Should I keep my pictures private?

A lot of people are hesitant about doing a boudoir shoot because they do not really know how they will be using their pictures. Some can't imagine sharing them and the idea of other people seeing their photographs is sailing away the boudoir shoot boat, no matter how bad they want to try it..

Online sharing or not online sharing

If there is one main takeaway from this blog post, it is this: the choice of posting your photos online is yours and only yours. Not your partner. Not your family. Not your friends. Just yours. If it makes you feel good and safe to share them, just go ahead. On the other hand, if your desire is to keep those pictures private, then it is your right, no question asked.

That being said, we do encourage sharing your pictures with at least your loved ones and here is why:

Because you are also a source of inspiration to the people close to you.

You might think that only those massive influencers have an impact online, but we all get even more impacted by the people from our intimate circle. If someone we know does something we find inspiring, it will definitely make a long-lasting impression on us.

With your photos, you have the opportunity to inspire your loved ones, near or far. And we are not just talking about boudoir! Your showing that you've done something outside of your comfort zone will likely spark a fire for someone else to do the same.

It works with strangers too. If you only knew the amount of new Scandals who told us the reason they reached out was because they saw someone they could relate to on our page. How does it feel to be someone else's muse?! 

Breaking the code of unachievable beauty standards.

It's no secret that the media constantly promotes unachievable beauty standards. Even though we have seen some improvement, there is still a long way to go, and many more people left feeling like absolute garbage when staring at themselves in front of the mirror.

By sharing your photos, you are sharing what a body is really like. With the skin details, the little rolls, the curves, the bumps. THIS is how we break the mold. The more we can identify with who they see in the media, the less shame and pressure we will feel. And if we wait for the media to fix this for us, we are going to be here a while. The ball is in our court!

Being proud of yourself.

Hey, you did something outside the box, something many people would never dare to do. You left feeling great about yourself and ready to get familiar with this freshly discovered confidence. It is an achievement, and sharing achievements feels good. Toot your own horn for a minute (or two)!

The satisfaction of going against the grain.

This is more personal gain, but we can all agree that one of the best feelings ever is to be a bit rebellious. Yes, you know what we mean! Doing something that's generally frown upon for no reason at all…. It is so damn liberating and it leaves us wanting more. Just give yourself that satisfaction already!

Never forget that You can be a beautiful source of inspiration to someone you wouldn't expect and that you can provoke changes, even if it is just in your immediate surroundings.

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6 unusual inquiries we got for boudoir photography

Once upon a time, two boudoir photographers were having tasty breakfast together. And like most of new entrepreneurs, they decided to open their emails to check on new inquiries like they did every morning. That day they got a new one and happily started to read it, but their joy faded away when they saw the email attachment: a dick pic… They never opened their emails in the morning ever again 😂

We receive a lot of badass and emotional emails, but from time to time creepy and unusual requests are popping up. Some are hilarious, others are disturbing. 

Scandals, here is our top 6 of the weirdest inquiries we got since we opened Scandaleuse Photography:

N°6 : The dick pic guy

If there is something intriguing with Boudoir and men, is that most of the gentlemen who contact us for a boudoir shoot want to do something more sexual. Which is not a problem! Even if we do not shoot this type of photography we understand everyone has their own fantasies and there is nothing wrong with that. But what is the most disturbing for us is that some men believe we need to see their pee-pee before accepting to work with them. And it usually goes like this:

- Them: “I wanna shoot with you, do you need to see what I look like?”

- Us: “No need to! We do not chose our clients based on their look or body type.”

- Them: sending the picture of big Willy and the twins (with the worst angle and lighting) even thought we said no 😤 But if you really want to show us your joystick, at least do it in an artistic way!

Joke aside, here is a gentle reminder to anyone who want to send us pictures of their genital: just don’t, we really don’t need to see what you look like down there!

It was very tempting to add a moustache and a hat on this photograph and send it back to that particular client. Should we do it next time?

N°5 : The iPad guy

This made us laugh!

We received a long time ago an email from a guy who wanted to shoot one of his sexual fantasy with us, we don’t remember exactly what it was about. With his inquiry he attached a script of all the scenarios he had in mind, scene by scene with details of what we had to shoot (was it badly written on top of being weird? Absolutely!).

But wait, the best part was that he requested that we shoot only with is iPad. Go figure!

N°4 : The pink blouse guy

One day we were contacted by a man who wanted to do a boudoir shoot for his future husband. His idea was to lay down on a bed made of Kleenex - once again everyone has a fantasy. He was also looking for a wedding photographer but didn't want to tell us the date of the wedding - RED FLAG. The icing on the cake was when he asked us to wear pink blouses for the first meeting, because (and we quote) "the first impression is very important".

Sure! Do you want us to wear a french maid outfit so we can clean your discourtesy off your face? 

We nicely told him we would not do it, so he decided to go with another photographer and apparently found one… Good for him!

N° 3 : The "I like humiliation" guy

This one was probably the most recent one. We received an email from a guy who lost a bet and had to do a boudoir shoot, wearing high heels, sexy dress, lingerie and/or be nude. He had to walk like a model and be shoot in some very embarrassing poses, for his humiliation and women amusement.

We obviously declined, told him boudoir photography is an art, and that we work only with people who respect this type of photography.

But we added we could provide some headshots for professional purpose if he was interested. You have to see business opportunity everywhere right?!

N° 2 : The "you need to wear sexy clothes so I can feel turned on" guy

Ooooh man, this was our first weird inquiry. This married man sent us an email because he was looking to do a couple boudoir shoot with his wife. They have been married for 20 years and they were looking to spice up their relationship. We were pretty happy about it since, at that time, we didn't get a lot of couples interested by a boudoir shoot. So he started to explain what he wanted, sent us example of videos and pictures (remember the dick pic story previously, well those were the beginning). His wife had apparently a big and sexual appetite and they were looking for erotic photography. We explained to him this is not the type of service we offer but we could give them sensual pictures without crossing our boundaries.

We were not against working with them, they wanted to celebrate the love they have for each other by trying a new experience.

Unfortunately he crossed the line when he asked us to dress up very sexy during the shoot so he can be more excited. We were happy to not go forward with this inquiry: this couple were the lions, we were the gazelles. 

N° 1: The "let's redo American Pie" guy

And the winner is... (actually my little favourite, probably because I watch all of the American Pie movies)
A man who loved his mom decided to treat her with a boudoir shoot and reach out to us. What a sweet and thoughtful gentleman who was open minded enough to offer this beautiful experience as a gift for his mom. Or so we thought.

We were pretty intrigued so we replied to him asking for more details. Maybe his mom asked him to book the shoot for her, maybe it was a gift for his parents' wedding anniversary, or maybe his mom had self-confidence issues and he wanted to let her out.

We were so wrong, it was not a thoughtful idea but a pretty crazy one:

He wanted some pictures taken of his mom and his best-friend like the scene in the first “American Pie” when Paul Finch is having sex on the pool table with Stifler’s mom. The story never said if it was a spam or a serious request. 

Yes we are photographers whose main goal is to highlight the beauty and sensuality of every bodies, but it doesn't mean we get sexual pleasure out of it. So keep your pants on (at least until the day of the shoot)! We are not part of your fantasy, don't plan to be, and will never ever touch your purple-helmeted warrior of love.  

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Overcoming Fear

Have you ever asked someone why they are not moving towards one of their dream? Most of the time they will find a strong excuse to cover the fact, that deep down, they are too afraid to do it (maybe they are not even aware of it). Does it sounds familiar to you? Of course it does, we all do it!

It is unfortunately common to settle in a life that is not meant for us. Depending of where we grew up, our education, people we surround ourselves with and our life traumas, we all have deep fears that are stopping us from making our dreams a reality.

What is fear exactly?

If you check Wikipedia, you will read that fear is an emotion induced by perceived danger or threat, which causes physiological and ultimately behavioural changes, such as fleeing, hiding, or freezing from perceived traumatic events.

It is a fundamental and deeply wired reaction every species feel and is meant to protect organisms's integrity and/or existence. Fear may be as simple as an hissing cat, or as complex as existential anxiety for humans.

It is an important emotion because it makes us take actions to protect ourselves when we feel in danger, it also creates adrenaline rushes some people might need in order to “feel alive". But it can also negatively impact every decisions we take and stop us from experiencing unknown situations.

Are we born with fear?

Yes, but only two innate ones: the fear of loud noises and the fear of falling. It is in our genes to have those natural instinct to keep us from getting killed.

Of course the more we grow up and experience life, the more we start to develop other fears which are triggered by real threats from past or present events and traumas, but also from imagined dangers such as other people's experiences and the media.

The most common fears against success

There are plenty of fears and phobias but today we want to talk about the most common ones that are stopping us from being successful.

Failure:

We live in a society where failure as a bad reputation as we only celebrate victories and success but not the struggles along the way. Because of this shame to fail, many people will refuse to experience something new unless they are confident they can win. It is a vicious circle for procrastination as in order to not fail we avoid even trying.

Even though failing can have awful consequences, you can also learn a lot from it. You get emotionally stronger and have more courage to keep trying. It helps you grow by questioning your current path and the mistakes you have done so far.

Rejection:

Nobody likes to be rejected! We take it so personally when it happens because it makes us feel like fools, makes us believe there is something wrong with us and increase our frustration from not getting what we want.

Is it really worth to miss out on opportunities because you don't want to take the risk to have your ego bruised? At the end of the day, the worst thing that can happen is that you get a “No".

Change:

Even though changes are part of our lives as we live in a world that is in a constant evolution, a lot of people are afraid of changes. They often feel like they have no control over their lives due to those changes. So they become stagnant, live in the past and are unwilling to move, to progress or change anything from their routine.

Allowing yourselves or your life to change is one more step closer to freedom and happiness. Do you know what the good news is? It can start with just a few baby steps!

Being Judged:

How many time did you stop yourself from doing something because you were afraid of other people's judgment (put your hand in the air if you are guilty of it!)? This intense and persistent fear of being watched and judged by others affects every aspects of our life: work, school, social events and any day-to-day activities. It also impact the way we and others perceive ourselves.

When you feel like one of your action is being judge by people, remember they judgment is based on their own live. What works for them does not have to work for you (and vice versa).

Inadequacy:

Not being good enough. Story of our lives isn't it? A lot of people believe they do not have the necessary qualities and abilities to achieve something or to deal with life in general and have this feeling they don't measure up to other people. To overcompensate this fear, they generally criticize themselves and try to be perfectionists.

We all have our own strengths and flaws. Stop comparing yourself to others and become your own measurement system.

Do not let fear take over your life. It is too precious to be put on the side.

