Birth Control Pill: A little devil

Disclaimer: In this post I am talking about my own experience and feedback about the birth control pill. I am not a doctor and this should not be considered as legal advice. You should seek appropriate counsel for your own situation.

Ladies and gents (I do have some hope that men can also be interested by that topic!), today's blog post is about my experience with the birth control pill, why I decided to stop it and it's impact on my body 11 years later…

When I Sold My Soul For Beauty Purpose

2007 was a great year: first boyfriend and sexual blooming, beginning of adulthood… This was the reason I started taking the birth control pill, “Jasmin” if I remember correctly. Unfortunately when I was 17, I had a lot of migraines and also a strong acne, “Jasmin” wasn't strong enough for my body. So I decided to follow my gynecologist advice which was to go for one of the strongest hormonal pill, perfect against acne and migraines: Ladies and gentlemen, the famous “Diane 35", let's sadly acclaim it.

Big mistake! But I was young and looking for an easy way to feel prettier. I was really ashamed of my acne, all I wanted was to get rid of it. I just wished my doctors would have told me about the risks and side effects of those pills…

Before taking the pill

5 months after taking the pill

The Results Were Beyond Expectations

If there is something I cannot complain about, it is the result and efficacy: my acne was gone few months after I started taking it and the migraines were less intense, it was honestly a relief. On top of that, they helped regulate your menstrual cycle and the main purpose of that pill was also a success, I never got pregnant. You got it, I am not complaining about their efficacy against pregnancy. The birth control pill is a great contraceptive as long as you don’t forget to take it. Unfortunately the side effects and risks on the woman body are pretty scary.

But for 11 years I was never aware of those side effects. This is why the "pill” is sneaky: you usually do not feel how unhealthy it is, at least I never felt it.

So why did I stop?

As you may know, two years ago I became vegetarian and it is now important for me to take care of my body and be careful with what goes in and out. It is my way to feel confident and respectful of it! Stopping the pill was obviously another step towards taking less chemical, since I did not want extra hormones in my body anymore (If you wanna learn more about this topic, I found this very interesting article).

To make it short, the birth control pills is a combinaison of two hormones: estrogen and progestogen, that eliminate ovulation and prevent pregnancy. It changes your natural hormone balance, tricking your body into thinking it is pregnant all month.

I also never like having to take a pill every day because I have sometimes forgotten to take them (oh and I guess reading about those women who died from blood clotting in their legs, sudden blockages in their lungs, bleeding in their brains and chest pain before death, did help me with that decision…) Anyway, in January 2018, I took the decision to change contraception and go for a non-hormonal copper IUD. I went to my family doctor to talk with her about that decision, her advice was to stop the pill and wait until my next period to have the IUD inserted. Which I did…

Another big mistake, I should have never ever stoped the pill right away! In one month, I went from 11 years of intense synthetic hormones to natural ones. Of course it was a shock for my body, my doctor should have told me about it. The consequences? I developed a strong acne in a couple of months and my menstrual cycle was all over the place. I feel like a teenager again and I now have a lack of confidence because of that acne. It has been less than a year I changed contraceptive and my body is slowly getting use to it, but it will take few years before the level of acne decrease.

Why I like non-hormonal contraception

First of all, big shout out for the Copper IUD, it is so convenient. I am not gonna lie, the insertion was painful but it lasted only a couple of minutes and I do not have to worry of getting pregnant for the next five years. What if I want a baby in two years? The doctor will just take it out!

My body has changed a lot since I switched birth control method and I have now “real” and natural cycles, which includes unfortunately: cramps and irregular, heavier and longer periods. But it also had 3 positive impacts that are really worth it: I am feeling less emotional, my sex drive increased a lot and I am more lubricated (don't laugh, it was pretty frustrating in the past!).

I have no regrets of that change and do not plan to go back to birth control pills. There are so many contraceptives on the market, you should not have any problem to find the perfect one for you. Talk with your doctor or gynecologist about it and most important: do your own research.

Now go make love and viva la sexualidad!!

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Kiss your body insecurities goodbye

Isn't it a great feeling to feel the positive evolution in body positivity? Do you guys see it too? From articles I read or friend's conversations, I have the feeling that people and especially women are more self-confident. Man, how powerful is that?! Even though we still have a lot of progress to make, we are slowly getting there.

