once. Maybe when you achieved a goal you didn't think you could, or maybe when you caught your reflection in the mirror and went “damn, I look good!”. Take a moment to think about the last time you felt it, even if it was just a little spark.

💡 When was the last time you felt empowered?

Now, how do you get more of this? Does that mean you need to harass your loved ones so they can turn the switch on?

Well, good news, you don't have to!

Can I empower myself?

Absolutely. Self-empowerment is actually a must in order to build yourself and live your life the way you want. You can take charge of your own path and develop that rock solid confidence.

Your self-empowerment starter pack:

1) Remind yourself you know what is best for you.

At the end of the day, you are the person you spent the most time with and you know yourself better than anyone. If you are going through a moment of self-doubt and are getting lost in outside noise, take a breather and ask yourself what it is that you really want.

2) Learn to read between the lines of judgement.

Judgement is the worst obstacle to change. If we dare to share an idea with someone and that person go against it more or less subtlely, there is a good chance we would back out of it. Before you do, ask yourself if it is actually about you, or if that person is projecting their own insecurity on you. (Spoiler alert, in 99.9% of the time, that is what's going on when someone is judging you.)

3) Find your support system

You don't have a supportive family, friends or partners? Good news, there are other circles that can provide the support you need on many levels. (Ahem, again, us being one of them). Quick reminder while we are at it, just because some people are family doesn't mean they can't be toxic. Just leaving that here.

4) Empower someone else

This is the nicest snowball effect: when you do the empowering for someone, you will receive some back and/or will get inspired to take actions yourself. Really, try it.

5) Give yourself permission.

Create little moments for yourself when you let your mind go wild. No expectations, no money or skill issues, nobody stopping you. Think outside the box, day dream, meditate, journal, see what comes out. You could be surprised by how reachable some of those ideas can be.

There you have it. Now you can honestly say what empowerment is when you mention it and you know how to start digging to get your dose!

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Sensuality 101

Let's get liberated today!

Sensuality can be a scary topic for some people as it is common to believe it is only related to sex, and usually used as a weapon for seduction. Even if both are connected (when you learn to develop your sensuality, you learn to be in touch with your body the way it is, which opens up your sexuality), sensuality is also so much more than sex.

It is the ability to feel deeply connected to all our senses, and experience life in a more beautiful and energetic way.

It is time to demystify sensuality

If you Google it, you will read the common definition of sensuality is:

The enjoyment, expression, or pursuit of physical, especially sexual, pleasure.

But sensuality is also defined as the ability to feel in touch with our touch, smell, sight, hearing, taste and any extrasensory perceptions beyond our five commonly recognized senses.

If sensuality is often interpreted as sexuality, it is because of that one thing they have in common. PLEASURE. What can be more difficult to understand is this notion of pleasure: some things can give you sexual pleasure and others can be pleasurable without sexual desire.

Sensuality can increase your sexual behaviour but can also be about enjoying simple pleasures, such as watching a sunset, flavourful food, a massage, a perfume or any particular smell, a yoga pose, feeling the sun on your skin… Anything that makes you feel great in the moment but isn't related to sex.

You gotta embrace it!

As women we heard it all:

“Be polite. Dress up properly. Be a good girl!".

Most of us have been told to never be too loud because people will think we are hysterical. We have been told to not take too much room otherwise we are just showing off. Neither to show too much skin because we are whores if we do. So we cover ourselves up, forget how to be in touch with our femininity and let our true essence disappears. And for what? Because we feel like we have to please others all the time, and are afraid of people's judgment.

Not loving our whole-self enough leads to frustration, jealousy and sadness. How can we expect to be happy and live the life we want, when we are filled with all those negative feelings?

Learning to embrace sensuality (btw, we are all sensual beings!) is a way to start feeling in harmony with our body, which increases our self-confidence and trust in others. And since sensuality is connected to all of our senses, it also develops our creativity, imagination and intuition. Not that bad hey!

Sensuality = Femininity

It doesn't matter what we identify to, we all have a feminine and masculine side. Sensuality is a powerful tool to dig deeper into your feminine energy. If you feel like you are more in touch with your masculinity, exploring your sensuality will help you understand and bring back more of your feminine side into your life.