It might take time, commitment, money or risks but it is worth it. You deserve to experience and live the life of your dream but only YOU can make it happen.

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You are who you surround yourself with

Wilferd Arlan Peterson once said: “Walk with the dreamers, the believers, the courageous, the cheerful, the planners, the doers, the successful people with their heads in the clouds and their feet on the ground. Let their spirit ignite a fire within you to leave this world better than when you found it.”

As some of you know, Juliette and I have been friends for almost 12 years. If we have stuck around each other for so long it is because we bring the best out of each other. We share the same values, have a lot of things in common, but we also have different personalities… We complete each other.

Of course we are not saying our relationship is perfect, all pink and glittery, it does happen we argue from time to time. But none of us is dramatic, and we are both open to each other feelings. This is, in our opinion, the best type of relationship you can have with someone.

Relationships aren't easy

Healthy relationships are a lot of work and commitment.

When you care about people in your life, you need to make time for them, be there for the best but also the worst, put your ego on the side, express your feeling and improve your communication, while putting down boundaries for yourself.

It is for sure not an easy process, but once you find the right people for you, they are worth the effort!

Energies are contagious

Does it ever happen to you that you are having a great time, feeling super happy and joyful, until you start talking to someone or just notice that person, and suddenly you feel down and sad? It feels like out of the blue that happiness was stolen from you. Energies are contagious and some people, sometimes intentionally, can drain you emotionally.

That is why it's very important to surround yourself with people who bring only positivity in your life.

You can choose to keep or let go of relationships

They say who we surround ourselves with, we become… And they are right. Your life is too important to through away the opportunity to become your best self and to have the life you deserve, because you make the mistake to spend time with people who are not good for you.

Fortunately you can make the decision to sort out your relationships and choose who you want to spend quality time with! It can be a heart breaking process, but at the end of the day it is needed.

Both Juliette and I, had to make that difficult choice at some point. The last painful one I can share with you happened in 2018. Juliette and I went to a workshop about femininity and the speaker said something I will always remember (she made us do this following exercise):

“Close your eyes. Think about all the aspects of your life and all of the things you have accomplished so far. How do feel about each of them?”

During that exercise, I thought about how much I am happy with Scandaleuse, how much I love my life in Canada and all my amazing friends. I thought about my family, that I miss them but how so supportive they are. Then I thought about my relationship with my partner of that time, and suddenly all I could feel was sadness, anxiety, and anger. I knew at that moment it was the end! This is when I took the decision to stop that long term relationship I was in. He wasn't a bad person, and I was really in love with him but something wasn’t working anymore and love wasn't enough to fix it. So I had to take the hardest decision of my life but I don’t regret it.

You need to know yourself first!

Letting go of someone is such a difficult step but 100% needed if you feel that relationship is bringing you down, whether it comes from a good friend, a lover or a family member. Here are a few steps to make this process easier:

• Visualize the life you want and find people who share the same values.

• Listen to your guts and identify how people around you make you feel.

• You feel something is wrong, try to understand why.

• Talk to the person about how you feel.

• Look for a solution but don't hesitate to check out if you feel like it.

When it comes to your feelings and happiness, you have the right to be selfish. It does not matter if the person is nice or depressed, if you are in love or staying because it is convenient, you cannot let fear, guilt, or compassion, dictate your needs.

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First it hurts, then it changes you.

This post is a part of our series “If I Had Listened", in which we're reached out to strong-minded women we admire to tell us about a moment they chose to trust their gut and follow a different path despite other people's opinion. Read more on the blog!

If I had listened to the thoughts of doubt and negativity in my head, I would have never had the courage to reinvent my life.

There’s something to be said about being forced to move on from a relationship that I knew wasn’t working and gaining the courage to start a whole new life that wasn’t in my plans.   

I started the journey of self reinvention at the age of 39 shortly after I received my walking papers from my ex wife. I didn’t move on gracefully.  The relationship hadn’t been working for a long time really so it shouldn’t have been a surprise.  On the outside it looked like I had it all; the great career, a large home, fancy car - the works. But, inside I was empty and unfulfilled. The scariest part was leaving behind this comfortable life that I had built. Would I ever find love again at my age? How was I going to start over as I approached midlife?

A few months into my newly single life I left the pitty party behind and began to refocus on myself. I now had the chance to  live a more authentic existence and I vowed that I would get it right this time around.

What did this mean? Happiness. I was no longer going to do things or be with anyone that would make me unhappy. It was time to get comfortable being uncomfortable.

At the age of 40 I left my high paying corporate job to do something that filled my heart rather than my pockets. I tried new things. I took better care of myself mentally and physically. I travelled on my own. I met the love of my life while on vacation and moved to another province to be with her. I went back to school to learn new skills and another language. A baby soon followed at the age of 42.

I now have a supportive partner who is in love with me and is proud to be by my side. I have my own business doing something that I love. I speak another language and I'm a proud mom of a 2.5 year old daughter that dances like nobody's watching. She's magic. My life is magic. Midlife is magic.

There is this saying that I love and it says “First it hurts, then it changes you.” It’s amazing how allowing yourself to feel and own the pain of hurt or disappointment can change your life for the better.

I’m now a 45 year old sex positive, body positive, queer woman who is living her best life. I celebrate my perfectly imperfect body because it can move and I’m healthy. I nurtured and birthed another human being with 42 year old eggs. How magical and awesome is that? 

