The Day I Said "F*** IT"

Not too long ago, I found an old diary of 13-year-old Juliette. Diary in which I wrote a table with my physical qualities and flaws. My flaws list was off the charts, ridiculously detailed and my quality one had one random item that I put just to write a little something there.

I used to dodge my reflection in the mirror. Maybe it sounds odd to you, after all, you have seen us pretty much half naked on our ads shamelessly and we say loud and clear how you should love and be proud of yourself.

But yeah, I used to dodge mirrors on a daily basis and I don't anymore. And you shouldn't either.

Never good enough: The teenaged years b*llshit

I feel like everyone's insecurities started when they were teenagers or younger. Probably because kids can be total jerks with each other. I had never noticed that I had a bit of a belly, or that my chest was absolutely flat until some girls told me. Then, it just echoed and became a part of me.

So, of course, teenaged Juliette started random diets while feeling like crap. Did I lose weight? Yes I did. But I developed body-dysmorphia very sneakily, mostly by seeing myself much bigger than I actually was for years. At now 30-something, I still deal with those kind of episodes here and there and I do believe it will always be a part of me.

I wrote another blog post about this specific topic over here, if you'd like to save this one for later.

Pretty much when I started being called "Fat".

When I was finally out for high school and went to Paris to study Photography (when I met Fanny!), it hit me: why am I making myself feel like that over some stupid comments from people I didn't even care about from years ago?

So I just decided to say "F*** It" and I gave myself a chance.

I gave myself a chance to first be okay with how I looked. Bit by bit. You can't just wake up one day and feel gorgeous after feeling the opposite for so long.

One of the first changes I implemented was to stop comparing myself to others and thinking they were a little evil because they looked so good. Instead, I started looking for people I could relate to, and people who inspired me for fashion, makeup, attitude, you name it. I experimented different looks until I felt comfortable, and until I simply felt like myself. I was careful by removing people that felt way too far out of reach as I knew how easy it could be to fall back into the comparison trap over fictional lives.

My next move was to stop giving that much importance to the negative comments from a minority of people and to open my ears to all of the positive ones that I was getting from people who matter. It is incredibly easy to ignore those. We often say it takes 5 good comments to remove a bad one, but it doesn't have to be that way.

I also stopped hiding my “flaws” to the best of my ability with very simple things. One example I can think of is the fact that I don't wear bras anymore. Me and my tiny boobies used to wear those (very uncomfortable) push-up bras and it just made it worse in my journey of liking myself. When I stopped wearing bras at home, I actually got used to just seeing my breasts the way they are, so much so that they actually became pretty to me over time. I enjoy the freedom of it so much now, those nasty bras retired years ago.

Last but definitely not least as it shaped my entire career: I challenged myself to take self-portraits. My face, my body. I created my little world just for myself at the beginning at first. Then it made me so proud that I felt confident enough to show them to others too. And even better, I started doing it for other people.

Working as a boudoir photographer has helped me tremendously as we use ourselves for marketing purpose for Scandaleuse and are showing pretty much everything. Being a hypocrite wasn't an option for me: I couldn't offer a service I wasn't comfortable with myself. That fear was stronger than my original insecurities, which made it easier to fight.

Meanwhile, Fanny was doing it too. That's probably why, when we sat down a few years ago to talk about what we could build together, we naturally went towards boudoir. To show you how good you look when you feel vulnerable. To show you how beautiful we see you. Yes you.

And now?

I am not here to tell you that my insecurities vanished. Like mentioned earlier, some will always be part of me and that's okay. I have learnt however to manage them by figuring out what my triggers are. For example, a simple change of routine can set me up for a week of body-dysmorphia. Knowing this fact makes it easier to detach and let it be, because I know it will pass when I just get back to my usual moves.

It's okay not to feel okay today, you'll feel better tomorrow.

If you feel crappy about yourself, I am giving you a virtual hug and I am telling you that everything is going to be okay. Don't let that win. Do not stay in the dark if it gets worse and worse, seeking help is not something to be ashamed of.

And if you are looking to throw your insecurities down the drain where they belong, book a boudoir session already (and get 10% off until oct 31st!)

The real motive behind Boudoir Photography

Ah. Pretty boudoir photos. Well that’s nice. You get them done and forget about them within a couple of months right? What if we told you that it’s actually false? Indeed, there are many benefits in boudoir photography, but one that we tend to forget is that it is just a perfect occasion to simply pause your busy life and take time to yourself.

(Disclaimer: we are going to focus on women because – well - that is what we are, but the following does apply to anybody.)

Everything and everyone else comes first.

If you are a caring human being, chances are your own well-being is not #1 on your priority list. Your family, your kid, your partner, your business, your problems, you name it, probably are. Congratulations, you are a decent person and we need more people like you!

However, it doesn’t mean your own self-care should be forgotten. After all, you do read it on Instagram every day, with a perfect woman doing an incredible yoga pose at sunset hashtagging #NamasteBitches

And this perfect lady isn’t totally wrong. The reality is that, by putting people or things before you every day, all the time, chances of you burning out will be real. You will end up walking around with a little rain cloud over your head, wondering who you are, what the meaning of life is and how the hell you get out of this.

