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Sensuality 101

Let's get liberated today!

Sensuality can be a scary topic for some people as it is common to believe it is only related to sex, and usually used as a weapon for seduction. Even if both are connected (when you learn to develop your sensuality, you learn to be in touch with your body the way it is, which opens up your sexuality), sensuality is also so much more than sex.

It is the ability to feel deeply connected to all our senses, and experience life in a more beautiful and energetic way.

 
artistic black and white pictures of two nude women surrounded by plants in front of white background
 

It is time to demystify sensuality

If you Google it, you will read the common definition of sensuality is:

The enjoyment, expression, or pursuit of physical, especially sexual, pleasure.

But sensuality is also defined as the ability to feel in touch with our touch, smell, sight, hearing, taste and any extrasensory perceptions beyond our five commonly recognized senses.

If sensuality is often interpreted as sexuality, it is because of that one thing they have in common. PLEASURE. What can be more difficult to understand is this notion of pleasure: some things can give you sexual pleasure and others can be pleasurable without sexual desire.

Sensuality can increase your sexual behaviour but can also be about enjoying simple pleasures, such as watching a sunset, flavourful food, a massage, a perfume or any particular smell, a yoga pose, feeling the sun on your skin… Anything that makes you feel great in the moment but isn't related to sex.

You gotta embrace it!

As women we heard it all:

“Be polite. Dress up properly. Be a good girl!".

Most of us have been told to never be too loud because people will think we are hysterical. We have been told to not take too much room otherwise we are just showing off. Neither to show too much skin because we are whores if we do. So we cover ourselves up, forget how to be in touch with our femininity and let our true essence disappears. And for what? Because we feel like we have to please others all the time, and are afraid of people's judgment.

Not loving our whole-self enough leads to frustration, jealousy and sadness. How can we expect to be happy and live the life we want, when we are filled with all those negative feelings?

Learning to embrace sensuality (btw, we are all sensual beings!) is a way to start feeling in harmony with our body, which increases our self-confidence and trust in others. And since sensuality is connected to all of our senses, it also develops our creativity, imagination and intuition. Not that bad hey!

Indian woman wearing black lingerie and red shirt standing in front of window with curtains flying around

Sensuality = Femininity

It doesn't matter what we identify to, we all have a feminine and masculine side. Sensuality is a powerful tool to dig deeper into your feminine energy. If you feel like you are more in touch with your masculinity, exploring your sensuality will help you understand and bring back more of your feminine side into your life.

It is very easy to do! You will read below that there are many ways to embrace your sensuality, all you need is to keep an open mind about experiencing life.

Different ways to explore sensuality

When at peace with your whole-self, you are less likely to feel stressed in your every day life. You also don't feel the need of external validation: what people can think of you does not matter anymore. It creates a new level of self-love and confidence.

As said before, there many possibilities to experience sensuality:

  • Movement:

    Can be some yoga, stretching, dance, a walk in nature,… Moving your body every day is amazing for so many aspects of your life, one of them being sensuality. When you move, you have to be aware of every inches of your body. Every muscles, and nerfs get activated, which makes you feel more in touch with yourself. It also allows you put all your energy around your hips which makes you feel so powerful and sexy.

  • Food:

    Big foodies here! We are both from France, so let us tell you that you how much food means to us. France has a fabulous culinary reputation and it is for a reason: french cuisine is all about flavours and smells, forget about salt and sugar, we are talking about explosion of aromas. We learnt to educate our palate, so when we try exquisite food, it can feel like non-sexual orgasms.

  • Clothing:

    Every shapes, colours, and textures you choose to wear can tell a lot about who you are, and what you enjoy in life. Clothes are a powerful tool for confidence and sensuality, it is like wearing a second skin. When you were pieces that make you feel good about your body, or the way you look, you unlock your emotions and allow yourself to be who you want to be.

  • Nature:

    Our world is a beautiful place and need to be cherished. Next time you go outside, be aware of everything around you: the sounds, colours, shades of lighting, movement created by the wind, smells, feel the sun on your skin… Feel the energy of Life. How does it make you feel?

  • Boudoir photography:

    Can you think of a more powerful way to develop your sensuality than boudoir photography? Having (pardon our french) the balls or vulva to show vulnerability by posing half naked in front of two strangers (AKA us), and still feel badass and empowered, is pretty impressive!

Now you just have to go for it!

“I never thought that sex was wrong, sinful, dirty. When you take away the thought of things being dirty or forbidden, then you can really enjoy your sensuality.” Gioconda Belli

Sensuality as a way to experience a deep peace within yourself, to feel alive and fulfill. When you embrace it, it makes you feel like you can do anything.

The world become your oyster.

And guess what?! When you feel like you can do anything, you actually start doing stuff that make you happy and 100% yourself. It is like a magical kick in the bum!

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The power of femininity

We live in a masculine world, where femininity is often seen as a weakness. We focus on goals, the future, security, and protection, when we should also live more in the moment (which is one of the feminine traits).

But femininity is powerful, when you dig into it you become more aware of your emotions, your body, and the world around you. It also makes it easier to connect with others and create more meaningful relationships.

 
scandaleuse-photography-toronto-boudoir-femininity-masculinity-empowerment-genders-love
 

Femininity VS Masculinity

First, let see the basics to understand the differences between masculine traits and feminine ones:

  • Masculinity is more about drive, focus, assertiveness, and confidence.

  • Femininity is more about empathy, connection, caring, and nurturing others. It is also being in touch with our emotions, which in society eyes makes feminine people “too sensitive” (which is in common beliefs a sign of weakness 😡).

Traditional Gender Stereotypes

It is getting a tad better now, but we still live in a society where our gender at birth determines which of those two traits we should have: if you are born as a female you should be feminine, and if you are born as a male you should be masculine, period.

This, combine with the description of those traits above, created stereotypes such as boys should always be strong, brave, and should show no signs of weakness. While girls should always take care of others first, and are expected to be fragile creatures who need protection.

But masculinity and femininity have nothing to do with genders as we ALL have both within us. It is a question of balance, like the yin and yang, salt and pepper, wine and cheese… The two go hand in hand!

Even though there is usually a dominant one, embracing both femininity and masculinity is absolutely possible. THERE ARE NO RULES! You can even switch which one is on top depending of a situation, your mood, people you are with…

Nasty Clichés Around Femininity

If you have been following us for a while, you know that we love to destroy common false beliefs. So today we want to demystify some clichés around femininity. Why? Because clichés stop people from personal growth. Following false common beliefs is the best way to stay stagnant in life, but since you are reading this, it is probably because you want to thrive instead right? 💪

Here are some of those nasty clichés (we had to make a Tiktok out of it!):

 
 

If you cannot watch it, here are the most common ones:

  • You have to be girly to be feminine. FALSE!

    Femininity is an attitude, not a look.

  • Being feminine = being weak. FALSE!

    You can be feminine and move freaking mountains.

  • You cannot be feminine and masculine. FALSE!

    We all have a masculine and feminine side, we are just not used to show both.

  • If you are feminine, you won't be taken seriously. FALSE!

    Being feminine doesn't undermine your skills.

Femininity is a way of being, you decide how to implement it in your life. And it is the same for masculinity.

To conclude: as usual you do you! Doesn't matter your gender, if you feel like being masculine on Mondays and feminine on Thursdays, then do it. Times are evolving, and we finally have the experience and knowledge to change those beliefs. We might as well start now!

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