Because the process of life reinvention has made me a more courageous and confident person, I decided to start a blog. The goal of this blog is to empower and inspire other midlife moms who feel like they’re undesirable, lost and losing time to rediscover and reinvent themselves. Just like I did.

I once thought that I was too old to start over. I soon realized that even if I had only one day left on this earth, I’d rather spend it happy than with sadness and regret.

People like to say that life is short. It’s really not. Life is long and at midlife you have so much life to live. Why live the rest of your life unhappy when you can live everyday celebrating it?

If I had listened to the negative thoughts in my head that told me I was too old to start over again, I would have never had the courage to reinvent my life for the better. Tackling the fear of the uncomfortable is what lead me to the bliss.

Luck should not be an excuse

A lot of people around us seem to be amazed by the life and experiences we living. Our Scandaleuse's community, travels, photoshoots and projects we had (and keep having) seem to be impressive and people truly enjoy it. We have never received so many compliments and love from friends, family, clients and strangers since we have left France. “You guys are lucky” they say…

Luck has nothing to do with it

When we were living in London, during a cold winter evening, we were talking to a friend from photography school online. He was asking questions about our life in London and was telling us his dream was to go to Australia but felt a bit lost and scared about this idea. We remember him telling us: “you guys are so lucky for leaving Paris, I wish I could do the same but you know my english is pretty bad and living in another country is expensive”. So we told him we weren’t lucky, we just kicked our own butts and took the decision to leave. Don't imagine everything was perfect, when we arrived in London our English was pretty bad, we didn’t have a job and only a few savings.

We could have found every excuses to not go to England because yes it was scary. Instead we decided not to listen to our negative thoughts and booked our ride. And you know what? It was the best decision ever! In 8 years we have achieved a lot in our lives (both professionally and personally) and we have met a lot of wonderful people from all over the world, who helped us make our dreams come true.

But this has nothing to do with luck! We work hard, we take risks, we get out of our comfort zone, we stress, we cry but most of the time we have fun. You know why?

Because we just love what we do and this is the best motivation you can get!

Stop stopping yourself

We all have excuses and fears, obstacles we put in front of ourselves but there is something easy to understand:

if you want, you can.

Don't get us wrong, we are not saying all dreams are easy to realize (most of them require knowledge, money, strength, time and surrounding yourself with the right people), neither we are all born with a silver spoon in our mouth. But even if we don't all have the same financial situation or life benefits, living the life you dream of IS POSSIBLE when you have ideas, projects and a strong will to change.

There is a famous quote from Tony Gaskins that has helped us understanding the power of “I Can” and positively impacted the decision to open our business:

"if you don’t build your dream, someone will hire you to build theirs."

The "GYST": Get Your Stuff Done

The first step is the most difficult to take but once you start working on your project, it will get easier, especially if you got a proper organization:

• Find your goal

• Plan step by step how to make it successful.

• Make the steps to do so accessible and specific. It will sounds unreachable otherwise.

• Invest or find investors to help you financially

• Educate yourself on the knowledge you are missing to achieve your goal. (PS: Libraries in Toronto are free. Just saying.)

• Or build a team of people who know how to do what you don't

• Spend time on your project. Kiss the procrastination goodbye.

• And most important: DON'T GIVE UP!

There are wonderful tools (such as internet and libraries that are full of information) available to help you take the first step towards realizing your projects. And if you don’t know or if you can’t do, don't hesitate to ask people around you for help; you will be surprised to see you are not alone. People will be happy to help you!

Remember, you are the only one who can move things up for your own happiness and future. Don't you want to become the person you desire to be?

Now roll-up your sleeves and go build your mini-empire!

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5 tips for a successful first solo trip

As you guys know, last December one of the Scandaleuse boss ladies booked a flight to Costa Rica for her first solo trip. Let us tell you it was a blast… I can now say I actually prefer to travel by myself than with people, it was such an unforgettable experience!

It can be scary at first but like anything in life, if you have the desire to try then put your fears aside and do it!

When it comes to the topic of traveling solo, many fears appear mostly about safety. You hear it from the media, your friends and family: “It is unsafe to go travel by yourself!”. No it is not, but it can be if you are not careful. Here are few tips for a successful first solo trip:

Play it safe

As a first time you want to make sure you will enjoy it, especially if you are not an adventurous person. My suggestion is first to:

• Choose a country which speak your language, not being able to communicate can make your trip a nightmare.

• Don't go for too long, you don't have to leave for 3 weeks if you don't feel it (don't do like me neither, I made the mistake to go for only 5 days and that was way too short). I would suggest to go from one week to 10 days.

• Make sure to stay close to civilization. One more time, if you are not adventurous chose the city over the wildness of nature. You want to make sure to have people around you in case of emergency.

• You don't have to tell strangers you are traveling solo, especially as a woman. Pretend having friends or family with you if that can make you feel less like a target.

Don't act like a dummy

When you read about people's experience, you hear few nightmare stories that can be pretty scary. But most of the time bad things happened to people who put themselves in the worst situations. When you travel by yourself don’t take stupid risks, it is not worth it! Always have your ID with you, don't get wasted in the street or unsafe places and don't accept candies from strangers!

Be prepared for the worse

You do have to think about what can badly happens but without scaring yourself off. Just be prepared to any possibility:

• Have a photocopy of your travel documents and a virtual copy accessible through your phone.

• Know the closest hospital in each of your locations.

• Have a plan B for transportation and accommodation.