We can assure you that you’re gonna have one day during which you will feel the urge to slam doors as hard as you can because you’re not supposed to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders but you are trying anyway.

Why is this bad for you? Because you need to be at peace with yourself to basically function and do great things. How can you if you don’t take time to…. take time?

Why are so many women struggling with this to begin with?

Simple answer: we are naturally nurturing. But most importantly, we are expected to be (you know, the ability to be mothers and also the fact that we actually give a crap about what’s around us and all that). You are expected to be relied on and quite frankly, chances are you will be considered selfish if you dared announcing loud and clear “screw it, it’s me time today!”. How dare you, since your primary function is to take care of someone?

So, what do we do? We restrain ourselves from doing what we really want to do. It doesn’t have to be something big like moving to Argentina but even little pleasures in life that could do us some good.

Do we even deserve to do this?

Of course, even when we decide to finally splurge and something for ourselves, it doesn't always come easy. A little demon often sneaks in our brains and tell you "how dare you?! This is not for you.”

Women constantly undervalue themselves and it is a sad but true fact. On top of taking care of people and their things, we also think that we are not worth less than anybody else. Probably because we are constantly reminded that we can always do more. So why would we reward ourselves with some “me-time” to begin with?

If you think this way, this is the moment when you take a seat, grab the tea we’re giving you, look at us right in the eye while we tell you “you are doing the best you can, you are awesome and you deserve a break.”

What does our boudoir work have to do with any of this?

Boudoir isn't just about creating gorgeous art with your sexy self. It's a whole experience. It’s a safe space in which you can let go, think about you, and more importantly: reconnect with yourself.

For a short amount of time in your busy schedule, you are a priority. You can be your true self without hiding behind anything and even better: without being judged.

By embracing your vulnerability and turning it into a strength, you will be able to grow (or rediscover) your confidence. And then what?

You make a powerful tool out of it and use it in your everyday life.

Not only will you feel stronger and become a better partner, friend, mother, but you will trust yourself a lot more to make bigger and scarier decisions. It will be easier for you to take on new challenges and succeed at them. All of this coming from a simple photoshoot out of your comfort zone.

Don’t underestimate the power of taking time to yourself. We all need to disconnect from our “duties” and reconnect with ourselves. And boudoir is a pretty neat way to do it.

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Boudoir over 40: why you should definitely do it.

Boudoir photography comes with an endless list of benefits that absolutely everyone can enjoy. We can also say that boudoir sparks a lot of interest in everyone, no matter your age, who you identify with, and if you like cilantro or not. Yet, a fear keeps crippling in the back of many people over 40 and it always comes out as a ”I am way too old to do for this".

Obviously no, you’re not and here is why you should consider it big time…

So, what is really behind the ”I am too old to do this”?

After asking our surrounding, this is what came out: being potentially judged by other people is scary as hell.

Just risking having someone say you look ”ugly” or ”ridiculous” is too much to handle.

And we don't blame you! Bodies change over years. Wrinkles show up, for some, babies have happened, provoking even stronger changes… Your body has become a map of memories and society has told us all that it looks bad and/or that it is not good enough. Fun.

None of the beauty standards are accurate.

breaking free from them is the best gift you can give yourself.

Everyone gets older, you are not doing anything wrong by doing it too. You’ve been putting in the work for yourself, for your body. It has been serving you for many years and it deserves to be embraced, celebrated, welcomed. YOU deserve to feel celebrated.

Following those unattainable standards creates limitations for you and you end up passing on experiences you may not only enjoy but could also contribute greatly to your happiness.

All of this because a random bunch of people decided that you shouldn't, for no good reason whatsoever. We are not gonna let those win now, are we?

Learning to appreciate your appearance also comes with the strongest perk of all: a rock solide self-confidence which leads to stop giving a rat’s ass about what other people think of you.

With this tool on your belt, you can finally do things for you, in your own terms. Now, that's happiness!

So what can you do in order to get to that sweet spot of self-acceptance?

• Understand that judgment is not about you.

It is about people projecting their own insecurities and fears on you.

We think about ourselves a lot, even when someone tells us a story that has nothing to do with us. For example, if you are mentioning something you'd like to do and the person you are talking to secretly wants to as well but doesn’t have the guts to do it: chances are they will try to dissuade you. They’re not talking about you, you are just mirroring something in them. Now that you know that, it is so much easier to detach from the judgement and not let it influence your decisions.

• Ditch the dummies.

If you get negative feedback on anything you do, you are not the problem. The people giving you the feedback are. And if this is a recurring problem, it sounds like you are not getting anything interesting from those people, the best thing to do is limit or end the relationship with them. You don’t need demeaning people in your life.

• Give yourself permission.

Now that you've ditched the impact of judgement, you have to allow yourself to do things. It sounds simple, but many of us don't.

Remind yourself that the best adventures are waiting for you outside of your comfort zone.

Even if it is just that colourful dress which caught your eye in the window that you would love to wear. There are absolutely NO GOOD REASONS not to wear something that could make you happy.  Don’t even try to justify it, just try to the goddamn dress instead. And don’t you dare dumping it at the bottom of your closet.

