Everything you need to know about our boudoir process

The time has come!

Maybe it was a spur-of-the-moment decision, or a dream you had for a long time, but you finally took the decision to book your boudoir shoot.

You feel super excited, maybe a little bit nervous because it might be your first time and you wonder:

Now what?!

You don't know what to expect, you are not sure what the next steps are, you can feel confused by all the information you see on different websites…

Do not wonder any longer, today we are sharing with you our boudoir shoots process.

Let's talk pricing first

When you go on our website, you can see our pricing is cut in two:

• First, there is the session fee, which includes the expertise of two photographers (Juliette and Fanny, hi this is us 😀), the location, makeup and hair, and the photoshoot.

• Second, there are the photo packages for the digital pictures, prints, or albums.

We divide our pricing in two for a couple of reasons: we believe you should be able to choose the quantity of photographs you want to purchase (instead of paying from the start, for example, for 25 images when you want only 15).

It also makes boudoir photography more accessible since you do not have to pay everything upfront. And multiple instalments are also available!

Use our contact form

Once you have been through our website to look at the details of our work and our portfolio, the next step is to contact us and for that, we have a very easy-to-fill contact form! An email works fine too :)

When contacting us, do not hesitate to tell us why you want to do a shoot and what your story is. We LOVE when people share their reasons behind wanted to do a boudoir shoot. And it also helps us to have a better idea of what you have in mind!

It is time to chat

Once you sent us your email, we will reply to you within 24 hours, with more details about our shoots and the option to book a quick virtual meeting with us. This is a very important part of the process in which you can tell us more about your ideas or vision, ask us any questions, see if we are a good fit, and book a potential date for your shoot.

It is free and does not commit you to anything!

All in one platform

Once the meeting is over, we will send you everything you need in order to book your shoot:

• your invoice and steps to pay the retainer (the retainer is used to secure your date and book our makeup artist);

• your contract;

• and your release option (to let us know if we can use or not your pictures).

Everything is sent to you digitally via an online platform that keeps all the document in your private portal. It is very easy to access, and you do not have to print anything.

Makeup & Hair

Once the retainer is paid, we book one of our talented makeup artists if you wish to get pampered by a professional. We will introduce the two of you by email, so you can let her know if you have any ideas in mind, but also any skin sensitivity.

She will do your makeup and hair right before your boudoir shoot, at the same location as your photoshoot.

The real fun begins

This is the moment you have been dreaming of… and also our favourite part: the boudoir shoot!

The photo session is done at our beautiful Parisian-inspired studio located in the Junction, Toronto. We have 4 different rooms, and you can access all of them for your shoot:

• The Day Lounge (airy, feminine, and bright);

• The Night Lounge (moody, cocktail vibe, green and gold tones);

• The Sejour (warm and cozy atmosphere); and

• The Patio (Provence theme with a wisteria tree).

Your boudoir shoot will last up to 2 hours and during that time you will have fun, let loose, and pose like the badass and confident person you are. After the session, you will feel like you can do anything!

Once your makeup is done, we go over the clothes and accessories you brought (which will probably be in a big suitcase 😉), to select the outfits that are the most important for you (we usually have time to do around 5 different ones).

We also guide you and pose during the entire session, so you do not have to worry about the fact you either never posed before or don’t know what to do. But you are very welcomed to let us know about specific poses or ideas you might want to try!

Boudoir photography allows you to highlights all your personalities, and you can really have fun with your outfits and props during your shoot. We love to create different vibes depending on your outfits, so it is very likely we would jump from a cozy atmosphere to a more badass one!

When do I see my pictures?

It has been two weeks since your shoot, the time for your reveal session has arrived. You might ask yourself:

“A what? “

This is the part of the process in which we show you your photographs, and you can purchase the ones you like best. See it as the big reveal! The moment when we show you how well you posed during your shoot and how confident you look. We usually meet back at our studio, over pastries, coffee, and tea. But we can also organize a Zoom meeting to share our screen with you if you don’t have the time to meet in person.

Photos & Prints

All of our photo packages are digitally-based, delivered in high resolution (meaning you can print them the size of your wall if you want to 🔥), without watermark, and delivered via an online private gallery.

If you are like us and enjoy being able to see your pictures on paper, we work with a wonderful professional and private printer who provides high quality prints and albums.

And after?

You did your shoot and got your beautiful images, so it would be normal to think that you are done with us. But it does not have to be like that! You can of course decide to live your life and forget about Scandaleuse, or you can do what most of our clients do:

Stay in touch and be part of our community full of badass, strong, and powerful Scandals!

By following us on Instagram, or signing up to our newsletter, you can keep an eye on our events, special shoots, deals, or other projects our community can participate to!

Boudoir is so much more than pretty pictures. It pushes you to go after what you want in life, and makes you feel empowered. Why?

Because once you strip down in front of two strangers, nothing can stop you 🤩

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You are always worthy of respect

Disclaimer: we will be chatting about being true to who you are and standing up for yourself in this post. Needless to say, we are not referring to any behaviours involving harming yourself or other people.

Respect is a must to give, but also to receive!

Why do people lose respect for others to begin with?

Because they don't share the same values or standards. Of course, if we are talking about racism, slut-shaming, sexism and everything else falling into the hatred & discrimation category, this is a different topic. This time, we are referring to choices that YOU make for YOUR own well-being that don't necessarily get "approval" from others. Maybe for certain people, the fact that you practice a certain sport for example can be a reason to lose respect (any pole-dancers out there? Why mess with someone who can bend around a piece of metal to begin with?!) 

But here is the thing: those indicators that people use to judge you are actually not about you per se, they are about them. They are created by their own conditioning, insecurities, past experiences and so on.

So you might as well take a step back and not let it affect you as much because…

Not everyone is going to like you, so you might as well do you!

That can be a tough pill to swallow (yep, for us too): not everyone likes you. Even if you didn't do anything to them. 

Instead of trying to bend over backwards to please everyone, it is much better to surround yourself with people who support you and share the similar values you have. You will be much happier around them, you will build stronger connections, but most importantly, you will feel like yourself.

Embracing who you are is a must for your own happiness. You don't have the energy, room, or time, for people who disrespect you for being you. No one else but YOU is eligible to judge your choices and decisions. 

Don’t let people make you feel like your are worthless!

Your hobbies, education, sexual preferences, or any choices you make related to your appearance, you name it, should NOT affect your credibility.