It is very easy to do! You will read below that there are many ways to embrace your sensuality, all you need is to keep an open mind about experiencing life.

Different ways to explore sensuality

When at peace with your whole-self, you are less likely to feel stressed in your every day life. You also don't feel the need of external validation: what people can think of you does not matter anymore. It creates a new level of self-love and confidence.

As said before, there many possibilities to experience sensuality:

• Movement:

  Can be some yoga, stretching, dance, a walk in nature,… Moving your body every day is amazing for so many aspects of your life, one of them being sensuality. When you move, you have to be aware of every inches of your body. Every muscles, and nerfs get activated, which makes you feel more in touch with yourself. It also allows you put all your energy around your hips which makes you feel so powerful and sexy.

• Food:

  Big foodies here! We are both from France, so let us tell you that you how much food means to us. France has a fabulous culinary reputation and it is for a reason: french cuisine is all about flavours and smells, forget about salt and sugar, we are talking about explosion of aromas. We learnt to educate our palate, so when we try exquisite food, it can feel like non-sexual orgasms.

• Clothing:

  Every shapes, colours, and textures you choose to wear can tell a lot about who you are, and what you enjoy in life. Clothes are a powerful tool for confidence and sensuality, it is like wearing a second skin. When you were pieces that make you feel good about your body, or the way you look, you unlock your emotions and allow yourself to be who you want to be.

• Nature:

  Our world is a beautiful place and need to be cherished. Next time you go outside, be aware of everything around you: the sounds, colours, shades of lighting, movement created by the wind, smells, feel the sun on your skin… Feel the energy of Life. How does it make you feel?

• Boudoir photography:

  Can you think of a more powerful way to develop your sensuality than boudoir photography? Having (pardon our french) the balls or vulva to show vulnerability by posing half naked in front of two strangers (AKA us), and still feel badass and empowered, is pretty impressive!

Now you just have to go for it!

“I never thought that sex was wrong, sinful, dirty. When you take away the thought of things being dirty or forbidden, then you can really enjoy your sensuality.” Gioconda Belli

Sensuality as a way to experience a deep peace within yourself, to feel alive and fulfill. When you embrace it, it makes you feel like you can do anything.

The world become your oyster.

And guess what?! When you feel like you can do anything, you actually start doing stuff that make you happy and 100% yourself. It is like a magical kick in the bum!

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5 hilarious sentences we say as boudoir photographers

We keep repeating it but we love being boudoir photographers! We meet freaking strong and badass people with different stories, it gives us the motivation to push ourselves and shoots are always a lot of fun. On top of that, boudoir gives us the opportunity to use our sense of humour to say unique sentences.

So for you and in exclusivity, here is the top 5 of the most unexpected sentences we have been saying since we opened Scandaleuse:

“Let's get naked”

Even if doing a boudoir shoot doesn't mean you have to go for full nudity, the goal of this type of photography is to show some skin (I mean everyone needs a picture of them fully naked, framed in their living room right?!). It can be intimidating at first to strip down in front of two strangers (AKA us… Hi!), especially if it is your first shoot.

But you will see that being brave enough to show some vulnerability will make your self-confidence skyrocks and you will leave your shoot feeling like you can conquer the world!

We all need a little push in life and we would not be professional photographers if we were not telling you when it is time to take your clothes off!

“Boobs up, shoulders down"

In photography, different criteria make a picture beautiful: the subject, the lighting, the environment around, the techniques and the story telling. But in boudoir, the subject is the most important because this type of photography highlight the beauty of the body. So we need to make sure we teach our clients the proper posture: the poses we make them do have to follow their personality and also their shape.

But if some poses are better on certain type of bodies and not others, there are some general guidance that works on everyone, such as:

• Bringing your chin up: nobody likes showing their double chin (that we all have by the way depending on how we place our head!) and it gets even worst when we get stuck with it because our chin was too low when the picture was taken. So next time you worry about this, don't hesitate to bring your chin a tad higher, but not too much, to not have this problem anymore.