Boudoir gives you the chance to try a liberating experience, just for you.

It resets the image you have of yourself on the positive. You get an objective look, which is 100% of the time much better than what we believe - and gives you such a boost of confidence you will be craving for more.

All of this while… giving a great middle finger to expectations. That's always a nice way to satisfy our rebellious side!

Over half of our clients are actually over 40. And that includes women, but also men. You may not see it because many of them ask to keep their pictures private, but they are definitely here. So you are definitely not the only one tempted by the wonderful world of boudoir!

You 👏🏻 are 👏🏻 enough.
How about to start enjoying your life the way YOU want to? Some many beautiful moments await!

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Stop limiting yourself

If there is one truth in life, it is that we have all grown up following pre-selected ideas and standards. You, me, your parents, your friends, everyone, we have all been conditioned a certain way. While there is nothing wrong with that, it doesn't come only with positive or neutral outcomes, it also creates limiting beliefs.

If you think you don't have some, read the 5 main ones below and we can guarantee you will recognize yourself in at least one of them. The good news is that, if you are aware of them, you can start beating the crap out of them.

This blog post is based on an awesome French podcast. We have been implementing this topic with Scandaleuse since day 1 and this podcast sums it up beautifully.

What are limiting beliefs?

To make it simple, they are a kind of mental beliefs that defines how you act, make decisions, work, interact with people, even how to eat. You are 100% certain they are true and even, universal.

So far, it is pretty neutral.

Those turn into limiting beliefs the minute they become obstacles and are holding you back from reaching any goals you'd like, big or small.

Have you ever thought you couldn't or shouldn’t do something without an actual reason (aka: you will die if you do this or will deliberately hurt someone) ? Maybe out of fear or thinking it is not politically correct?

There you have it: you are facing your own limiting belief. The truth is: limiting beliefs are often based on a distorted and subjective reality.

The 5 big limiting behaviors:

1) Confusion:

You want to do everything and try anything and you are well aware of that. You have a lot of passions and interests and that's pretty great: you are just not afraid of taking on anything and a lot of people are blocked by the step from the get-go.

However, here is the trick: you don't stay in place long enough to persevere whatever you start. You end up switching tasks before being able to see actual results. This is often connected to impatience and short-term vision.

How to kick its butt:
Try to work on your patience and long-term vision: there are always positive outcomes out of a new activity, but you may not be able to see them right away. Trying setting deadlines away from the immediate future, aim for 6 months for example.

You are more than capable to create those results. Every single step counts and baby steps turn into a much bigger result if you stick to them.

2) Dissonance:

You want to start a new project, an idea, even a relationship but once you do it, you are gonna find an excuses and obstacles to stop it. You are mastering the self-sabotage.

This is connected to a lack of self-confidence and fear of disappointment and even pain.

Let's rip off the bandaid: you don't trust that you deserve something good and that shit will hit the fan no matter what, so you might as well step out and stay in your comfort-zone, even it it gets uncomfortable.

How to go all “FATALITY”on this:
It's going to be very interesting to try not to take anything personally and see every little obstacles that happen as challenges. Instead of seeing them as a sign to stop whatever it is you are doing, see them as lessons to learn so you can grow.

If you really look at it: your comfort zone has changed without you noticing anyway (you don't have the same routine as when you are 14 years-old right?) So there is no reason to stop your growth.

3) Lack of clarity

You have very vague objectives. This one is probably the biggest for me and I have been working on this. This is mostly connected to a fear of failure. You end up asking yourself why something is not working for you, while not setting yourself up for success.

How to “bye Felicia”-d it:
Instead of asking yourself WHY something isn't working, ask yourself HOW you can make this work for me?

Ask yourself the good questions, practice letting go of your fears of dreaming big and set strategies by having objectives you can measure, so you can see concrete progress.

4) Perfectionist

That's a pretty common one and I was also guilty of this before opening Scandaleuse. Starting a business has always been a dream of mine since I was little but I felt like needed to know everything and it needed to be perfect before even starting it.

I never felt ready enough and thought I needed to learn more constantly. How did I end up starting Scandaleuse with Fanny? Well the universe threw me a couple of really crappy bosses in the span of 3 years to force me out of the standard employee path and work for myself.

Of course, it is good to gather information and prepare, especially before starting a life-changing project but when it just ends up pushing back the start date, it's not doing you any good.

You're not gonna jump in the water without knowing how to swim a minimum. But you don't need an olympic medal in swimming before setting your toes in water.

This is connected to a fear of lacking competence (hello impostor syndrom) or even a fear of hurting people (eg: not leaving someone because it’s not the good time for them.)

How to kick it out of you (without waiting for terrible managers for years):
Understand that the perfect moment doesn't exist and you have to create it. Read that again. It's time to roll up your sleeves and tell yourself you are ready NOW.

5) People pleaser.

People's wishes are your command. You never really ask yourself what YOU want. You hate confrontations and conflicts, you don’t know how to stand up for yourself and set your boundaries.

This is a direct line to the need to feel loved and appreciated at the cost of your own identity. You want to feel needed and are terrified of other people's opinions about you.

