How To Be Your Most Magnificent-Self

We were very tempted to write “badass-self” because for us it has such a powerful meaning. But apparently the definition of BADASS is not super positive, so let’s go with MAGNIFICENT!

It is no secret that when you feel confident about yourself, you achieve more and are less afraid to do things in general. Wouldn’t be amazing to be able to put our self-doubt in the garbage and feel confident all the time? Hell yes!

You build confidence by being and doing!

Confidence comes in waves, and it takes practice to keep it up. It follows our emotions and gets triggered every time we face failures, disappointments, and frustration. On top of that, the media and people can also make our confidence drops if we pay too much attention to the external noises (*cough: people’s judgment).

To avoid those negative feelings and make sure you stay confident in your life, you have to live it by your own rules and make sure you stay true to yourself (it’s time to stop being a people pleaser, for example). If you are thinking:

“Ok ladies, you are right in theory, but all of this sounds vague to me. How do you stay authentic when you are not sure of who you are or what you want to begin with?!”.

We get that feeling of confusion as we have been there. And honestly, it still happens now and then because Juliette and I never really settle for an easy and quiet life. The more you experience life, the more you grow, therefore you constantly reevaluate who you are. It can be tiring, but is always exhilarating.

Even if those self-discovery journeys are very personal, we want to share with you what have been working for us so far and the values that we think are important in order to stay authentic to ourselves:

Stop fearing what people think of you!

Let’s start with this, as this is the most common reason that stops people from being themselves: others.

There are two things you need to understand, and we wish someone had told us that when we were teenagers… It would have changed a lot of things for Juliette and me:

• People will always judge you. It doesn’t matter how you dress up, if you are a good or a bad person, what you do for a living, or how you live your life, someone will always disagree with your choices. It is IMPOSSIBLE TO PLEASE EVERYONE.

• People project their own limits on you. How many times have people told you you will never be able to make one of your dream come true? Many times right! They don’t believe you can make it because they cannot do it themselves. Their opinion of you is based on their own experiences, limits, fears, and failures.

Isn’t it mind-blowing? This is why what people think of you is not important. You will never be happy if you let people dictate your life.

Don’t take life too seriously!

Who said that because we are adults we cannot let our inner child out and play without worrying of what others will think? It is sad to want to do something but stop ourselves from doing it because it is not proper or acceptable as an adult.

We say “fuck it!”. Dance like nobody is watching, go twirl under the rain, laugh and cry, make noises or a little dance when you eat something delicious, believe in fairies and mermaids if you want to…

Having a huge imagination and being silly doesn’t make you less of an adult, but it will for sure make you feel more relax and happier.

via GIPHY

Do things that make you feel proud of yourself…

… and don’t hide it from others (yes, even if you are afraid those activities are inappropriate for your age, gender, or profession).

As boudoir photographers, we hear it often from our clients who do a shoot but don’t want to show their pictures to anyone in case people might think it is too sexy or slutty. No one has the right to judge when it comes to personal choices and preferences.

So go take those sexy pictures, the pole dance class you have been dreaming of, or go buy that outfit that is calling your name even though it is too short, colourful, or sparkly.

As long as you feel good about it, it is all that matters!

Embrace your beautiful-self!

And learn to love your body the way it is! See your body as your friend and stop throwing hate at it. We, women especially, are too focused on the part of our body we don’t like:

“Ugh, I wish I could be thinner, curvier, have more boobs/butt, could change my nose, or be taller, …”

All of this hatred is exhausting! Wouldn’t be better to be able to find ourselves beautiful all the time, instead of worrying of what we look like just because we believe those old school (and BS) beauty standards?

Well, it is about really wanting to love our body and changing the perception we have of ourselves.

Set boundaries with others!

Some people are really good at feeding on your willingness to listen and care for them. When you let them do so, you end up feeling exhausted, overwhelmed, and physically distressed.

You have the right to say no, stop, and/or cut people out of your life if necessary.

This topic deserves a full article, so here is a fascinating blog that will help you set boundaries up. It also works with people who judge you, tell you how you should live your life, or even for your professional life if you feel you deserve a raise or have been asked to do too much for your position.

This is a really hard process, but damn, when you manage to do it, it feels amazing and removes a lot of pressure off your shoulders.

Like we said, it is a personal journey, but we hope those tips will help you to discover your badass-self 😎. And as usual, do not hesitate to share with us in comment if there is anything else you want to add!

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The Day I Said "F*** IT"

Not too long ago, I found an old diary of 13-year-old Juliette. Diary in which I wrote a table with my physical qualities and flaws. My flaws list was off the charts, ridiculously detailed and my quality one had one random item that I put just to write a little something there.

I used to dodge my reflection in the mirror. Maybe it sounds odd to you, after all, you have seen us pretty much half naked on our ads shamelessly and we say loud and clear how you should love and be proud of yourself.

But yeah, I used to dodge mirrors on a daily basis and I don't anymore. And you shouldn't either.

Never good enough: The teenaged years b*llshit

I feel like everyone's insecurities started when they were teenagers or younger. Probably because kids can be total jerks with each other. I had never noticed that I had a bit of a belly, or that my chest was absolutely flat until some girls told me. Then, it just echoed and became a part of me.

So, of course, teenaged Juliette started random diets while feeling like crap. Did I lose weight? Yes I did. But I developed body-dysmorphia very sneakily, mostly by seeing myself much bigger than I actually was for years. At now 30-something, I still deal with those kind of episodes here and there and I do believe it will always be a part of me.

I wrote another blog post about this specific topic over here, if you'd like to save this one for later.

Pretty much when I started being called "Fat".

