How To Be Your Most Magnificent-Self

We were very tempted to write “badass-self” because for us it has such a powerful meaning. But apparently the definition of BADASS is not super positive, so let’s go with MAGNIFICENT!

It is no secret that when you feel confident about yourself, you achieve more and are less afraid to do things in general. Wouldn’t be amazing to be able to put our self-doubt in the garbage and feel confident all the time? Hell yes!

You build confidence by being and doing!

Confidence comes in waves, and it takes practice to keep it up. It follows our emotions and gets triggered every time we face failures, disappointments, and frustration. On top of that, the media and people can also make our confidence drops if we pay too much attention to the external noises (*cough: people’s judgment).

To avoid those negative feelings and make sure you stay confident in your life, you have to live it by your own rules and make sure you stay true to yourself (it’s time to stop being a people pleaser, for example). If you are thinking:

“Ok ladies, you are right in theory, but all of this sounds vague to me. How do you stay authentic when you are not sure of who you are or what you want to begin with?!”.

We get that feeling of confusion as we have been there. And honestly, it still happens now and then because Juliette and I never really settle for an easy and quiet life. The more you experience life, the more you grow, therefore you constantly reevaluate who you are. It can be tiring, but is always exhilarating.

Even if those self-discovery journeys are very personal, we want to share with you what have been working for us so far and the values that we think are important in order to stay authentic to ourselves:

Stop fearing what people think of you!

Let’s start with this, as this is the most common reason that stops people from being themselves: others.

There are two things you need to understand, and we wish someone had told us that when we were teenagers… It would have changed a lot of things for Juliette and me:

• People will always judge you. It doesn’t matter how you dress up, if you are a good or a bad person, what you do for a living, or how you live your life, someone will always disagree with your choices. It is IMPOSSIBLE TO PLEASE EVERYONE.

• People project their own limits on you. How many times have people told you you will never be able to make one of your dream come true? Many times right! They don’t believe you can make it because they cannot do it themselves. Their opinion of you is based on their own experiences, limits, fears, and failures.

Isn’t it mind-blowing? This is why what people think of you is not important. You will never be happy if you let people dictate your life.

Don’t take life too seriously!

Who said that because we are adults we cannot let our inner child out and play without worrying of what others will think? It is sad to want to do something but stop ourselves from doing it because it is not proper or acceptable as an adult.

We say “fuck it!”. Dance like nobody is watching, go twirl under the rain, laugh and cry, make noises or a little dance when you eat something delicious, believe in fairies and mermaids if you want to…

Having a huge imagination and being silly doesn’t make you less of an adult, but it will for sure make you feel more relax and happier.

via GIPHY

Do things that make you feel proud of yourself…

… and don’t hide it from others (yes, even if you are afraid those activities are inappropriate for your age, gender, or profession).

As boudoir photographers, we hear it often from our clients who do a shoot but don’t want to show their pictures to anyone in case people might think it is too sexy or slutty. No one has the right to judge when it comes to personal choices and preferences.

So go take those sexy pictures, the pole dance class you have been dreaming of, or go buy that outfit that is calling your name even though it is too short, colourful, or sparkly.

As long as you feel good about it, it is all that matters!

Embrace your beautiful-self!

And learn to love your body the way it is! See your body as your friend and stop throwing hate at it. We, women especially, are too focused on the part of our body we don’t like:

“Ugh, I wish I could be thinner, curvier, have more boobs/butt, could change my nose, or be taller, …”

All of this hatred is exhausting! Wouldn’t be better to be able to find ourselves beautiful all the time, instead of worrying of what we look like just because we believe those old school (and BS) beauty standards?

Well, it is about really wanting to love our body and changing the perception we have of ourselves.

Set boundaries with others!

Some people are really good at feeding on your willingness to listen and care for them. When you let them do so, you end up feeling exhausted, overwhelmed, and physically distressed.

You have the right to say no, stop, and/or cut people out of your life if necessary.

This topic deserves a full article, so here is a fascinating blog that will help you set boundaries up. It also works with people who judge you, tell you how you should live your life, or even for your professional life if you feel you deserve a raise or have been asked to do too much for your position.

This is a really hard process, but damn, when you manage to do it, it feels amazing and removes a lot of pressure off your shoulders.

Like we said, it is a personal journey, but we hope those tips will help you to discover your badass-self 😎. And as usual, do not hesitate to share with us in comment if there is anything else you want to add!