How to go all “Kill Bill” on it:
Understand that it is not other people's opinions that are gonna hurt you, it is the stories you make up to yourself about those. People's judgement is not about you, it is about themselves.

Live according to your values. Not everyone is gonna agree with you, it is just impossible. By owning your opinions and values, you will attract people who share and respect them. And that is how you grow too because you start creating self-validation instead of needed it from others.

So now, which one are you?

Let us know if this blog inspires you to kick your limiting beliefs to the curb and how you plan to do so!

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From indoor jungle to trendy loft: you pick

Have you ever wonder how it would feel like to walk around a new-york style loft like it is your own? Or to have an indoor jungle with 85 plants? Can you picture yourself enjoying a cup of coffee in a sun-bathed midcentury loft?

Relaxing, right? Well, it can become a reality for you, even if it is just for a couple of hours. See, we don't have a photography studio. We have different lofts instead.

Many moons ago, when we opened Scandaleuse, we decided to rent designer's lofts all over the city, rather than commit to one location. And here is why…

1) So you can thrive in a environment you feel good in.

Maybe you would feel more at home in a warm loft, surrounded by plants. Maybe, on the opposite, you'd feel better in a more modern environment. Or even, standing on a rooftop overlooking the city, or right in the middle of the woods with the sun kissing your skin makes your heart sing.

Being in an environment you admire is extremely helpful to let go and embrace your boudoir experience. It makes you feel like a total badass, and this is the energy you want to channel.

The point is: you should be in a place that makes you feel good and that means very different things for everyone.

2) To fuel your and our creativity.

Standing right in a middle of a loft that belongs on Pinterest is a huge boost creativity and inspiration wise. For us as artist, it makes sense but you get to enjoy it too. You will find it a lot easier to pose like a boss in the right place. It is like you are Beyoncé for a second, and only great things can come out of this, right?!

On our end, it gives us the chance to renew ourselves constantly. If we were shooting in the same room for every single shoot and by the 5th one, we will be crawling on the floor, completely out of creative juice. Having multiple options keeps us passionate and creative. And if we stay passionate and creative, you get an awesome shoot. Two birds one stone.

4) To get photos that actually look like you and not others.

Traditional boudoir photos all look the same. They usally take place on a bed, have similar angles and backgrounds. Add the same studio in the recipe and everybody ends up with similar photos.

Picking a loft based on your vision and what makes you feel good allow us to highlight your personality and taste, rather than make you fit in the same mold as everyone else.

Boudoir is an intimate experience and if you decide to take this step, you deserve to have a fully tailored experience so you can express yourself, your way. If you’d like to get more information, you can see all of the details below!

If you’d like to find out what else you can expect from your boudoir shoot before jumping in, get our FREE pdf guide by signing up below!

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I stopped wearing bras and something cool happened

About three years ago, I stopped wearing bras. Mostly because first: I don't have much to support and second: because bralettes became trendier and trendier. And guess what? I only got a positive outcome out of it.

Disclaimer: I am team small boobies. I don't have any back issues. If you do, you may want to try it slowly before burning all of your bras. Just saying.

Put the stereotypes down and turn off the slut-shaming.

I started wearing a bra way before high school just to do like my friends and followed this vicious cycle for over a decade. People tend to think you are a tease if you walk around without one. Like your breasts are here to turn on people only and how dare you exposing them like that? Don't you see strangers can see your... your.... *whisper* nipples?!

NEWS FLASH: we all have nipples. Mind blown.

Between you and I, a few years ago, even I was slightly uncomfortable  when I noticed a woman not wearing a bra in a public place. Why? No freaking clue. Because, seriously, there are no reason to feel that way. I realize today how stupid it was but I guess I was conditioned to see strictly maintained breasts and BOOM, these ladies were't following "the rules". God they were right!

The best feeling in the world? Taking your bra off.

We all did it. You get home, you have this thing strapped around your torso and the minute you snap it off, you have such a good feeling of freedom that you can almost get a tiny orgasm. I did this for many years.

I remember reading more and more testimonials about how some women stopped wearing these very uncomfortable things and how no one died and the Earth kept on spinning.

It slowly made its way in my head and it hit me: why the hell am I even bothering wearing one if it's so uncomfortable to begin with? So one day, I bought... a bralette. At first, the idea of walking around without anything at all made me uncomfortable. But like anything good in life, you get use to it and it is worth it!

Bralettes are LIFE my friend. They are cute, they are cheap and HOLY MOLY they are COMFORTABLE.

I can safely say now that I ditched my old painful bras for a sweet collection of these little things. And then, something quite unexpected happened...

I actually started to like my boobs the way they are.

Truth is, I never really liked my girls until two years ago. My bras were actually a way to change their shape, hide them, lift them, you name it. Because of course, I only owned the push-ups, pretty thick, underwire bras. Again, I am team small boobies and the lifting is not an issue I need to worry about.

I was very self-conscious and wearing bralettes with absolutely no support or thickness made me see them the way they are on an every day basis. And I did better than getting used to them: I started actually liking them.

