Have you ever asked someone why they are not moving towards one of their dream? Most of the time they will find a strong excuse to cover the fact, that deep down, they are too afraid to do it (maybe they are not even aware of it). Does it sounds familiar to you? Of course it does, we all do it!
It is unfortunately common to settle in a life that is not meant for us. Depending of where we grew up, our education, people we surround ourselves with and our life traumas, we all have deep fears that are stopping us from making our dreams a reality.
What is fear exactly?
If you check Wikipedia, you will read that fear is an emotion induced by perceived danger or threat, which causes physiological and ultimately behavioural changes, such as fleeing, hiding, or freezing from perceived traumatic events.
It is a fundamental and deeply wired reaction every species feel and is meant to protect organisms's integrity and/or existence. Fear may be as simple as an hissing cat, or as complex as existential anxiety for humans.
It is an important emotion because it makes us take actions to protect ourselves when we feel in danger, it also creates adrenaline rushes some people might need in order to “feel alive". But it can also negatively impact every decisions we take and stop us from experiencing unknown situations.
Are we born with fear?
Yes, but only two innate ones: the fear of loud noises and the fear of falling. It is in our genes to have those natural instinct to keep us from getting killed.
Of course the more we grow up and experience life, the more we start to develop other fears which are triggered by real threats from past or present events and traumas, but also from imagined dangers such as other people's experiences and the media.
The most common fears against success
There are plenty of fears and phobias but today we want to talk about the most common ones that are stopping us from being successful.
Failure:
We live in a society where failure as a bad reputation as we only celebrate victories and success but not the struggles along the way. Because of this shame to fail, many people will refuse to experience something new unless they are confident they can win. It is a vicious circle for procrastination as in order to not fail we avoid even trying.
Even though failing can have awful consequences, you can also learn a lot from it. You get emotionally stronger and have more courage to keep trying. It helps you grow by questioning your current path and the mistakes you have done so far.
Rejection:
Nobody likes to be rejected! We take it so personally when it happens because it makes us feel like fools, makes us believe there is something wrong with us and increase our frustration from not getting what we want.
Is it really worth to miss out on opportunities because you don't want to take the risk to have your ego bruised? At the end of the day, the worst thing that can happen is that you get a “No".
Change:
Even though changes are part of our lives as we live in a world that is in a constant evolution, a lot of people are afraid of changes. They often feel like they have no control over their lives due to those changes. So they become stagnant, live in the past and are unwilling to move, to progress or change anything from their routine.
Allowing yourselves or your life to change is one more step closer to freedom and happiness. Do you know what the good news is? It can start with just a few baby steps!
Being Judged:
How many time did you stop yourself from doing something because you were afraid of other people's judgment (put your hand in the air if you are guilty of it!)? This intense and persistent fear of being watched and judged by others affects every aspects of our life: work, school, social events and any day-to-day activities. It also impact the way we and others perceive ourselves.
When you feel like one of your action is being judge by people, remember they judgment is based on their own live. What works for them does not have to work for you (and vice versa).
Inadequacy:
Not being good enough. Story of our lives isn't it? A lot of people believe they do not have the necessary qualities and abilities to achieve something or to deal with life in general and have this feeling they don't measure up to other people. To overcompensate this fear, they generally criticize themselves and try to be perfectionists.
We all have our own strengths and flaws. Stop comparing yourself to others and become your own measurement system.
Do not let fear take over your life. It is too precious to be put on the side.
It might take time, commitment, money or risks but it is worth it. You deserve to experience and live the life of your dream but only YOU can make it happen.