When I was finally out for high school and went to Paris to study Photography (when I met Fanny!), it hit me: why am I making myself feel like that over some stupid comments from people I didn't even care about from years ago?

So I just decided to say "F*** It" and I gave myself a chance.

I gave myself a chance to first be okay with how I looked. Bit by bit. You can't just wake up one day and feel gorgeous after feeling the opposite for so long.

One of the first changes I implemented was to stop comparing myself to others and thinking they were a little evil because they looked so good. Instead, I started looking for people I could relate to, and people who inspired me for fashion, makeup, attitude, you name it. I experimented different looks until I felt comfortable, and until I simply felt like myself. I was careful by removing people that felt way too far out of reach as I knew how easy it could be to fall back into the comparison trap over fictional lives.

My next move was to stop giving that much importance to the negative comments from a minority of people and to open my ears to all of the positive ones that I was getting from people who matter. It is incredibly easy to ignore those. We often say it takes 5 good comments to remove a bad one, but it doesn't have to be that way.

I also stopped hiding my “flaws” to the best of my ability with very simple things. One example I can think of is the fact that I don't wear bras anymore. Me and my tiny boobies used to wear those (very uncomfortable) push-up bras and it just made it worse in my journey of liking myself. When I stopped wearing bras at home, I actually got used to just seeing my breasts the way they are, so much so that they actually became pretty to me over time. I enjoy the freedom of it so much now, those nasty bras retired years ago.

Last but definitely not least as it shaped my entire career: I challenged myself to take self-portraits. My face, my body. I created my little world just for myself at the beginning at first. Then it made me so proud that I felt confident enough to show them to others too. And even better, I started doing it for other people.

Working as a boudoir photographer has helped me tremendously as we use ourselves for marketing purpose for Scandaleuse and are showing pretty much everything. Being a hypocrite wasn't an option for me: I couldn't offer a service I wasn't comfortable with myself. That fear was stronger than my original insecurities, which made it easier to fight.

Meanwhile, Fanny was doing it too. That's probably why, when we sat down a few years ago to talk about what we could build together, we naturally went towards boudoir. To show you how good you look when you feel vulnerable. To show you how beautiful we see you. Yes you.

And now?

I am not here to tell you that my insecurities vanished. Like mentioned earlier, some will always be part of me and that's okay. I have learnt however to manage them by figuring out what my triggers are. For example, a simple change of routine can set me up for a week of body-dysmorphia. Knowing this fact makes it easier to detach and let it be, because I know it will pass when I just get back to my usual moves.

It's okay not to feel okay today, you'll feel better tomorrow.

If you feel crappy about yourself, I am giving you a virtual hug and I am telling you that everything is going to be okay. Don't let that win. Do not stay in the dark if it gets worse and worse, seeking help is not something to be ashamed of.

And if you are looking to throw your insecurities down the drain where they belong, book a boudoir session already (and get 10% off until oct 31st!)

“I’ll do a shoot when I will have the perfect body!”

The following is the most common reason that stops people from trying a boudoir shoot (honestly, if someone were to give us a loony every time we heard that sentence, we will be rich by now 💰), and it usually goes like this:

“I want to do a shoot so badly but I need to lose weight first!”

NO YOU DON’T NEED TO. You don’t need to look thinner, you don’t need to be more muscular, you don’t need to go through plastic surgery.

Don’t get us wrong, if for example your goal is to do a boudoir-fitness shoot then of course you will want to showcase your muscles. But if you want to do a shoot for yourself, to feel more confident and sensual, then do it the way you are: beautiful au naturel 💛.

The eternal search for the “perfect” body

Because of classic boudoir photographs, it is not surprising to hear that so many people believe they have to lose weight, be more fit, or change their body one way or another, in order to do a shoot. We are in 2023 and body diversity is still not well represented in our field. What you can mostly see are heavily photoshopped professional models with the same body type.

This makes it hard for most people to imagine they could do a boudoir shoot even if they don’t look like those models. What’s even harder is that it does not stop at boudoir but is everywhere we look, especially with social media. And even thought a lot of people fight for body diversity acceptance, we are still not there yet.

The belief that a body is beautiful only if it follows certain standards is so deeply rooted that it will take years to disappear, and will stop only if people learn to accept their body and love it the way it is.

Changing your body for a boudoir shoot is a dangerous game

Let say for example you don’t like the way you look because you think you are too big and you believe that you have to attain a certain number in order to do a shoot. You will work hard, maybe for months, to reach to your boudoir goal, and once you get there you finally do your shoot. Awesome you did it, but can you guess what happens next?

Most likely there will be two scenarios:

• #1: This experience was kind of a wake up call for you. Fitness becomes an important habit in your life. You feel motivated to keep working on this new body of yours and are very happy about it.

• #2 (and the most common): you don’t get any pleasure from that fitness journey so you stop and your body goes back to its natural shape and size.

Creating new habits, especially around body transformation, is hard and for a lot of people not worth the struggles and time around it.

What’s “dangerous” with changing your body before a shoot is that when you will look at those photographs in the future (and you still don’t feel confident about yourself) it will triggers tons of negative emotions because what you see on pictures doesn’t reflect who you are and what you look like. You will probably think you were more beautiful at that time and this will make your confidence completely drop.

In our opinion boudoir photography is about body acceptance, self-confidence, sensuality, and empowerment. Basically it is about accepting your whole badass-self!

Au naturel is better

Learning to accept your natural body and find beauty even with the parts you like less or hate is possible and requires practice. It is about changing the perspective you have regarding what you look like and running far far away from the destructive fashion industry’s beauty standards.