I have reading articles saying that if you wear a bra constantly, the shape of your breast is affected by it. Not wearing them allows your boobs to support themselves and they get in the shape they are supposed to be. To be honest, I don't even know if it's true, but I do believe it made a difference on me.

Don't get me wrong, I still like lingerie

I do think lingerie is awesome and can give you a boost towards your sexiness. I still have a couple of classics for when I want to spice things up and I will very likely get more. But it is not out of necessity anymore. It is because it makes me feed good.

Wanna try? Here are a few tips:

• You don't have to stop everything at once, every day. Start with a few hours or even one day a week when you are home, just to test the waters.
• Get a few bras without underwiring, or again, bralettes to help with the transition.
• Nipple conscious but ready to rock the no-bra? You can get those little pasties to hide your nipples until you are ready to... stop giving a f*ck.

I can't tell you the amount of tops I can't wear a bra with because of the design that I now own proudly. Free the boobies.

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Has Covid thrown Self-Love out the window?

Initially published on Limitless By Scandaleuse

It is no secret that many of us have been struggling since early 2020. Us too, especially the last few weeks. The vision of 2021 we were just hoping for despite it being fairly unrealistic, just faded. Covid wasn't, after all, going to stop spreading on January 01, 2021, but we preferred to deny it for a sec!

From positivity to frustration.

Not gonna lie, we were pretty positive for a while. Then, that faded too.

We feel like we are stuck in Groundhog Day, repeating the same tasks every day, not having a reason to dress up anymore, being deprived of what makes us feel alive (what we would do to just sit down in a café and people-watch…) and so for so damn long. And we can tell we are not the only ones.

In an attempt to bring some sunshine back, even for a moment, we decided to create a little self-love challenge through our social media. The concept was simple: dance like nobody’s watching, on the same song. It was a way for us to give womxn a chance to bring self-love back on the table, let loose, feel good about themselves and get a break from the covid-related news. And it really did the trick if you actually decided to follow the lead! So we started talking about it, heard many “this is so great, I love this, this is exactly what I need” and then came the moment to actually start doing it.

This is when over 70% of people backed out, for 2 main reasons :

“I'm just not feeling it anymore”
“I don't have the confidence".

And the truth is: we feel you.

Self-Love : out the window until things get better?

We've heard it so many time when the pandemic began: take this time to take care of yourself. Discover or reinvent, who you are. Spend quality time with yourself since we are stuck anyway. And many of us were good students! We learned new things and practices that have helped us so much and all of those kept our confidence up.

But how long can you do this for?

At some point, we need outside interactions. We need to go out. We’re tired of just being with ourselves. Hell, we don't even appreciate ourselves anymore as we have seen us way too much, so, yeah, self-love, bye bye.

Here is the thing thought: this is exactly when you should double down on self-love.

It is when you feel like giving it up that it is the most needed.

Take your time, there are no rules.

If you need a few days to pause and just become a couch potatoe with greasy hair, order take-out and just contemplate life, then do it. The idea here is not to put this damn pressure or guilt around self-care and self-love. Just slowly get back to it in your own time. No need to throw yourself into a yoga or meditation challenge and sign up for a zillion online classes, you can just start by doing something as simple as washing your hair (seriously, everything is always better after a shower, don’t you think?).

You will get the shy tingly feeling that feels so good once again.

You know, that feeling of glittery tummy? Then feed the crap out of it.

You're not alone feeling this way.

This challenge wasn’t a fail. Yes, we were hoping it would spread like wildfire and give a huge wave of positivity and self-love in our community and it just didn’t take. But at the end of the day, it gave us a chance to actually feel a lot less lonely. We are always encouraged to bottle up our feelings, to not make noise and be strong, because you know, thingscouldbeworselalala. But it doesn't stop anything from sucking. Which is kinda what we covered during our last live on Instagram, in case you are curious.

Saying it out loud can actually help move forward: so if you are reading this, take a moment to just say “F********CK THIS.” Release that tension, let it OUT.

We have something for you!

Since we still want to help you feel better, we have put together 6 easy tips you can use now to better your life. All you have to do is click below to get them!

We can never be too careful: Boudoir Photography

Phase two of the quarantine is almost here which means you will finally be able to do that boudoir shoot you have been dreaming of those past months! The first step is choosing the perfect photographer based on your vision and that process can be bit overwhelming, especially if it is your first time. But this step is really important because you want your shoot to reflect your personality and most importantly, YOU WANNA MAKE SURE YOU WILL BE SAFE!

Boudoir photography is a beautiful experience and an incredible tool to fully reconnect with yourself and get intimate photographs of your badass-self. But since boudoir empowers sensuality, it sadly has the tendency to attract malicious people who use it as an excuse to assault women.

It is sad that we have to take so many precautions but this is the kind of world we live in. This is why it is important to be extra careful when you book your session and we will tell you everything you need to know so it never happens to you!

You have less risks with female photographers.

I am sorry gentlemen I am not saying you are all the same, I know a lot of male photographers are very respectful to women. The goal of this post is not to put every men in the same basket, I just want women to feel comfortable when they're about to stand in lingerie or naked in front of photographers.