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Dealing with Body Insecurities

The mind is powerful. It is capable of making you believe you see things a certain way and turn it into a fact. That's why, sometimes, you can feel some sort of weight on your heart just thinking about something you don't like about yourself. Maybe it developed over time or maybe your "friend" Jessica made one comment out of spite when you were in grade 5 and it just stuck with you until your thirties. 

All of these can make you see yourself and your body in a way that could be quite far from reality or could just affect the way you live your life. And in the end, it doesn't really matter how they got there. What matters is how you deal with them.

Here are 6 tips to help you say bye bye to your insecurities and start giving your body and mind some lovin'! 

1) Understand that the vision of your body is rarely accurate.

Many many MANY outside factors can affect the way you see your body. Stress, hormones, change in your routine, or diet, lack of sleep… All of these and many more can give you a heavily distorted vision of your appearance. The best favour you can do yourself is to remind yourself of this when you have having a shitty body day.

Body-dysmorphia is also extremely common among us. Go check out our blog post about it if you want to learn more.

2) Avoid comparing yourself to others. 

Comparing yourself to someone else is as easy as it is toxic, whether it is on a physical or a mental level. It's also very hard to stop once you get started.

So, if you catch yourself falling into this rabbit hole, remember that you do not know what is going on in someone's life, just like they don't know about yours, making it impossible to compare anything fairly.  So what's the point of even going down that road? All it is going to do is create pressure, unachievable goals and potential jealousy. And you don't have time for this, you have great things to do!

Put down your phone, stop creeping on people you barely know & learn to become your own measurement system. Base your growth on what YOU and only you can do.

You are the only person you have to be proud of and it is much easier to do when you don't have the noise coming from the outside world. 

3) If you can't give your body some love, focus on giving it appreciation. 

All of this beautiful talk about loving your body the way it is sounds amazing, but some days, you just can't. And it is okay. It happens to everyone, nobody can love themselves all the time. But instead of talking trash about yourself, focus on bringing some appreciation for what you body does for you, aside from its appearance.

For example, I used to spend so much time deprecating my arms. I found them too big, not feminine. And sometimes I still do. Except that now, when I catch myself spiralling again, I remind myself of what my arms allow me to do. Maybe I have bigger arms that what is considered "aesthetically pleasing" for women, even though this is a BS society standard that has no legs to stand on. But thanks to my "big” arms, I can carry my weight in the air like a circus ninja and around a pole and I wouldn't change this for the world.

This recipe works for absolutely everything. Every negative side comes with a positive one. You have the option to decide how to look at it.

I don't know about you, but focusing on the down side is a complete waste of time, counter productive, and is definitely not the way to build your happiness.

4) Learn to accept compliments

Ha, that's something we definitely noticed, especially with women. It is considered SO not humble to accept a compliment that you HAVE to counter it with something negative to balance it out. Does that ring a bell?

What if you just said "thank you” and appreciated the compliment instead? Oh, it will feel weird at first, but only because you are conditioned to go against it. Like above, practice makes perfect and no, it doesn't make you a superficial b*tch.

Also, Some studies have shown that it takes 5 positive comments to remove the impact of 1 negative one. What if we just opened our damn ears to the good ones?

Chances are, if you are surrounded by caring people, they have shown their love and honesty towards you. They may have even tried to convince you that your insecurity was untrue. Why not believe them?

5) Stop covering up

This one is more related to physical appearance. Instead of avoiding your body insecurities, challenge yourself by facing them. Don't try to hide them, it won't help.

You have to figure out a way to highlight them, to bring a new light and perspective so you can make peace with them.

For example: stopping yourself from wearing an outfit you really like is not the way to deal, quite the opposite. Don't let these insecurities win!

It doesn't have to be big challenges, you can start small! A random example would be, if you'd like to decrease the amount of makeup you use, you can start by staying makeup free at home before taking it outside. Or even, lighten your makeup one day at a time…

It doesn't matter how big the step is, what matters is that you take it.

6) Explore your sensuality.

Learning to embrace your sensuality is a way to start feeling in harmony with your body to find peace and confidence. And if you are thinking you are as sensual as a kitchen pot then you definitely need to keep reading: we ALL have the potential to be sensual. Period. Which means you too, you just need a little more practice!