Also if you love social media, start following people who have the same body type as you and who inspire you. Follow people who are authentic with strong and human values. People who teach about body acceptance and self-love. But if you start feeling jealous about what you see online, then it is time to take a break from social media.

Your body is not your enemy. Be kind, gentle, and loving with it!

Be the same way as you are when your best friend is having a hard time: compassionate. Throwing hate or negative feeling at yourself will only make you feel worst. Only you can change the narrative 😘

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Should I keep my pictures private?

A lot of people are hesitant about doing a boudoir shoot because they do not really know how they will be using their pictures. Some can't imagine sharing them and the idea of other people seeing their photographs is sailing away the boudoir shoot boat, no matter how bad they want to try it..

Online sharing or not online sharing

If there is one main takeaway from this blog post, it is this: the choice of posting your photos online is yours and only yours. Not your partner. Not your family. Not your friends. Just yours. If it makes you feel good and safe to share them, just go ahead. On the other hand, if your desire is to keep those pictures private, then it is your right, no question asked.

That being said, we do encourage sharing your pictures with at least your loved ones and here is why:

Because you are also a source of inspiration to the people close to you.

You might think that only those massive influencers have an impact online, but we all get even more impacted by the people from our intimate circle. If someone we know does something we find inspiring, it will definitely make a long-lasting impression on us.

With your photos, you have the opportunity to inspire your loved ones, near or far. And we are not just talking about boudoir! Your showing that you've done something outside of your comfort zone will likely spark a fire for someone else to do the same.

It works with strangers too. If you only knew the amount of new Scandals who told us the reason they reached out was because they saw someone they could relate to on our page. How does it feel to be someone else's muse?! 

Breaking the code of unachievable beauty standards.

It's no secret that the media constantly promotes unachievable beauty standards. Even though we have seen some improvement, there is still a long way to go, and many more people left feeling like absolute garbage when staring at themselves in front of the mirror.

By sharing your photos, you are sharing what a body is really like. With the skin details, the little rolls, the curves, the bumps. THIS is how we break the mold. The more we can identify with who they see in the media, the less shame and pressure we will feel. And if we wait for the media to fix this for us, we are going to be here a while. The ball is in our court!

Being proud of yourself.

Hey, you did something outside the box, something many people would never dare to do. You left feeling great about yourself and ready to get familiar with this freshly discovered confidence. It is an achievement, and sharing achievements feels good. Toot your own horn for a minute (or two)!

The satisfaction of going against the grain.

This is more personal gain, but we can all agree that one of the best feelings ever is to be a bit rebellious. Yes, you know what we mean! Doing something that's generally frown upon for no reason at all…. It is so damn liberating and it leaves us wanting more. Just give yourself that satisfaction already!

Never forget that You can be a beautiful source of inspiration to someone you wouldn't expect and that you can provoke changes, even if it is just in your immediate surroundings.

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How words can impact your mind and body

Language is a powerful tool which brings people together and help understand each other. But unfortunately it can also be used as a weapon when put between mischievous hands. Since it is easier for a lot of people to criticize rather than giving compliments, words can be extremely harmful.

By the way I, Fanny, am writing this blog. But I can also speak for Juliette as she also got hurt from people’s comments when she was younger!

Like most people I am lacking self-confidence from time to time. Not about my body, more about my skills and intellect (this will be for another blog though 😬). I feel very fortunate I was able to accept and love how my body looks like naturally, but it wasn't always the case! It took me many years to realize that all the beauty standards I grew up with were BS and how to reclaim my own beauty. Honestly photography helped a lot and I am really glad I chose that path!

I used to wish to be curvier, taller, have thicker wrists, have a perfect skin… I was wishing to be different not only because of what I was seeing in magazines or tv, but also because people around me were criticizing me about my body.

When your loved ones are not so loving

Juliette was criticized for being overweight, I was criticized for being skinny and short:

-“You look like a garden gnome hahaha!”

- “I should not talk about that in front of you! What are you, 14 or so?” (I was 22 😢)

- “Are you not ashamed of not having boobs?”

- “Are you sure you don't suffer from anorexia?”

… I could keep going on and on.

Most of those awful sentences came from friends or people I knew, and every time they broke me into thousand pieces. Until a classmate told me the worst one someone could ever say to me “your mom should be so ashamed for giving birth to an anorexic girl. What an embarrassment!”.

That sentence was a wake up call! Like Juliette, I had a “F**k that! Never again” moment and told myself that I will never let words put me down ever again.

Relax, it was just a joke!

That famous: “I was joking!”… I am pretty sure we can all relate right? And maybe we did it too without realizing we hurt someone. We don’t know if it was the same for you but Juliette and I grew up in France where sarcasm is very common. People from the same family and friends pocked each other, made jokes about the way they look or their personality, and ended up with a "you are so sensitive, it was just a joke!” if the person was hurt or taking it the wrong way. We were both victims of those comments that could be soul crushing.

And yes maybe it was just a “joke”, but for some reason that day those words sticked to your mind. Maybe it wasn’t the first time you heard those words or maybe you were already having a bad day and was feeling a down. When a loved one tells you several times how overweight they think you are or how an idiot you can look like, even if they say it with a touch of humour, you ended up believing those words and less in yourself.

When the critics come from yourself!

Raise your hand if you have ever called yourself stupid. Raise your hand if you have ever looked at your reflection in the mirror with a disgusted look on your face. Raise your hand if you have ever been unkind to yourself! Are you raising both hands right now and need a third one? Yep, me as well :(

Self-criticism is so common! It is very easy to be harsh with our body and our mind, yet the things we tell ourselves we would never tell that to someone else. So why this need of self-harm and sabotage?

What we want you to do from now on is to talk to yourself the same way you would talk to your best friend.