• Give all your trip's details to your emergency contact.

Solo travel is not only for men

Get that idea inside head, yes women can solo travel too, we just have to be a little bit more careful than men. Follow your guts, do not trust too much and do not make yourself vulnerable.

Don't have expectation

Stop thinking your trip is going to be perfect, because it will not and it is fine! You have to accept little flaws which are going to happen during your trip.

Organization and safety are the keys for a successful first solo trip. I am not saying you have to be a control freak and stay in your hotel the all time, but just the minimum of care for yourself. I can promise you your trip is going to be unforgettable.

Open yourself to people and you will make new friends from all over the world. I can promise you, you will not get bored during your trip and you will never be really alone. Now go travel and make it incredible!

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How to build good habits

Do you remember few months ago when 2019 started, we were all super motivated with our new resolutions: I am gonna sleep more, drink less, eat healthier, buy less stuff, spend more time with my friends… How many of them are you still doing today? We all want to improve ourselves and set up goals to make our life better. So why is it so easy to give up?

You can find so many tools on internet which tell you if you follow the steps it is going to work, like a magical recipe. Honestly those rules are not exact science and cannot work on everybody because we are all different. It is really important to find what works the best for you and to do so, you need to experience and educate yourself.

I am not really good at changing habits because I do not have a strong self-discipline but I love challenges. Here are few advice I can share with you, little tricks that have been working for me so far. But first of all grab a pen and a notebook, you have some writing to do!

The importance of writing things down

Writing down ideas, goals or projects is primordial for their realization. But I am not talking about using a sticky note or paper sheet you are gonna lose, I am talking about a notebook or journal you can have easily access to, to read them whenever you need.

I was like you when my friend told me for the first time to write my goals down, very sceptical: “What does it change? I do not need to put those on a piece of paper, everything is in my brain!”. And you see, that is the tricky part because those are just thoughts, nothing specific. Writing them down will help you to visualize them to make it more real. It will also help you prioritize on what you should focus on, instead of having it all mix up because you have to much going on in your brain and taking the risk to forget half of them.

Motivation

This is the first step and most importante part. You need to have a strong motivation otherwise it is going to be very difficult to achieve. Once you wrote down the bad habits you want to change or new ones you want to add to your life, ask yourself why and write the reason. Let say you want to lose weight, what is the reason? is it because your actual weight makes you get tired real fast and you don't like not being in shape? or is it because someone told you you look too curvy?

Are you doing it for yourself or just because it is what you are “supposed” to do? Changing just to please someone else or to do the same thing as others will not help.

Recently, I decided to change my morning routine which was having breakfast in front of a tv show. There is nothing wrong with that until I realized it made me start my day tired and not really motivated. If I read, listen to music or work while having breakfast, it makes me start my day with way more energy than watching tv on my sofa.

Is it realistic

The second step is to make sure you can actually achieve them, otherwise let me tell you it is a waste of time and it might break your motivation, when you realize you cannot be successful at it. If they are unrealistic but you really really want to make them happen, then find a solution to the problem (even though it means changing other part of your lifestyle):

One of my goal is to wakeup everyday at 6.30am because I want to watch the sunrise and have more time for myself during the day. Unfortunately I do not sleep well so waking up early when you had only few hours of sleep was too difficult. I had to find first a solution to sleep better: 10 min of meditation before going to bed works like magic. Since meditation is new to me I really have to force myself to practice daily, so I can sleep better and wake up earlier. Do you see what I mean? You might have sometimes to create a habit to be able to work on another one.

Consistency & Self-Discipline

And of course the last step and most difficult one: daily routine! Consistency is the key to set up any new habits, you HAVE to do them everyday so it can become natural. Of course at the beginning you will forget or be too lazy but do not give up. Force yourself even if you are not motivated to do it and stop looking for excuses. You will be tempted to go against those good habits you are setting up, just don't. Temptation is like a bad craving, but it goes away after a few minutes… You are stronger than your brain! If not, trick yourself:

When I want to wake up early I put my phone far away from my bed so I have to get out of my bed to turn off the alarm. If I leave my phone close to me so it reachable from my bed, I turn off the alarm and fall back asleep.

Organization and scheduling

I found out planning your day in advance helps a lot to make some of your new habits a success. You do not have to be as organized as business man but just scheduling your day when you wake up will have a huge impact on your routine.

So what about you Scandals, any tricks to add?

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Do not let procrastination take over!

Procrastination is a big and scary word, nobody likes to be told or think they are being lazy. But we all know how easy it is to let ourselves go in any aspects of our life: relationship, life goals, business… It does not mean we are actually lazy or we do not care anymore, usually it is something we build with time and without noticing. Slowly but surely we have been developing bad habits and at some point it just hits us, trust me when I say it is an awful feeling!

Starting 2019 with "Panache”

I wanted to start 2019 in style, so beginning of January I wrote down a lot of new goals in my notebook, I especially wanted to work on being more self-disciplined and I was 100% motivated to achieve it. One of the first one was to travel alone: BAM! Two weeks later I was in Costa Rica by myself, celebrating my birthday and making new friends (I even met a new gorgeous scandal for a boudoir shoot). I came back to Toronto with clearer thoughts, new ideas and ready to conquer the world!

By the way, this feeling happens when you get out of your confort zone and try new experiences. Yes it is scary at first but once it is done, you feel so powerful and confident; you can do everything.

