Wilferd Arlan Peterson once said: “Walk with the dreamers, the believers, the courageous, the cheerful, the planners, the doers, the successful people with their heads in the clouds and their feet on the ground. Let their spirit ignite a fire within you to leave this world better than when you found it.”
As some of you know, Juliette and I have been friends for almost 12 years. If we have stuck around each other for so long it is because we bring the best out of each other. We share the same values, have a lot of things in common, but we also have different personalities… We complete each other.
Of course we are not saying our relationship is perfect, all pink and glittery, it does happen we argue from time to time. But none of us is dramatic, and we are both open to each other feelings. This is, in our opinion, the best type of relationship you can have with someone.
Relationships aren't easy
Healthy relationships are a lot of work and commitment.
When you care about people in your life, you need to make time for them, be there for the best but also the worst, put your ego on the side, express your feeling and improve your communication, while putting down boundaries for yourself.
It is for sure not an easy process, but once you find the right people for you, they are worth the effort!
Energies are contagious
Does it ever happen to you that you are having a great time, feeling super happy and joyful, until you start talking to someone or just notice that person, and suddenly you feel down and sad? It feels like out of the blue that happiness was stolen from you. Energies are contagious and some people, sometimes intentionally, can drain you emotionally.
That is why it's very important to surround yourself with people who bring only positivity in your life.
You can choose to keep or let go of relationships
They say who we surround ourselves with, we become… And they are right. Your life is too important to through away the opportunity to become your best self and to have the life you deserve, because you make the mistake to spend time with people who are not good for you.
Fortunately you can make the decision to sort out your relationships and choose who you want to spend quality time with! It can be a heart breaking process, but at the end of the day it is needed.
Both Juliette and I, had to make that difficult choice at some point. The last painful one I can share with you happened in 2018. Juliette and I went to a workshop about femininity and the speaker said something I will always remember (she made us do this following exercise):
“Close your eyes. Think about all the aspects of your life and all of the things you have accomplished so far. How do feel about each of them?”
During that exercise, I thought about how much I am happy with Scandaleuse, how much I love my life in Canada and all my amazing friends. I thought about my family, that I miss them but how so supportive they are. Then I thought about my relationship with my partner of that time, and suddenly all I could feel was sadness, anxiety, and anger. I knew at that moment it was the end! This is when I took the decision to stop that long term relationship I was in. He wasn't a bad person, and I was really in love with him but something wasn’t working anymore and love wasn't enough to fix it. So I had to take the hardest decision of my life but I don’t regret it.
You need to know yourself first!
Letting go of someone is such a difficult step but 100% needed if you feel that relationship is bringing you down, whether it comes from a good friend, a lover or a family member. Here are a few steps to make this process easier:
Visualize the life you want and find people who share the same values.
Listen to your guts and identify how people around you make you feel.
You feel something is wrong, try to understand why.
Talk to the person about how you feel.
Look for a solution but don't hesitate to check out if you feel like it.