“You just have to be yourself and everything will be ok!” they say, but what the heck does it mean?
This is the big question we asked some of the people from our community and we have to say, we got fantastic answers:
- “Don’t care about what other people think of you and what you do. Only you can decide what you want to be.”
- “Being happy with who you are.”
- “Being comfortable with every aspect of yourself (physical, emotional, mental).”
- “Owning everything, little thing that makes you YOU by doing it unapologetically.”
Be UNAPOLOGETICALLY you, we got a pretty amazing definition here! But how do you reach to this state of self-acceptance?
1 - Understand your qualities and flaws
You need to figure out who you are in order to be yourself… Yeah we know it sounds obvious but think about it for a minute:
What makes you, YOU? Who are you as a person and with others?
We all are a combination of "good and bad” traits that mostly defines our personality: Are you funny? Selfish? Kind?… With your own terms, what are your characteristics?
Listing your qualities and flaws is a good way to understand how you function, evaluate yourself and manage your emotions, so you can change the way you react to them when they are triggered by an event or a person. Once you understood and welcomed those parts of you, it gets easier to align your behaviour with your values, without letting other people's opinions impacted it.
Little side note: remember that qualities and flaws, like art, are an abstract concept. They are defined by how people see you, what they think is proper or not, and the life situations you are in. Some people might be annoyed by some of your qualities, where others might appreciate your flaws. For example your kindness could trigger people who are not used to receive love or help, they might get frightened and not trust your good intentions.
Never make yourself smaller because someone is telling you you are too loud, too proud, too ambitious…
2 - Focus on your growth
It is really easy to desire someone else’s life, especially with social media. Since it is unusual for people to share their struggles, we imagine they got it all figure it out. Your neighbour’s grass is always greener than yours right?!
We, humans, have the tendency to romanticize everything. We want this couple relationship, this person happiness. We wish to have their skills, their job, their personality, their freedom, and beauty. Because on paper everything look shinny, their life is perfect, they have it so easy… But that is not the reality! We ALL go through tough times. It is important to remember that!
So instead of wishing to be someone else, express your uniqueness:
Stop comparing yourself to others, you have your own strengths and weaknesses;
Improve what you are good at and have the desire to learn to open your mind up to new things;
If people around you are not happy with your lifestyle then it’s on them. Their opinion should not impact your life.
Focus on what makes YOU happy.
3 - Accept to change
A lot of people lose themselves because they are too afraid to change their life to go after what they want. They end up feeling frustrated, angry, and sad. But it is part of life, we all changed! You are not the same person as you were 5 years ago, and the future you will also be different than who you are now.
Both Juliette and I want to make big changes in our personal life. We both have that urge to buy our own property closer to nature. And it is scary AF, it means getting rid of big money blocs. But we know that if we don’t work towards this “calling”, we will regret it.
Being true to ourselves is also about letting go of things that are no longer working for us (can be people, work, own beliefs,…) to make room to a more fulfilling life.
4 - Let your inner child run wild
Did you notice how free young kids are? They are their true essence because they haven't been conditioned to follow society's rules yet. They live in the moment and don't care about people's opinion. Isn't it something you wish you could have back sometimes? That innocence, that freedom?
As adults we can be pretty uptight, feeling we have to be serious most of the time because we have “responsibilities”. Feeling judge by others if we dare being a bit different. So we put the fun on the side and focus on our struggles and drama.
But what if instead we allow ourselves to be silly and enjoy the moment? Go jump on a trampoline, cartwheel in the grass, make silly faces at your reflection, dance in the rain… whatever makes you feel like a kid again!
Put the mask down and allow yourself to be the natural you!