We often hide or dismiss some aspects of our personalities in order to "fit in". We see it constantly in our industry since we photograph people in a way that can be seen "provocative" by (narrow-minded) traditional minds. Most of our clients are looking to regain confidence and want to feel sexy in their own skin. And some of them want to share their photos with the world as a way to stand up for themselves loud and clear.  Yet, a good 50% don’t dare to do so due to the fear of losing credibility with the people they love and appearing less professional with people from their work if they happen to see the photographs of their shoot.

Don't get us wrong, if you wish to keep your pictures (or any projects) just to yourself because it's part of your own journey, that's totally cool. But if you stop yourself from showing your photographs because you are afraid of what people would say, then you need to realize that you are not the problem. The people judging you are. 

We are strong believers that, if someone is trying to make you feel small and if you just don't give it any attention, try to defend or dismiss it, the "judger" will feel so damn ridiculous that they will end up giving themselves a taste of their own medicine. 

To give you an example, since we use ourselves for our boudoir advertising, we have heard some snarky comments about how "we are just posing naked online". By just saying "yeah, so what? I think I look damn good too!", we remove any possibility for a judgmental response.

You cannot shame someone who is confident in their choices. You cannot affect someone with your judgement if they don’t allowing it. Confidence is truly a super power my friends!

No one can fit in just one box and that is pretty neat! 

Back in the day, even maybe a decade ago, we were supposed to fit nicely in one category and stay in it. Nowadays, people can be so many things at once and it's such a great time to be alive. Thanks to this, we are removing pressure, and changing our standards and expectations.

We are even changing the definition of power by making it about standing up for ourselves and being open about it. We are kicking the stigmas back to oblivion.

Would it shock you if your lawyer had a passion for making macarons? No. What if your dentist was fond of doing trapeze? Would it change their qualifications? No. If anything, it would make them more approachable.

Embrace your unique-self and make your own contribution by being proud of who you are and what you do. It will serve those coming after you.

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The real motive behind Boudoir Photography

Ah. Pretty boudoir photos. Well that’s nice. You get them done and forget about them within a couple of months right? What if we told you that it’s actually false? Indeed, there are many benefits in boudoir photography, but one that we tend to forget is that it is just a perfect occasion to simply pause your busy life and take time to yourself.

(Disclaimer: we are going to focus on women because – well - that is what we are, but the following does apply to anybody.)

Everything and everyone else comes first.

If you are a caring human being, chances are your own well-being is not #1 on your priority list. Your family, your kid, your partner, your business, your problems, you name it, probably are. Congratulations, you are a decent person and we need more people like you!

However, it doesn’t mean your own self-care should be forgotten. After all, you do read it on Instagram every day, with a perfect woman doing an incredible yoga pose at sunset hashtagging #NamasteBitches

And this perfect lady isn’t totally wrong. The reality is that, by putting people or things before you every day, all the time, chances of you burning out will be real. You will end up walking around with a little rain cloud over your head, wondering who you are, what the meaning of life is and how the hell you get out of this.

We can assure you that you’re gonna have one day during which you will feel the urge to slam doors as hard as you can because you’re not supposed to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders but you are trying anyway.

Why is this bad for you? Because you need to be at peace with yourself to basically function and do great things. How can you if you don’t take time to…. take time?

Why are so many women struggling with this to begin with?

Simple answer: we are naturally nurturing. But most importantly, we are expected to be (you know, the ability to be mothers and also the fact that we actually give a crap about what’s around us and all that). You are expected to be relied on and quite frankly, chances are you will be considered selfish if you dared announcing loud and clear “screw it, it’s me time today!”. How dare you, since your primary function is to take care of someone?

So, what do we do? We restrain ourselves from doing what we really want to do. It doesn’t have to be something big like moving to Argentina but even little pleasures in life that could do us some good.

Do we even deserve to do this?

Of course, even when we decide to finally splurge and something for ourselves, it doesn't always come easy. A little demon often sneaks in our brains and tell you "how dare you?! This is not for you.”

Women constantly undervalue themselves and it is a sad but true fact. On top of taking care of people and their things, we also think that we are not worth less than anybody else. Probably because we are constantly reminded that we can always do more. So why would we reward ourselves with some “me-time” to begin with?

If you think this way, this is the moment when you take a seat, grab the tea we’re giving you, look at us right in the eye while we tell you “you are doing the best you can, you are awesome and you deserve a break.”

What does our boudoir work have to do with any of this?

Boudoir isn't just about creating gorgeous art with your sexy self. It's a whole experience. It’s a safe space in which you can let go, think about you, and more importantly: reconnect with yourself.

For a short amount of time in your busy schedule, you are a priority. You can be your true self without hiding behind anything and even better: without being judged.

By embracing your vulnerability and turning it into a strength, you will be able to grow (or rediscover) your confidence. And then what?

You make a powerful tool out of it and use it in your everyday life.

Not only will you feel stronger and become a better partner, friend, mother, but you will trust yourself a lot more to make bigger and scarier decisions. It will be easier for you to take on new challenges and succeed at them. All of this coming from a simple photoshoot out of your comfort zone.

Don’t underestimate the power of taking time to yourself. We all need to disconnect from our “duties” and reconnect with ourselves. And boudoir is a pretty neat way to do it.

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6 reasons why men should do a dudeoir shoot

Raise your hand if the idea of trying a dudeoir shoot is appealing but you are not sure why you would do a shoot 🙋‍♂️. Well keep reading because this blog is definitively for you!

Wait, boudoir photography is only for women no?

First of all let's demystify boudoir photography and the fact a lot of people believe it is only for women. To make it simple a boudoir shoot is an indoors or outdoors photography session, in which you show more skin than in a regular photoshoot. It can be done in lingerie, or any outfit truly, as long as you show some skin. But wearing only a piece a fabric, or nothing at all is also an option.

You do not need to have any modelling experience, neither be of a certain age, body shape, or gender, in order to try boudoir photography. The only thing you need is your handsome-self (and talented photographers - AKA us 😉).

Is dudeoir photography different than boudoir?

Nope. The term dudeoir was invented so men can relate more to this type of photography by being less afraid to end up with pictures of themselves that could potential be too feminine for their taste. But the goal stays the same:

Feeling empowered and sexy!

It is not because this industry showcases mostly women that you cannot do a boudoir shoot as a man. Either you want very masculine and moody pictures of yourself to highlight your virility, or want a shoot that is more airy to show your softer side, your session should be done the way you want, for whatever reasons you have.

Speaking of reasons…

Since boudoir photography isn’t common for men, most of them held back from doing a shoot because they don't know why they would even give it a try.