Your body needs to move and be acknowledged. Use that energy, that fire you have within you: dance, hug yourself, wear clothes that make you feel sexy, try new makeup or hairstyle…. Check out our blog post about sensuality for extra info!

Body love and appreciation is hard, just like creating any positive habits. But you are just as capable as your next door neighbour to do this. Is it a little finicky at first? Yes. Will you feel a bit silly to begin? Yes. But is it worth it? Damn right. You should be your own best-friend, after all, you are here for the long-run with yourself, right?!

Treat yourself with kindness, you are pretty awesome.

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Stop limiting yourself

If there is one truth in life, it is that we have all grown up following pre-selected ideas and standards. You, me, your parents, your friends, everyone, we have all been conditioned a certain way. While there is nothing wrong with that, it doesn't come only with positive or neutral outcomes, it also creates limiting beliefs.

If you think you don't have some, read the 5 main ones below and we can guarantee you will recognize yourself in at least one of them. The good news is that, if you are aware of them, you can start beating the crap out of them.

This blog post is based on an awesome French podcast. We have been implementing this topic with Scandaleuse since day 1 and this podcast sums it up beautifully.

What are limiting beliefs?

To make it simple, they are a kind of mental beliefs that defines how you act, make decisions, work, interact with people, even how to eat. You are 100% certain they are true and even, universal.

So far, it is pretty neutral.

Those turn into limiting beliefs the minute they become obstacles and are holding you back from reaching any goals you'd like, big or small.

Have you ever thought you couldn't or shouldn’t do something without an actual reason (aka: you will die if you do this or will deliberately hurt someone) ? Maybe out of fear or thinking it is not politically correct?

There you have it: you are facing your own limiting belief. The truth is: limiting beliefs are often based on a distorted and subjective reality.

The 5 big limiting behaviors:

1) Confusion:

You want to do everything and try anything and you are well aware of that. You have a lot of passions and interests and that's pretty great: you are just not afraid of taking on anything and a lot of people are blocked by the step from the get-go.

However, here is the trick: you don't stay in place long enough to persevere whatever you start. You end up switching tasks before being able to see actual results. This is often connected to impatience and short-term vision.

How to kick its butt:
Try to work on your patience and long-term vision: there are always positive outcomes out of a new activity, but you may not be able to see them right away. Trying setting deadlines away from the immediate future, aim for 6 months for example.

You are more than capable to create those results. Every single step counts and baby steps turn into a much bigger result if you stick to them.

2) Dissonance:

You want to start a new project, an idea, even a relationship but once you do it, you are gonna find an excuses and obstacles to stop it. You are mastering the self-sabotage.

This is connected to a lack of self-confidence and fear of disappointment and even pain.

Let's rip off the bandaid: you don't trust that you deserve something good and that shit will hit the fan no matter what, so you might as well step out and stay in your comfort-zone, even it it gets uncomfortable.

How to go all “FATALITY”on this:
It's going to be very interesting to try not to take anything personally and see every little obstacles that happen as challenges. Instead of seeing them as a sign to stop whatever it is you are doing, see them as lessons to learn so you can grow.

If you really look at it: your comfort zone has changed without you noticing anyway (you don't have the same routine as when you are 14 years-old right?) So there is no reason to stop your growth.

3) Lack of clarity

You have very vague objectives. This one is probably the biggest for me and I have been working on this. This is mostly connected to a fear of failure. You end up asking yourself why something is not working for you, while not setting yourself up for success.

How to “bye Felicia”-d it:
Instead of asking yourself WHY something isn't working, ask yourself HOW you can make this work for me?

Ask yourself the good questions, practice letting go of your fears of dreaming big and set strategies by having objectives you can measure, so you can see concrete progress.

4) Perfectionist

That's a pretty common one and I was also guilty of this before opening Scandaleuse. Starting a business has always been a dream of mine since I was little but I felt like needed to know everything and it needed to be perfect before even starting it.

I never felt ready enough and thought I needed to learn more constantly. How did I end up starting Scandaleuse with Fanny? Well the universe threw me a couple of really crappy bosses in the span of 3 years to force me out of the standard employee path and work for myself.

Of course, it is good to gather information and prepare, especially before starting a life-changing project but when it just ends up pushing back the start date, it's not doing you any good.

You're not gonna jump in the water without knowing how to swim a minimum. But you don't need an olympic medal in swimming before setting your toes in water.

