First it hurts, then it changes you.

This post is a part of our series “If I Had Listened", in which we're reached out to strong-minded women we admire to tell us about a moment they chose to trust their gut and follow a different path despite other people's opinion. Read more on the blog!

If I had listened to the thoughts of doubt and negativity in my head, I would have never had the courage to reinvent my life.

There’s something to be said about being forced to move on from a relationship that I knew wasn’t working and gaining the courage to start a whole new life that wasn’t in my plans.   

I started the journey of self reinvention at the age of 39 shortly after I received my walking papers from my ex wife. I didn’t move on gracefully.  The relationship hadn’t been working for a long time really so it shouldn’t have been a surprise.  On the outside it looked like I had it all; the great career, a large home, fancy car - the works. But, inside I was empty and unfulfilled. The scariest part was leaving behind this comfortable life that I had built. Would I ever find love again at my age? How was I going to start over as I approached midlife?

A few months into my newly single life I left the pitty party behind and began to refocus on myself. I now had the chance to  live a more authentic existence and I vowed that I would get it right this time around.

What did this mean? Happiness. I was no longer going to do things or be with anyone that would make me unhappy. It was time to get comfortable being uncomfortable.

At the age of 40 I left my high paying corporate job to do something that filled my heart rather than my pockets. I tried new things. I took better care of myself mentally and physically. I travelled on my own. I met the love of my life while on vacation and moved to another province to be with her. I went back to school to learn new skills and another language. A baby soon followed at the age of 42.

I now have a supportive partner who is in love with me and is proud to be by my side. I have my own business doing something that I love. I speak another language and I'm a proud mom of a 2.5 year old daughter that dances like nobody's watching. She's magic. My life is magic. Midlife is magic.

There is this saying that I love and it says “First it hurts, then it changes you.” It’s amazing how allowing yourself to feel and own the pain of hurt or disappointment can change your life for the better.

I’m now a 45 year old sex positive, body positive, queer woman who is living her best life. I celebrate my perfectly imperfect body because it can move and I’m healthy. I nurtured and birthed another human being with 42 year old eggs. How magical and awesome is that? 

Because the process of life reinvention has made me a more courageous and confident person, I decided to start a blog. The goal of this blog is to empower and inspire other midlife moms who feel like they’re undesirable, lost and losing time to rediscover and reinvent themselves. Just like I did.

I once thought that I was too old to start over. I soon realized that even if I had only one day left on this earth, I’d rather spend it happy than with sadness and regret.

People like to say that life is short. It’s really not. Life is long and at midlife you have so much life to live. Why live the rest of your life unhappy when you can live everyday celebrating it?

If I had listened to the negative thoughts in my head that told me I was too old to start over again, I would have never had the courage to reinvent my life for the better. Tackling the fear of the uncomfortable is what lead me to the bliss.

How I Met My Business Partner

Episode 1 : From Paris to London.

Hello Little Scandals,

Juliette here! As you know, there are two Scandals-en-chef behind Scandaleuse. Fanny and I are lucky to have a rare relationship. A very strong bond that was built over the years. Not to say that we agree on everything, we are not Barbie dolls surrounded by unicorns, but we have been pretty lucky to find each other.

So that's the story for today: how we met.

(Fanny doesn't know I am writing this at the moment. Surprise!)

2012, and already taking lingerie photos....

Paris, September 2009. I am 17, Fanny is 19. I am from the middle of nowhere in the North of France and Fanny grew up in Paris' suburbs. We officially met for the first time when both of us sign up for Photography school in Northern Paris. Two young women trying to chase their dreams and learn the craft that Photography is.

The first things I remember about Fanny are:
• She was ALWAYS wearing heels
• She had to have her coffee from that crappy machine we had in the hall multiple times a day.
• Her nails were different color every week. Like seriously, that was the fun fact of every other Monday.

I felt like she was such a grown-up compared to me & my black nails, because y'know I am rock'n'roll.

We spent the first year of school becoming friends but nothing crazy. We both had other girls we bonded with. Turns out both of these lovely girls ended up leaving after the first year and Fanny and I kept going for the second part of the program.

I guess this is when we started becoming close. I was slowly struggling with this school that I didn't like, seeing Fanny was pretty much the only thing that made me go. We modelled for each other's assignments. We did random shoots when no one was taking care of us.

She was always game to follow my crazy ideas of creating dresses out of curtains and go shoot in a public park in Paris.

Yep, this was one of first sessions!

#artplease

I wanted more than the school. I wanted to travel. I didn't go through the program and didn't do the last year. Fanny kept going and I found another school than led me to London to work as an assistant for a photographer there.

Surprisingly, my leaving made us stronger than ever. Over the span of 8 months, I did my internship and went back home. Fanny had that tickle to travel then and I desperately wanted to go back to London. "You should come with me" I told her one day on October 2012.

Later that month, I got a phone call:

"I am coming with you, let's do it" she said.

Tickets were bought the same day, we packed our bags and left two weeks after.

The day we left for London with 3000 bags.

To this day, the moment when both Fanny and I were in the Eurostar, on the way to London-St-Pancras, is one of the most powerful moments of my life. We were both very serene. We were doing something kind of crazy, leaving our friends and family behind, to go to a city Fanny didn't know and I was barely familiar with. City where people speak another language we didn't really know. No jobs, no apartments, just our thirst for adventure. Yet everything felt like it was meant to be.

After writing this, I realize than we are going to need at least another post to tell you guys how we ended up in Toronto.

Stay tuned Little Scandals.

I had to end this blog post with some vintage pictures of us. Here we go, yours truly!

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