But here are a few reasons:

• Accept and appreciate your body the way it is

Media put so much pressure on people with all the “beauty standards” that having a clouded vision of our body doesn't only happen to women, it is universal! Most of us wish parts of our body could be different:

“I wish I could be more muscular, thinner, taller, have more boobs, a bigger weenie,…”

The truth is that we should be able to love the way we look naturally instead of wanted to be different. When you learn to accept your body the way it is, you stop comparing yourself to others and start building a stronger confidence.

• Boost your confidence

Speaking of confidence :)… A boudoir shoot is a challenge by itself. It can make you feel vulnerable and pushes you out of your comfort zone. But this is good as it helps you grow and develop that confidence we all need.

Can you guess why it is important to be confident?

It gives you the strength to go through life challenges and make the world your oyster… Not bad right!

We like to say that once you strip down in front of two strangers, nothing else in life can stop you ;)

• Celebrate yourself

This is probably the first reason that pushes most of our clients to do or redo a boudoir shoot.

We all need to celebrate our awesome-selves. Every little or big victories, body transformations (new hairstyle, tattoos,…), and even birthdays. Basically anything that makes us happy in our everyday life.

Be your own cheerleader and treat yourself with unique experiences!

• Push the boundaries regarding your masculinity and femininity

Yes you read that right! Every single human being has both a feminine and masculine side. Not a lot of men dare to tap into their femininity but your feminine side is a huge asset in your life. It keeps you grounded and helps you simply enjoy what is around you. You become more aware of what all of your senses are picking up, which helps you develop new perspectives and your creativity.

• Bring down the pressure around men.

The pressure around men is quite insane: “Don’t cry! Be strong! Suck it up! Don't be girly!…” If you guys dare to show a bit of sensitivity, you are right away put in the “weak” category.

You have the right to be whatever and whoever you want. But in order to change mentalities, like women, you have to stand up and fight! You have to be willing to tap and show your sensitivity, to make it normal.

By allowing yourself to be more vulnerable and not being afraid to show emotions (rather than always trying to be strong all the time), you will slowly but surely remove some clichés attributed to men.

You won't be only be doing yourself a favour, you will do one for your fellas too.

• A gift for your partner

Even if a boudoir shoot should always be done for yourself first, using it as a gift for your partner is always a cool extra bonus, and a great way to spice your relationship up. I mean who wouldn't be amazingly surprised to see sexy pictures of their lover, fiancé, or spouse?!

Now that you read all the reasons for doing a dudeoir shoot, what are you waiting for to book your shoot 😉 You can find here the details about our sessions for men!

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What "self-care" really is.

For the past couple of years or so, “self-care” has been popping up everywhere you look, at all times. It's around so much that it's become some sort of trend and we don't even know what it actually means anymore because everyone has different definitions. Since we are big advocates of what we call “true” self-care, this is our contribution.

If we really think about it, we have "care" in "self-care".
Let's have a look at its standard definition:

"The provision of what is necessary for the health, welfare, maintenance, and protection of someone or something."

Meaning that self-care is You providing You the tools you need to function in a healthy, safe and grounded way. Physically, mentally, it pretty much applies to anything you deal with in your life.

Are we all good so far? Good.

Treating yourself is different than caring for yourself

Oh boy is it easy to mix them up. The biggest difference is as follows:

Treating yourself relies on instinct.

It is usually a quick & easy fix to feel good in a very specific moment and it fades fairly fast. Moreover, treating yourself is not always good for you. Like indulging into drinking that whole bottle of wine to yourself or eating that enormous bag of cheetos watching Gilmore Girls. Feels good in the moment, but afterwards, not so much.

Self-care requires more work but comes with long-term effects. You are simply setting yourself up for a better version of You. 

And to tell you the truth, self-care doesn't always feel good at first. It's like going to the gym for someone that never worked out before. At first, you hate it. It challenges you, makes you feel sore and out of your comfort zone. But stick to it for a while and only then you will get the benefits that leads to actual self-care. 

Self-care takes time because you need a while to build a habit that will result in a positive outcome for You. Again "care" = protected, maintained and healthy. And that doesn't come easy in a world where we are constantly stimulated and influenced in a zillion directions.

So to make it simple: treating yourself is a punctual feel-good relief VS self-care is a long-term process to set yourself up for a better You

The other thing that we have also noticed is that the words "self-care" have been thrown around so much in ads, online & prints, that it has now been used as an excuse. You don't feel like doing something? Slap the "self-care'' label on it and don't do it. We are all guilty of that. If you don't want to stick to your work-out routine, fine, but what about when other people are involved? 

Inconsideration is not too far from nowadays' "self-care" definition.

Let's say you are planning something for weeks. You're taking care of everything and invited a bunch of your friends you really want to spend time with, who RSVP-ed. I bet you that at least 2 people will not show up last minute because "they don't feel it anymore" or worse "something else came up" (= something else that it turns out they would rather do, we are obviously not talking about an emergency situation here.). Some may not even tell you and just not show up. Lovely. 

Prioritizing yourself in one thing. And we know you need to do it for your own sanity and well-being. But from the moment it removes accountability or reliability, it is not self-care, it's just you being a dick.

And guess what? You do need a good circle of real friends and family to grow, be inspired, to evolve in general.

Nurturing relationships and being respectful to others is part of self-care too. It is another way to set yourself up for a better future because you will be surrounded by love. Wow the virtuous cycle. 

Everyone's purpose is to feel in harmony with ourselves and self-care is the ultimate way to make it there. Is it an easy path? Nope. Is it worth it? Undoubtedly yes. For you because you will accomplish your dream goals, but also for others, because once you really get in touch with yourself, you also help your surroundings get there too. And that's how the world changes for the best. Now take care.

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Do you think you see your body the way it really is?

Before we begin, a little disclaimer: the following post is based on our own experiences & feelings. This does not substitute professional medical advice or consultations with healthcare professionals.

Have you ever found yourself too fat or too thin out of the blue? Have you ever been deeply challenged by your reflection in the mirror? Have you ever felt oh-so-certain that you have body flaws despite hearing the opposite from loved ones?

If so, welcome to the world of body dysmorphia.

Body-dysmorphia, a big scary word we think never applies to us.

Body what now? The official definition of body-dysmorphia is as follow:

Body dysmorphic disorder (BDD), or body dysmorphia, is a mental health condition where a person spends a lot of time worrying about flaws in their appearance. These flaws are often unnoticeable to others.

-NHS

Now, if you are like me, you hear “disorder” and you think “well that's not me, I'm not sick or whatever". The minute we slap medical terms on it, it becomes surreal and scary, but let us rephrase that definition:

Body-dysmorphia is when you don't see your body the way it actually is despite being convinced it is a certain way.