This is connected to a fear of lacking competence (hello impostor syndrom) or even a fear of hurting people (eg: not leaving someone because it’s not the good time for them.)

How to kick it out of you (without waiting for terrible managers for years):
Understand that the perfect moment doesn't exist and you have to create it. Read that again. It's time to roll up your sleeves and tell yourself you are ready NOW.

5) People pleaser.

People's wishes are your command. You never really ask yourself what YOU want. You hate confrontations and conflicts, you don’t know how to stand up for yourself and set your boundaries.

This is a direct line to the need to feel loved and appreciated at the cost of your own identity. You want to feel needed and are terrified of other people's opinions about you.

How to go all “Kill Bill” on it:
Understand that it is not other people's opinions that are gonna hurt you, it is the stories you make up to yourself about those. People's judgement is not about you, it is about themselves.

Live according to your values. Not everyone is gonna agree with you, it is just impossible. By owning your opinions and values, you will attract people who share and respect them. And that is how you grow too because you start creating self-validation instead of needed it from others.

So now, which one are you?

Let us know if this blog inspires you to kick your limiting beliefs to the curb and how you plan to do so!

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First it hurts, then it changes you.

This post is a part of our series “If I Had Listened", in which we're reached out to strong-minded women we admire to tell us about a moment they chose to trust their gut and follow a different path despite other people's opinion. Read more on the blog!

If I had listened to the thoughts of doubt and negativity in my head, I would have never had the courage to reinvent my life.

There’s something to be said about being forced to move on from a relationship that I knew wasn’t working and gaining the courage to start a whole new life that wasn’t in my plans.   

I started the journey of self reinvention at the age of 39 shortly after I received my walking papers from my ex wife. I didn’t move on gracefully.  The relationship hadn’t been working for a long time really so it shouldn’t have been a surprise.  On the outside it looked like I had it all; the great career, a large home, fancy car - the works. But, inside I was empty and unfulfilled. The scariest part was leaving behind this comfortable life that I had built. Would I ever find love again at my age? How was I going to start over as I approached midlife?

A few months into my newly single life I left the pitty party behind and began to refocus on myself. I now had the chance to  live a more authentic existence and I vowed that I would get it right this time around.

What did this mean? Happiness. I was no longer going to do things or be with anyone that would make me unhappy. It was time to get comfortable being uncomfortable.

At the age of 40 I left my high paying corporate job to do something that filled my heart rather than my pockets. I tried new things. I took better care of myself mentally and physically. I travelled on my own. I met the love of my life while on vacation and moved to another province to be with her. I went back to school to learn new skills and another language. A baby soon followed at the age of 42.

I now have a supportive partner who is in love with me and is proud to be by my side. I have my own business doing something that I love. I speak another language and I'm a proud mom of a 2.5 year old daughter that dances like nobody's watching. She's magic. My life is magic. Midlife is magic.

There is this saying that I love and it says “First it hurts, then it changes you.” It’s amazing how allowing yourself to feel and own the pain of hurt or disappointment can change your life for the better.

I’m now a 45 year old sex positive, body positive, queer woman who is living her best life. I celebrate my perfectly imperfect body because it can move and I’m healthy. I nurtured and birthed another human being with 42 year old eggs. How magical and awesome is that? 

Because the process of life reinvention has made me a more courageous and confident person, I decided to start a blog. The goal of this blog is to empower and inspire other midlife moms who feel like they’re undesirable, lost and losing time to rediscover and reinvent themselves. Just like I did.

I once thought that I was too old to start over. I soon realized that even if I had only one day left on this earth, I’d rather spend it happy than with sadness and regret.

People like to say that life is short. It’s really not. Life is long and at midlife you have so much life to live. Why live the rest of your life unhappy when you can live everyday celebrating it?

If I had listened to the negative thoughts in my head that told me I was too old to start over again, I would have never had the courage to reinvent my life for the better. Tackling the fear of the uncomfortable is what lead me to the bliss.

5 things you DON'T have to do once the quarantine is over

After spending an average of 2 months at home while the world is finding a new balance, our everyday life is slowly gonna merge into a new normal.

This unusual experience has been the best opportunity to reflect on what you have, what you want, and who you do things for. You don't have to stop this journey now to jump back into what you used to do.

A new routine is on the verge of emerging and with it comes a new opportunity: making it yours.