The importance of confidence

Most of the people I meet know about their qualities and are confident about either their sense of humour, their kindness, their intellect… But I have never met a single person who is in love with 100% of his/her body. We always feel judged, always have the impression people are looking at us. Do you want to know the truth? People don't care… or at least most of them don’t (honestly who cares about judgy people). If you love the way you look and accept what mother nature gave you, it will be easier to conquer the world: being self-confident shows charisma which is a powerful quality to be successful in life.

I never said it will be easy

I am not 100% confident and writing this blog is making me think about the parts of my body I do not like and why I don't like them. Our past traumas are usually the reasons why we are so picky with ourselves.

There are two things I do not like about my body. The first one is my wrists (oh gosh I know it sounds stupid but it is a fact). I see them so tiny and I never been able to like them. Not that I am ashamed and try to hide those wrists but I never felt confident about them. Why? If you have been following us for a little while, you may have read the blog post in which I was writing about my teenagehood and how photography changed the way I see myself. I was a skinny and insecure teenager and kids in my middle school were mean so I got a lot of insults about anorexia. Their words still resonate in me sometimes.

The second thing I do not like is my recent acne. Last February I decided to stop taking my birth control pills to switch for a non hormonal birth control device because I want to take care of my body, go for something more “natural” and stop ingested those crappy hormones. Well I wanted to go natural: I got acnee… Yay! (unhappy smile). Two months after I stoped those pills, I developed a severe acne and felt awful about myself. I totally lost my confidence and sex appeal. Why? Same as previously written, it reminded me when I was fifteen and brought back all of those bad memories.

How to change your mindset

The only way to accept those parts of your body you like the less is to look a them, stop hiding them and talk positively about them. When I look at my wrists I stop telling myself they are too skinny, instead I decided think and say loudly they are cute. For my acne, I try to not use make up to cover the pimples. Every time I look at myself in the mirror, I look at every pimples and tell myself it is not so bad and they will eventually disappear with time.

You can also learn how to highlight and showcase your imperfections. the good news is that it could be fairly easy: you just have to decide to change a negative mindset to a positive one.

GIVE YOURSELF A BREAK AND GO LOVE EVERY FREAKING INCHES OF YOUR BODY!

Why having two shooters is the best

It is not a secret anymore, Juliette and I have been working together forever. Thanks to all of these years, we have developed an amazing team organization and creativity. We know each other very well, we work fast and in a total harmony. If you think a photographer working alone can give you great photographs, imagine what two photographers can do..

THE SECRET: DOUBLE EVERYTHING

• STRESS-FREE ENVIRONMENT AND GOOD SENSE OF HUMOR: REPORTING FOR DUTY

Getting ready for a photo shoot can be a lot of work and more stressful than you'd think: there is a lot going on. It is important for us to add great vibes and positivity during this special day of yours. Shooting as a team allows us to feel more relaxed and work more efficiently so you don't feel rushed and you still get everything covered. We also coach you, guide you and help you style your outfits. Our photo shoots are not "hello, clac clac, done", they are a full experience. We keep it professional but in a relaxed and friendly atmosphere..

• CREATIVITY AT ITS PEAK

When we work as a duo, we tend to be even more creative. We get a chance to use more props or do more complex lighting. Having two sets of eyes and brains also gives you a great variety in your final selection since you have not one but two creative spirits with you.

• Fast editing:

After your session, it is time for us to edit those awesome photographs of yours! The way we usually work is by doing a rough selection together and applying a soft edit. Once you chose your photographs, we split the editing by giving each other half of the photos selected. This means that our editing time is twice as less and thus, you get your photos a lot faster! Win-win for everyone!

• MORE PHOTOGRAPHS

More photographers means more pictures. You are maybe thinking right now that you do not need too many photographs but trust us, in 30 years from now you would love to remember and share with your partner every single details of your photo session, from how confident you were that day to the sexy lingerie you were wearing. Giving you quality is truly important for us but if we can also give you quantity on top of that, it is even better.

• EXTRA ATTENTION ON EVERYTHING YOU'VE WORKED HARD ON.

It's very likely that you are spending a lot of time in every single details of your photo shoot: taking time to pack up your bag with a lot of gorgeous outfits, hiring a professional for your makeup or becoming a ninja so your partner will not know the surprise you are planning for her/him. Might as well keep some good memories of it. By having two photographers, you will get everything captured the same way you planned everything: with extra care. There is also nothing better than a touch of french accent, two brains and four eyes to give you gorgeous photographs.

• BETTER SAFE THAN SORRY: BACK-UP

This is a little but very important detail that people don't think about (because you already have so many tings to take care off and this one should not be a stress factor). It is your photographer's job to make sure that every possible problem on his/her side will be covered: we are talking here of sickness, accident, car damage or any problem related to photography gear. Unfortunately, emergencies happened and working with two photographers decrease the risk of, for example , losing half of your photographs because something was wrong with the cards or because the camera got damaged. When we work as a duo, we double our photography gear and cards for extra-safety.

“As artists, we always need to create.
As photographers offering a service, we want to make you happy and make you feel like a queen or king.
As boudoir photographers, we want you to leave the shoot feeling like you’ve channeled your inner Beyonce and so for the rest of your life so you can keep kicking butts and being proud of yourself.”

 That's what Scandaleuse is about.

How to Avoid NEGATIVE FEEDBACK

Here is the context: you managed to score a gig on a very nice project. You gathered all of your creativity, worked without counting your hours (for the greater good!), maybe ended up losing money rather than making some but you put your heart on the table and did not regret it. Until…

Until you received feedback. Negative feedback. This is when your client took your heart out of your chest and kicked it like it was just a piece of garbage.

I experienced this in the past and I would be lying if I said that I handled it okay and it did not affect me whatsoever.

This unfortunate scenario happens more than you would think and more importantly, hurts a lot more than you would expect. Because it is your craft. Because we are human. Because our visions are different. Because you were not prepared. Because there was a misunderstanding. Thankfully, learning the hard way can also force you to move forward quickly and efficiently.

Since this feeling is definitely something we would rather avoid, here are some leassons that I learnt from this experience:

Get your client's vision

Congratulations, you made the cut, your client believes you have the talent to accomplish their request and are ready to pay you for it! Now it is time to get down to business and understand what the hell they need you to do. Ask for inspiration photos or other examples. Ask as many questions as you need to, to make sure you understand exactly what they are looking for.

Educate your clients

Chances are that whoever will contact you for your services has no knowledge whatsoever on how to do your job. That is probably why they are reaching out at the first place. Now that you have a more precise idea of what they need from you, you MUST evaluate the time and budget allocated for this project and let them know exactly what they will get for this price/time. Is it very unlikely they will get 500 edited photos for one hour of coverage for their event. They probably won't get a very complicated studio lighting for their corporate shoot for $200.

Have a contract

Sounds simple but it actually isn't, at least for me. I got blinded by the excitement, agreed to work fast, didn't take the time to write everything down and have it signed. Bad, bad idea. This can only backfire. Write something that can protect you in case something out of your control was to happen the day of the shoot that would stop you from giving what you were asked.

Explain the final product.

While it does relate to the previous point, I believe it needs a different paragraph. People need to know prior to shoot what they will get at the end. Edited, RAWs, low res, high res, your watch, whatever. This needs to be set in stone. If you have delivering  RAW previews for your clients to choose, it is important to explain that this step is not the final product. Again, they might not know what a RAW photo looks like (and it looks pretty bad usually.). If I REALLY have to show some RAWs - which I try to avoid as much as possible - I like to give an edited example with it to show the before/after process. This also give you a chance to get approval for the editing style you went for.

Charge a fee for additional hours.

Make it worth your time. If after giving exactly what you were asked, you get additional requests, you need to charge for it. This will avoid wasting money on billable hours. And no one likes to waste money.

Let it go.

This is the hardest point for me. And this is still something I need to learn myself. Despite of all your efforts, sometimes it just doesn't work. It happens. If you feel like you gave your best and there is nothing else you can do to adjust the products, it is time to let that boat sail away. There is only so much you can do. It doesn't make you a terrible artist, it just means that people are different. Take what you can from it and move on.

That's it dearest Scandals. Now go work on new amazing projects and blow people's mind, we are right behind you.
Love,

Scandaleuse gave up on meat

Bonjour bonjour our vegetarian, vegan and meat lover scandals.