The most common example, and the one I personally deal with, is seeing yourself bigger than you actually are.

There are different levels of BDD. For some of us, myself included, we can still live our lives properly. For others, it becomes an obsession that can lead to eating disorders, social isolation and so on.

So, how does body-dysmorphia actually show?

BDD usually shows itself when we become teenagers. Our bodies change fairly quickly, plus, we are leaving our childhood where we pretty much didn't give a crap about our appearance and suddenly, it seems to define us.

Our brain is having a hard time processing this and we are left pointing out everything we think is wrong with us. Except for many of us, it doesn't stop there and we carry it until our adulthood.

Here are of the common ways BDD shows its ugly head:

• Checking yourself in the mirror, repeatedly, focusing on your “flaws”;

• Feeling certain that said flaws make you ugly or even deformed;

• Being convinced that you lost/put on weight based on no concrete proofs whatsoever;

• Trying to “fix” said flaws by over exercising, and often adjusting diet;

• Strongly believing that your flaws are only what other people see;

• Attempting to hide perceived flaws with styling, makeup or clothes;

• Constantly comparing your appearance with others;

• Frequently seeking reassurance about your appearance from others;

• Avoiding social gatherings;

• Feeling completely down for the whole day or more because of your appearance…

The list goes on and on. I don't know about you, but I can safely say that I have experienced over half this list.

What happens to me when the body-dysmorphia monster is knocking on my door and how I deal with it:

I am in my 30’s and I still involuntarily carry the BD monster in my back pocket. I don’t think it will ever go away. BUT, thanks to my experience and my work, I manage to considerably shorten its stays. My BD monster is weight related: I feel like I am bigger than usual especially around my waist.

Usually, it happens when I am off my eating and exercising routine for a week. If I didn’t prioritize my workouts sessions, and ate like crap, I can guarantee you that I am going to think I put on weight and it is going to make me feel guilty and shitty.

My remedy? Giving myself a severe reality check.

Sometimes, you need to give your head a shake.

1) I gather objective facts about why I would be feeling this way.

Like I said, it could be because I didn’t stick to my routine but it can also be because I am about to start my period and I feel bloated or I haven’t slept well for a while and/or I’m stressed. This really helps to remind myself that the vision I have of my body is very likely inaccurate because my mind doesn’t have the good fuel I usually give it.

2) I remind myself that it is physically impossible to have drastic body change in one week.

You’re not going to put on or lose 10 pounds in a week. Biologically, weight changes take a lot longer to show. Your body is smart and if you take a negative turn on your eating habits, it won’t show for a little while.

3) I remind myself that my body is doing its thing during the day and that it is normal if it looks different.

This one is for those who, like me, wish for a constant flat stomach. It’s a myth. Our bodies digest, they bloat, they eliminate. I’m actually pretty damn lucky it does all of that for me. Side note: our lower abdomen as a little cushion because it is protecting our uterus. When you see it like this, typing “how to lose lower belly fat” on Google makes a lot less sense.

4) I remind myself that I have felt this way in the past and have been very wrong.

The first time I realized I had a BD monster was when I looked at photos of my teenaged years, when I felt incredibly fat and I obviously wasn’t. It is usually enough to tell myself that there is a good chance I could be doing the exact same thing right now.

5) I let go of the guilt

Scheduling more workouts and diet change is very common for me as an attempt to “right my wrongs”. When I catch myself doing this, I sit my ass down and remember that, hey, I don’t work out to lose weight, I work out because it makes me feel good. And yeah, maybe I went a bit overboard food wise, but I needed it at the time and it also came with good memories with my loved ones.

So fuck it.
Yes, F U C K I T.
I did nothing wrong, there is nothing to fix, all I need to go back to what feels good and I will. and so will you.

I truly hope that reading this will help you feel less alone and give you some tools to kick your Body-Dysmorphia monster in the balls. We have written additional tips here, in case you need some. .

Here are some helpful books if you are looking to do some digging and heal yourself: The Broken Mirror by Katharine Phillips & Shattered Image by Brian Cuban.

If you feel overwhelmed, don’t hesitate to ask for help and find a therapist to guide you through it all. You don’t have to do this alone

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What does "empowerment" even mean?

Haaa “Empowerment”. THE buzzword we've seen everywhere for the past few years. “Women empowering women”, “empower yourself” , “get empowered”… It is such a pretty word with such a badass connotation. Yet, many of us aren’t even sure of what it actually means. Let's dive in, shall we?

First of, let's get the actual definition:

“Empowerment is the authority or power given to someone to do something."
- Oxford Dictionary

That something being positive for yourself and others. Whether it is a new dream, a new goal, a new creation of some sort…

But wait, does this means that to get empowered, it has to come from somewhere else other than yourself? Theoratically, yes.

First, well, that's why we are here. 😉
Second, yes, you can be empowered by someone else, and yourself can empower someone.

While, technically, you don't need permission, validation, or encouragement to do anything for yourself, many of us feel that need. This is very often labelled as negative. And it could be, if everything you want to do depends on it.

But if not, so what if you need an extra boost from a loved one to make a jump towards something you’ve been wanting to do?

We all need outside support and it would be a shame to deny ourselves this option. If you have someone who has your best interest at heart, willing to empower you, at least, give it a listen. As we talked about in our post about the important of the female collective, we can only go so far alone. Especially considering how great empowerment feels.

How does it feel to be empowered?

To sum it up, it feels like you've received a huge boost of confidence and that you can move mountains likes they're grains of salt.

You feel like yourself, ready to tackle the world, bring your dreams to reality and you usually take more people along with you.

It is a beautiful feeling and you must have felt it one way or another at least once. Maybe when you achieved a goal you didn't think you could, or maybe when you caught your reflection in the mirror and went “damn, I look good!”. Take a moment to think about the last time you felt it, even if it was just a little spark.

💡 When was the last time you felt empowered?

Now, how do you get more of this? Does that mean you need to harass your loved ones so they can turn the switch on?

Well, good news, you don't have to!

Can I empower myself?

Absolutely. Self-empowerment is actually a must in order to build yourself and live your life the way you want. You can take charge of your own path and develop that rock solid confidence.

Your self-empowerment starter pack:

1) Remind yourself you know what is best for you.

At the end of the day, you are the person you spent the most time with and you know yourself better than anyone. If you are going through a moment of self-doubt and are getting lost in outside noise, take a breather and ask yourself what it is that you really want.

2) Learn to read between the lines of judgement.