Start seeing your body as a friend who needs love instead of seeing it as an enemy. Kindness is not only meant to comfort others!

It is hard to detach ourselves from the negative things people can tell us or have told us in the past because it is painful. But the truth is that people have the tendency to project their own insecurities on you rather than dealing with their problems. So the next time someone criticize you, remember there is a big chance that person is just showing how they really think about themselves in a specific situation.

Once you get that, people’s hurtful words will not affect you anymore!

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Has Covid thrown Self-Love out the window?

Initially published on Limitless By Scandaleuse

It is no secret that many of us have been struggling since early 2020. Us too, especially the last few weeks. The vision of 2021 we were just hoping for despite it being fairly unrealistic, just faded. Covid wasn't, after all, going to stop spreading on January 01, 2021, but we preferred to deny it for a sec!

From positivity to frustration.

Not gonna lie, we were pretty positive for a while. Then, that faded too.

We feel like we are stuck in Groundhog Day, repeating the same tasks every day, not having a reason to dress up anymore, being deprived of what makes us feel alive (what we would do to just sit down in a café and people-watch…) and so for so damn long. And we can tell we are not the only ones.

In an attempt to bring some sunshine back, even for a moment, we decided to create a little self-love challenge through our social media. The concept was simple: dance like nobody’s watching, on the same song. It was a way for us to give womxn a chance to bring self-love back on the table, let loose, feel good about themselves and get a break from the covid-related news. And it really did the trick if you actually decided to follow the lead! So we started talking about it, heard many “this is so great, I love this, this is exactly what I need” and then came the moment to actually start doing it.

This is when over 70% of people backed out, for 2 main reasons :

“I'm just not feeling it anymore”
“I don't have the confidence".

And the truth is: we feel you.

Self-Love : out the window until things get better?

We've heard it so many time when the pandemic began: take this time to take care of yourself. Discover or reinvent, who you are. Spend quality time with yourself since we are stuck anyway. And many of us were good students! We learned new things and practices that have helped us so much and all of those kept our confidence up.

But how long can you do this for?

At some point, we need outside interactions. We need to go out. We’re tired of just being with ourselves. Hell, we don't even appreciate ourselves anymore as we have seen us way too much, so, yeah, self-love, bye bye.

Here is the thing thought: this is exactly when you should double down on self-love.

It is when you feel like giving it up that it is the most needed.

Take your time, there are no rules.

If you need a few days to pause and just become a couch potatoe with greasy hair, order take-out and just contemplate life, then do it. The idea here is not to put this damn pressure or guilt around self-care and self-love. Just slowly get back to it in your own time. No need to throw yourself into a yoga or meditation challenge and sign up for a zillion online classes, you can just start by doing something as simple as washing your hair (seriously, everything is always better after a shower, don’t you think?).

You will get the shy tingly feeling that feels so good once again.

You know, that feeling of glittery tummy? Then feed the crap out of it.

You're not alone feeling this way.

This challenge wasn’t a fail. Yes, we were hoping it would spread like wildfire and give a huge wave of positivity and self-love in our community and it just didn’t take. But at the end of the day, it gave us a chance to actually feel a lot less lonely. We are always encouraged to bottle up our feelings, to not make noise and be strong, because you know, thingscouldbeworselalala. But it doesn't stop anything from sucking. Which is kinda what we covered during our last live on Instagram, in case you are curious.

Saying it out loud can actually help move forward: so if you are reading this, take a moment to just say “F********CK THIS.” Release that tension, let it OUT.

We have something for you!

Since we still want to help you feel better, we have put together 6 easy tips you can use now to better your life. All you have to do is click below to get them!

Boudoir Photography = a step back from feminism?

One of our first radio interview covered the relationship bewteen boudoir photography and feminism. A sociologist was brought on board to discuss the impact on publishing your boudoir photos online and she had a pretty strong opinion about it (even though we do not agree with it, we believe it is important to listen to other's point of view and understand why people can think differently).

If you'd like to watch the interview and read the article (in French), it's here.

A quick reminder.

We won't go over in details why you should do a boudoir session (because we did it here) but to recap, we think that the best reason to do it is because you want to treat and/or challenge yourself. It is the perfect opportunity to showcase your confidence, welcome your true self and slam the door on everything that has held you back.

Posting sexy photos of yourself online = seeking attention?

During this interview, we were asked why our models were sharing their photos online. Our main argument is that, you Scandals post them because you are proud of them, and proud of yourself. The second argument is that, we do like receiving support from others. It feels nice to get positive comments from friends, family and sometimes strangers.

Every time our clients share their pictures from their session on social media, they get a lot of positive comments from people supporting the movement. They even inspire people to do a same or at least be more loving with their body.

If social media can get more positive messages and encouragement, we don't know about you but we are down!

The point of view expressed by the sociologist in this article was pretty concerning. From what we understood, she thinks the fact that more women want to show themselves in lingerie is risky and is not a way to claim our feminism. She adds:

"Why should every woman show themselves? I see it at a regressive phenomenon."

Not Ashamed.

By definition, feminism is wanting to get the same rights as men, period. We think that dragging feminism and politics in this interview didn't make much sense with boudoir to begin with. We are assuming the idea behind it was that, as women, we cannot expect to be taken as seriously if we were to post sexy pictures of ourselves online.

Boudoir photography is getting more and more popular for one reason: women (and men!) are finally saying "screw it" to inaccessible beauty standards and are encouraging self love and acceptance.

Boudoir is a way to celebrate yourself, why would you hide it? Don't get us wrong, you have every right to keep your photos private. But you also have the right to share them without losing points in the feminism column.

Less professional because of boudoir?

If you have been following us for a little while, you must have seen that we are mainly using ourselves for our advertising, in lingerie, and even tasteful nudity.

Does that make us look less professional to you? Do you even remember it when you see us face to face? No. What sticks is the message behind it: you can do whatever the hell you want.

The other photographer, Sarah, says at the end of the video that she admires women who share their photos online because it motivates others to do the same and will become more and more normal.

“We don't have to worry about what people think because it does not define who we are.” she added.

Man, we cannot agree more! You are not less professional because of your boudoir photos. It has absolutely nothing to do with your work performance, the way you interact with people, or whether you like broccoli or not. If anything, you were just brave enough to openly say you are proud of yourself.

You do not need to explain your choices to others. Do a boudoir shoot if that makes you happy, share your pictures with the world if you want to… At the end of the day YOU are the only one who decide what is the best for your beautiful self!

And if you don't feel ready (yet!) to do a boudoir shoot with a professional, then start with an homemade one. We have created a fully detailed online program so you can take your own pictures with just your cellphone, at home, in your own time. This is the perfect opportunity to get familiar with the boudoir photography world!

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Do not let procrastination take over!

Procrastination is a big and scary word, nobody likes to be told or think they are being lazy. But we all know how easy it is to let ourselves go in any aspects of our life: relationship, life goals, business… It does not mean we are actually lazy or we do not care anymore, usually it is something we build with time and without noticing. Slowly but surely we have been developing bad habits and at some point it just hits us, trust me when I say it is an awful feeling!

Starting 2019 with "Panache”

I wanted to start 2019 in style, so beginning of January I wrote down a lot of new goals in my notebook, I especially wanted to work on being more self-disciplined and I was 100% motivated to achieve it. One of the first one was to travel alone: BAM! Two weeks later I was in Costa Rica by myself, celebrating my birthday and making new friends (I even met a new gorgeous scandal for a boudoir shoot). I came back to Toronto with clearer thoughts, new ideas and ready to conquer the world!

By the way, this feeling happens when you get out of your confort zone and try new experiences. Yes it is scary at first but once it is done, you feel so powerful and confident; you can do everything.

Hit me baby one more time

I kept that fire inside me until about two weeks ago when I started feeling down, unmotivated and not really healthy. Then few days ago it just hit me (and man, it was painful, I felt guilty!): I realized I have been letting myself go for a few months. Yes I was full of ideas and new goals but I wasn't working to make them happen. Business was busy, which was a bit unbelievable for winter time, so I focused on the tasks I had to do, I focused too much on the short term and forgot about long term plans. I have slowly been pushing back projects I was supposed to work on or business skills I wanted to learn. Those bad habits affected not only my business life but my personal one too:

• I stopped cooking healthy meals (I am a vegetarian so I have to be careful to replace properly the nutrients I don't get from meat anymore), the result: iron deficiency = a week an a half of intense migraines and fatigue.

• I replaced reading by watching tv shows (Netflix is temptation!).

• My workout has been the same for the past 2 months instead of learning new fitness and aerial silk tricks.

• Do you remember my 2019 goals I was talking to you about? Well I haven't opened that notebook since I wrote them in!

To make it short, I STOPPED LEARNING…

Your brain is a muscle

We always remember to feed our body. If we don't, it doesn't take too much time before having a low energy, headaches, dizziness… But we have the tendency to forget our brain is a muscle we need to take care of. We need to work it out and feed it with knowledge if we do not want to see negative effects on the long term.

When you make your passion a business, unfortunately you can easily lose your creativity, you have to challenge yourself all the time: I am not gonna lie, it can be very tiring… So you take a break, you relax. And it's when you let go too much you start building procrastination. All it takes is to find the perfect balance between work and pleasure. I am not able to remember the last time I watched a documentary, discovered a new photographer, went to an art exhibition or learn something new. I am not a lazy person, I am the opposite: always working hard, curious and motivated. But somewhere and for some reasons on the road, procrastination showed up and stayed warm and cozy.

The first step is to notice

Procrastination's guilt is an awful feeling. So when you catch yourself procrastinating for too long you have to change your activity right away, just stop and do something that feels right! If this step is too difficult for you then ask someone in your loved ones who will let you know if you f**k up. I try to not beat myself up because nobody is perfect but I refuse to use it as an excuse to stay in this vicious circle.

The secret against laziness:

Some of you are probably gonna feel disappointed because I know you are waiting to read an advice which will change your life… Please do not hate me but unfortunately there is no magic trick! You have to force yourself to do stuff! Whatever it is you try to achieve, you have to kick your own butt to be successful. FIND YOUR OWN MOTIVATION.

Use your brain!

Never stop learning, think, have ideas, keep yourself active, build up your energy and consider your body as a temple because if you are not healthy then it will be difficult to be proactive.

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Heidi, when strength meet kindness

Hello dear scandals,

We all feel how winter in Canada can be tough sometimes, the lack of heat and sun after few months starts to have a negative impact on our mood. So it can be a great idea to take few days out of the country: one of us went five days to Costa Rica and it was incredible. The goal of that short trip was to get away from Toronto and take some me-time… You guys know how hard workers we are and how it is difficult for us to disconnect from work. Well we have to confess, it was hard to not take the opportunity to do a boudoir shoot in paradise and work with a new lady… So we had to do it :)

We posted a message on a facebook group about a boudoir shoot idea and Heidi was one of the first to reply. Even though we did not know her, she was the one who stood out and we new from the start we wanted to shoot with her. What a meaningful encounter: her story was inspiring, we always love to hear about other business owner's experience and life. Plus she has an incredible personality, beauty… PERFECT COMBO!

Meet Heidi

Everybody has a story, I think that’s one of the things I enjoy the most about meeting people in Costa Rica. Here we are in this little beautiful country, together, talking and forming friendships, discovering how much we have in common and yet we all have a different back story about what led us here.

Costa Rica, 5 years ago

I went there for the first time to celebrate my partner’s and my 50th birthdays.  We planned a double vacation – some skiing and boarding in Whistler for the first week, and then straight to Costa Rica to learn to surf. Tamarindo….such a neat place! My partner could already surf and had tried it in many other exotic locations, but this was a first for me and I don’t even skateboard or snowboard… Yikes! Well, I survived surf camp and could actually say I could surf afterwards!

That first trip led to another and another and another, at least twice a year, enjoying the beach, training every day, surfing and always pondering eventual retirement and speculating about what little business could be started here to fill a niche.

At first we thought about a coffee shop, or more specifically, a mobile coffee cart – because at that time there were only a couple in town. Needless to say in 5 years there are probably 14 now…. so that was a good pass!

How Gilliepops was born

One thing that seemed to be lacking was treats of any sort that weren’t laden with sugar or milk and specifically cold frozen treats. Popsicles… Yes, that became the focus and ultimately Gilliepops was born, named after my late daughter, who passed away a few months after our first trip here.

Lots of brainstorming, creative thinking and marketing ideas, and in November 2017 I arrived in town with a bicycle, a cooler, my Vitamix and a couple of giant duffel bags filled with popsicles sticks, moulds, labels and packaging supplies. It was new and exciting, and at times very disappointing and stressful. I ate a lot of tuna and eggs that’s for sure but what an amazing experience! I even added gluten free baked goods to my repertoire and it seems the tourists and even locals can’t get enough of them. It’s awesome!!

Thanks to social media

Business here in Costa Rica is done differently that in North America.  It’s less formal and much of the communication is done either on Facebook or Whatsapp.

Because of the dependency on Facebook for business, I’m forced to check it daily and post often to encourage awareness of the availability of gluten free products here. This is when I saw Fanny's post about her visit to Tamarindo. I sent her a few suggestions, I think because I knew she was from Toronto. When she mentioned being a photographer and looking for someone to photograph while she was here, I jumped at the opportunity – there are almost no pictures of me here because I’m on my own. And what a beautiful place to be photographed.

Its been a couple of years since I’ve done a photo shoot and never when I wasn’t ready to compete (I’m a physique competitor), but I thought it would be nice to be captured as my regular self, my natural self, a little smoother and softer… tan lines and all…! The shoot was amazing – the view from the location we chose was so beautiful and the pictures she took are so flattering and beautiful.

I’m so grateful for the opportunity to have met one of the Scandaleuse's team, the time we got to spend together talking an sharing our stories.

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Dealing with trauma via boudoir photography

A few months ago, we flew back to our home country, France, to do one of our Boudoir Bash in Paris. We met a lot of wonderful Frenchies there, including the exquisite Nora. The first time we talked with her on Skype, she opened up right away about her motivations to do a shoot and her story moved us.

Having someone telling you about her past is quite emotional and this is why we love being boudoir photographers. It gives us the opportunity to work and help people to win back their confidence and even better, their self-love.

We are no therapists but we know that in some cases, photography can help heal consequences of a traumatic event such as abuse, assault, harassment and other traumas who have left you confused about who you can see yourself.

My name is Nora, this is my story…

“Let's start talking about my fear… I know, pretty unusual for people who know me!

My biggest fear is actually one of my family member, so it makes it really complicated to move forward, to liberate myself from this situation. Even though I haven't seen this person in years, I know that, deep inside, we might see each other again.

Yes, I grew up but I still have that fear to see his face, the way he looked at me, or even worse, to awake those bitter memories of his physical and psychological hits.

All of those years by his side can be summed up with tears and this feeling of helplessness against a man way stronger than me. To me, it sounds like a trivial story, so I tell myself “there is probably worse stories than mine.”

I grew up surrounded with machismo & the “alpha male” spirit. One day I had no other choice but to escape this life. I gathered up my strength and I left. I needed to get away as far as I could from this person, this source of fear. It was love that helped me to take this first step and put a temporary "band-aid” on what was haunting me.

Inevitably, the consequences of this sitution with this member of my family remove completement all of my self-esteem.

Being constantly put down during the first decade of your life makes you forgetting about who you are very quickly. However, time goes by and we try to rebuild ourselves after all, even if we have to put our loved ones aside.

I do not have this person in my life anymore. I have been with someone who listens to me and understands my past, who pushes me to thrive as much as I want for the past few years.

With time and maybe without noticing it, I was attracted by those women who are self-confident and whom by art, politic and culture were able to accept themselves the way they are. This is how I had the idea to use boudoir photography as a way to heal myself.

The Boudoir Shoot

What an unforgettable experience! A moment of peace where I was able to forget about my problems, all of my "flaws” and more importantly, my demons. It was just a magical therapy!

Posing in front of the lens made me realize that the qualities I was admiring in others were also part of me. I was able to win back what I thought was gone forever and shout out to the whole world “I will never feel ashamed to be myself anymore.”

This magical moment had a real positive impact on my life and I don't want to stop here as I have more ideas to keep feeling unstoppable. I have to say it would have been much harder without Fanny and Juliette's help.

“I am beautiful”

Thank you to the man who I have been sharing my life for the past 5 years, it is because of him I am still thriving!

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FRENCH VERSION

Je m’appelle Nora, voici mon histoire

Commençons par parler de ma peur, chose inhabituelle pour ceux qui me connaissent je sais.

Ma première peur, la plus grande, est un membre de ma famille. C'est donc compliqué de s'en défaire, de s'émanciper, car même si je ne l'ai pas vu depuis de nombreuses années, je sais qu'au fond de moi nous nous reverrons un jour sûrement.

Oui, j'ai beau avoir grandi, j'ai toujours cette hantise de revoir son visage, son regard et surtout de réveiller amèrement les souvenirs de ses coups tant psychologiques que physiques.

Tout ce temps à se côtoyer durant toutes ces années se résume aux pleurs ainsi qu'à un sentiment d'impuissance face à un homme bien plus fort que moi. Mon histoire me parait banale et je me dis alors "qu'il y a certainement pire que moi".

J'ai donc grandi dans ce contexte de machisme, du "male alpha" à la maison. Un jour j'ai eu la force de m'enfuir loin de cette vie, je n'avais plus le choix, il fallait mettre une réelle distance avec ce qui incarnait cette peur, une rencontre amoureuse m'a confortée évidemment dans cette démarche. Ce qui m'a permis de mettre dans un premier temps une sorte de "pansement" sur ce mal qui me poursuivait. Fatalement, ces déboires familiaux, dû à cet individu principalement, m'ont enlevé toute estime de moi.

Être constamment rabaissé durant vos premières décennies de vie vous font "très vite" oublier qui vous êtes, mais le temps passe et on tente malgré tout de se construire même si cela implique de (se) priver (de) ses proches.

Je ne partage plus ma vie avec cette personne avec qui j'étais partie à l'époque. Depuis quelques années je suis avec quelqu'un qui m'encourage à m'épanouir comme je l'entends, il a particulièrement su m'écouter et me comprendre. Inconsciemment peut-être, je me suis doucement intéressée à ces femmes qui s'assumaient, s'acceptaient au travers de diverses façons (art/politique/culture). L'idée d'accepter mon image et de faire un shooting photo m'est alors venu.

La séance Boudoir

Une expérience inoubliable ! Un moment où j'ai oublié tous mes soucis, tous mes (potentiels) défauts et surtout, tous mes démons ! Ce fût ni plus ni moins une thérapie magique.

En se prêtant au "jeu de l'objectif", j'ai pu constater que ce que je pouvais admirer chez les autres, je pouvais aussi l'apprécier et le retrouver chez moi. Je pense avoir, presque malgré moi, crié aux monde entier "je suis moi et n'en aurais certainement plus honte !".

Ce moment "magique" m'a réellement fait du bien, m'a donné d'autres idées encore et rien de tout ça n'aurait été si parfait sans Fanny et Juliette.

" Je suis belle "

Un énorme merci à l'homme qui partage ma vie depuis plus de 5 ans, grâce à lui je grandis encore!

Bridal Boudoir

For our Scandals who are getting married, have you heard about bridal boudoir?

It sounds like just a detail to add to your endless to-do list, less important than shoes, flowers and the other millions tasks you need to take care of. As a result, boudoir shots are either overlooked or done very quickly the morning of your wedding if you or your photographer remembers.

WHY NOT TAKE MORE TIME AND BOOK YOUR BRIDAL BOUDOIR SESSION BEFORE YOUR WEDDING DAY?

BRIDAL BOUDOIR = PRETTY NEAT YOU TIME

Let's face it: wedding planning can be very stressful. From finding the best venue to the problematic seating chart (you know, uncle George having a feud with aunt Roberta while your 14-year-old cousin would rather die than sit at the kids table...), it feels like there is no ending.

That's why we believe every bride should take one day to take care of herself and relax: spa, massage, karate class (everyone has their own way to calm down!). A boudoir session can definitely join that list of cool stuff. It's a great way to have fun and think about you and only you.

HERE ARE 4 REASONS WHY YOU SHOULD DO A BOUDOIR SESSION BEFORE YOUR WEDDING:

1) YOU'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO DO IT.

Secretly or not, we are 99% sure this is something you've been curious about. What's better than using the fact that you are getting married as a reason to finally do it?

2) YOU'RE GOING TO FEEL LIKE A BAD-ASS

You will definitely leave your shoot feeling like Beyonce. We see it with all of our clients: they first come excited and a little shy, they leave rocking that pavement like it's a cat walk, with their hair is slow-motion. That's exactly what you need. And we all love Beyonce.

3) YOUR PARTNER WILL JUST LOVE IT.

Just picture your partner's blushing face and adorable smile when he/she will see your photos. There is something so special about giving this gift to the love of your life.

4) YOU ARE GOING TO BUY EXPENSIVE LINGERIE/VEIL FOR YOUR BIG DAY.

Might as well make it count. That pair of cute panties you bought for the night of deserves more.

You can even involve your partner for a couple boudoir shoot if you want to try something unique, he/she also needs to relax, in a romantic way...

INDOORS OR OUTDOORS?

Most of the time, it is done indoor,s usually at the bride’s home, friend or family house or in an hotel room. But because we love to offer you something different, your session can be done in beautiful lofts: from bohemiam artsy to moderm minimalist, it's your choice!

If you feel adventurous, we can take you for an outdoor session. Depending of the weather and your taste, a boudoir shoot can be done in a beautiful garden, in the forest, on the beach, in the water or in even the street, for creative and beautiful images.

ONLY ME, MYSELF & I?

This is totally up to you. Some women like to do it by themselves, others feel more comfortable with someone they know. If you feel like sharing this wonderful experience, here are some ideas:

• With your partner: Such a great way to bring your relationship to another level of intimacy. Bring your lover and a bottle of wine, we vow to create a romantic atmosphere.