• Straightening your back: round back and shoulders too forward… our era's problem! By looking a lot at our phones or computers (but also because we are totally ignoring the importance of a great posture), we end up destroying our backs. When you pose during a boudoir shoot (or any other portrait photography), having a round back is not flattering and does not show confidence. To fix this, all you have to do is straightening your back to make yourself taller. You will see that the picture will show a total different attitude and vibe.

• Bringing your boobies up and shoulders down: When we are nervous, shy, or not sure of what we are doing, our shoulders automatically go up toward our ears, which creates a lot of tension in the neck and back area. It makes breathing more difficult which can create anxiety. But if you open up your chest to the ceiling and bring your shoulders down, you will feel more relax.

• Pointing your toes: “frog feet” can really mess up a picture. Thinking of pointing your toes will make your legs look much longer and will add a delicate touch to the photograph.

“Touch yourself”

A boudoir shoot is the perfect opportunity to reconnect with your femininity and sensuality. But in order to do so, you cannot be afraid of your body. So we like to tell our clients to not hesitate to touch themselves. Not in a sexual way of course, but to not end up with “robot arms”. While posing, it is really important to know where to put your hands:

“Put your hands on your boobies” = beautiful and romantic topless pose for those we don't wanna show nipples.

“Cup your butt cheeks out” = perfect to make a booty a tad bigger while sitting and to give the illusion of a stronger back's arch.

And touch yourself because it feels so good give ourselves a nice hug from time to time ;)

“Give yourself a good wedgie!”

This one hurt a little, doesn’t it?!

We all have experienced one way or another at least once in our life wedgies (we can for sure say it is not pleasant at all!). Either someone pulled up your underwear has a kid, or you are used to them because you wear thong under tight pans (don’t get me starting on the awful frontal wedgie 😅). So why on earth would we ask our clients to give themselves a wedgie?

Well the answer is simple: pulling your underwear higher on your hips and butt when you pose for a boudoir shoot makes your legs looks longer, and your hips sensual AF! If you are sceptical about what you just read then stop reading, go in front of your mirror and give it a try. The result is mind blowing 🔥.

See, we told you so… after all we are the experts ;)

“It Smells like dick”

We receive quite a lot of inquiries from men who are looking to do a boudoir shoot (usually via phone calls, it seems like those gentlemen do not want any written proof). Most of the time they want to do more than boudoir, they want erotic or pornographic shoots and often expect us to be part of their fantasy (did we have to create a page with all the things WE DO NOT DO? Yes absolutely!). It usually start the same way:

• we receive a call from a man looking to get more info about our shoots.

• we tell that person we do not offer erotic photography. The person seems to understand and is, of course, never looking to do explicit sexual acts.

• we ask for his email and sent the info (including the page that describes in details our photographic limits). We also make sure one more time he understands we don't do porn: “Of course, I respect your limits ladies, it is absolutely not my intention to do more than boudoir!"

• So we ask more questions about the project, schedule a Zoom meeting to see the person and get acquainted.

This is usually when they reveal their true intention… Every time we can tell that they are not being honest (we like to say we can smell the dick from a distance hahaha). And we are right 98% (we had a few inquiries from amazing men who were actually looking to do artistic shoots for themselves)! Every time we dig deeper we find out they want us to be part of their sexual scenarios or we get the usual:

“Ok you don't want to take pictures of sexual acts, but what about a little bit of sex?”

We call those inquiries: “Just The Tip Please”.

Boudoir photography should always be a badass and empowering experience for anyone who is trying it. And the best way to get there, is to not take it too seriously to be able to relax and have fun. This is why we like to add a touch of humour during our sessions or even when we work just the two of us (our specialty? Dad jokes and ridiculous dance moves!).

Side note, we are super proud of this blog and we think we are funny ladies 😂

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Abusive Relationships: When Clarity Hits.

Abusive relationships are a lot more common that we'd like to think. If you didn't live it yourself, we can guarantee that you know a few loved ones who did. From manipulation to violence, the spectrum of abusive relationships is extremely wide, making it blurry in some cases to realize you're stuck in one.