Judgement is the worst obstacle to change. If we dare to share an idea with someone and that person go against it more or less subtlely, there is a good chance we would back out of it. Before you do, ask yourself if it is actually about you, or if that person is projecting their own insecurity on you. (Spoiler alert, in 99.9% of the time, that is what's going on when someone is judging you.)

3) Find your support system

You don't have a supportive family, friends or partners? Good news, there are other circles that can provide the support you need on many levels. (Ahem, again, us being one of them). Quick reminder while we are at it, just because some people are family doesn't mean they can't be toxic. Just leaving that here.

4) Empower someone else

This is the nicest snowball effect: when you do the empowering for someone, you will receive some back and/or will get inspired to take actions yourself. Really, try it.

5) Give yourself permission.

Create little moments for yourself when you let your mind go wild. No expectations, no money or skill issues, nobody stopping you. Think outside the box, day dream, meditate, journal, see what comes out. You could be surprised by how reachable some of those ideas can be.

There you have it. Now you can honestly say what empowerment is when you mention it and you know how to start digging to get your dose!

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Sensuality 101

Let's get liberated today!

Sensuality can be a scary topic for some people as it is common to believe it is only related to sex, and usually used as a weapon for seduction. Even if both are connected (when you learn to develop your sensuality, you learn to be in touch with your body the way it is, which opens up your sexuality), sensuality is also so much more than sex.

It is the ability to feel deeply connected to all our senses, and experience life in a more beautiful and energetic way.

It is time to demystify sensuality

If you Google it, you will read the common definition of sensuality is:

The enjoyment, expression, or pursuit of physical, especially sexual, pleasure.

But sensuality is also defined as the ability to feel in touch with our touch, smell, sight, hearing, taste and any extrasensory perceptions beyond our five commonly recognized senses.

If sensuality is often interpreted as sexuality, it is because of that one thing they have in common. PLEASURE. What can be more difficult to understand is this notion of pleasure: some things can give you sexual pleasure and others can be pleasurable without sexual desire.

Sensuality can increase your sexual behaviour but can also be about enjoying simple pleasures, such as watching a sunset, flavourful food, a massage, a perfume or any particular smell, a yoga pose, feeling the sun on your skin… Anything that makes you feel great in the moment but isn't related to sex.

You gotta embrace it!

As women we heard it all:

“Be polite. Dress up properly. Be a good girl!".

Most of us have been told to never be too loud because people will think we are hysterical. We have been told to not take too much room otherwise we are just showing off. Neither to show too much skin because we are whores if we do. So we cover ourselves up, forget how to be in touch with our femininity and let our true essence disappears. And for what? Because we feel like we have to please others all the time, and are afraid of people's judgment.

Not loving our whole-self enough leads to frustration, jealousy and sadness. How can we expect to be happy and live the life we want, when we are filled with all those negative feelings?

Learning to embrace sensuality (btw, we are all sensual beings!) is a way to start feeling in harmony with our body, which increases our self-confidence and trust in others. And since sensuality is connected to all of our senses, it also develops our creativity, imagination and intuition. Not that bad hey!

Sensuality = Femininity

It doesn't matter what we identify to, we all have a feminine and masculine side. Sensuality is a powerful tool to dig deeper into your feminine energy. If you feel like you are more in touch with your masculinity, exploring your sensuality will help you understand and bring back more of your feminine side into your life.

It is very easy to do! You will read below that there are many ways to embrace your sensuality, all you need is to keep an open mind about experiencing life.

Different ways to explore sensuality

When at peace with your whole-self, you are less likely to feel stressed in your every day life. You also don't feel the need of external validation: what people can think of you does not matter anymore. It creates a new level of self-love and confidence.

As said before, there many possibilities to experience sensuality:

• Movement:

  Can be some yoga, stretching, dance, a walk in nature,… Moving your body every day is amazing for so many aspects of your life, one of them being sensuality. When you move, you have to be aware of every inches of your body. Every muscles, and nerfs get activated, which makes you feel more in touch with yourself. It also allows you put all your energy around your hips which makes you feel so powerful and sexy.

• Food:

  Big foodies here! We are both from France, so let us tell you that you how much food means to us. France has a fabulous culinary reputation and it is for a reason: french cuisine is all about flavours and smells, forget about salt and sugar, we are talking about explosion of aromas. We learnt to educate our palate, so when we try exquisite food, it can feel like non-sexual orgasms.

• Clothing:

  Every shapes, colours, and textures you choose to wear can tell a lot about who you are, and what you enjoy in life. Clothes are a powerful tool for confidence and sensuality, it is like wearing a second skin. When you were pieces that make you feel good about your body, or the way you look, you unlock your emotions and allow yourself to be who you want to be.

• Nature:

  Our world is a beautiful place and need to be cherished. Next time you go outside, be aware of everything around you: the sounds, colours, shades of lighting, movement created by the wind, smells, feel the sun on your skin… Feel the energy of Life. How does it make you feel?

• Boudoir photography:

  Can you think of a more powerful way to develop your sensuality than boudoir photography? Having (pardon our french) the balls or vulva to show vulnerability by posing half naked in front of two strangers (AKA us), and still feel badass and empowered, is pretty impressive!

Now you just have to go for it!

“I never thought that sex was wrong, sinful, dirty. When you take away the thought of things being dirty or forbidden, then you can really enjoy your sensuality.” Gioconda Belli

Sensuality as a way to experience a deep peace within yourself, to feel alive and fulfill. When you embrace it, it makes you feel like you can do anything.

The world become your oyster.

And guess what?! When you feel like you can do anything, you actually start doing stuff that make you happy and 100% yourself. It is like a magical kick in the bum!

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Sharing your boudoir pictures, yes or no?

Boudoir photography is still not well known, and a lot of people don't even know why they would do a boudoir shoot to begin with. For some of those who took the decision to do it (welcome to this beautiful world 😀), the idea of sharing their pictures with other people makes them feel very uncomfortable.

We also have met people who wanted to do a shoot but decided not to because they thought they would have to share their pictures online.

Let's demystify together everything around privacy in the boudoir world.

via GIPHY

The choice is yours!

You AND ONLY YOU can decide if you want to keep your pictures private or not.

Boudoir photography can makes you feel vulnerable so you don't need to feel pressured by the photographer, your loved ones, or anyone one else, to share your pictures with the rest of the world.

When you have chosen your photographer make sure to sign a contract or a release option that says you want your pictures to stay private.

Like we said, the choice is yours, so do not let that fear of privacy stoping you from having a boudoir shoot done.

