Get ready for this universal truth: we all have hair. Everywhere. And you've probably heard at least once in your life "you should remove it", "it's gross", "why do you care?" "all natural baby!" "Aren't French people hairy anyway?"(oh wait, that one is for us eheh). It's time to unleash the truth.
Hair, no hair; does it really matter?
A couple of months ago, Marion Seclin (a french influencer we are following on social media), was talking about the fact she did a photoshoot with a brand who edited her hair out on Photoshop, without notifying her. She said she took the decision 4 years ago to let her hair grow naturally and she was very angry about the studio’s behaviour:
The decisions concerning YOUR body belongs to YOU and you ONLY.
By photoshoping her hair out, without her CONSENT, that brand violated her right to be the individual SHE DESIRES TO BE. They disrespected her life's choices. And for what? Because they felt like she didn’t match their standards. Standards usually imposed by the media, fashion industries and beauty companies.
Nobody should tell you what is the best for you (either on a physical or mental level). Hair or no hair doesn't make one single difference. If people are telling you the opposite, you might not want to have them in your life.
Your body's decisions must be made based on your opinion. not others.
If you choose to wax every 3 weeks or not, it should be because it makes you feel great that way and not because you feel like you HAVE to do it.
Story time: We had a wonderful photo shoot with Léa Castor in Paris. She stopped removing her hair a couple of years ago, because she realized that she wasn't really doing it for her, but for her lover at the time. She said that she wanted to start loving her hair the way it actually is, but it was hard. Not because she thinks it looks ugly but because of society: she felt like people will judge and criticize her.
When we first talked about her session, we really wanted to showcase and do close-ups of her hair to tell the world "hey see, it's not bad at all!" but it turns out that we just focused on her as a person like we always do. And guess what?
No one actually noticed her hair and for the few photos where you could actually see it, it just looked great.
By not making the hair the main focus and sticking to our way of shooting (about the actual person and not her physique), we just made it normal.
We didn’t bring attention to it because we didn’t think it defined her fully anyway. And no one cared either.
Building your identity despite expectations: damn that's hard.
But damn, it is worth it. Being able to live your life the way you want to is the best feeling in the world.
You feel in harmony with your values, you can take on anything, it is pretty much the road to your long-term happiness. Jackpot.
However, from the minute you will start making decisions to be fully yourself, you are going to have to face… the Others.
They could be friends, family, anyone who feel like sharing their 2 cents about whatever it is you are doing for yourself and they are probably against what you are doing. And this makes the whole process for building your own identity very challenging.
This is when you have to stick to your guns. Why? Because any critics about your journey is actually not about you. It’s about whoever says them. They are simply projecting their own insecurities and fears on you.
People who don’t feel like they are giving it all in their own lives are going to try to bring down anyone who tries.
Read that again.
• You want to start weight-lifting and you are hearing “ugh you're gonna be so bulky, it’s not feminine”?
• You want to learn a new skill and you hear “oh, I know someone who tried and they failed, it was so hard, you’re not gonna make it.”
• You want to let your damn hair grow and they’re like “this is just gonna look gross, why do you do that to yourself?”
They are not thinking about YOU. By you trying something new and different, they just have no excuse not to and it makes them very uncomfortable. Because they have to face their own fears and limiting beliefs.
So don’t take it personally. Don’t let them bring you down. Keep being true to yourself. This is your life.
A little recap for the road:
Living your life being fully yourself is possible for everyone.
Decisions about your body are only yours to make.
People who are criticizing your decisions are not talking about you but about themselves.