• With your bridesmaids: those sessions are so much fun and can be very creative. You just need to bring your girls, your lingerie and props and some drinks (yes a bottle of wine works here too) and we are good to go!

WHAT SHOULD I WEAR?

You decide what is the most comfortable for you and the vibe you have in mind. Here are few tips to help you started:

• Classic: white lingerie, veil, garter  and bouquet

• Fancy: corset or bodysuit, lace, stockings and heels

• Natural: simple lingerie, oversize sweaters, knee socks, light makeup and barefoot

THOSE ARE JUST LITTLE TIPS, FEEL FREE TO MIX AND MATCH IDEAS, WEAR COLORS, BRING JEWELRY OR GO FULL NUDE. THERE ARE NO RULES, LET YOUR IMAGINATION DO THE WORK!

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Kiss your body insecurities goodbye

Isn't it a great feeling to feel the positive evolution in body positivity? Do you guys see it too? From articles I read or friend's conversations, I have the feeling that people and especially women are more self-confident. Man, how powerful is that?! Even though we still have a lot of progress to make, we are slowly getting there.

The importance of confidence

Most of the people I meet know about their qualities and are confident about either their sense of humour, their kindness, their intellect… But I have never met a single person who is in love with 100% of his/her body. We always feel judged, always have the impression people are looking at us. Do you want to know the truth? People don't care… or at least most of them don’t (honestly who cares about judgy people). If you love the way you look and accept what mother nature gave you, it will be easier to conquer the world: being self-confident shows charisma which is a powerful quality to be successful in life.

I never said it will be easy

I am not 100% confident and writing this blog is making me think about the parts of my body I do not like and why I don't like them. Our past traumas are usually the reasons why we are so picky with ourselves.

There are two things I do not like about my body. The first one is my wrists (oh gosh I know it sounds stupid but it is a fact). I see them so tiny and I never been able to like them. Not that I am ashamed and try to hide those wrists but I never felt confident about them. Why? If you have been following us for a little while, you may have read the blog post in which I was writing about my teenagehood and how photography changed the way I see myself. I was a skinny and insecure teenager and kids in my middle school were mean so I got a lot of insults about anorexia. Their words still resonate in me sometimes.

The second thing I do not like is my recent acne. Last February I decided to stop taking my birth control pills to switch for a non hormonal birth control device because I want to take care of my body, go for something more “natural” and stop ingested those crappy hormones. Well I wanted to go natural: I got acnee… Yay! (unhappy smile). Two months after I stoped those pills, I developed a severe acne and felt awful about myself. I totally lost my confidence and sex appeal. Why? Same as previously written, it reminded me when I was fifteen and brought back all of those bad memories.

How to change your mindset

The only way to accept those parts of your body you like the less is to look a them, stop hiding them and talk positively about them. When I look at my wrists I stop telling myself they are too skinny, instead I decided think and say loudly they are cute. For my acne, I try to not use make up to cover the pimples. Every time I look at myself in the mirror, I look at every pimples and tell myself it is not so bad and they will eventually disappear with time.

You can also learn how to highlight and showcase your imperfections. the good news is that it could be fairly easy: you just have to decide to change a negative mindset to a positive one.

GIVE YOURSELF A BREAK AND GO LOVE EVERY FREAKING INCHES OF YOUR BODY!

We were nudists for 3 days

We took 3 days off this week, in Tiny Ontario to relax at our friend's cottage. A short and sweet escape by the lake, more than deserved! We hiked, relaxed, had some wine and for the first time in our life, we went swimming and laid down in the sun all NAKED.

THE FIRST STEP WAS EASY TO TAKE

From the moment we put our first step on the wooden dock, we knew it would be all about relaxing and taking time for ourselves. There was cottages on each side of where we were staying but no neighbours. So I had a loud thought: "I think I will be topless today!" and here we go taking off our tops and enjoying the sun. It took us only an hour before removing our bottoms and trying nudism for the first time.

The first ten minutes were a bit difficult to adjust, especially because of the fear of having neighbours going in their backyard and seeing our little white butts. But once you decide to not give a damn, it is just 100% enjoyable.

SUCH AN EPIPHANY

If you have never tried it before, you cannot imagine the feeling of the wind and water everywhere on your skin, on each part of your body. Such a feeling of freedom!

We were never really attracted by the idea of being naturist, first because the breasts' skin is very sensitive and the idea of having it exposed in the sun wasn't attractive. Second, we are not used to walk around butt naked and taking the risk of being seen by potential strangers. But holy guacamole, we have zero regrets. We spent half of our time in our birthday suits and we loved every minute of it!

LET'S THANK BOUDOIR PHOTOGRAPHY

Being boudoir photographers and helping people feeling comfortable in their own skin, change the relationship we have with our body. It is not something we would have done a year ago, even though we saw our mothers being topless on the beach in France many times (yes it is super popular back there). Thanks to the media that sexualized the human body, we forgot the human vessel is just a protection for our organs and sometimes you need a good reminder: it is not all about sexuality!  

There is nothing to be ashamed of

Another reason why it is not common nature to walk around butt naked is because you are putting yourself in a very vulnerable position. You can't hide behind a flattering bathing suit, everything is out there. It takes a lot of work on yourself to face your body that way because of your own standards, but mostly because of other people's eyes. Our advice would be to start as privately as possible, so you can start feeling comfortable with yourself first. Then, if you feel like it, try it maybe topless with people you trust. And then keep going. Don't miss out on such a nice feeling. It literally changed the way we will tan from now on.

I feel reconnected with my body and closer to my wild side. Being naked does not make you feel more vulnerable, it is an amazing way to feel badass and free. And to avoid those nasty tan lines.

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