In our line of work, many women come to us after leaving abusive relationships, as a way to reclaim their bodies and confidence. Their stories have inspired us to host our first exhibit to raise funds against domestic violence, and we had a conversation with Eden in the process, who kindly shared her story with us. We hope it will help give clarity to someone who may need it.

An abusive relationship gradually sneaks up on you before you know it.

It is safe to say that we have all stayed in situations that didn't feel quite right. We saw the red flags. We felt that sinking feeling in our stomachs. But yet, we found excuses and forgot about it all when the sun was shining. Until it didn't.

"Abuse does not look one exact way.” Eden says “There are many ways to create control, fear, and insecurity and brute force is not always required. I frequently felt like I was the aggressor and cause of my partner's agony. Almost every sexual encounter was coercive in nature. When I would not comply, I would be met with tears, anger, hours of conversation, and accusations that I was simply withholding as a form of punishment. I was never hit but I lived in a state of constant anxiety and shame."

Growing up, especially as women, we are taught to put up with a lot of discomfort wrapped in sparkly wrapping paper.

Take something as simple as blame & guilt, for example. Both are dominant feelings, abundantly used to manipulate, yet we are not taught to pause and ask ourselves if their claims or labels are legitimate or not to begin with. We are just taught that if you feel it, there is a right reason for it.

Eden wrote the perfect example: “I was frequently accused of causing heartache while having my character smeared and being denied the right to say no. This left me feeling like a terrible person and made it easier for me to blame myself for their feelings of jealousy and rejection."

But… "why did you stay?”

The question burning the lips of outsiders. The answer? Because it's not that simple. You don't wake up one day feeling suddenly ready to end something you've worked so hard to maintain, built on excuses you believed in.

“It took me a long time to fully admit the implications of my ex-partner’s behaviour.” Eden added ”My clarity came from many individual moments. One significant one, however, was when I was telling my friend about my very last encounter with this person. I was finally being honest with them about some of the arguments and violations I had hidden.

When I turned to look at my friend, they were crying. I knew that the experience had felt wrong and I had not been able to stop thinking about it, but seeing their tears and hearing them say that this shouldn’t have happened to me was the first moment that I realized I had lost perspective.

Their reactions helped a lot. They reassured me over and over that this person was pushing boundaries, disregarding consent, and acting in an abusive manner. I felt so unsure of myself at this point but I felt that I could trust them and believe them more than myself. “

Putting an end to it, despite the blur.

We asked Eden how her relationship ended:

“I ended things. I asked my friends to help in the process. Asking them to remind me of why I was doing it, who I was outside of this relationship, and hold me to it regardless of my feelings. They texted me the whole train ride home and made me feel brave. I did it as safely as possible and blocked them when I felt ready.”

Then what? The rollercoaster of the healing process.

Just like you don't develop the courage of leaving such a relationship in one day, there is no magic button to erase all repercussions and become all smiles and giggles.

“I still actively deal with the repercussions of this relationship.

Most days I forget about them, which feels like a sort of revenge. Other days I struggle with nightmares and feelings of deep shame. It shaped how I chose partners afterwards, seeking out protection and confidence over emotional safety and a gentle nature. It also left me with physical repercussions as I developed Vaginismus during this time.

Therapy was my first real step towards healing. I needed the permission to call it what it was, because I had not felt empowered to previously. I also really put in work setting boundaries and healing my relationship with my body (exercising, doing self-care, doing boudoir shoots, refusing sex when it caused pain, etc.). My next relationship was unfortunately not a kind one, so after this I gave myself a much needed break."

Are you relating to any of this?

If so, you may want to read some of Eden's advice: "trust your intuition. Although I struggled to find clarity, there were many moments when my intuition told me I was unsafe, unhappy, and feeling violated.

I would also suggest that you believe people when they tell you who they are. Whether they outwardly label themselves as “bad” or show you through actions. You cannot heal someone through love and kindness. A dead plant won’t grow no matter how much you water it. You always deserve to come first and heartache does not last forever.

If you are losing perspective, then find an impartial third party like a counsellor or trusted person.”

If you need help, please refer to this link to find support in your province. You don't have to deal with this alone.

