The following is a guest post by Katrin, from katrinwithlove.com and @vaginismus.sisters.
If life has inconveniently initiated you in any sort of sexual liberation journey, then we have a lot in common.
I personally experienced painful sex and the protective body response of vaginismus (rhymes with Christmas) – a bracing and tightening of my pelvic floor muscles that robbed me of pleasure-filled gifts for more than 6 years…
Whether your story was ridden in pain, shame, numbness or anywhere in between, you've probably read plenty about the vulva and vagina in the process of claiming your sexual freedom.
It’s true. The ancient sex wisdom of Taoism confirms the intricate connection between the genitals and optimal functions of other organs and glands in the body. Creating harmony in these sacred areas of your body really is important in relieving tension and support physical and emotional healing.
But what about the breasts?
What purpose do they serve in your complete body system for physical and emotional healing?
What role do they serve in increasing your libido if that's something that has subsided for one reason or another?
Many of us have grown up ashamed of our breasts. They may have been the reason we received unwanted and uncomfortable attention.. Or we may have regarded them as just a necessary part of our female anatomy (but nothing more than that).
I personally grew up having a fairly BLAH relationship with my breasts.
They were there and that's about it - if anything, I had a perception of what beautiful breasts should look like, and mine weren't quite them. So it's safe to say my relationship with my lady bumps was MEH at worst and "ooh they look great in a push up bra" at best!
Starting to pay loving attention to YOUR breasts is a crucial part of getting your libido back and finding success in your sexual liberation journey.
Emotionally and energetically, when you find unconditional love for your heart space and breasts, you can tap into that sense of self-love and inner confidence that may have been energetically laying dormant under your layers of shame and indifference.
Even still, a vulva owner's sexual turn on STARTS in the heart centre represented by the breasts, gets strengthened by the cooperation of the mind and only then is felt physically in the genitals.
So it becomes important to bring your heart-centred turn-on online!
How do you involve your beautiful breasts in a holistic approach to healing?
Physically, that looks like stimulating them gently through breast massage to enhance the health of your heart, blood, lymphatic and hormonal systems.
Awakening the life force of the body as a whole to create sexual aliveness and sex drive.
The Tao of Sexology - The Book of Infinite Wisdom by Dr. Stephen T. Chang confirms that:
"From foreplay to pregnancy to nursing, the breasts are closely tied to the genital system, through nervous impulses, hormones, etc.”
"The delicate intertwining of numerous capillaries, nerves, lactation glands, lymphatic vessels, and other delicate structures of the breast are easily damaged by improper handling.”
Any damage to breast tissue can lead to accumulations and blockages.
These can then lead to lumps or, possibly, cancer. (The breast is so delicate that caffeine can cause lumps and cysts to form inside the breast, as was shown in recent studies.) If this should ever happen, the entire female reproductive system would be torn out of balance.
Therefore, the sensitive and easily over-stimulated breasts must never be mishandled by the woman or her sexual partner. A woman's partner should never bite, suck, or pinch the breast. Contact should be limited to a very gentle caress or kiss.
Even though more intense handling of the breasts can be very pleasurable for certain people, Taoism states that, for optimal full body functionality, and especially reversing the damage that may have already been created in the breasts, a gentle approach is required...
Here is a simple and gentle breast massage ritual that you can engage in to create a loving relationship with your breasts...
…And to enjoy all the physical benefits that come with it!
Ensure your space is free of distractions and feels safe so you can fully surrender and relax.
Make your room nice and cozy in whichever way feels right to you and lie down comfortably with your shirt off.
Warm up your hands by rubbing them together to promote blood flow and circulation. Have some massage oil nearby if you'd like, but don't use it just yet.
Place your hands on your chest, fall into a comfortable rhythm breathing into your belly. With a loving intention, connect to your heart as your listen to your heartbeat.
With your fingertips or nails, slowly and delicately start moving up and down your breasts, avoiding the nipples. This stimulates sensation on and beneath the skin, essentially waking them up.
Now put some massage oil on your hands if you'd like.
Press down on your armpit and release 5 times. This helps open and generate healthy flow in the lymphatic system.
As you keep breathing and with one hand per breast, continue more thoroughly massaging the perimeter of the breasts. Then move to the full breasts and only then the nipples. Make sure you are applying some more pressure now so you are stimulating the deeper breast tissue along with the skin.
Using one or both hands, move back and forth between breasts, creating movement across the mid-meridians of your body. This helps balance both hemispheres of your brain and create union between your masculine and feminine energies.
As you are lightly and intuitively continue touching your breasts, remind them that they are worthy of receiving love and pleasure.
After about 15 minutes or when you feel complete, come into a relaxed position and be present with whatever feelings arise from doing this exercise. You did it!
What did you notice? Did any feelings of shame, discomfort, or even suppressed memories come up?
If so, that's totally normal. They may have been part of your life for many years. With each breast massage practice, you'll become closer to fully allowing yourself to release the discomfort and make space for unconditional love and acceptance. You may even realize...
May the love for your body in its entirety bring you peace and a conscious awareness that ALL of YOU is beautiful!
Helpful tools
You can perform your breast massage ritual with your hands, or you can also incorporate the use of tools like soft fabrics, feather toys or tools using the healing characteristics of some of Mother Earth’s natural elements – crystals.
If the crystal option piqued your interest, it’s encouraged that you pick a crystal intuitively simply by feeling which one you’re naturally drawn to most. Where each type of crystal has a unique energetic property and vibration and therefore a unique subtle impact on your own energy body.
The crystal I felt called to use in my breast massage practice was fire quartz.
I later learned that fire quartz calms anxieties and brings clarity. Like with rose quartz, its nature is that it subtly inspires self-acceptance feelings of greater calm and comfort.
In the journey of reconnecting to your authentic eroticism, this can be incredibly helpful in reconnecting to a state of mental peace with yourself and your body.
When I used the crystal in my breast massage practice, I really enjoyed its firmness and the smooth, rounded shape. It felt like an added luxury to the kind of touch I could create on my body.
And still, there is something special about using your own hands in varied forms of touch, as well as feeling that skin-to-skin contact and connection. To me, a combination of hands and tools provides that variety that I’ve learned I crave in life (in all sorts of ways).
In any case, the invitation is to introduce a breast massage practice into your self-care and self-pleasure practices in any ways that feels right to you!
Look for any subtle nudge that helps you feel the pleasure of sinking into a slow-paced and gentle experience, which of course can always naturally turn into a passionate and intense one..
Of course, the intention is that you feel that deep appreciation for a part of your body that you may have been disregarding for years.
Here’s to the love your breasts deserve!
- Katrin, with Love
The parts of you who desire a life based in liberation, love and leadership can find a home in Katrin’s world..
As a sexual liberation mentor who has overcome painful sex and continues to support women in releasing the protective body response of vaginismus, Katrin has a deep understanding of how survival strategies of the mind and subtle protective mechanisms of the body can sneakily keep you from feeling like the incredible woman you are!
Katrin believes that your power is born out of your deepest pain and that the Liberated & In Love Woman within you already has all the answers to guide you in your personal reclamation in the realms of sex, love, relationships and entrepreneurship.. She is here to love you as you re-discover your unique signature of play, pleasure and purpose. She gently calls you into your zone of genius and lifts you up as you bravely build your legacy from that place of aliveness and erotic overflow.
You can find her life’s work on her website katrinwithlove.com and on Instagram @katrin.with.love and @vaginismus.sisters