For those who eat meat, have you ever asked yourself what life is like for people who gave it up? Have you ever been curious about how they can still be healthy? Have you ever heard this little voice in your head saying: “come one…Try it, you might love it!”? I'm sure you know what I am talking about…

Well ladies & gentlemen get ready, Scandaleuse will demystify all of the meatless urban legends!

Why and when?

About a year ago, Juliette and I decided to stop eating meat. But we didn’t do it at the same time (believe it or not, sometimes we do take our decisions separately, we are not always Thomson & Thompson).

Juliette was first. She started decreasing the amount of meat in her diet, after reading a few blog posts about how it is not necessary. She tried it for a couple of weeks and now and she doesn’t want to go back!

Concerning my experience, it was an article on a french online magazine called “Mademoizelle” that was the trigger. It was about the founder who stopped eating meat right away after watching Cowspiracy.

Two days later, here I was, in front of my computer, with my pasta dish and my boyfriend Ivan, watching this famous documentary. Let me tell you, we both got slapped in the face big time! We looked at each other and knew we had to stop eating meat. All we cared about (sustainability, deforestation & global warming) was right in front of us and we were able to change things starting with our plates.

The decision was easy to make but educating our brain wasn't…

How?

While it is not complicated to give meat up, it is not easy either. It takes time, knowledge and willpower. Our brain is a little evil, it can make you crave something you don’t need and this is the toughest part!

I never really ate a lot of meat except things that people don't enjoy such as liver, veal tongue, duck gizzards and of course chicken, ham, prosciutto... (well I am gonna stop here cause now I am craving Italian ham!). But truly, when you are strong enough to fight for what you care about and you can see your actions lead to results, this is a damn good reward!

Take your time, you don’t need to stop meat or animal proteins in one day. Start with beef because it is the worst for our planet, then remove the chicken. And please don’t listen to those people who try to rush you. Like in politics, they can be too extreme.

If you are thinking of becoming vegetarian, pescetarian or vegan, you need to know why. You need to have a solid reason to be able to go through it. Is it because you want to be healthier? Do you care about animal cruelty? Do you want to change the way we act on our beautiful planet? Finding your own purpose will make it much easier.

If you feel ready or want to satisfy your curiosity, check the Cowspiracy website (they have lots of great articles, videos and tips) and of course watch it. For those who are worried about seeing blood and disgusting slaughterhouse scenes, don’t worry you won't. This documentary is full of datas, interviews & facts but no awful footage.

 Meatless urban LEGENDs:

-Did you force your partner to give up on meat? Yes totally. Every night I handcuff Ivan at the bed, feed him with broccoli and order him to call me his Green Mama!

 -You don’t eat meat! How can you be so healthy? I grow this magical plant on my balcony which is perfect for baking little muffins. It gives me wings and makes me indestructible! No let’s be serious, I just make sure to replace all of the animal proteins I don’t eat by a plant-based diet. And I still eat a bit of fish, eggs and cheese.

-Ok you eat fish but don’t you know it is also animal cruelty, fish have feelings! Yes you are right but my first reason in this choice was not animal cruelty, it was sustainability. I never wanted to think about animals suffering in slaughterhouses when I was eating meat. But since I stopped, I now care about it.

I am not against hunters, farmers or meat itself. I am against industrialization, big factories and against all of this waste of energy we consume to produce meat. Oh and also palm oil, but this will be an other topic.

-No meat? Cooking must be sooo boring!!! I am actually having more fun than before. I love transforming regular meal into vegetarian/vegan ones. You have so many way to be creative while cooking. And I feel lucky to live in Toronto because Canada has lot of options for non-meat eaters.

 -I am a man, a real one, I will never stop meat! Good for you my friend… but you’re right we never know... A vagina could grow between your legs if you become vegetarian! Starting a plant-based diet or just being careful with your consumption is not gonna make you less of a man. Lots of male athletes for example don’t eat animal products, does it mean they lost their testicles on the road? Of course not!

I have a friend who told me once “Fanny I will never ever give up on meat, I love it so much!!”, then guess what: he doesn’t eat meat anymore. Please gentlemen, don’t let your fears stopping you from trying. I promise you will still look handsome.

-I truly don’t give a damn of our planet! Well no comment but one day you will change your mind…

Voilà folks, it was just an introduction. We promise to write an other article with more details, tips, advice and recipes (but only if you have been good followers, Green Mama is watching you!)

 With love.

Fanny