Did you like what you just read? Join our community via our newsletter below (we email once a week!) and get the info about our upcoming exhibit supporting Sistering and the Canadian Women's Foundation.

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"It's just not me" - how to feel like yourself on your boudoir photos

There are many fears around boudoir photography and on of the biggest we have heard as photographers is “I'm not a sexy person, it is just not me". And we don't blame you, we haven't met many people saying out loud that they see themselves as sexy or sensual.

The thing is: we are ALL sensual and sexy beings. It just have to be in our own way. So, how can you enjoy the perks of doing a boudoir shoot and still feel like yourself?

1) Detach yourself from what you've been told "sexy” is.

Anything sexy often comes with its load of clichés and negative stigma. What is sexy to one person, can easily be seen as vulgar to another. Trying to find something that would work for everyone would be a waste of energy, let's just put it towards finding what makes you feel sensual and sexy. The good news? It could be anything. Being sexy or sensual is very versatile and far from being based solely on appearance. Do you feel sexy when playing the guitar or wearing a specific body-suit? Good, just bring those.

2) Pick the right makeup, if any.

It is often encouraged to wear make-up on photoshoots to wear - and we do offer it ourselves if you wish - but it doesn't mean it is mandatory. Not only you don't need to wear any if it's not your jam, but if you choose to, you don't have to take it too far from what you usually do.

Of course, working with a makeup artist is also the opportunity to try something different, and if you want to experiment, go for it! But if you want to look like yourself, see it as a way to get a professional version of your own makeup.

HAVING A CLEAR VISION OF THE MAKEUP YOU PICTURE YOURSELF WITH IS VERY HELPFUL TO feel like yourself.

3) Prepare outfits that make you feel amazing.

Boudoir isn't just about the classic lingerie sets, far from it!

ANY OUTFIT CAN BE TURNED INTO A BOUDOIR ONE, YOU JUST HAVE TO REMOVE SOME LAYERS.

If you feel like a garter belt and stockings aren't like you, take your favourite style and remove some layers! Loose tshirts with cute panties, a pair of jeans topless, a silky robe, bralette and skirt, possibilities are endless, so have fun with it!

4) Don't overthink poses

When it comes to posing, the simplier, the better!

ONE POSE LOOKS VERY DIFFERENT ON 2 DIFFERENT BODIES.

It's great to feel inspired by some poses but attempting to copy them exactly might not work. However, poses can be adapted to your body type so they still looks badass, effortless, and flattering. Don't hesitate to ask your photographer, we personally love getting inspiration photos from our clients and adjust the poses depending on them.

5) Try it at home

Practice makes perfect! Observing ourselves, taking our own photos, trying on different outfits and poses in front of the mirror… All of these are very helpful to see what you look like when you feel like yourself. That way, you will feel comfortable quicker in front of a lens and will know what works for you.

IF YOU FEEL LIKE GETTING THE HANG OF IT SOLO BEFORE TURNING TO A PRO, CHECK OUT OUR ONLINE BOUDOIR GUIDE*! IT IS THE PERFECT TOOL TO LEARN TO STYLE AND POSE YOURSELF IN DIFFERENT SETTINGS, IN THE COMFORT OF YOUR OWN HOME.

*its cost is 100% redeemable on a photoshoot with us too!

Don’t forget to not take yourself seriously or put pressure on yourself. A boudoir shoot is such an empowering and beautiful experience, you won’t regret trusting the process!

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How we ended up creating an exhibit for women

Ever since we began our careers as photographers, we put "hosting an exhibit” on our "dream big” bucket list. You know, the list of things you don't really dare thinking they could actually happen because they seem so huge to you? Yes, that list.

And it stayed there for 4 years. The idea resurfaced in conversations here and there, before getting buried by other projects deemed more accessible.

Until the day it actually turned out to be in our reach.

Here is a tiiiiiny glimpse of what we're cooking

It is safe to say that, so far, we've never had a project aligning so smoothly. Every single projects we have created required an insane amount of hustling and hope, and many of them failed. This one was brought to us and is just clicking its way forward. And it all started with…

Meeting the right people.