Here are 7 things you do NOT have to do once the quarantine is fully over:

1) Go on a diet

If you didn't jump on the train of “LET'S WORK OUT EVERYDAY NOW THAT WE HAVE TIME WOOHOOO” and feel like you got a little cushy: so be it. Don’t beat yourself up, don't put pressure on yourself to lose weight and get fit now that you have to go back to the real world. Everything will rebalance itself with time and that's A-OKAY.

2) Wear uncomfortable clothing (and bras)

We see people joking about having to put jeans back on. What if you didn't? We live in a great era when you can find professional looking clothing that is still comfortable, take advantage of it! And ladies, if your bras are uncomfortable as hell and you ditched them during your time at home: leave them in the drawer. Keep your no-bra habit or replace them with comfortable bralettes. It's about damn time the world stops getting shocked by a slightly showing nipples.

3) Planning on staying at the job you don’t like.

Sometimes, you are so caught-up in your routine that you don’t stop and think if this is really for you. You go to your job because you have to, not because you want to. You ignore your inner voice to get the hell out. But with the quarantine, you ended up with a much bigger amount of time to think. If the thought of going back to work makes you feel sick, it is time to plan your exit strategy and act on it.

4) Buying excessively

Stores were closed, toilet paper was missing for a while, we had to focus on what was essential in our lives. Maybe you even Marie Kondo-d the crap out of your home. Don’t jump back on the intense shopping spree to buy things you don't need. You will help yourself by keeping your space and mind clear and help our planet by decreasing waste at the same time.

5) Wear makeup, Wax, Microblade, do your Nails, get Extensions of anything

Ask yourself: who were you doing all these things for? If the answer is because it makes you feel good: knock yourself out. But if you were dreading those times to begin with only to follow some outside expectations: just stop. You don't have to prove anything to anyone. You just have to do good by YOU.

On the contrary, here are some things you should do once you are back out there:

1) Implement those great self-care habits you put in place

You started yoga everyday and it makes you feel so good? Make time for it in your schedule. You found yourself a new passion for baking or cooking? Fit it in there too. Those are happy habits and they need to stay for your own wellbeing.

2) Make time to connect with your loved ones

Did you take your family and close friends for granted while living your busy life? (don't feel bad, we all do at some point in our lives) Well, everyone was pretty much away from everyone during the lockdown. Time to give some lovin' to the relationships you care about.

3) don't beat yourself up if you got caught up again in the life tornado.

If you find yourself thinking “I don't have time for that anymore/ what if I can’t make time for this?/I messed up.” take a deeeeeep breath and re-center. You don’t have to have a perfect record. Just develop your ability to take a step back and re-adjust your life.

You have spent so much time with yourself, your desires and wishes, it's not to forget it once we all go back to “normal". Treat yourself and others with kindness, focus on what you want for YOU. And if you need a little help, our Limitless Program is right here for you.

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Our new concept

Since day 1, we have always said that Scandaleuse was not about just beautiful photographs. A lot of you have experienced it since we first opened in 2015. We are now taking one more step to bring it out even more.

Scandaleuse is growing and changing, and we couldn't be happier.

Join us on November 13th to celebrate and find out what we have been working on for all these months…

Policing Black women’s hair has been a constant battle many of us have faced.

This post is a part of our series “If I Had Listened", in which we're reached out to strong-minded women we admire to tell us about a moment they chose to trust their gut and follow a different path despite other people's opinion.

If I had listened, I wouldn’t have cut my hair.

I have always played it safe.
Always.

As women, we have been conditioned to believe that long hair is a sign of our femininity. Especially as a Black woman, our hair is sacred. There are so many stories and beautiful memories we have of our individual hair journeys. Unfortunately, there are moments in our stories that aren’t pleasant.

Policing Black women’s hair has been a constant battle many of us have faced.

I remember feeling so excited to get my hair done but then secretly worrying about getting asked questions like “Is your hair real? Why do you change it so often? Can you wash it like normal hair?” Once someone told me, “you can't keep changing your hair like that. It makes you look unprofessional.”

For far too long, I listened. I played it safe. And because I was listening, I was holding myself back from being the sexiest, happiest, and most confident version of myself. 