I have been working in the photography industry for 10 years and I have never heard stories of women assaulting their clients. Unfortunately, it seems to happen with some men and I am not only talking about the relationship between male photographers and women clients as it also happens between male clients and female photographers: 9 times out of 10, when we get an inquiry from a man, they turned out sketchy. For example, some have asked us to dress up sexy so they can feel turned on during the shoot. We have never gotten any bad emails from women.

Professionals are a go-to

We didn't spend years to learn our craft just to have a piece of paper to look pretty on a wall. Photography is a real career and doesn't only require to press the trigger.

So please, I am begging you, hire professional photographers who have a proper website, social media and reviews. Stop going on Kijiji or Craiglist to find the person who will take intimate pictures of yourself in his basement. This is how problems start most of the time!

Safety first

It is really easy with the internet to pretend to be someone else. As mentioned above, some men uses "boudoir" photography to get closer to women and get them to pose them naked in very sexualized poses. Sometimes, it doesn't go any further that just bad taste, but in other cases, nightmares have happened with women getting assaulted.

This is why it is important to meet your photographer face to face in a public place, a proper photography studio or at least on skype (actually this rule should apply in our every day life, we can never be too careful!).

We personally always, always, always meet our potential clients before starting anything. We have refunded a deposit because we did not feel safe. Plus it is pretty nice to talk about your photo shoot around a cup of coffee and pastry, isn't it?!

Also, know that you should be allowed to bring someone with you. If the photographer says no, leave, it's a red flag.

Last but not least: we know pricing is a big factor when choosing your photographer and it is why some women go for cheap photography services without thinking of the risks behind. Don't you think it will be better to postpone the shoot to save up what you need and get breathtaking photographs of yourself and a proper boudoir experience?

Do your own research

The good thing with internet is you can track people to see if they are serious and professional.

• Read the reviews people leave on google, forum and other websites. It will give you a good overview of the person and the company.

• Don't hesitate to ask questions to your photographer and tell her/him if you feel anxious. Your photographer should care about your feelings and do his/her best to reassure you. If the photographer doesn't really reply to your questions, keep them unclear or doesn't explain to you how the session will go, then go with someone else.

Trust your instinct

Either you go with a female or male photographer, there is one think you should always do: FOLLOW YOUR GUT!! 

The human body is very powerful for this and we are most of the time able to feel when something or someone is wrong.

If you have a bad feeling about the person who is going to do your photo shoot, don't go through with it.

The recap:

• Avoid Kijiji or Craiglist.
• Always meet with your photographer(s)
• Check the company's reputation with reviews or referrals.
• Have a contract signed and the details of the session laid out before the day of. Everything has to be crystal clear.
• Bring someone with you or let someone know where you will be and when you'll be done.

Stay awesome but more importantly: stay safe.

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Luck should not be an excuse

A lot of people around us seem to be amazed by the life and experiences we living. Our Scandaleuse's community, travels, photoshoots and projects we had (and keep having) seem to be impressive and people truly enjoy it. We have never received so many compliments and love from friends, family, clients and strangers since we have left France. “You guys are lucky” they say…

Luck has nothing to do with it

When we were living in London, during a cold winter evening, we were talking to a friend from photography school online. He was asking questions about our life in London and was telling us his dream was to go to Australia but felt a bit lost and scared about this idea. We remember him telling us: “you guys are so lucky for leaving Paris, I wish I could do the same but you know my english is pretty bad and living in another country is expensive”. So we told him we weren’t lucky, we just kicked our own butts and took the decision to leave. Don't imagine everything was perfect, when we arrived in London our English was pretty bad, we didn’t have a job and only a few savings.

We could have found every excuses to not go to England because yes it was scary. Instead we decided not to listen to our negative thoughts and booked our ride. And you know what? It was the best decision ever! In 8 years we have achieved a lot in our lives (both professionally and personally) and we have met a lot of wonderful people from all over the world, who helped us make our dreams come true.

But this has nothing to do with luck! We work hard, we take risks, we get out of our comfort zone, we stress, we cry but most of the time we have fun. You know why?

Because we just love what we do and this is the best motivation you can get!

Stop stopping yourself

We all have excuses and fears, obstacles we put in front of ourselves but there is something easy to understand:

if you want, you can.

Don't get us wrong, we are not saying all dreams are easy to realize (most of them require knowledge, money, strength, time and surrounding yourself with the right people), neither we are all born with a silver spoon in our mouth. But even if we don't all have the same financial situation or life benefits, living the life you dream of IS POSSIBLE when you have ideas, projects and a strong will to change.

There is a famous quote from Tony Gaskins that has helped us understanding the power of “I Can” and positively impacted the decision to open our business:

"if you don’t build your dream, someone will hire you to build theirs."

The "GYST": Get Your Stuff Done

The first step is the most difficult to take but once you start working on your project, it will get easier, especially if you got a proper organization:

• Find your goal

• Plan step by step how to make it successful.

• Make the steps to do so accessible and specific. It will sounds unreachable otherwise.

• Invest or find investors to help you financially

• Educate yourself on the knowledge you are missing to achieve your goal. (PS: Libraries in Toronto are free. Just saying.)