Our job allows us to meet wonderful people. The kind of people who are looking to make a difference within themselves. And those people are also the ones who are ready to lend a hand to others.

Back in July 2021, we had no idea that one of our clients worked at gallery right downtown Toronto (in a building we have been in many times, dreaming of the day we will get to do something there may we add) until she casually said:

"If you guys ever need a gallery space, just let me know and I will see what I can do!”

Dyana planted the seed and we didn't think much of it, until we started working on renewing a past project: Unstoppable.

Our freshly done logo

Wanting to do something bigger.

Unstoppable was a big group photoshoot we initially launched in 2019, in order to raise awareness around the fact that just because you choose to take intimate photos of yourself does not justify you losing credibility, on top of adding a good layer of body positivity.

We had been dying to do a second edition and we were in the middle of brainstorming it when Dyana made that comment.

Then it clicked in our brains: what if we could turn this project into an exhibit?

Except it wasn't enough. A project like this becomes even more meaningful when it relates to a cause.

This was pretty much right between lockdowns in Toronto. And somehow, we kept coming across organizations and articles sharing about how much those lockdowns have made the number of women victim of domestic violence skyrocket.

Many of our clients are survivors of abusive and violent relationships. They come to us as a way to celebrate their getting out of it and reclaiming their own image.

Scandaleuse was created to give women a way to express and liberate themselves. As you can imagine, we have always been extremely touched by those stories.

And just like that, we had a chance to help differently.

This entire exhibit and photoshoot would be created to raise funds and awareness for organizations helping women victim of domestic violence.

Ok, great, but who to help?

Before we could even finish that though, the universe aligned once again: another one of our clients randomly told us about her volunteering for a women shelter in the city. She gave us some contact we could talk to and we ended up connection with both Sistering and Canadian Women's Foundation.

Getting support.

Now, we are at the stage where things are getting real. The support we have received so far has been so organic. We created a whole concept around the photographs and did the shoot with 10 amazing women. The gallery is secured thanks to Dyana. The charity is on board thanks to Apharnna. We even got a grant from the Ontario Arts Council (thank you Victoria!).

We are currently looking for sponsors and an ad agency to help us spread awareness. If you or someone you know can help, please contact us here.

We are learning many things along the way and we can't wait to show you more. In the meantime, mark your calendars for March 8th, for our big opening night!

If you want to keep an eye on this project and get all of the info when the time comes, make sure to join our weekly newsletter below! ⬇️

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Supported by the Ontario Arts Council

5 reasons why you should do a boudoir shoot for your partner

While the best reason to do a boudoir shoot is definitely for yourself, you can also truly enjoy sharing these precious risqué photos with your special someone. We can all safely admit that when we feel beautiful, proud and confident, it does feel extra good when someone else can see it too.

Here are 5 reasons why you should consider sharing your boudoir photos with your partner:

1) The ultimate surprise effect

Many people would never expect in a million years to receive professional boudoir photos of their partners. Especially if it is not a habit of yours to snap some spicy selfies, giving such a unique gift will definitely lend you the best-gift-ever gold medal. Seeing your loved one face light up with surprise is such a bliss to witness. And with this follows…

2) To make them feel extra special

Boudoir photos are the proof that you stepped into vulnerable and intimate experience. You sharing the outcome with your partner is a privilege. You didn't have to do that, but yet, you've let them in, creating an even stronger bond between you two. Talk about feeling special!

3) To bring out more confidence in you that they will get to enjoy too.

It is no secret that confidence is attractive as hell. By doing a boudoir shoot, you will get a strong confidence boost that will spread on everything you touch. Yes, your relationship too!

4) To step into your sexy self that they will (definitely) love too!

The above also applies to your sensual side, side often buried deep under our every day lives. If anything, we get so caught up in daily routines, it is rare that we maintain this oh-so-pleasant feeling of being sexy. Maybe you never really felt it either and you made the great decision of experimenting (yay, you!). Not only will you enjoy a confidence boost, but you will also get a strong sexy boost! Everyone enjoys seeing their partner in a different light here and there, especially when it involves their (almost) naked bodies!