Why most people refuse to post their pictures online?

Well, most of the time it comes back to the fear of being judged. We still give too much importance to what others think of us and we easily let their judgment dictates our actions.

Part of those judgment comes from:

• Their Job:

  They are afraid to not be taken seriously if their coworkers were to see them in lingerie, especially women.

• Old Beliefs:

  A lot of people still believe nudity is shameful. A lot of women feel the need to cover up because they were told that showing too much skin is not proper or will make them looks like “whores” (ugh we hate that so much 😡)

• Social Media Haters:

  Words can be painful and some people are very sensitive to mean comments on social media. They are afraid to be harshly judged for their body, or even the act of posting pictures of them in lingerie.

There is also the fear of not knowing what their pictures will be used for, if the photographer were to share them. Once again, this can be specified in a contract between you and your photographer.

What we think as professionals and women

Even if we understand why privacy is really important for some people, we always suggest to not be afraid to post your pictures online. You will be surprised in a great way. Here is why:

• Inspire Other People

This is the first thing that will happen. If you post your boudoir pictures online (or any other experience you try that are a bit more “scandalous”) you will motivate people around you to do the same. We have so many past clients who came to us because their friends did a boudoir shoot. They were so proud to see the pictures and loved to hear the boudoir story that they wanted to do the same.

EACH OF OUR CLIENTS INSPIRED ANOTHER ONE, WE ARE IN A SENSE ALL CONNECTED BY THE LOVE OF BOUDOIR PHOTOGRAPHY. HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE SOMEONE'S MUSE?! 

• Boost Of Confidence

Sharing your pictures on social media can seem superficial but it is actually a great way to boost your confidence. We usually forget that the way we see ourselves is different than the way others see us. It is not because you judge yourself badly than others do. Honestly the chances are you will get amazing feedback from your loved on those pictures (not that you need approval from people but it always feels good to get compliments on either the way we look or the fact we did a boudoir shoot).

And true fact, none of our Scandals ever got negative feedback.

There is also the fact that when you dare doing something you were afraid of (or that not a lot of people do) and you get compliments from it, your confidence grows.

It makes you feel powerful, free, and you just want to keep getting out of your comfort zone to achieve even more.

• More Scandals For Our Portfolio

We love sharing our work with our community because this is how we inspire people to do a shoot for themselves. We need examples to showcase the beautiful people we took pictures of, and make people understand they don't need to be a certain age, body type, or gender to try boudoir photography.

To conclude: sharing or not your pictures is a personal decision. You can absolutely keep them 100% private, but if you decide to post them online do not feel ashamed, ever! Just do what makes you feel comfortable in the moment, you can always change your mind later 😘

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4 simple ways to be yourself

“You just have to be yourself and everything will be ok!” they say, but what the heck does it mean?

This is the big question we asked some of the people from our community and we have to say, we got fantastic answers:

- “Don’t care about what other people think of you and what you do. Only you can decide what you want to be.”

- “Being happy with who you are.”

- “Being comfortable with every aspect of yourself (physical, emotional, mental).”

- “Owning everything, little thing that makes you YOU by doing it unapologetically.”

Be UNAPOLOGETICALLY you, we got a pretty amazing definition here! But how do you reach to this state of self-acceptance?

1 - Understand your qualities and flaws

You need to figure out who you are in order to be yourself… Yeah we know it sounds obvious but think about it for a minute:

What makes you, YOU? Who are you as a person and with others?

We all are a combination of "good and bad” traits that mostly defines our personality: Are you funny? Selfish? Kind?… With your own terms, what are your characteristics?

Listing your qualities and flaws is a good way to understand how you function, evaluate yourself and manage your emotions, so you can change the way you react to them when they are triggered by an event or a person. Once you understood and welcomed those parts of you, it gets easier to align your behaviour with your values, without letting other people's opinions impacted it.

Little side note: remember that qualities and flaws, like art, are an abstract concept. They are defined by how people see you, what they think is proper or not, and the life situations you are in. Some people might be annoyed by some of your qualities, where others might appreciate your flaws. For example your kindness could trigger people who are not used to receive love or help, they might get frightened and not trust your good intentions.

Never make yourself smaller because someone is telling you you are too loud, too proud, too ambitious…

2 - Focus on your growth

It is really easy to desire someone else’s life, especially with social media. Since it is unusual for people to share their struggles, we imagine they got it all figure it out. Your neighbour’s grass is always greener than yours right?!

We, humans, have the tendency to romanticize everything. We want this couple relationship, this person happiness. We wish to have their skills, their job, their personality, their freedom, and beauty. Because on paper everything look shinny, their life is perfect, they have it so easy… But that is not the reality! We ALL go through tough times. It is important to remember that!

So instead of wishing to be someone else, express your uniqueness:

1. Stop comparing yourself to others, you have your own strengths and weaknesses;

2. Improve what you are good at and have the desire to learn to open your mind up to new things;

3. If people around you are not happy with your lifestyle then it’s on them. Their opinion should not impact your life.

   Focus on what makes YOU happy.

3 - Accept to change

A lot of people lose themselves because they are too afraid to change their life to go after what they want. They end up feeling frustrated, angry, and sad. But it is part of life, we all changed! You are not the same person as you were 5 years ago, and the future you will also be different than who you are now.

Both Juliette and I want to make big changes in our personal life. We both have that urge to buy our own property closer to nature. And it is scary AF, it means getting rid of big money blocs. But we know that if we don’t work towards this “calling”, we will regret it.

Being true to ourselves is also about letting go of things that are no longer working for us (can be people, work, own beliefs,…) to make room to a more fulfilling life.

4 - Let your inner child run wild

Did you notice how free young kids are? They are their true essence because they haven't been conditioned to follow society's rules yet. They live in the moment and don't care about people's opinion. Isn't it something you wish you could have back sometimes? That innocence, that freedom?

As adults we can be pretty uptight, feeling we have to be serious most of the time because we have “responsibilities”. Feeling judge by others if we dare being a bit different. So we put the fun on the side and focus on our struggles and drama.

But what if instead we allow ourselves to be silly and enjoy the moment? Go jump on a trampoline, cartwheel in the grass, make silly faces at your reflection, dance in the rain… whatever makes you feel like a kid again!

Put the mask down and allow yourself to be the natural you!

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Once upon a time, Boudoir Photography...

Boudoir is the story of our life, Scandaleuse is our baby. Most of you have been following us for 5 years now. You’ve shared our successes and struggles, you've seen all of the beautiful Scandals who posed in front of our lenses, bref… you are part of this community! And if you are new here, welcome :)

But do you know how Boudoir was born and how scandalous & naughty it was?