• Or build a team of people who know how to do what you don't

• Spend time on your project. Kiss the procrastination goodbye.

• And most important: DON'T GIVE UP!

There are wonderful tools (such as internet and libraries that are full of information) available to help you take the first step towards realizing your projects. And if you don’t know or if you can’t do, don't hesitate to ask people around you for help; you will be surprised to see you are not alone. People will be happy to help you!

Remember, you are the only one who can move things up for your own happiness and future. Don't you want to become the person you desire to be?

Now roll-up your sleeves and go build your mini-empire!

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Don't Change My Body.

Boudoir photography is the one kind that automatically must involve tons of editing. It should make sense: we are capturing such intimate photos, in a society where Photoshop is the norm and filters are a go-to before posting anything online. 

You should have a six-pack. But with curves if you are a woman. You can't be too fat or too skinny. Boobs are a must. Your butt is not big enough. Since the beginning of time, we have been dictated what looks "good". It has an impact on all of us. Some follow, some proudly say they don't. Apps are created to change your body with the tip of your fingers. It's in our everyday life.

If you remember well, we briefly mentioned in our boudoir approach article that we opened Scandaleuse also to fight against beauty standards and body-shaming. No one should have to suffer because the way they look. We want to show our Scandals the way they are in real life.

But we do edit them.

We see you coming: "oh my goodness how dare you?! You're like all "let's be yourself and ride a unicorn" and now you openly say you edit your clients?"
It is such a thin line between adjusting/removing a little something and changing a person during the editing process. Let's say that if people won't be able to recognize you on your pictures, whatever you are thinking of editing shouldn't be tweaked.

Our editing motto: "We take out what's temporary".

Now what does this means? Everything that you weren't born with, that's gonna fade over time, or that is caused by a specific pose, can be edited out, unless said otherwise.

Are you going to keep your pimples, bruises or uneven makeup? Nope.
A pose you like involved putting your arm super close to your chest, hence making it bigger than in real life? We can adjust it. It's not the way your arm look normally.
Your underwear was a little low on your waist, causing an imaginary roll? That's out too.
Our lighting is intensifying cellulite that you wouldn't really see in real life? We smoothen it.

There are things that we remove in case the client asks.

Again, you cannot come to us asking to make you thinner/curvier. If this is what you are looking for, we are not the girls for you. We are not plastic surgeons and don't intend to be.

However, if for example you have some stretch marks from after your pregnancy that's really making you feel like crap, we can smoothen them. 

Scars are a slightly different story. A lot of people, myself included, consider scars being a part of yourself. Our models have some. Some are very dominant, some aren't. No one has ever asked to have them removed in post for now. Would we do it if we were asked? Of course.

So yes, we do edit our clients. Just not in the way you would think. We have had to refuse inquiries in the past from people who were not really looking for pictures of themselves, but of someone they hope they could be. There is nothing we can do for you then, the work has to come from you first. We are here to celebrate you, not change you.

Now go hug yourself.

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I had this constant fear preventing me from actually living. If I died tomorrow, what would be my regrets?

This post is a part of our series “If I Had Listened", in which we're reached out to strong-minded women we admire to tell us about a moment they chose to trust their gut and follow a different path despite other people's opinion. Read them all!

If I had listened, I would never have become the woman I am today.

I am a stubborn person who has the unfortunate habit of listening to her intuition and taking risks. That's why I decided to write three situations when I chose to listen to myself rather than follow a logical path. Those ended up being the most decisive moments in my life.

When I left the family home

I come from a family where work is more important than anything else. My mother found me my first job as a maid in a hotel at 15 years old and I stayed there for over 8 years.

All family discussions revolved around this hotel. I was so unhappy for so long, my life became more unbearable every day.

I was too afraid of my parents’ reaction if I were to leave that I had to find a way to avoid justifying myself. I had to leave my home.

I didn’t have much money or furniture other than what was in my room. In order to quickly raise funds for my project, I sold my car and shared a place with a friend. I moved out in February 1999 and in April 2000 I left my job. The year following this decision was even more difficult. I was working part-time in a clothing store, but, I was "FREE".

Free from the pressure of my parents, free from work that made me sick, but most importantly, free to do what I wanted to do and free to become everything I wanted. I never regretted this decision and my parents finally understood that I wanted other things in my life.

When I got my heart broken and lost a friend

Around the same time, I got my heart broken. I am aware now that it was mostly because of my fear, my low self-esteem and lack of experience. He didn’t only break my heart into a million pieces, but it also made me physically sick.

Fear was my biggest enemy. It prevented me from having a beautiful story to share and fulfilling this dream of having someone close to me, even for a moment.

To top it all off, I also lost a dear friend. A man who, the first night of his retirement, died of an aneurysm. He had worked all his life to support his family, whom he didn’t see very often because he was so dedicated to his job. The days before his death, he told me how eager he was to rest, to "cut wood" at his cottage, take time for his family, and so on. He didn’t even have the chance to live one of those moments because he died just before. It was a wake-up call.

I was Working non-stop, doing exactly what was expected of me and I had this constant fear preventing me from actually living. If I died tomorrow, what would be my regrets?