5) To give them a spicy reminder that you're a hot stuff, my friend!

This applies even more if you have been with someone for quite a while. Even if there is a lot of love between two people, sometimes, it happens that we forget how attractive our special someone is. Well, try giving them boudoir photos and let the reminder that, yes, they are with a sexy beast, sink in!

If you are ready to dazzle your partner with beautiful photos of yourself, take advantage of our Christmas deal! We are offering 50% off on our sessions for the occasion, as well as including some free goodies!

I tried a dudeoir shoot!

Hey there,

My name is Kino Jet, I am a guy, and I did a dudeoir photoshoot. Yep.

via GIPHY

Now, you may wonder "why on Earth would you even do that?". Truth is, I just wanted to see what I would look like in a more "risqué" setting. The vision I have of my body has changed over the years and I wanted to see what the reality actually was. I'm also always up for a challenge, and this definitely felt like it could fit the bill.

Was it the most uncomfortable thing I did in my life? I mean, it was pretty high up there.

I have found myself in front of a lens on multiple occasions, for fun or to help a friend out, so I figured it would be fairly easy. But yet, from the moment I booked the shoot, the only thing that was racing through my mind was:

"What the f*ck did I get myself into?"

I had to idea what to expect and I can tell you for a fact, that I was scared shitless.

I immediately began to think of every part of my body that I had issues with - my double chin, my sagging waist... I wondered to myself if it would look good enough, or even, if I had a good side...? I also began to think about what others would think of me doing a photoshoot like this, considering that women usually do this kind of thing, and not men.

Regardless of what I thought, I had already begun to make my way towards the shoot. It was like riding a roller-coaster that you couldn't get off of, because, well, you're already half-way up the hill. You can't just tell the operator "screw this shit, I'm out of here."

But the moment I got to the top, it was everything I didn't expect.

Only seconds after entering the room, I was greeted by the sound of music. The room was furnished with numerous plants, dangling lights, and comfy chairs, and it felt as if I was at a cottage. The moment Fanny and Juliette greeted me, I felt much better.

I started with the most covering outfit I had and then slowly stripped down to my underwear while they guided me through each pose. The more tips they gave me on how to position myself, the more I relaxed and became immersed and dedicated to getting my photo taken.

Time just flew by and before I knew it, the shoot was done.

Now, I don't want to toot my own horn, but I felt pretty damn good. And proud. I successfully took on this challenge like a boss.

via GIPHY

I couldn't WAIT to see the photos though I was nervous that they wouldn't look as good as I felt during the shoot. I was prepared to mentally go in a fetal position, but yet, when the photos showed up on the screen, I thought "Wait a minute. I DO f*cking look great".

I might not have had the best sleep the night before, or that "inverted Dorito" look that every guy strives for, but my arms, chest, legs, everything, look damn good, and nobody can't tell me otherwise. The reality I was looking for hit me, and it left me with a smile on my face. Mission accomplished.

I sincerely hope you will give yourself the chance to get in front of the camera too. And when you do, I have one advice you:

Go into the shoot with zero expectations.

Own that photoshoot, show your body off, flex that arm of yours. The less expectations you have, and the more fun it will be.

Growing up, I always had issues on how I saw my body. Even after losing weight, I still saw that pudgy little kid who used to suck in his stomach to hide the fact that he was overweight. But for the first time in a while, I was able to shift my idea of what my body looked like. The boudoir experience was such an amazing learning experience for me when it came to pushing my own boundaries when it came to masculinity. I realized I developed a lot of fear when it came to wanting to feel attractive and confident, and that's completely normal.

It's okay to tell yourself that this is what makes me happy. It's alright to be seen and desired in this way. As a bro telling you, another bro, it's alright to be flexible with your masculinity. It's important to break down those barriers that prevent you from feeling great about yourself.

I believe that the only way to grow as a person, are to do things that makes you feel uncomfortable. When you seek discomfort, you begin to live life's greatest moments and create connections that last for a lifetime.

~ Kino Jet

If like Kino you want to try this fantastic adventure that is dudeoir photography, then our Movember Boudoir Marathon is for you!