We were very tempted to write “badass-self” because for us it has such a powerful meaning. But apparently the definition of BADASS is not super positive, so let’s go with MAGNIFICENT!
It is no secret that when you feel confident about yourself, you achieve more and are less afraid to do things in general. Wouldn’t be amazing to be able to put our self-doubt in the garbage and feel confident all the time? Hell yes!
You build confidence by being and doing!
Confidence comes in waves, and it takes practice to keep it up. It follows our emotions and gets triggered every time we face failures, disappointments, and frustration. On top of that, the media and people can also make our confidence drops if we pay too much attention to the external noises (*cough: people’s judgment).
To avoid those negative feelings and make sure you stay confident in your life, you have to live it by your own rules and make sure you stay true to yourself (it’s time to stop being a people pleaser, for example). If you are thinking:
“Ok ladies, you are right in theory, but all of this sounds vague to me. How do you stay authentic when you are not sure of who you are or what you want to begin with?!”.
We get that feeling of confusion as we have been there. And honestly, it still happens now and then because Juliette and I never really settle for an easy and quiet life. The more you experience life, the more you grow, therefore you constantly reevaluate who you are. It can be tiring, but is always exhilarating.
Even if those self-discovery journeys are very personal, we want to share with you what have been working for us so far and the values that we think are important in order to stay authentic to ourselves:
Stop fearing what people think of you!
Let’s start with this, as this is the most common reason that stops people from being themselves: others.
There are two things you need to understand, and we wish someone had told us that when we were teenagers… It would have changed a lot of things for Juliette and me:
People will always judge you. It doesn’t matter how you dress up, if you are a good or a bad person, what you do for a living, or how you live your life, someone will always disagree with your choices. It is IMPOSSIBLE TO PLEASE EVERYONE.
People project their own limits on you. How many times have people told you you will never be able to make one of your dream come true? Many times right! They don’t believe you can make it because they cannot do it themselves. Their opinion of you is based on their own experiences, limits, fears, and failures.
Isn’t it mind-blowing? This is why what people think of you is not important. You will never be happy if you let people dictate your life.
Don’t take life too seriously!
Who said that because we are adults we cannot let our inner child out and play without worrying of what others will think? It is sad to want to do something but stop ourselves from doing it because it is not proper or acceptable as an adult.
We say “fuck it!”. Dance like nobody is watching, go twirl under the rain, laugh and cry, make noises or a little dance when you eat something delicious, believe in fairies and mermaids if you want to…
Having a huge imagination and being silly doesn’t make you less of an adult, but it will for sure make you feel more relax and happier.
Do things that make you feel proud of yourself…
… and don’t hide it from others (yes, even if you are afraid those activities are inappropriate for your age, gender, or profession).
As boudoir photographers, we hear it often from our clients who do a shoot but don’t want to show their pictures to anyone in case people might think it is too sexy or slutty. No one has the right to judge when it comes to personal choices and preferences.
So go take those sexy pictures, the pole dance class you have been dreaming of, or go buy that outfit that is calling your name even though it is too short, colourful, or sparkly.
As long as you feel good about it, it is all that matters!
Embrace your beautiful-self!
And learn to love your body the way it is! See your body as your friend and stop throwing hate at it. We, women especially, are too focused on the part of our body we don’t like:
“Ugh, I wish I could be thinner, curvier, have more boobs/butt, could change my nose, or be taller, …”
All of this hatred is exhausting! Wouldn’t be better to be able to find ourselves beautiful all the time, instead of worrying of what we look like just because we believe those old school (and BS) beauty standards?
Well, it is about really wanting to love our body and changing the perception we have of ourselves.
Set boundaries with others!
Some people are really good at feeding on your willingness to listen and care for them. When you let them do so, you end up feeling exhausted, overwhelmed, and physically distressed.
You have the right to say no, stop, and/or cut people out of your life if necessary.
This topic deserves a full article, so here is a fascinating blog that will help you set boundaries up. It also works with people who judge you, tell you how you should live your life, or even for your professional life if you feel you deserve a raise or have been asked to do too much for your position.
This is a really hard process, but damn, when you manage to do it, it feels amazing and removes a lot of pressure off your shoulders.
Like we said, it is a personal journey, but we hope those tips will help you to discover your badass-self 😎. And as usual, do not hesitate to share with us in comment if there is anything else you want to add!