I never cared much about Rihanna, but I loved how she rocked her hair. At one point she cut it short and I remember my eyes felt like they were falling out of my head because I SO wanted to do that. But I didn’t. Why? For starters, my mom didn’t think it was a good idea. Like I mentioned before, long hair is a sign of being a sensual woman and short hair to some means your edgy, reckless, wild, etc.

3 years later I moved out with my boyfriend. I posted a picture on Instagram of my hair pinned back and I got so many compliments. The one that stood out, encouraged me to make the biggest hair decision ever. “OMG! Did you cut your hair? It looks amazing!”

I remember that moment so clearly. I instantly started scrolling through Instagram for some hair inspiration and came across ‘The Cutlife’. I was freaking out!

I saw so many beautiful Black women with short hair. Fades, bobs, bald...these were my people! Without hesitation, I found the first stylist available and booked an appointment to cut my hair.

There was something so incredibly liberating about feeling my hair fall on my cape. I felt like a butterfly coming out of its cocoon.

Unfortunately, she totally botched it but when I did find the right stylist to fix it, I saw a woman in the mirror I fell so in love with.

My hair has become a signature component of my brand. I feel free, fun, confident, and powerful. To maintain its freshness, it must be cut every week!

If I had listened to what others had to say about women with short hair, I truly don’t believe I would be the version of myself I am today. If you’re reading this and have been debating to try a new look but question if it’s professional enough or to society’s standards, listen to me when I say FORGET WHAT THEY HAVE TO SAY! DO YOU! BE YOU! AND LOVE YOU!

You’ll thank yourself later.

I had this constant fear preventing me from actually living. If I died tomorrow, what would be my regrets?

This post is a part of our series “If I Had Listened", in which we're reached out to strong-minded women we admire to tell us about a moment they chose to trust their gut and follow a different path despite other people's opinion. Read them all!

If I had listened, I would never have become the woman I am today.

I am a stubborn person who has the unfortunate habit of listening to her intuition and taking risks. That's why I decided to write three situations when I chose to listen to myself rather than follow a logical path. Those ended up being the most decisive moments in my life.

When I left the family home

I come from a family where work is more important than anything else. My mother found me my first job as a maid in a hotel at 15 years old and I stayed there for over 8 years.

All family discussions revolved around this hotel. I was so unhappy for so long, my life became more unbearable every day.

I was too afraid of my parents’ reaction if I were to leave that I had to find a way to avoid justifying myself. I had to leave my home.

I didn’t have much money or furniture other than what was in my room. In order to quickly raise funds for my project, I sold my car and shared a place with a friend. I moved out in February 1999 and in April 2000 I left my job. The year following this decision was even more difficult. I was working part-time in a clothing store, but, I was "FREE".

Free from the pressure of my parents, free from work that made me sick, but most importantly, free to do what I wanted to do and free to become everything I wanted. I never regretted this decision and my parents finally understood that I wanted other things in my life.

When I got my heart broken and lost a friend

Around the same time, I got my heart broken. I am aware now that it was mostly because of my fear, my low self-esteem and lack of experience. He didn’t only break my heart into a million pieces, but it also made me physically sick.

Fear was my biggest enemy. It prevented me from having a beautiful story to share and fulfilling this dream of having someone close to me, even for a moment.

To top it all off, I also lost a dear friend. A man who, the first night of his retirement, died of an aneurysm. He had worked all his life to support his family, whom he didn’t see very often because he was so dedicated to his job. The days before his death, he told me how eager he was to rest, to "cut wood" at his cottage, take time for his family, and so on. He didn’t even have the chance to live one of those moments because he died just before. It was a wake-up call.

I was Working non-stop, doing exactly what was expected of me and I had this constant fear preventing me from actually living. If I died tomorrow, what would be my regrets?

I had way too many dreams to be yet fulfilled so I decided to take care of myself. I moved alone in my own apartment and I found a job that would allow me to achieve two of my three greatest dreams, sing and travel.

The third, finding my life partner is still a dream. The lifestyle choices I made so far haven't led me there yet, I hope to get there someday.

When I Left my roots, my family and my friends.

In my mid-30s, I felt like I was going around in circles. Even though I had been told that I had everything I needed to be happy, I felt the thirst for life

The anger that often gave me the boost I needed to move forward was getting stronger on a daily basis. It was time to make a decision and I decided to leave everything behind.

I left my family, my friends and my job aka financial safety net, just because I needed to see what was on the other side of the fence. It was tough, especially on the social aspect: at 35, you can’t create a social network as easily as in your 20's but, I didn’t give up and worked hard to build a life for myself. It's been 8 years since I left my roots and I have never regretted it.

