2021 is finally over… What a long year full of stress and fear, but also transformation and self-discovery. We don’t know for you but in our circle of friends and family, people have changed their life drastically and for the best.

Now that we enter 2022, there are still a lot of uncertainty regarding this pandemic and our future. But Covid is part of our life and we need to make plans based on what we want rather than stressing out on a situation we have little control over.

This new year should be about chances and opportunities.

It is the possibility to start off on the right foot, find the motivation to push yourself to become the person you desire to be. We can hear some of you being a little sceptical:

“Changing is scary and sometimes too difficult!”.

Yes you are right, it can be. But as long as you understand that you have the potential to do everything you want in life (and willing to do the work), then let us reassure you that it will be worth it 💛

And we are here to help you out! Here are 5 tips to start 2022 the best way:

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First, take a moment to reflect

You have to do this exercise alone and in a quiet place (can be indoors or outdoors). Find somewhere to sit comfortably, relax your body and take a deep breath.

Think of how you have changed this past year or the past 10 years. Are you living the life you want to be living? Do you feel in harmony with your mind? What can you do to get closer to that version of yourself you are dreaming of?

Next, think about all your obstacles, your fears, and your limiting beliefs that are holding you back from that path. Feeling burnt-out; believing you are not enough; or that you are stuck in a routine that doesn't work for you anymore. All of those negative feelings have to go.

We want you to make a pact with yourself to leave behind all the toxic thoughts and beliefs so you can focus on your present to better your future.

Close your eyes when you are ready to reflect.

What kind of person do you want to become

It is really easy to get lost as an individual, not knowing who we really are because we have been living our life for others instead of focusing on ourselves. We act in a certain way hopping to please our family or friends, forgetting to be selfish a little.

Well it is time to change this behaviour and learn to put yourself first. To help you switch your mindset to become a better version of yourself, write down a list of goals (either big or small) you want to achieve. It can be anything:

Practicing public speaking because you don't want to be shy anymore
Taking dance classes because you want to feel in harmony with your body
Learning cooking because you want to eat healthy
Or doing a boudoir shoot because you want to reveal your sensuality

Having concrete goals will give you the motivation to move forward in your future, and make you feel excited about taking decisions while pushing you to adapt your routine.

Let go of the past

All of our fears, hopes and believes come from our education and past experiences, either they were positive or negative. Even though they are unhappy, a lot of people hold on to their past because they are too scared to move forward. It is really easy to get trap in a life we don't want anymore if we don't learn to let go of painful memories.

The first step is to understand what is holding you back. Are you holding on to a failed relationship? Is there someone you need to forgive? Maybe you need to forgive yourself. How can you let go of anger or fear to implement a peaceful state?

Once you have understood what’s holding you back, ask yourself how you can create a positive change and reflect on how this new chapter of your life will make you feel. What is going to change for you?

Then make the conscious decision and accept the fact that YOU HAVE THE CHOICE to let it go. Only YOU can decide to move on!

Focusing on the present, all of the good things and the happiness in your life can also help you to let go of negative thoughts and fears. YOU can create your own happiness.

Surround yourself with good people and remove toxic relationships from your life

There is a quote from Wilferd Arlan Peterson we really like:

“Walk with the dreamers, the believers, the courageous, the cheerful, the planners, the doers, the successful people with their heads in the clouds and their feet on the ground. Let their spirit ignite a fire within you to leave this world better than when you found it.”

Starting a new year is the perfect opportunity to sort out your relationship with your friends and family. You don't have to stick with people who don't bring you happiness anymore or the ones who bring you down. You want to spend quality time with people that matter.

It is such a difficult step but 100% needed if you feel that relationship is bringing you down, whether it comes from a good friend, a lover or a family member. When it comes to your feelings and happiness, you have the right to be selfish. It does not matter if the person is nice or depressed, if you are in love or staying because it is convenient, you cannot let fear or guilt dictate your needs. It is time to think about how you want to feel!

