Street harassment, a sad reality

You guys probably read or heard about the recent cases of street harassment happening to women in Toronto.

To sum it up: Some women have been followed by black SUV while they were walking alone downtown Toronto. The drivers ask them questions about directions, getting pushy if they don't reply and in some cases, other men came out of nowhere behind the potential victims.

Street harassment is a reality.

As scary as it is, unfortunately it happens all over the world, some countries being worse than others. Toronto might feel unsafe right now but for Juliette and I, it is so far the safest city we have lived in with London (England). France, on an another hand, is another story!

The goal here is not to scare you, neither to be defeatist, like: “well this is life, nothing we can do about it!”. We just want to tell you that all of us have to be aware of those situations, even if we have never experienced them. Knowing what to expect and potential dangers is important to be able to confront them.

We both unfortunately experienced those behaviours: being followed by men walking in the street or driving their car. Being catcalled, from whistles to insults such as:

“Hey f**king b**ch!”,

“You know I can r*pe you if I want!”,

“Come see me, I will put it deep!”,

“You have beautiful legs, at what time do they open?”…

But also been touched inappropriately (for Juliette) and been beaten up (for me).

And we are not the only ones! Ask any french women if they ever faced any danger in France due to men's behaviour, the answer will be yes and many times…

What we learn from a young age.

Street harassment is so common in France that most of the time you can forget about getting help from strangers as people don't even pay intention to those behaviours anymore. It has become so common that there are many rules we are taught from a very young age to avoid as much as possible any trouble. And we wanna share those rules and advice with you, which can be real life savers:

• Never stay too long at the same spot:

  If potential attackers see you are alone and waiting for someone, they will try to talk to you. Changing spots will make it more difficult for them and you can easily see if someone is following you.

• Show confidence:

  Chin up and look straight! Why do french women have resting b**ch face? To show no mercy to potential attackers. Those men are looking for easy victims, you have less risk to get in trouble if you give the impression you will fight back.

• Be aware of your environment:

  Walk like you know where you are going and always keep an eye on people (without staring). If they see you walking fast with purpose, you become a difficult target for them. Be also careful when you are listening to music. Always try to keep hearing what's going on around you.

• Walk on the sidewalk where you can see cars coming:

  Walking on the opposite side of driving cars is a great way to avoid being followed by one and it makes it easier to keep an eye on what can be potentially coming for you.

• Don't take risks:

  Don't make the decision at night to chose a risky itinerary because it saves you time to go home or because it looks pretty. It is not worth your safety! So when it is dark outside, avoid empty streets as well as parks. You wanna stay close to people, in bright and busy locations.

• Don't hesitate to ask for help:

  Talk loudly, scream, grab someone in the street or find shelter in places of business. It is better to alarm people for nothing and feel stupid about it, rather than keeping it quiet and really get in trouble. They will stay with you until someone you know come to help you.

• Listen to your guts:

  We don't say it enough: TRUST YOUR INSTINCT! If you feel in danger, it is probably for a good reason. Don't think twice, without showing fear remove yourself from the situation as soon as you can.

• In case you are in trouble: act batshit crazy.

  Those kind of men don't want to attract attention, so give it your best performance. Scream, make weird animal noises if you have to, catch them off guard and flee.

What can you do if you witness those behaviours?

Most of the time, people pretend they do not see anything when someone is in trouble is because they don't know what to do or they care about their own safety. But there are so many things you can do depending of the situation, you just have to educate yourself and get creative. Sometimes the simplest actions works. Check out Loréal's video for a few examples:

Those situations should not happen, but they unfortunately do. So if you witness someone being harassed or worse, please don't hesitate to help. You don't have to do it alone, you can gather people around you to help as well.

WE HAVE TO STICK TOGETHER TO HELP PEOPLE IN NEED!

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We can never be too careful: Boudoir Photography

Phase two of the quarantine is almost here which means you will finally be able to do that boudoir shoot you have been dreaming of those past months! The first step is choosing the perfect photographer based on your vision and that process can be bit overwhelming, especially if it is your first time. But this step is really important because you want your shoot to reflect your personality and most importantly, YOU WANNA MAKE SURE YOU WILL BE SAFE!

Boudoir photography is a beautiful experience and an incredible tool to fully reconnect with yourself and get intimate photographs of your badass-self. But since boudoir empowers sensuality, it sadly has the tendency to attract malicious people who use it as an excuse to assault women.

It is sad that we have to take so many precautions but this is the kind of world we live in. This is why it is important to be extra careful when you book your session and we will tell you everything you need to know so it never happens to you!

You have less risks with female photographers.

I am sorry gentlemen I am not saying you are all the same, I know a lot of male photographers are very respectful to women. The goal of this post is not to put every men in the same basket, I just want women to feel comfortable when they're about to stand in lingerie or naked in front of photographers.

I have been working in the photography industry for 10 years and I have never heard stories of women assaulting their clients. Unfortunately, it seems to happen with some men and I am not only talking about the relationship between male photographers and women clients as it also happens between male clients and female photographers: 9 times out of 10, when we get an inquiry from a man, they turned out sketchy. For example, some have asked us to dress up sexy so they can feel turned on during the shoot. We have never gotten any bad emails from women.

Professionals are a go-to

We didn't spend years to learn our craft just to have a piece of paper to look pretty on a wall. Photography is a real career and doesn't only require to press the trigger.

So please, I am begging you, hire professional photographers who have a proper website, social media and reviews. Stop going on Kijiji or Craiglist to find the person who will take intimate pictures of yourself in his basement. This is how problems start most of the time!

Safety first

It is really easy with the internet to pretend to be someone else. As mentioned above, some men uses "boudoir" photography to get closer to women and get them to pose them naked in very sexualized poses. Sometimes, it doesn't go any further that just bad taste, but in other cases, nightmares have happened with women getting assaulted.

This is why it is important to meet your photographer face to face in a public place, a proper photography studio or at least on skype (actually this rule should apply in our every day life, we can never be too careful!).

We personally always, always, always meet our potential clients before starting anything. We have refunded a deposit because we did not feel safe. Plus it is pretty nice to talk about your photo shoot around a cup of coffee and pastry, isn't it?!

Also, know that you should be allowed to bring someone with you. If the photographer says no, leave, it's a red flag.

Last but not least: we know pricing is a big factor when choosing your photographer and it is why some women go for cheap photography services without thinking of the risks behind. Don't you think it will be better to postpone the shoot to save up what you need and get breathtaking photographs of yourself and a proper boudoir experience?

Do your own research

The good thing with internet is you can track people to see if they are serious and professional.

• Read the reviews people leave on google, forum and other websites. It will give you a good overview of the person and the company.

• Don't hesitate to ask questions to your photographer and tell her/him if you feel anxious. Your photographer should care about your feelings and do his/her best to reassure you. If the photographer doesn't really reply to your questions, keep them unclear or doesn't explain to you how the session will go, then go with someone else.

Trust your instinct

Either you go with a female or male photographer, there is one think you should always do: FOLLOW YOUR GUT!! 

The human body is very powerful for this and we are most of the time able to feel when something or someone is wrong.

If you have a bad feeling about the person who is going to do your photo shoot, don't go through with it.

The recap:

• Avoid Kijiji or Craiglist.
• Always meet with your photographer(s)
• Check the company's reputation with reviews or referrals.
• Have a contract signed and the details of the session laid out before the day of. Everything has to be crystal clear.
• Bring someone with you or let someone know where you will be and when you'll be done.

Stay awesome but more importantly: stay safe.

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