Hit me baby one more time

I kept that fire inside me until about two weeks ago when I started feeling down, unmotivated and not really healthy. Then few days ago it just hit me (and man, it was painful, I felt guilty!): I realized I have been letting myself go for a few months. Yes I was full of ideas and new goals but I wasn't working to make them happen. Business was busy, which was a bit unbelievable for winter time, so I focused on the tasks I had to do, I focused too much on the short term and forgot about long term plans. I have slowly been pushing back projects I was supposed to work on or business skills I wanted to learn. Those bad habits affected not only my business life but my personal one too:

• I stopped cooking healthy meals (I am a vegetarian so I have to be careful to replace properly the nutrients I don't get from meat anymore), the result: iron deficiency = a week an a half of intense migraines and fatigue.

• I replaced reading by watching tv shows (Netflix is temptation!).

• My workout has been the same for the past 2 months instead of learning new fitness and aerial silk tricks.

• Do you remember my 2019 goals I was talking to you about? Well I haven't opened that notebook since I wrote them in!

To make it short, I STOPPED LEARNING…

Your brain is a muscle

We always remember to feed our body. If we don't, it doesn't take too much time before having a low energy, headaches, dizziness… But we have the tendency to forget our brain is a muscle we need to take care of. We need to work it out and feed it with knowledge if we do not want to see negative effects on the long term.

When you make your passion a business, unfortunately you can easily lose your creativity, you have to challenge yourself all the time: I am not gonna lie, it can be very tiring… So you take a break, you relax. And it's when you let go too much you start building procrastination. All it takes is to find the perfect balance between work and pleasure. I am not able to remember the last time I watched a documentary, discovered a new photographer, went to an art exhibition or learn something new. I am not a lazy person, I am the opposite: always working hard, curious and motivated. But somewhere and for some reasons on the road, procrastination showed up and stayed warm and cozy.

The first step is to notice

Procrastination's guilt is an awful feeling. So when you catch yourself procrastinating for too long you have to change your activity right away, just stop and do something that feels right! If this step is too difficult for you then ask someone in your loved ones who will let you know if you f**k up. I try to not beat myself up because nobody is perfect but I refuse to use it as an excuse to stay in this vicious circle.

The secret against laziness:

Some of you are probably gonna feel disappointed because I know you are waiting to read an advice which will change your life… Please do not hate me but unfortunately there is no magic trick! You have to force yourself to do stuff! Whatever it is you try to achieve, you have to kick your own butt to be successful. FIND YOUR OWN MOTIVATION.

Use your brain!

Never stop learning, think, have ideas, keep yourself active, build up your energy and consider your body as a temple because if you are not healthy then it will be difficult to be proactive.

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Heidi, when strength meet kindness

Hello dear scandals,

We all feel how winter in Canada can be tough sometimes, the lack of heat and sun after few months starts to have a negative impact on our mood. So it can be a great idea to take few days out of the country: one of us went five days to Costa Rica and it was incredible. The goal of that short trip was to get away from Toronto and take some me-time… You guys know how hard workers we are and how it is difficult for us to disconnect from work. Well we have to confess, it was hard to not take the opportunity to do a boudoir shoot in paradise and work with a new lady… So we had to do it :)

We posted a message on a facebook group about a boudoir shoot idea and Heidi was one of the first to reply. Even though we did not know her, she was the one who stood out and we new from the start we wanted to shoot with her. What a meaningful encounter: her story was inspiring, we always love to hear about other business owner's experience and life. Plus she has an incredible personality, beauty… PERFECT COMBO!

Meet Heidi

Everybody has a story, I think that’s one of the things I enjoy the most about meeting people in Costa Rica. Here we are in this little beautiful country, together, talking and forming friendships, discovering how much we have in common and yet we all have a different back story about what led us here.

Costa Rica, 5 years ago

I went there for the first time to celebrate my partner’s and my 50th birthdays.  We planned a double vacation – some skiing and boarding in Whistler for the first week, and then straight to Costa Rica to learn to surf. Tamarindo….such a neat place! My partner could already surf and had tried it in many other exotic locations, but this was a first for me and I don’t even skateboard or snowboard… Yikes! Well, I survived surf camp and could actually say I could surf afterwards!

That first trip led to another and another and another, at least twice a year, enjoying the beach, training every day, surfing and always pondering eventual retirement and speculating about what little business could be started here to fill a niche.

At first we thought about a coffee shop, or more specifically, a mobile coffee cart – because at that time there were only a couple in town. Needless to say in 5 years there are probably 14 now…. so that was a good pass!

How Gilliepops was born

One thing that seemed to be lacking was treats of any sort that weren’t laden with sugar or milk and specifically cold frozen treats. Popsicles… Yes, that became the focus and ultimately Gilliepops was born, named after my late daughter, who passed away a few months after our first trip here.

Lots of brainstorming, creative thinking and marketing ideas, and in November 2017 I arrived in town with a bicycle, a cooler, my Vitamix and a couple of giant duffel bags filled with popsicles sticks, moulds, labels and packaging supplies. It was new and exciting, and at times very disappointing and stressful. I ate a lot of tuna and eggs that’s for sure but what an amazing experience! I even added gluten free baked goods to my repertoire and it seems the tourists and even locals can’t get enough of them. It’s awesome!!

Thanks to social media

Business here in Costa Rica is done differently that in North America.  It’s less formal and much of the communication is done either on Facebook or Whatsapp.

Because of the dependency on Facebook for business, I’m forced to check it daily and post often to encourage awareness of the availability of gluten free products here. This is when I saw Fanny's post about her visit to Tamarindo. I sent her a few suggestions, I think because I knew she was from Toronto. When she mentioned being a photographer and looking for someone to photograph while she was here, I jumped at the opportunity – there are almost no pictures of me here because I’m on my own. And what a beautiful place to be photographed.

Its been a couple of years since I’ve done a photo shoot and never when I wasn’t ready to compete (I’m a physique competitor), but I thought it would be nice to be captured as my regular self, my natural self, a little smoother and softer… tan lines and all…! The shoot was amazing – the view from the location we chose was so beautiful and the pictures she took are so flattering and beautiful.

I’m so grateful for the opportunity to have met one of the Scandaleuse's team, the time we got to spend together talking an sharing our stories.

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Dealing with trauma via boudoir photography

A few months ago, we flew back to our home country, France, to do one of our Boudoir Bash in Paris. We met a lot of wonderful Frenchies there, including the exquisite Nora. The first time we talked with her on Skype, she opened up right away about her motivations to do a shoot and her story moved us.

Having someone telling you about her past is quite emotional and this is why we love being boudoir photographers. It gives us the opportunity to work and help people to win back their confidence and even better, their self-love.

We are no therapists but we know that in some cases, photography can help heal consequences of a traumatic event such as abuse, assault, harassment and other traumas who have left you confused about who you can see yourself.

My name is Nora, this is my story…

“Let's start talking about my fear… I know, pretty unusual for people who know me!

My biggest fear is actually one of my family member, so it makes it really complicated to move forward, to liberate myself from this situation. Even though I haven't seen this person in years, I know that, deep inside, we might see each other again.

Yes, I grew up but I still have that fear to see his face, the way he looked at me, or even worse, to awake those bitter memories of his physical and psychological hits.

All of those years by his side can be summed up with tears and this feeling of helplessness against a man way stronger than me. To me, it sounds like a trivial story, so I tell myself “there is probably worse stories than mine.”

I grew up surrounded with machismo & the “alpha male” spirit. One day I had no other choice but to escape this life. I gathered up my strength and I left. I needed to get away as far as I could from this person, this source of fear. It was love that helped me to take this first step and put a temporary "band-aid” on what was haunting me.

Inevitably, the consequences of this sitution with this member of my family remove completement all of my self-esteem.

Being constantly put down during the first decade of your life makes you forgetting about who you are very quickly. However, time goes by and we try to rebuild ourselves after all, even if we have to put our loved ones aside.

I do not have this person in my life anymore. I have been with someone who listens to me and understands my past, who pushes me to thrive as much as I want for the past few years.

With time and maybe without noticing it, I was attracted by those women who are self-confident and whom by art, politic and culture were able to accept themselves the way they are. This is how I had the idea to use boudoir photography as a way to heal myself.

The Boudoir Shoot

What an unforgettable experience! A moment of peace where I was able to forget about my problems, all of my "flaws” and more importantly, my demons. It was just a magical therapy!

Posing in front of the lens made me realize that the qualities I was admiring in others were also part of me. I was able to win back what I thought was gone forever and shout out to the whole world “I will never feel ashamed to be myself anymore.”

This magical moment had a real positive impact on my life and I don't want to stop here as I have more ideas to keep feeling unstoppable. I have to say it would have been much harder without Fanny and Juliette's help.

“I am beautiful”

Thank you to the man who I have been sharing my life for the past 5 years, it is because of him I am still thriving!

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FRENCH VERSION

Je m’appelle Nora, voici mon histoire

Commençons par parler de ma peur, chose inhabituelle pour ceux qui me connaissent je sais.

Ma première peur, la plus grande, est un membre de ma famille. C'est donc compliqué de s'en défaire, de s'émanciper, car même si je ne l'ai pas vu depuis de nombreuses années, je sais qu'au fond de moi nous nous reverrons un jour sûrement.

Oui, j'ai beau avoir grandi, j'ai toujours cette hantise de revoir son visage, son regard et surtout de réveiller amèrement les souvenirs de ses coups tant psychologiques que physiques.

Tout ce temps à se côtoyer durant toutes ces années se résume aux pleurs ainsi qu'à un sentiment d'impuissance face à un homme bien plus fort que moi. Mon histoire me parait banale et je me dis alors "qu'il y a certainement pire que moi".

J'ai donc grandi dans ce contexte de machisme, du "male alpha" à la maison. Un jour j'ai eu la force de m'enfuir loin de cette vie, je n'avais plus le choix, il fallait mettre une réelle distance avec ce qui incarnait cette peur, une rencontre amoureuse m'a confortée évidemment dans cette démarche. Ce qui m'a permis de mettre dans un premier temps une sorte de "pansement" sur ce mal qui me poursuivait. Fatalement, ces déboires familiaux, dû à cet individu principalement, m'ont enlevé toute estime de moi.

Être constamment rabaissé durant vos premières décennies de vie vous font "très vite" oublier qui vous êtes, mais le temps passe et on tente malgré tout de se construire même si cela implique de (se) priver (de) ses proches.

Je ne partage plus ma vie avec cette personne avec qui j'étais partie à l'époque. Depuis quelques années je suis avec quelqu'un qui m'encourage à m'épanouir comme je l'entends, il a particulièrement su m'écouter et me comprendre. Inconsciemment peut-être, je me suis doucement intéressée à ces femmes qui s'assumaient, s'acceptaient au travers de diverses façons (art/politique/culture). L'idée d'accepter mon image et de faire un shooting photo m'est alors venu.

La séance Boudoir

Une expérience inoubliable ! Un moment où j'ai oublié tous mes soucis, tous mes (potentiels) défauts et surtout, tous mes démons ! Ce fût ni plus ni moins une thérapie magique.

En se prêtant au "jeu de l'objectif", j'ai pu constater que ce que je pouvais admirer chez les autres, je pouvais aussi l'apprécier et le retrouver chez moi. Je pense avoir, presque malgré moi, crié aux monde entier "je suis moi et n'en aurais certainement plus honte !".

Ce moment "magique" m'a réellement fait du bien, m'a donné d'autres idées encore et rien de tout ça n'aurait été si parfait sans Fanny et Juliette.

" Je suis belle "

Un énorme merci à l'homme qui partage ma vie depuis plus de 5 ans, grâce à lui je grandis encore!

How to plan a successful business trip

Having the freedom to work in other countries is our main goal. We work hard to be able to fly Scandaleuse Photography all over the place and meet international Scandals. This business trip in Paris was our first one and we do not plan to stop here! 

So why don’t we do it more often? Well it takes a lot of time, organization and it is kind of tiring. Those business trip are wonderful but far from being a vacation…

Do you like the idea of a business trip? Here is what we learned from our first one:

Organization is key

Tip #1: If there is one thing for sure, a business trip has to be planned a good year in advance.

What are you looking to get out of this trip? When are you leaving? When are you coming back? Where will you stay? Do you speak the language from the country you’re going to? There are too many factors to take in consideration, so it cannot be done last minute. Plus, the earlier you start planning, the cheapest your travel tickets will be!

The first step is to make a second business plan (#entrepreneursnightmare). You need to know exactly what is your goal: have a clear idea of what you are looking for in this business trip. What is your strategy?

Find the perfect city

Tip #2: Picking a city you are familiar with already helps.

Once you know your goal, you need to figure out which city is the most appropriate for your business trip. Look for the country first: do you want to stay where you live so you do not have to travel much or do you prefer a little adventure across the ocean? In both cases, if you go back to a city you have already been to, it will feel less overwhelming. You will know the areas where to stay, maybe even a few people you can crash at. Don’t forget about the language spoken there, we are both bilingual in French, so it made our lives a lot easier.

Find clients

Tip #3: be smart on social media and the world is your oyster.

Remember, you start on a new territory where people probably never heard about you. Do not expect to have clients throwing themselves at your business and begging to give you their money, you will have to reach to those people. As mentioned previously, social media is a great way to get in touch with potential customers, it will be your best asset in this new adventure. If you are not sure where to start, you can create a survey on social media and see where you have the most chance to get clients, who knows, your followers may be located in one specific area.

Don't kid yourself, making profits is a priority

Tip #4 : You have to do some serious budgeting, don't take this slightly. While you are away, you will be unable to book anything in your home town for a certain amount of time. You wouldn't want to come back home penny less, right?

Even though traveling for business is fantastic, it will involve some important costs. Accommodation, food, transportation, and you will want to enjoy yourself a bit too there. It won't be a vacation, you will not have the time to really rest and enjoy it fully from a tourist perspective. Just like working from your own country, you need to make money out of any projects you work on. I am not talking only about enough money to reimburse your trip but actual profits! Hours will be long, the planning above will take a lot of time, and you have to eat. (I don't know about you, but I like food, eating is nice and my rent ain't gonna pay itself).

Bonus: Jet lag can kick you hard.

Tip #5: Avoid travelling when there is a time change.

We never thought it would be so difficult to adapt ourself after 2 time changes. When we arrived to our home country, there was already a difference of +6 hours with Toronto, then a couple of days later France changed time. The same pattern happened again when we came back to Canada… Second time change! It knocked us out and took us 2 weeks to get back to normal.

You now have the good recipe to start planning a solid business trip. Good luck! As far as we are concerned, we will focus on Canada for a bit, before aiming for another european country.

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Paris & Lyon: Our first business trip

What a trip! We are back from France where we met 17 new Scandals! Since we could not take all of you in our suitcases to show you our home country, we decided to bring our business trip to you.

Make yourself a nice hot chocolate and enjoy the show:

Two busy weeks

Let me tell you: we had a blast and were very busy. In 14 days, we traveled for 20 hours, worked in two cities, drank few glasses (or bottles you will never know…) of red and white wine, had a lot of cheese, pastries, well, awesome food in general. We photographed 34 nipples and 17 butts, had to keep working on blog, vlog and social media. I will skip the number of time we packed and unpacked our suitcases but I can tell you we now mastering the art of folding clothes, in a way we can have room for more food (call us for our folding workshops!). And on top of that we were able to spend a bit of time with friends and family. We felt like Wonder Women and sadly time flew a bit too fast.

17 new and different personalities

 What made the experience even better was the fact that those new scandals were all different from each other. They were all creative with their outfits and ideas: they brought masks, small lights, colourful lingerie and were all happy to experience nude photography. They had different styles and personalities but they were all similar in one thing: they were bold enough to put their boundaries down for their first boudoir shoot.

Thank you to our french ladies and gentleman for trusting us and trying for the first time the boudoir experience. You guys were really amazing, badass and fun to work with!

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