No? Then follow us in our world…

Boudoir: The Origins (like superheroes!)

A Boudoir was a woman's private sitting room or salon in a furnished accommodation, in aristocratic families. It was a sign of femininity and social conformity as a woman.

Nobody will be surprised to read that the term derives from the French verb "Bouder" which means "to sulk". Long story short, it was a room dedicated for sulking in.  (allez la France, la révolution, et la baguette)

Thanks to the Marquis De Sade and his book “Philosophy in the Bedroom”, the Boudoirs turned into sulphurous and scandalous rooms, where women could speak privately. It was characterized in literary and cultural studies as erotic and as a metaphor of  womens' bodies.  Boudoir was generally understood as a site for secret pleasures and libertinage. A room where women could bring their lovers… Naughty you!!!

Side Note:  Boudoir is also a biscuit you eat with Champagne. Shhh, that’s how we like it...

BOUDOIR PHOTOGRAPHY : The early days

Over the years, Boudoir became a photography style and started celebrating the beauty, femininity and freedom of women. It has been featuring intimate, sensual, and sometimes erotic images of its subjects.

The nude or sexualized female form has been a theme of photography since as early as 1840 but it was in the 1920s that Boudoir photography began to take shape as an art form. Photographers, like Albert Arthur Allen, took images of women who posed in romantic ways against ornate backdrops or furniture.

But Boudoir photography was illegal in the 1920s (woman nudity was offensive and considered pornographic - What about now in 2022, mentalities did not change that much 😡) and photographers were often arrested or heavily fined for taking the photos.

But this didn't stop anyone

1930s and ‘40s, at the beginning of World War II the US government started using pin-up girls on their recruiting posters as propaganda to encourage young men to fight for the country. The military knew that sex sells and was using slogans like “She’s worth fighting for” or “Come home to your girl a hero” to encourage those men to go to war.

This move made the pin-up style one of the most famous form of boudoir which paved the way for modern boudoir by normalizing the female form in advertising.

1950s, the “pinup girls” became very famous in the Boudoir world. They wore nylons, stilettos and elegant elbow-length gloves. These girls even played with androgyny, wearing bow-ties and top hats along with their corsets and stockings.

By the 1970s, the female figure began being recognized as a significant form of sexual liberation and a new revolution in Boudoir. 

Unfortunately, much of society still had a difficult time acknowledging Boudoir as a tasteful genre, even if these photos were artistic and no way considered pornographic amongst the art world.

In the next few decades, Boudoir photography became very popular and broke free of women’s boundaries.

Now it is a symbol of freedom for women but also men and non-binary people. It's all about owning your body… the art of accepting and loving yourself!

More amazing content and cool blogs this way ⬇️

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5 hilarious sentences we say as boudoir photographers

We keep repeating it but we love being boudoir photographers! We meet freaking strong and badass people with different stories, it gives us the motivation to push ourselves and shoots are always a lot of fun. On top of that, boudoir gives us the opportunity to use our sense of humour to say unique sentences.

So for you and in exclusivity, here is the top 5 of the most unexpected sentences we have been saying since we opened Scandaleuse:

“Let's get naked”

Even if doing a boudoir shoot doesn't mean you have to go for full nudity, the goal of this type of photography is to show some skin (I mean everyone needs a picture of them fully naked, framed in their living room right?!). It can be intimidating at first to strip down in front of two strangers (AKA us… Hi!), especially if it is your first shoot.

But you will see that being brave enough to show some vulnerability will make your self-confidence skyrocks and you will leave your shoot feeling like you can conquer the world!

We all need a little push in life and we would not be professional photographers if we were not telling you when it is time to take your clothes off!

“Boobs up, shoulders down"

In photography, different criteria make a picture beautiful: the subject, the lighting, the environment around, the techniques and the story telling. But in boudoir, the subject is the most important because this type of photography highlight the beauty of the body. So we need to make sure we teach our clients the proper posture: the poses we make them do have to follow their personality and also their shape.

But if some poses are better on certain type of bodies and not others, there are some general guidance that works on everyone, such as:

• Bringing your chin up: nobody likes showing their double chin (that we all have by the way depending on how we place our head!) and it gets even worst when we get stuck with it because our chin was too low when the picture was taken. So next time you worry about this, don't hesitate to bring your chin a tad higher, but not too much, to not have this problem anymore.

• Straightening your back: round back and shoulders too forward… our era's problem! By looking a lot at our phones or computers (but also because we are totally ignoring the importance of a great posture), we end up destroying our backs. When you pose during a boudoir shoot (or any other portrait photography), having a round back is not flattering and does not show confidence. To fix this, all you have to do is straightening your back to make yourself taller. You will see that the picture will show a total different attitude and vibe.

• Bringing your boobies up and shoulders down: When we are nervous, shy, or not sure of what we are doing, our shoulders automatically go up toward our ears, which creates a lot of tension in the neck and back area. It makes breathing more difficult which can create anxiety. But if you open up your chest to the ceiling and bring your shoulders down, you will feel more relax.

• Pointing your toes: “frog feet” can really mess up a picture. Thinking of pointing your toes will make your legs look much longer and will add a delicate touch to the photograph.

“Touch yourself”

A boudoir shoot is the perfect opportunity to reconnect with your femininity and sensuality. But in order to do so, you cannot be afraid of your body. So we like to tell our clients to not hesitate to touch themselves. Not in a sexual way of course, but to not end up with “robot arms”. While posing, it is really important to know where to put your hands:

“Put your hands on your boobies” = beautiful and romantic topless pose for those we don't wanna show nipples.

“Cup your butt cheeks out” = perfect to make a booty a tad bigger while sitting and to give the illusion of a stronger back's arch.

And touch yourself because it feels so good give ourselves a nice hug from time to time ;)

“Give yourself a good wedgie!”

This one hurt a little, doesn’t it?!

We all have experienced one way or another at least once in our life wedgies (we can for sure say it is not pleasant at all!). Either someone pulled up your underwear has a kid, or you are used to them because you wear thong under tight pans (don’t get me starting on the awful frontal wedgie 😅). So why on earth would we ask our clients to give themselves a wedgie?

Well the answer is simple: pulling your underwear higher on your hips and butt when you pose for a boudoir shoot makes your legs looks longer, and your hips sensual AF! If you are sceptical about what you just read then stop reading, go in front of your mirror and give it a try. The result is mind blowing 🔥.