Life challenges us every day but I like to create mine. It's weird isn’t it? It’s as if the events of everyday life were not enough for me.

People often think and plan their major life events such as their wedding or the birth of their child with a good idea of ​​what they want. Me, I only know two things. The song at my funeral is going to be Franck Sinatra's "My Way" and my funeral epitaph will look like "Thanks my God, it's finally over, thank you for not waking me up."

VIDEO | Is it wrong to want to feel sexy?

Short answer: Absolutely not.

The truth is: there shouldn’t be anything wrong with the word “sexy” nowadays since it can mean a lot of different things. It is perfectly normal to want to sexy, and you can learn why in the video below:

Don’t be scared to say it out loud, sexy beast!

Camera Roll - April 2018

We made April rhyme with ORGANIZATION. We managed to do SO many cool things in the span of 4 weeks, I feel like we deserve a solid high five here.

We caught our creativity back with Jessie Lam & Carla Catherwood

Remember, we wrote a post about how we were feeling in a funk because we were so caught up in administration duties. We were lucky to meet two beautiful ladies and create very cool shoots with them. Jessie Lam is a yoga master who let us cover her in flower and Carla Catherwood is the fantastic CEO of Army Of Sass and we made her fly.

ChoqFm welcomed us in their studio

We had the great opportunity to talk on the radio with ChoqFm and it was played every day for a week during rush hour, and that was pretty sweet. Thank you Ami for this! (Interview in French)

We got our first branded goodies!

Deanna Colosimo, our illustrator extraordinaire, striked again and helped us create our first branded tote bags. We are so thankful and we feel so proud to walk around with our Scandaleuse tote bags. Thank you Deanna!

We hosted our first bridal workshop: So you're Engaged, now what?

After weeks and weeks of putting this together, we finally made it to the big day with our wedding division. We rolled up our sleeves, gather a great team of vendors, gathered our courage and spoke in public again. It wasn't easy, a lot of sleepless nights were involved but these split seconds of intense pride watching everything getting together because of us were magical. The after-show wine was the best ever.

The Boudoir Circus got new babies!

After the aerial silks, we got a chance to capture aerial hoop, chains & contorsion with 3 stunning ladies. Can't wait to show you all of these!

We started vlogging and the first two are out!

I have a more or less secret passion for vlogs and it was about time we did our own. It gives you a chance to get to know us a little better and , honestly, even though they're not perfect, I am so glad we did it, they make such a great keepsake of our adventures

France, here we come!

We are starting to plan a trip to France to meet all of our French Scandals! And while this is just at the "let's figure it out" stage, we are getting pretty excited and are really hoping to make it work!

Can't wait to see what May has in stock for us. The one thing we know, is that we're ready. And we're going on girl road trip at some point.

Thank you for your support, couldn't happen without you!

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How I Met My Business Partner

Episode 1 : From Paris to London.

Hello Little Scandals,

Juliette here! As you know, there are two Scandals-en-chef behind Scandaleuse. Fanny and I are lucky to have a rare relationship. A very strong bond that was built over the years. Not to say that we agree on everything, we are not Barbie dolls surrounded by unicorns, but we have been pretty lucky to find each other.

So that's the story for today: how we met.

(Fanny doesn't know I am writing this at the moment. Surprise!)

2012, and already taking lingerie photos....

Paris, September 2009. I am 17, Fanny is 19. I am from the middle of nowhere in the North of France and Fanny grew up in Paris' suburbs. We officially met for the first time when both of us sign up for Photography school in Northern Paris. Two young women trying to chase their dreams and learn the craft that Photography is.

The first things I remember about Fanny are:
• She was ALWAYS wearing heels
• She had to have her coffee from that crappy machine we had in the hall multiple times a day.
• Her nails were different color every week. Like seriously, that was the fun fact of every other Monday.

I felt like she was such a grown-up compared to me & my black nails, because y'know I am rock'n'roll.

We spent the first year of school becoming friends but nothing crazy. We both had other girls we bonded with. Turns out both of these lovely girls ended up leaving after the first year and Fanny and I kept going for the second part of the program.

I guess this is when we started becoming close. I was slowly struggling with this school that I didn't like, seeing Fanny was pretty much the only thing that made me go. We modelled for each other's assignments. We did random shoots when no one was taking care of us.

She was always game to follow my crazy ideas of creating dresses out of curtains and go shoot in a public park in Paris.

Yep, this was one of first sessions!

#artplease

I wanted more than the school. I wanted to travel. I didn't go through the program and didn't do the last year. Fanny kept going and I found another school than led me to London to work as an assistant for a photographer there.

Surprisingly, my leaving made us stronger than ever. Over the span of 8 months, I did my internship and went back home. Fanny had that tickle to travel then and I desperately wanted to go back to London. "You should come with me" I told her one day on October 2012.

Later that month, I got a phone call:

"I am coming with you, let's do it" she said.

Tickets were bought the same day, we packed our bags and left two weeks after.

The day we left for London with 3000 bags.

To this day, the moment when both Fanny and I were in the Eurostar, on the way to London-St-Pancras, is one of the most powerful moments of my life. We were both very serene. We were doing something kind of crazy, leaving our friends and family behind, to go to a city Fanny didn't know and I was barely familiar with. City where people speak another language we didn't really know. No jobs, no apartments, just our thirst for adventure. Yet everything felt like it was meant to be.

After writing this, I realize than we are going to need at least another post to tell you guys how we ended up in Toronto.

Stay tuned Little Scandals.

I had to end this blog post with some vintage pictures of us. Here we go, yours truly!

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Show Us Your Tats - Betty LaBourbon

Betty was one of the first participants to Show Us Your Tats. We fell in love with her retro look that makes you want to buy anything babydoll looking you can find. We loved her even more when she agreed to get in the water with us at Cherry Beach, with a thousand dogs (and their owners) staring at us. 

Who are you?

Betty LaBourbon,  burlesque performer based out of Toronto. My classic pin up style is the cherry on top of my electric performances, both as a solo performer and as part of the Femme Diagrams burlesque troupe.

Let's talk tattoos

I have 4 tattoos. The oldest is a maple leaf on the small of my back that was done for my 16th birthday. It was done in a small town shop outside of the city. My black widow was to remind me that I am strong in my own right, and was done by a friend. I have a Winnie the Pooh memorial piece for a family member who passed away. And I have a burned branch with my family's crest to keep me connected to my past. Those two were both done at Tat-a-rama in Etobicoke. So far that has been my favorite shop that I have visited in Toronto.

What was the time and budget allocated for each piece?

The maple leaf was maybe $100, it is not very big and it was done outside of the city many years ago. It was only maybe a half an hour to complete.

The black widow was even less than that since it was done by a friend who was an apprentice at the time. Again, it didn't take very long, maybe 20 minutes.

The branch took quite a bit longer, about 2 hours. It cost almost $300, and I gave the artist a good tip as well because he did an excellent job.

The Winnie the Pooh piece was maybe an hour and a half, and cost about $250, but again, I gave the artist, Joe Berry, a tip because, again, the artists at this shop do excellent work. I'm very picky because I either design my own tattoos, or have very clear ideas about what I want, so I need to work with artists who are willing to listen, and not all about their own ego and personal style.

Is the tattoo fever going to strike again?

Ooh absolutely! Tattooing is a great way to celebrate and remember important things, events, people. I have maybe 3 more planned, but I'm sure more ideas will come to me as time goes on.

Is there something you wish you had known before getting tattooed?

I did a lot of research before getting my first tattoo. I had to as a requirement before my parents would sign the consent forms! But I didn't realize it was going to be such a spiritual experience. You have an image that means something so personal to you that you want to carve it into your body. You sacrifice blood and pain for this image to be with you forever. That is an incredibly intense experience. And for me it became very spiritual. A way to give back to the universe for lessons learned or gifts received. I still feel that way every time I go under the needle.

How did you immediate family/circle of friends react?

My family has always been ok with tattoos. Both of my parents have them, and since I was so young when I got my first one, I needed their consent before it could be done! Strangely enough, my nose piercing caused more issue than any of my tattoos have! As for my friends, it was never an issue, either good or bad. They all wanted to hear about it, and teased me about going through the pain, but no one really seemed to consider it much beyond that. It's become very normalized in our culture I suppose.

The Deets

Tat-a-rama in Etobicoke | @tatarama.
Joe Berry | @joe_b_tattoos

Find Betty

Her Instagram | Her Facebook