I had way too many dreams to be yet fulfilled so I decided to take care of myself. I moved alone in my own apartment and I found a job that would allow me to achieve two of my three greatest dreams, sing and travel.

The third, finding my life partner is still a dream. The lifestyle choices I made so far haven't led me there yet, I hope to get there someday.

When I Left my roots, my family and my friends.

In my mid-30s, I felt like I was going around in circles. Even though I had been told that I had everything I needed to be happy, I felt the thirst for life

The anger that often gave me the boost I needed to move forward was getting stronger on a daily basis. It was time to make a decision and I decided to leave everything behind.

I left my family, my friends and my job aka financial safety net, just because I needed to see what was on the other side of the fence. It was tough, especially on the social aspect: at 35, you can’t create a social network as easily as in your 20's but, I didn’t give up and worked hard to build a life for myself. It's been 8 years since I left my roots and I have never regretted it.

Life challenges us every day but I like to create mine. It's weird isn’t it? It’s as if the events of everyday life were not enough for me.

People often think and plan their major life events such as their wedding or the birth of their child with a good idea of ​​what they want. Me, I only know two things. The song at my funeral is going to be Franck Sinatra's "My Way" and my funeral epitaph will look like "Thanks my God, it's finally over, thank you for not waking me up."

We don't have a studio.

We have several.

You would think that, when you are a boudoir photographer (or any portrait photographer), there is one thing you would need to establish yourself: a studio. Well Scandals, there is something you need to know about us (drumroll please): we don't have a studio. We actually have about 10 of them.

Because, yes, my butt is comfortably sitting on my office chair in my apartment as we speak, on a Wednesday afternoon. Don't get me wrong, we did think about getting a studio, and to be honest, it is the ultimate goal when we find the perfect spot that would not ask for 5 kidneys as a down payment (welcome to Toronto baby!). But for now, we decided to focus on something much more important to us: how to make your boudoir experience different from everyone else's.

Your boudoir session is about you (yes mam!)

This is the core of our business. We were soooo tired of seeing the same kind of boudoir photos non-stop online when we knew we can do so much more. Not all of you belong in those cutesy bed shots. If you are a Scandal like us, you can also belong on a rooftop during a busy night, overlooking the CN tower, or right in the middle of the woods in the early morning light with the sun kissing your skin.

Obviously, we can't only shoot outdoors. But instead of dealing with the same background over and over again, we decided to go the extra mile and make a list of awesome locations all around the city with complete different decor. You are a minimalist with scandinavian vibe? Boom, meet our all white modern loft just for you. You thrive through your rock'n'roll looks? Warmer and darker tones will likely suit you better.

Does it take time and patience? Ooooooh yes. Finding the good spots, visiting them, figuring out the fees involved with each, dealing with the landlords and availability… Trust me, it makes us sweat. But at the end of the day, we are here to build an experience around you.

We are artists (no joke.)

Like many creative people, we need to renew ourselves all the time. Otherwise, we get bored and it kills our souls bit by bit. Seriously, put a good photographer is the same room for every single shoot and by the 5th one, she/he will be crawling on the floor asking for mercy. Having multiple options keeps us passionate and creative. And if we stay passionate and creative, you get an awesome shoot. Two birds one stone.

And who wouldn't want to change her/his office on a daily basis? We have seen so many amazing places that belong on a Pinterest board and we are over the moon to be able to bring them to you.

We are not doing boudoir just so you feel good for one day. We are doing it so it impacts you, gives you a warm fuzzy feeling when you think about it and so you remember it for the rest of your life.

Now... what are you waiting for?

I am my biggest cheerleader but I am also my worst enemy.

This post is a part of our series “If I Had Listened", in which we're reached out to strong-minded women we admire to tell us about a moment they chose to trust their gut and follow a different path despite other people's opinion. Read the first post here

If I had listened I wouldn’t have been able to find happiness and confidence within myself to truly love who I am.

I am my biggest cheerleader but I am also my worst enemy.

There are so many factors in society that contribute to my marginalization. I am a woman, I am from Jamaica, I am of mixed race.

Throughout my life, I have faced discrimination for all the above characteristics, all of which have thrown me off kilter, beat down my confidence, made me questions my identity and made me seriously doubt who I am.

I had times that were so dark and lonely that, unfortunately, only my damaged mind and broken heart were there to keep me company.

It wasn’t until I was able to work on myself, with help, that I was able to realize that it was the constant negative self-talk festering in my mind that was making me crumble into nothingness.

It took a really long time for me to accept that I had the power to be my biggest fan even if I were being my biggest roadblock.

I used to resent the people closest to me for not meeting my expectations and not being there to save me from my mind. But choosing to be in charge of my own outcomes and happiness as opposed to relying on others was the biggest contributing factor to reaching the self-acceptance and happiness that I am working towards today.

I know that I will always be a work in progress and I totally accept that. However, I have now found beauty in my flaws and in my growth. I have stopped listening to the side of myself that constantly wants to hold me back from evolving as the beautiful human I am and I now place the ride or die version of Nathanielle at the forefront.