See, we told you so… after all we are the experts ;)

“It Smells like dick”

We receive quite a lot of inquiries from men who are looking to do a boudoir shoot (usually via phone calls, it seems like those gentlemen do not want any written proof). Most of the time they want to do more than boudoir, they want erotic or pornographic shoots and often expect us to be part of their fantasy (did we have to create a page with all the things WE DO NOT DO? Yes absolutely!). It usually start the same way:

• we receive a call from a man looking to get more info about our shoots.

• we tell that person we do not offer erotic photography. The person seems to understand and is, of course, never looking to do explicit sexual acts.

• we ask for his email and sent the info (including the page that describes in details our photographic limits). We also make sure one more time he understands we don't do porn: “Of course, I respect your limits ladies, it is absolutely not my intention to do more than boudoir!"

• So we ask more questions about the project, schedule a Zoom meeting to see the person and get acquainted.

This is usually when they reveal their true intention… Every time we can tell that they are not being honest (we like to say we can smell the dick from a distance hahaha). And we are right 98% (we had a few inquiries from amazing men who were actually looking to do artistic shoots for themselves)! Every time we dig deeper we find out they want us to be part of their sexual scenarios or we get the usual:

“Ok you don't want to take pictures of sexual acts, but what about a little bit of sex?”

We call those inquiries: “Just The Tip Please”.

Boudoir photography should always be a badass and empowering experience for anyone who is trying it. And the best way to get there, is to not take it too seriously to be able to relax and have fun. This is why we like to add a touch of humour during our sessions or even when we work just the two of us (our specialty? Dad jokes and ridiculous dance moves!).

Side note, we are super proud of this blog and we think we are funny ladies 😂

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Stop limiting yourself

If there is one truth in life, it is that we have all grown up following pre-selected ideas and standards. You, me, your parents, your friends, everyone, we have all been conditioned a certain way. While there is nothing wrong with that, it doesn't come only with positive or neutral outcomes, it also creates limiting beliefs.

If you think you don't have some, read the 5 main ones below and we can guarantee you will recognize yourself in at least one of them. The good news is that, if you are aware of them, you can start beating the crap out of them.

This blog post is based on an awesome French podcast. We have been implementing this topic with Scandaleuse since day 1 and this podcast sums it up beautifully.

What are limiting beliefs?

To make it simple, they are a kind of mental beliefs that defines how you act, make decisions, work, interact with people, even how to eat. You are 100% certain they are true and even, universal.

So far, it is pretty neutral.

Those turn into limiting beliefs the minute they become obstacles and are holding you back from reaching any goals you'd like, big or small.

Have you ever thought you couldn't or shouldn’t do something without an actual reason (aka: you will die if you do this or will deliberately hurt someone) ? Maybe out of fear or thinking it is not politically correct?

There you have it: you are facing your own limiting belief. The truth is: limiting beliefs are often based on a distorted and subjective reality.

The 5 big limiting behaviors:

1) Confusion:

You want to do everything and try anything and you are well aware of that. You have a lot of passions and interests and that's pretty great: you are just not afraid of taking on anything and a lot of people are blocked by the step from the get-go.

However, here is the trick: you don't stay in place long enough to persevere whatever you start. You end up switching tasks before being able to see actual results. This is often connected to impatience and short-term vision.

How to kick its butt:
Try to work on your patience and long-term vision: there are always positive outcomes out of a new activity, but you may not be able to see them right away. Trying setting deadlines away from the immediate future, aim for 6 months for example.

You are more than capable to create those results. Every single step counts and baby steps turn into a much bigger result if you stick to them.

2) Dissonance:

You want to start a new project, an idea, even a relationship but once you do it, you are gonna find an excuses and obstacles to stop it. You are mastering the self-sabotage.

This is connected to a lack of self-confidence and fear of disappointment and even pain.

Let's rip off the bandaid: you don't trust that you deserve something good and that shit will hit the fan no matter what, so you might as well step out and stay in your comfort-zone, even it it gets uncomfortable.

How to go all “FATALITY”on this:
It's going to be very interesting to try not to take anything personally and see every little obstacles that happen as challenges. Instead of seeing them as a sign to stop whatever it is you are doing, see them as lessons to learn so you can grow.

If you really look at it: your comfort zone has changed without you noticing anyway (you don't have the same routine as when you are 14 years-old right?) So there is no reason to stop your growth.

3) Lack of clarity

You have very vague objectives. This one is probably the biggest for me and I have been working on this. This is mostly connected to a fear of failure. You end up asking yourself why something is not working for you, while not setting yourself up for success.

How to “bye Felicia”-d it:
Instead of asking yourself WHY something isn't working, ask yourself HOW you can make this work for me?

Ask yourself the good questions, practice letting go of your fears of dreaming big and set strategies by having objectives you can measure, so you can see concrete progress.

4) Perfectionist

That's a pretty common one and I was also guilty of this before opening Scandaleuse. Starting a business has always been a dream of mine since I was little but I felt like needed to know everything and it needed to be perfect before even starting it.

I never felt ready enough and thought I needed to learn more constantly. How did I end up starting Scandaleuse with Fanny? Well the universe threw me a couple of really crappy bosses in the span of 3 years to force me out of the standard employee path and work for myself.

Of course, it is good to gather information and prepare, especially before starting a life-changing project but when it just ends up pushing back the start date, it's not doing you any good.

You're not gonna jump in the water without knowing how to swim a minimum. But you don't need an olympic medal in swimming before setting your toes in water.

This is connected to a fear of lacking competence (hello impostor syndrom) or even a fear of hurting people (eg: not leaving someone because it’s not the good time for them.)

How to kick it out of you (without waiting for terrible managers for years):
Understand that the perfect moment doesn't exist and you have to create it. Read that again. It's time to roll up your sleeves and tell yourself you are ready NOW.

5) People pleaser.

People's wishes are your command. You never really ask yourself what YOU want. You hate confrontations and conflicts, you don’t know how to stand up for yourself and set your boundaries.

This is a direct line to the need to feel loved and appreciated at the cost of your own identity. You want to feel needed and are terrified of other people's opinions about you.

How to go all “Kill Bill” on it:
Understand that it is not other people's opinions that are gonna hurt you, it is the stories you make up to yourself about those. People's judgement is not about you, it is about themselves.

Live according to your values. Not everyone is gonna agree with you, it is just impossible. By owning your opinions and values, you will attract people who share and respect them. And that is how you grow too because you start creating self-validation instead of needed it from others.

So now, which one are you?

Let us know if this blog inspires you to kick your limiting beliefs to the curb and how you plan to do so!

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