Prioritize yourself

2022 should be about YOU!

Remember we were talking about goals previously, ask yourself what is it you want to accomplish this year? What are your dreams?

We are not saying you should not care for others but putting yourself as a priority is the fastest way to get closer to your goals. You can do anything when you see life as an ocean of possibilities and opportunities. So why letting people slowing you down when you can live your life to the fullest?

We all change and most of the time without realizing it as it is a natural process. You are not the same person as you were 5 years ago, and in 3 years from now you will also be different.

Take this new year as your opportunity to grow and let go of everything that is keeping you from being HAPPY 😘!

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If there is one truth in life, it is that we have all grown up following pre-selected ideas and standards. You, me, your parents, your friends, everyone, we have all been conditioned a certain way. While there is nothing wrong with that, it doesn't come only with positive or neutral outcomes, it also creates limiting beliefs.

If you think you don't have some, read the 5 main ones below and we can guarantee you will recognize yourself in at least one of them. The good news is that, if you are aware of them, you can start beating the crap out of them.

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This blog post is based on an awesome French podcast. We have been implementing this topic with Scandaleuse since day 1 and this podcast sums it up beautifully.

What are limiting beliefs?

To make it simple, they are a kind of mental beliefs that defines how you act, make decisions, work, interact with people, even how to eat. You are 100% certain they are true and even, universal.

So far, it is pretty neutral.

Those turn into limiting beliefs the minute they become obstacles and are holding you back from reaching any goals you'd like, big or small.

Have you ever thought you couldn't or shouldn’t do something without an actual reason (aka: you will die if you do this or will deliberately hurt someone) ? Maybe out of fear or thinking it is not politically correct?

There you have it: you are facing your own limiting belief. The truth is: limiting beliefs are often based on a distorted and subjective reality.

The 5 big limiting behaviors:

1) Confusion:

You want to do everything and try anything and you are well aware of that. You have a lot of passions and interests and that's pretty great: you are just not afraid of taking on anything and a lot of people are blocked by the step from the get-go.

However, here is the trick: you don't stay in place long enough to persevere whatever you start. You end up switching tasks before being able to see actual results. This is often connected to impatience and short-term vision.

How to kick its butt:
Try to work on your patience and long-term vision: there are always positive outcomes out of a new activity, but you may not be able to see them right away. Trying setting deadlines away from the immediate future, aim for 6 months for example.

You are more than capable to create those results. Every single step counts and baby steps turn into a much bigger result if you stick to them.

2) Dissonance:

You want to start a new project, an idea, even a relationship but once you do it, you are gonna find an excuses and obstacles to stop it. You are mastering the self-sabotage.

This is connected to a lack of self-confidence and fear of disappointment and even pain.

Let's rip off the bandaid: you don't trust that you deserve something good and that shit will hit the fan no matter what, so you might as well step out and stay in your comfort-zone, even it it gets uncomfortable.

How to go all “FATALITY”on this:
It's going to be very interesting to try not to take anything personally and see every little obstacles that happen as challenges. Instead of seeing them as a sign to stop whatever it is you are doing, see them as lessons to learn so you can grow.

If you really look at it: your comfort zone has changed without you noticing anyway (you don't have the same routine as when you are 14 years-old right?) So there is no reason to stop your growth.

3) Lack of clarity

You have very vague objectives. This one is probably the biggest for me and I have been working on this. This is mostly connected to a fear of failure. You end up asking yourself why something is not working for you, while not setting yourself up for success.

How to “bye Felicia”-d it:
Instead of asking yourself WHY something isn't working, ask yourself HOW you can make this work for me?

Ask yourself the good questions, practice letting go of your fears of dreaming big and set strategies by having objectives you can measure, so you can see concrete progress.

4) Perfectionist

That's a pretty common one and I was also guilty of this before opening Scandaleuse. