What are you waiting for?

We hear it too often:

“I really want to do a boudoir shoot, but not now!”

When Juliette and I talk about our photography work, people often express the desire to have a boudoir shoot done. They share about the fact they have been wanting to do it for a long time, that they are waiting for the right moment to do it, but never seem to know when it is.

The truth is, the perfect moment to do a boudoir shoot doesn’t exist! Of course, there are a couple of factors to take into consideration such as time and money (time because you need to be able to dedicate a good chunk of your day just for yourself, and money because a boudoir shoot is a little bit of an investment), but for the rest, it is mostly fear that makes people keep pushing back the idea of doing a boudoir session.

Yes, boudoir photography can be intimidating. But it is such a transformative experience and trust us when we say that the more you wait, the more you are missing out on something extraordinary!

Celebrate Your Present Self

If you feel proud of who you are right now, then celebrating yourself with a boudoir shoot is a really great idea! Maybe you got out of a toxic relationship, or you changed carrier for something more fulfilling, or maybe you are turning a certain age and feel fabulous, then you deserve to treat yourself for all the hard work you had to do to in order to be where you are today.

It takes a lot of courage to make the changes we need to be happier in life, so we hope that you can see how strong and badass you are! A boudoir shoot is the perfect gift to capture that strength 💪

Reconnect To Your Body

So many of our clients dislike their body, and every time it breaks our hearts to hear how they talk about themselves:

“I hate myself!”

“Ugh, I am so ugly!”

“I am fat, it is awful!“

“I wish I could have a different body!“

For way too long, society has taught us to see our body as an enemy by creating beauty standards, and conditioned us to make them our reality. It is so deeply rooted that every part of ourselves that don’t follow those standards became “imperfections” that have to be destroyed. The result is that we are now so disconnected from our body we forget that without it, we will not exist. We focus on what we believe we “should look like”, completely put our sensuality on the side, and replace it with bitterness.

Doing a boudoir shoot is an important step to reconnect with your sensuality, and start loving your body for its natural beauty. So if this resonates with you, then this is the right moment to do it!

The Middle Finger You Sometime Need To Give

There is no better sweet revenge than doing something that makes you feel super confident other people find scandalous. There is a moment in life where we get tired of people’s judgment and being pressured to live a life that isn’t what we truly want. When you reach to that moment, your inner rebel takes control and encourages you to do stuff that make you feel proud of yourself.

When you do a boudoir shoot, you try an experience that allows you to become your own sexy and sensual version of yourself, and this is so freaking liberating.

It feels like giving an empowered middle finger to all the shitty things people have told you and done to you. You don’t want to wait forever to feel this way 😎

Life Is Unpredictable

This is going to be a big cliché, but there is so much truth there: life is too short to be waiting for the perfect moment!

I, Fanny, recently lost a family member, and it was very sudden. She was young, she was travelling with her husband, and she died. Her death was a sad reminder that you never know when it is time for you to leave this earth, and it feels like a slap in the face. Either it is death, an accident, or any other life's uncertainties, there may never be a "right time" to embark on this journey. The more you wait, the more you take the risk that it never happens.

If you want to try boudoir photography, stop overthinking it and just do it! You will never regret having a boudoir shoot done, but you might regret not doing it…

As you can see, the beauty of a boudoir shoot isn’t in waiting for the ideal version of yourself; it’s about celebrating exactly who you are today. Every curve, every scar, every feature tells your story, and that story deserves to be honoured. Boudoir photography is about embracing your present self with love and courage, because you are already enough, already beautiful.

Speaking of now or never: we are having a Holiday boudoir special so you can treat yourself with our mini boudoir sessions for the holidays, and give a very special gift to a very special someone at the same time! Click below for the details!

We send a really cool weekly newsletter with some sweet content and deals! Sign up below to not miss any (you can unsubscribe any time):

Name:

Email:

We respect your email privacy

Check out our Unstoppable photo exhibit

It’s a wrap! Our Unstoppable 3.0 photo exhibit was on October 7th, and it was a success! We sold around 90 tickets and were able to get $2000 for the 2 charities we raised funds for: After Breast Cancer and Breast Cancer Canada.

Since our exhibit is over, we can finally share with you all the photographs! This collection includes 19 photos, divided into 4 distinct sets, and we'd love to give you some insight into the story behind them.

When we started to brainstorm about the photoshoot, it was really important for us to work with women who were breast cancer patients and survivors to showcase different type of bodies and breasts, as most of them have undergone single or double mastectomies, some with breast reconstructions and some without.

We also wanted to illustrate the struggle of body-acceptance for breast cancer survivors, especially after a single or double mastectomy. It’s an unfortunate reality that breasts are often tied to ideas of femininity and sexuality. The emotional and mental impact on women when their bodies are changed in such a significant way is barely discussed. They are left feeling less beautiful, less feminine, and less worthy.

This exhibit is our way of showing our support, love, and admiration to all the women who are dealing with breast cancer 💗

Set 1

For the 1st set, we asked all of these beautiful women to start by covering themselves, except 3 of them, to showcase them as pioneers towards self-acceptance.

It was important that most of the models hide themselves and look away from the camera, to also show the feeling of loneliness breast cancer can make you feel. We use red as primary colour for the fabrics to show the pain, heartbreaks, and internal fights those women have to go through.

Set 2

The 2nd one was created with the idea of showing more women slowly uncovering, with the support of the first 3 models, and feeling more comfortable with their naked body.

In this set, we really wanted to recreate a boudoir room, with bright and light colours to bring a feeling of peace and happiness, in which our models are taking care of each other to represent the power of sisterhood and showcase the importance of having a feminine circle to fight the loneliness you can see in the set before.

Set 3

The 3rd set is the "no f*cks given" set, designed to be bold and defiant.

In this set, ours models are fully showing their breast and feeling more confident with their bodies. We chose royal colours such as gold to highlight their power and courage! We wanted something unapologetic and for these women to make a statement:

They will not hide any longer!

Set 4

The last one is s heavily influenced by the Renaissance era, and is all about rest and reflection to continue their healing process.

In this set, we used blue and purple colours for the fabrics, as we wanted to create a relaxed and serene atmosphere, symbolizing the achievement of self-love and the unity of a newfound community.

It was also very important to pose them in the most soften ways possible to showcase their natural bodies, and emphasize that stillness state.

Doing this 3rd edition of our Unstoppable serie was once again a beautiful journey rich in emotions, and it was a true pleasure meeting wonderful human beings! In case you were not at the opening night of this exhibit, we hope you enjoyed seeing the photos in this blog article and the story behind this project.

We want to thank all the fabulous people who have helped us created such a beautiful event, we are forever grateful!

Cancer was a test of my strength & resilience

This blog was written by Ellyn Winters, breast cancer survivor and one of our model for our Unstoppable photography exhibit.

I was diagnosed with ER+PR+ HER2- breast cancer on March 10, 2022. The diagnosis of cancer came as an utter shock. I was fit, a non-smoker, and a social drinker. I breastfed my kids. I had no family history. I also was diligent about my breast scans. I had a baseline at 40 and went every two years since turning 50. My last mammogram in 2019, in the words of my surgeon, was “perfect.”

And yet, I found myself two years and two months later, with multifocal cancer in the left breast. Three tumours, with the largest measuring 4.5 cm. How that was even possible will always be a mystery to me.

After two surgeons’ exams and an MRI, it was determined a mastectomy was the only option. I opted to have both breasts removed for symmetry and peace of mind and chose aesthetic flat closure – a form of chest wall reconstruction that leaves you with a perfectly flat chest.

Initially, things looked good with respect to my lymph nodes. Even after surgery, my doctor told my husband everything looked good. But pathology told a different story. Cancer was found in microscopic amounts in my left side lymph nodes. So I had 12 weeks of preventative chemo and 15 rounds of radiation to reduce risk of recurrence.

Cancer was a test of my strength and resilience. For the first four weeks after my diagnosis, while I awaited my biopsy, I was crippled with anxiety. I couldn’t get a breath or pick myself up off the floor. But as time went on, I gathered my courage, decided to “love my fate” and decided cancer was NOT going to take me to the mat. I fought back, trained like I was going into a marathon, and went into surgery and treatment with the stubbornness of a bull. I made it through. I never stopped working and never missed a client deadline. 

I also became determined to eliminate the shame and blame that seems to swirl around a breast cancer diagnosis. It bothered me terribly to see women express humiliation, or feel they need to hide away. So I fought, and continue to fight back against this societal stigma.  I wrote an opinion piece for The Globe and Mail. I wrote a book. I was featured topless in People Magazine, showcasing my scars and flat chest. I have co-created the first conversational AI for those on the breast cancer journey. And I am proud to support UNSTOPPABLE and share our uniquely brave beauty with the world. 

I didn’t want cancer. I still can’t believe I had cancer. But I decided that the universe set me on this path for a reason, and I am determined to make a difference and make things better for my daughter and other women.

Go check Ellyn’s Instagram to read more about her work in the breast cancer community!

If you are interested in our Unstoppable exhibit, you can find all the details and tickets below:

And don’t forget to sign up for our weekly newsletter!

Name:

Email:

We respect your email privacy

Scars only form on the living

This blog was initially written by Patti Hone on her blog: Tata Cancer.

A few months ago, I was asked to participate in a photo shoot with 9 other breast cancer survivors. We were a diverse group of women of all ages, size and race, but we all had SCARS, both physically and emotionally. Some of us had one breast, others no breasts, and still others with partial breasts. Some have had reconstruction, others not. We came together as strangers, but immediately bonded. We all had been touched by this horrific disease, and we all shared in that pain, fear, hope and fight. We didn’t have to say anything to each other…we just knew how each of us felt. We shared an experience that had changed our lives forever…an experience that bonded us as sisters for life.

The photo shoot was designed to educate, showcase and celebrate our bodies with or without breasts. It was very empowering. As a woman, society puts a lot of expectations and pressure on how we look. We are expected to have breasts…two. They are a sign of femininity, of beauty and of sexuality. But as women who have experienced breast cancer, our bodies no longer fit that mould, and we struggle with our body image and how we are perceived. I struggled long before having been diagnosed with cancer. I was always self-conscious of my appearance. I was never thin enough, pretty enough or attractive enough. I battled with this self-doubt for my entire adult life. Now throw in a double mastectomy and eight subsequent surgeries, and this “image” became an even bigger hurdle. And now, here I was, agreeing to pose topless for the world to see “baring” every bump, bulge and scar.

As the ten of us came together for this shoot, I could feel the energy emanating from each of us. There was no judgment and no shyness; only positivity, support and admiration.

We did not feel ugly. We did not feel unworthy. We felt powerful. We felt beautiful. We felt SEEN!

On October 7th, our photos will be displayed in an event to raise money for breast cancer. Tickets are now available as well as an “ask” for donations if you are unable to come but would like to help. 100% of the money raised will be donated to breast cancer charities.

We are proud to bare our scars. We are warriors, survivors and thrivers. Our scars remind us of what we went through and what we overcame. Scars only form on the living, and we celebrate life each and every day!

If you want to read more about Patti’s story, go to her blog!

Subscribe to our weekly newsletter for more badass content ⬇️

Name:

Email:

We respect your email privacy

Boudoir over 60, we highly recommend!

Earlier this year, we had the pleasure to photograph a fabulous woman, Madame M, who reached out because she was finally ready to try boudoir photography. In her initial inquiry, she mentioned that despite being 61 years old, she wanted to continue to feel empowered with her body and sensuality.

Since it was her first time, she was very nervous about her photoshoot. She shared with us that while she was on her way to our studio, she had kind of a panic attack to a point where she was very close to turn back and give up on this experience. Boudoir photography has been in the back of her mind for a long time, yet some little voices (fed by social norms and fear) were almost stronger than the excitement of finally doing her boudoir shoot. But she managed to stay strong and showed up for your photoshoot!

We are so glad she didn’t give up. She posed so well and her photos are beautiful! She truly deserved to experience boudoir photography. Her story, as well as all the other wonderful women who posed in front of our lens, inspired us to write today’s blog, hoping it can help women to take that step as well 💛

Women and ageism, it’s time to stop that BS!

Most women over a certain age do not dare to try boudoir photography, and how can we blame them? The stigma against aging women is brutal, and boudoir photography doesn’t help the cause! There are so little representations of women over 50 or 60 years old in the boudoir industry because society still believes that beauty equals being young. In society’s eyes, women lose value as they age, but they also become those sexless beings who lost touch with their sensuality. Because of those stereotypes, most fashion and boudoir photographers have over time prioritized younger women for their artistic projects, giving no room to people not fitting in these criteria.

Boudoir photography isn’t an easy experience, especially for first timers, as it can make people feel quite vulnerable (not everyone can easily pose in their underwear in front of a stranger!). Most of the inquiries we receive are coming from people who want to regain confidence, and learn to like their body the way it is. So for a woman who might be lacking body-confidence and has been told by the media that because she passed a certain age she is now worthless, doing a boudoir shoot can be extremely difficult!

Meeting those women who want to try boudoir so badly but stop themselves because they feel like they are not good enough breaks our hearts, and we wish mentalities could change faster! Thankfully, more and more people in the industry, us included, fight to change those social constructs. It is taking some time, but things are evolving. Now we need more brave people to try boudoir and share their awesome pictures with the world so they can inspire more people to do the same (honestly, that is the faster way to create a change)!

Fight those negative voices that are stopping you from doing a shoot!

But how can someone find the strength to give it a try even though they might feel really anxious about it? Well, if you are reading this blog and recognize yourself in those words, know that you are not alone! Many people are curious, yet afraid, by boudoir photography. And our main advice would be to first find the perfect photographer for you! Choosing the right person for the job is the most important step, as you want to make sure you will feel comfortable during the process. Then, just do it instead of overthinking the whole experience. The more you think about something that stresses you out, the more excuses you will find to not do it.

And 👏shut👏those👏voices👏down👏. If you are excited about doing a boudoir shoot, but you suddenly start thinking that you are too old, not thin enough, not muscular enough and whatnot, think about something else or keep focusing on the joy you get from doing a shoot.

Please believe us when we say that you are perfect the way you are! The beauty industry makes millions of dollars, selling us products we don’t need and making us believe we have to look a certain way to be worthy and desirable. There should not be any beauty standards to begin with, but unfortunately it is what it is. What we can do on our side is fight this nonsense by accepting our natural beauty and celebrate our body.

And what better way than a boudoir shoot to do so !

Like what you just read? Join our Scandaleuse letter below for weekly tips and tricks!

Name:

Email:

We respect your email privacy

We created our Parisian photo studio in Toronto

Earlier this year, we took one of the biggest steps for our little business: we got our first official studio space. It had been a dream for many years and if you are curious to know why we even went in this direction, you can read our first post about it here.

What we haven't explained about this project is the actual vision for our space and how we brought it to life. So allow us to walk you through our gorgeous space…

The criteria and non-negotiables

When we started thinking about a space, we created a little list of our priorities for it. We just found it after digging around, so let's see what we have checked off the list.

Here is what we initially wanted:

- Close to line 2 in the West end
This one is a ✅, as we found a space located in the West of the Junction, area we barely knew and now cherish

- 800 - 1000 square feet
✅, our space is actually right in the middle, with 900 square-feet

- Natural light
Score, as we have a corner unit with unobstructed view ✅

- Love a good industrial but not dilapidated-looking and not only bricks
❌ but it was actually a blessing, which we will elaborate below.

- Avoid first floor for privacy and safety
✅ We are on the second-floor

- Easy street parking & accessible via public transit
✅ That was one of the nicest surprise in this area. Bus stop is right across the street and there is free street parking all around. The sweet spot between city and residential vibes.

The following were not must but appreciated:

• accessible (elevators): ❌ We only have one flight of stairs, but stairs nonetheless

• outdoor space: that's a HUGE ✅✅✅ as we scored a gigantic terrace that you will see below.

• A/C: ❌, sadly.

Overall, we managed to get many of the tings we wanted, and this list truly helped us when we had to decide between 2 particular candidates.

The visits and first vision change.

We started the visits in September 2023, and honestly, nothing stood out until the end of November, when we ended up with not 1 but 2 pretty sweet spots, same rents, just very different styles.

The first one was indeed an open space with an industrial look, which we initially wanted. It is a pretty common type of space in the industry and it didn't even cross our minds to have an apartment layout. But when we stepped in our current unit, we both had butterflies.

There was this charm to it as it was renovated but the building is from the 20's, and some features just took us back home to France for a minute. Then we saw the huge patio which is truly a gem to find in this city.

After spending a couple of days sitting on it, we realized quickly that we were already projecting ourselves in it, with ideas that were very proper to this space, so it was a no-brainer…

2 photographers, 2 minds and 3 rooms.

A huge asset to having an appartment layout that we didn't think about is that it gave us the opportunity to both express ourselves in the decor.

While Fanny and I are obviously very similar and had the same idea for the foundation of the space, aka our Parisian-inspired look, we do differ on some aesthetic choices.

I was in love with a romantic, lighter tones bedroom vibe and Fanny was dreaming about a darker, moodier room, so we decided to take one room each, and have the common ideas for the 3rd room. Lucky for us, the space was very bare, which made it easier to fully customize it.

This is how our Séjour (living-room), Salon de Jour (Day Lounge) and Salon de Nuit (Night Lounge) were born. Here is a little presentation of them all, with random anecdotes we don't want to forget!

Le Salon de Jour aka Day Lounge

This room was imagined as a "getting ready room”, where you just wake up with the sun, look beautiful, relax with a latte made by your lover while reading your favourite novel.

This room humbled us hard on the moulding creation. We had absolutely no knowledge on how to build anything like this and thank the Irish gods because one of their leaders came to our rescue to bring us back to earth and get to work. (This is also when we found out that using a nail-gun makes you feel pretty powerful).

Le Salon de Nuit aka Night Lounge

This one was thought to be when you lounge before hitting the town or when you are coming back from it. Make yourself a Martini, put on your favourite vinyl and enjoy the sultry vibe around you.

Fanny has a mini panic attack after painting 3/4 of the room in this green. I remember hearing “I think I hate it” from the other room. It was thankfully short-lived, because everyone stepping in this room is raving over the rich green she chose!

Le Séjour, aka the living-room

We wanted some warm, rich tons for this room, with a distinct Art Déco twist, golden touches and a terracotta wall. It also had to be functional, as we use this room for our meetings and reveal sessions.

We found this fire mantle for $15 on Facebook Marketplace, from a vendor who just wanted to help us out with a piece he loved, and we are forever grateful for him.

La Terrasse aka the patio

This was the last section we created, firstly because we moved in in winter, but also because we weren't too sure what to do with it, until our recent trip to France. We saw the wisteria trees that are so familiar to us in the summer and decided to turn our outdoor space into a provencal oasis.

We went to the massive park to find branches to use to build our tree and between making sure they were bug-free and the weird looks we got from people, it was an adventure!

And now, altogether!

We just had a little virtual tour video done, with some more recent updates, and you can now pay us a little visit!

It has been such an accomplishment for us to pour our hearts and souls into this space. It's constantly evolving, we have a million more ideas and we can't wait to keep sharing its evolution with you.

If you are interested in shooting with us in our beautiful home, you can get more information by clicking here.

In the meantime, you can also join our weekly newsletter below for more content like this!

Name:

Email:

We respect your email privacy

You should have a picture of yourself naked

Since the beginning of time, there has been this curiosity around illustrating the naked body. Painting, photography, sculpture (any kind of art, truly)!. And it is because bodies are beautifully fascinating. Yes, even yours! And it is definitely worth capturing it, one way or another.

Hold on though, we are not talking about slamming it on a billboard for everyone to see, we are talking about the act of posing naked, the power behind it and the wonderful memento you get to have out of it.

So why should you want a badass naked photo of yourself?

Because you never get the chance to see your full body, nude, from a distance, and even from the back. 

That's a pretty simple answer, but, oh, so true. You can only see your body from your point of view and the odd (and not always flattering!!) photo taken by someone else. You also rarely see your full body and you definitely don't see the back of it much. 

Having a well-done photo of your naked self taken gives you the chance to see your body with an entire different perspective. It brings objectivity to the table which is a powerful tool in itself to take down body insecurities and work on potential body-dysmorphia. It helps you realize that, no, your vision is definitely different from what you thought and might even be inaccurate. 

Because you are turning vulnerability into power. 

Being fully naked, without anything to hide you is one of the most vulnerable states you could be in. This is the real you. When you decide to step into this, you are becoming one with your vulnerability and are turning it into power.

You are taking on the challenge and showing up for yourself and that, my friend, is the ultimate confidence token you could give yourself. 

Because you are going against the grain

Posing naked can truly satisfy your inner rebel. It is still to this day considered "frowned upon", "not proper", or even "shameful". When you decide to do it anyway, this feeling of showing your middle finger to all of those judgments is so empowering and liberating. And this has an impact on everything you touch afterwards: you won't let shit stand in your way as easily, scout's honour!

Because it's a way to own your body and honour it.

If you have spent a good chunk of your life deprecating your body, the best treatment would be to get a naked image of yourself taken. This is a way to bring back objectivity and detachment in how you see yourself. To bring clarity to a cloudy vision. 

If your body has changed a lot over the years, whether it was planned or not, this experience is the perfect opportunity to reclaim your self-image and get acquainted with this "new"  body of yours. 

And because Moira Rose says it best…

Take a thousand naked pictures of yourself now.

There you have it. If the idea of owning a photo of yourself naked has been tickling you for a while, give yourself this chance. Don't chalk it off to a "superficial" experience, it isn't. Its effects will linger, provoke some necessary changes within you and give you the push you were looking for to achieve what you want.

Sign up for our newsletter below to get a weekly boost of inspiration and allow us to empower the hell out of you! ⬇️

Name:

Email:

We respect your email privacy

Taking intimate photos doesn't make you a “whore”

On the 2022 list of "things we don't tolerate anymore, whatever the excuse is”, slut shaming is in the top 3!

We have heard too many times from people in our community, that some people in their life believe it is inappropriate for a woman to do a boudoir shoot. For example, one of our lovely Scandal messaged us saying how one of her close friends decided to stop talking to her after seeing her boudoir photos online. Long story short, her "oh so scandalous photos" made her look like she was an attention seeker and could not be trusted, especially around said-friend's husband. Mind-blowing, isn't it?

We have a universal truth for you: taking photos of yourself in a sensual setting showing partial, suggested or full nudity, does NOT make you a whore. It makes you a freaking goddess. And it might surprise you, but it has nothing to do with any physical aspects.

There are 3 types of people:

1. Those who are in the process of conquering their fear of something, anything, by stepping out of their comfort zone. They seek Happiness with a capital H and believe it resides in continuous learning and positive challenges in life.

   They know the recipe but haven't started putting the ingredient together yet.

2. Those who are a few steps ahead with a few life experiences under their belts, thus have already learnt to develop a "no fucks given" mentality and celebrate the fact that they can be who they really are.

   They have built solid foundations of confidence and it shows in everything they touch.

3. Last but not least: those who don't dare thinking outside the box and, quite frankly, are pretty scared to explore what's happening on the other side of the white pickets fences of "proper" beliefs they -or their environment- have built for them.

Guess which persona usually reaches out to us? #1 & #2. Why? Because they understand that boudoir photography is far from being just pretty photos. It is a set of tools given to you to start or finish the process of embracing yourself.

Gain some experience points and level up

By embracing yourself, you are taking the chance to live your life to the fullest, according to your needs.

Here is the super important part: by learning to do this, you are demolishing negative beliefs, you become much better at facing obstacles, you are significantly decreasing any source of anxiety and you trust your guts. You know what you need and are not afraid to do what it takes to make it happen. In other words: you know your worth!

Suddenly, the path to your dream job doesn't seem out of reach anymore. Or you know you can work your ass off to build the home of your dreams.

You will also attract relationships who will respect, appreciate and lift you up. Bonus: you will know how to do the same to others because you can acknowledge other people's worth too.

Think of it as a major level up. We like to think with each skills acquired in life, we have little "xp" points popping up above our heads like in video games. The higher you go, the more tools you unlock to keep leveling up.

So what if you use boudoir photos as a part of your ongoing growth?

There is something to learn in every experiences you go through. We know that and you know it too.

A boudoir experience is just a tool given to you to level up. Grab it, enjoy it a 100%, and take everything you can out of it. For yourself but also others. Because once you do get on the other side of basic beliefs, you will reach your hand out to bring others in too.

That's how strong teams are created and changes are made.

If you have that deep desire to try a boudoir shoot but you don't feel ready to take the first step yet; we created this detailed online boudoir program. It is the perfect opportunity to get a first taste of boudoir photography at home, with just you and your beautiful self.

Did you like what you just read? Then sign up below for our weekly newsletter to receive more blogs and tips about other cool topics ⬇️

* indicates required

Email Address *

First Name *

Stop limiting yourself

If there is one truth in life, it is that we have all grown up following pre-selected ideas and standards. You, me, your parents, your friends, everyone, we have all been conditioned a certain way. While there is nothing wrong with that, it doesn't come only with positive or neutral outcomes, it also creates limiting beliefs.

If you think you don't have some, read the 5 main ones below and we can guarantee you will recognize yourself in at least one of them. The good news is that, if you are aware of them, you can start beating the crap out of them.

This blog post is based on an awesome French podcast. We have been implementing this topic with Scandaleuse since day 1 and this podcast sums it up beautifully.

What are limiting beliefs?

To make it simple, they are a kind of mental beliefs that defines how you act, make decisions, work, interact with people, even how to eat. You are 100% certain they are true and even, universal.

So far, it is pretty neutral.

Those turn into limiting beliefs the minute they become obstacles and are holding you back from reaching any goals you'd like, big or small.

Have you ever thought you couldn't or shouldn’t do something without an actual reason (aka: you will die if you do this or will deliberately hurt someone) ? Maybe out of fear or thinking it is not politically correct?

There you have it: you are facing your own limiting belief. The truth is: limiting beliefs are often based on a distorted and subjective reality.

The 5 big limiting behaviors:

1) Confusion:

You want to do everything and try anything and you are well aware of that. You have a lot of passions and interests and that's pretty great: you are just not afraid of taking on anything and a lot of people are blocked by the step from the get-go.

However, here is the trick: you don't stay in place long enough to persevere whatever you start. You end up switching tasks before being able to see actual results. This is often connected to impatience and short-term vision.

How to kick its butt:
Try to work on your patience and long-term vision: there are always positive outcomes out of a new activity, but you may not be able to see them right away. Trying setting deadlines away from the immediate future, aim for 6 months for example.

You are more than capable to create those results. Every single step counts and baby steps turn into a much bigger result if you stick to them.

2) Dissonance:

You want to start a new project, an idea, even a relationship but once you do it, you are gonna find an excuses and obstacles to stop it. You are mastering the self-sabotage.

This is connected to a lack of self-confidence and fear of disappointment and even pain.

Let's rip off the bandaid: you don't trust that you deserve something good and that shit will hit the fan no matter what, so you might as well step out and stay in your comfort-zone, even it it gets uncomfortable.

How to go all “FATALITY”on this:
It's going to be very interesting to try not to take anything personally and see every little obstacles that happen as challenges. Instead of seeing them as a sign to stop whatever it is you are doing, see them as lessons to learn so you can grow.

If you really look at it: your comfort zone has changed without you noticing anyway (you don't have the same routine as when you are 14 years-old right?) So there is no reason to stop your growth.

3) Lack of clarity

You have very vague objectives. This one is probably the biggest for me and I have been working on this. This is mostly connected to a fear of failure. You end up asking yourself why something is not working for you, while not setting yourself up for success.

How to “bye Felicia”-d it:
Instead of asking yourself WHY something isn't working, ask yourself HOW you can make this work for me?

Ask yourself the good questions, practice letting go of your fears of dreaming big and set strategies by having objectives you can measure, so you can see concrete progress.

4) Perfectionist

That's a pretty common one and I was also guilty of this before opening Scandaleuse. Starting a business has always been a dream of mine since I was little but I felt like needed to know everything and it needed to be perfect before even starting it.

I never felt ready enough and thought I needed to learn more constantly. How did I end up starting Scandaleuse with Fanny? Well the universe threw me a couple of really crappy bosses in the span of 3 years to force me out of the standard employee path and work for myself.

Of course, it is good to gather information and prepare, especially before starting a life-changing project but when it just ends up pushing back the start date, it's not doing you any good.

You're not gonna jump in the water without knowing how to swim a minimum. But you don't need an olympic medal in swimming before setting your toes in water.

This is connected to a fear of lacking competence (hello impostor syndrom) or even a fear of hurting people (eg: not leaving someone because it’s not the good time for them.)

How to kick it out of you (without waiting for terrible managers for years):
Understand that the perfect moment doesn't exist and you have to create it. Read that again. It's time to roll up your sleeves and tell yourself you are ready NOW.

5) People pleaser.

People's wishes are your command. You never really ask yourself what YOU want. You hate confrontations and conflicts, you don’t know how to stand up for yourself and set your boundaries.

This is a direct line to the need to feel loved and appreciated at the cost of your own identity. You want to feel needed and are terrified of other people's opinions about you.

How to go all “Kill Bill” on it:
Understand that it is not other people's opinions that are gonna hurt you, it is the stories you make up to yourself about those. People's judgement is not about you, it is about themselves.

Live according to your values. Not everyone is gonna agree with you, it is just impossible. By owning your opinions and values, you will attract people who share and respect them. And that is how you grow too because you start creating self-validation instead of needed it from others.

So now, which one are you?

Let us know if this blog inspires you to kick your limiting beliefs to the curb and how you plan to do so!

And don't forget to sign up to our newsletter to not miss out on any content we send… We promise not to spoil you with too many emails :)

* indicates required

Email Address *

First Name *

How to get your inner fire back.

Have you ever felt like you are living your life in autopilot mode? Like nothing, good or bad, really matters. You just feel kind of numb. This general lack of excitment and drive is a signal that you haven't postivitely challenged yourself lately, you’re missing your little inner fire. Something got lost on the road, and it is okay, you can find it back.

Reflect, reflect, reflect.

Now, before you start trying everything and nothing and printing out pinterest checklist and Marie Kondo-ing your apartment, you have to take a minute to reflect because when we get in this mode, we all tend to forget the good things we have done and focus on what we don't have at the moment.

Take a moment to tune in with yourself. What gets YOU excited? What would you like to improve on or learn if you didn't have to worry about limitations of any kind? What are your proudest accomplishments? What are you proud of in general?

You can write those down, meditate, go for a walk, just do whatever you need to take those precious minutes and see what's going on.

Channel that feeling of pride.

Even if you cannot necessarily see it at the moment: you have accomplished stuff, big or small. It could have been simply changing that damn lightbulb that was flickering forever, to you changing job. It doesn't matter what it is, this feeling of accomplishment is what makes us want to do more. It gets the ball rolling towards more.

Seriously, high-five yourself, you are doing just fine.

Remove the unnecessary pressure.

There is no race to the best person ever. Change takes time and nothing is set in stone. To make change stick, you need to be consistent to it becomes natural to you, and that is NOT easy. You may take longer or go faster than others to accomplish whatever your heart desires and that's totally fine.

The idea is not to go there fast, it's to make sure it stays on the long-run.

So if you feel anxious like you haven't done what you wanted to, take a deep breath and remind yourself there is no deadline on a healthy mindset. Maybe you didn't have every tool you needed to move forward at this time, but it doesn't mean it's not gonna change now.

Goal setting is supposed to be thrilling, not stressful

If setting a specific goal for yourself stresses you out (and not the good kind of stress, we are talking about anxiety here), don't set it. You're not ready for it (yet), or you may not even want it. Make your steps reasonnable, you are not gonna because fluent in the language you have been wanting to learn in one day for example.

Remember, we are trying to rebuild this warm sense of accomplishments, the task do not need to be gigantic to get it.

Follow your own standards & wave goodbye to people's expectations.

Let us let you in on a little secret: you can do anything.

Read that again.

Now that this has sunk in a bit, you can start learning to let go of people's expectations. Your family, friends, boss, you name it. You need to hear your inner voice to guide you properly and you can’t do so with the noise of others around. People love projecting their own insecurities on others when they are talking about something new. Don't let it kill your groove here.

Eyes on the prize my friend, at the end of the day, you, and only you, know better what is best for YOU. Trust the process.

If you are looking for a little way to challenge yourself smoothly, you can sign up below for our free self-confidence challenge below!

Looking to boost your self-confidence & reconnect with yourself? Sign up for our FREE confidence challenge!

Email Address

First Name

Vaginismus: making sex unbearable since the beginning of time.

Most women have to deal with intimate problems throughout their lives and, a lot of time, without guidance. Those intimate problems that are way too often just considered “normal” and swept under the carpet. It makes you feel lonely, embarrassed and completely helpless.

I shared with you last time about the UTIs and vaginal infections I have been dealing with since I was a child. Eden is sharing with you today her journey with vaginismus.

Through our stories, we hope you can relate, find helpful information and feel less alone.

what is Vaginismus?

“I have been dealing with Vaginismus for roughly two and a half years now. This is a condition that involves a painful contraction of the muscles of the vagina in response to penetration.

Many describe this pain as a tearing sensation or as though there is an impenetrable wall inside the vagina. In my personal experience it feels as though I am sitting on a knife. This can happen with any form of penetration: putting in a tampon, during a pelvic exam, while masturbating and, of course, during sex. In my case I experience my worst pain during sex and pelvic exams.

Unfortunately, it took me a whole year of pelvic exams and going to various doctors and gynaecologists before anything was done. That was a year wasted on being told to just use lube and come back if the pain persists, until, one doctor actually took the time to sit down with me and ask about my sexual history.

When someone stopped to really listen to me the diagnosis was so obvious.

However, it was not the relief I thought it would be. It confirmed that there was damage I needed to address from a previous relationship.

There is a kind of grief that comes from losing such a simple ability as not being in pain during sex, you feel broken. I still remember what it feels like to have sex with someone I love and not feel like I am tearing from the inside out. “

Learning to deal with vaginismus to conquer it, bit by bit.

”I have been able to deal with both the emotional and physical repercussions through a lot of therapy and self reflection. The first step for me was to stop fighting with my body and just pushing through the pain.

My body is not malfunctioning, it is not broken; from the beginning, it was trying to tell me that something was wrong and now I know to listen to it.

Learning to accept those signals with love and kindness and adjusting what I am doing accordingly has helped immensely, both with or without a partner.

Some days, my body will be able to do things that other days would be impossible, and that is okay.

I made a promise to love my body on the days it can have full penetrative sex just as much as I love it on the days where all I can do is cuddle.

Sex and sexuality is not limited to penetration, there is a wide realm of pleasurable experiences if you are willing to get creative, and as long as everyone is having fun there really is no "wrong" way to do it.”

Open communication is key to help yourself, and help others.

As you just read, reconciling with your body is the advice you can ever receive. Your body is not out there to get you, and once you manage to understand, listen to it and stop rationalizing everything, you will absolutely move foward. Remember: there is nothing wrong with you.

So if you are dealing with intimate painful conditions like Vaginismus, UTIs or even, chronic yeast infections, don't be afraid to talk about it. Speak up to help yourself, but also help others. Talk to your partner so he/she can help you. Talk to your friends so they can feel less alone. Talk to a stranger if you feel like she/he could use reassurance.

You can break the taboo and bring awareness to all of this so less and less women have to wait years to be diagnosed properly. So they don't have to hear to appointments after appointments that it's no big deal and they need to just “get out of their heads”.

We woud love to share more stories like Eden's. If you would like to share yours with us, contact us at iamscandaleuse@gmail.com. You can absolutely keep it anonymous.

Subscribe to our mailing list & get our feel good gift!

Email Address

Own your identity, armpit hair or not.

Get ready for this universal truth: we all have hair. Everywhere. And you've probably heard at least once in your life "you should remove it", "it's gross", "why do you care?" "all natural baby!" "Aren't French people hairy anyway?"(oh wait, that one is for us eheh). It's time to unleash the truth.

Hair, no hair; does it really matter?

A couple of months ago, Marion Seclin (a french influencer we are following on social media), was talking about the fact she did a photoshoot with a brand who edited her hair out on Photoshop, without notifying her. She said she took the decision 4 years ago to let her hair grow naturally and she was very angry about the studio’s behaviour:

The decisions concerning YOUR body belongs to YOU and you ONLY.

By photoshoping her hair out, without her CONSENT, that brand violated her right to be the individual SHE DESIRES TO BE. They disrespected her life's choices. And for what? Because they felt like she didn’t match their standards. Standards usually imposed by the media, fashion industries and beauty companies.

Nobody should tell you what is the best for you (either on a physical or mental level). Hair or no hair doesn't make one single difference. If people are telling you the opposite, you might not want to have them in your life.

Your body's decisions must be made based on your opinion. not others.

If you choose to wax every 3 weeks or not, it should be because it makes you feel great that way and not because you feel like you HAVE to do it.

Story time: We had a wonderful photo shoot with Léa Castor in Paris. She stopped removing her hair a couple of years ago, because she realized that she wasn't really doing it for her, but for her lover at the time. She said that she wanted to start loving her hair the way it actually is, but it was hard. Not because she thinks it looks ugly but because of society: she felt like people will judge and criticize her.

When we first talked about her session, we really wanted to showcase and do close-ups of her hair to tell the world "hey see, it's not bad at all!" but it turns out that we just focused on her as a person like we always do. And guess what?

No one actually noticed her hair and for the few photos where you could actually see it, it just looked great.

By not making the hair the main focus and sticking to our way of shooting (about the actual person and not her physique), we just made it normal.

We didn’t bring attention to it because we didn’t think it defined her fully anyway. And no one cared either.

Building your identity despite expectations: damn that's hard.

But damn, it is worth it. Being able to live your life the way you want to is the best feeling in the world.

You feel in harmony with your values, you can take on anything, it is pretty much the road to your long-term happiness. Jackpot.

However, from the minute you will start making decisions to be fully yourself, you are going to have to face… the Others.

They could be friends, family, anyone who feel like sharing their 2 cents about whatever it is you are doing for yourself and they are probably against what you are doing. And this makes the whole process for building your own identity very challenging.

This is when you have to stick to your guns. Why? Because any critics about your journey is actually not about you. It’s about whoever says them. They are simply projecting their own insecurities and fears on you.

People who don’t feel like they are giving it all in their own lives are going to try to bring down anyone who tries.

Read that again.

• You want to start weight-lifting and you are hearing “ugh you're gonna be so bulky, it’s not feminine”?
• You want to learn a new skill and you hear “oh, I know someone who tried and they failed, it was so hard, you’re not gonna make it.”
• You want to let your damn hair grow and they’re like “this is just gonna look gross, why do you do that to yourself?”

They are not thinking about YOU. By you trying something new and different, they just have no excuse not to and it makes them very uncomfortable. Because they have to face their own fears and limiting beliefs.

So don’t take it personally. Don’t let them bring you down. Keep being true to yourself. This is your life.

A little recap for the road:

• Living your life being fully yourself is possible for everyone.

• Decisions about your body are only yours to make.

• People who are criticizing your decisions are not talking about you but about themselves.

Are you ready to move forward and become the best version of yourself? We can help you. Join us on January 1st and become Limitless.

Be the first to know

Email Address

Letter to my 17 year-old self

Dear 17-year-old Juliette,

You know, there is this trendy exercise I have seen around lately, in which you are writing to your 10 years younger self. People warn their younger selves, they tell them what they could have done and what they should have avoided, so they can have an easier present.

Are there stuff we should have done back then? Absolutely.

Maybe you can let go a bit more and stop worrying about other people's opinions and expectations.

Maybe you can speak louder and send those nasty guys packing when they harrass you in the street, making you feel so small and so uncomfortable.

Maybe you can learn to appreciate the way you look instead of comparing yourself and fighting so hard to hide what you think are flaws. Like this big chunk of side bangs you’re desperately trying to hide behind for some reason. Dad used to say “You have 2 eyes, why can't I see both of them?” and I know you scoff at it. Fact though: he's right.

Maybe you can start trusting people instead of taking over everything and everyone. Maybe you will be disappointed like you are convinced you will be, but maybe not.

But honestly, I am glad you didn't do any of these things. Because thanks to those, you went through experiences and learnt the lessons included in the package.

Because thanks to you, I can do all of the above now, confidently and I am spreading the good vibes around me.

So instead of those “maybes", I want to say thank you .

Thank you for being the stubborn woman you already are. I wouldn't have pursuing my dream career without it. (Seriously girlfriend, we've been photographers for over 12 years now! Can you believe it?!)

Thank you for being open-minded and curious. Without you, I wouldn't have learned english and been able to speak it every day almost flawlessly.

Thank you for not being scared to see big. Otherwise we would have stayed in France where we felt “meh” and settle for a boring life instead of changing country twice, open a successful business and then meet the love of our life. (he's really cool and also really handsome. Freaking jackpot, let me tell you.)

Thank you for trying to deal with that body of yours. Because at some point, I said f*ck it and decided to take the self-love route. If you hadn’t gone throught those troubles, we wouldn't have been able to help other people with the same struggles through our work!

At the end of the day, Juliette, I wouldn't be here if it wasn’t for you. Thank you for paving this road for me. I can't wait to see what 10-year older Juliette will have to say about the one I am paving now. I'm sure we will make her proud too.

---

I strongly encourage you guys to try this little exercise of introspection. We can’t tell you enough that self-love is your tool to nurture as much as you can, in order to be happy on the long-run. Feel free to tag us if you share yours in a post! Lots of love. J & F.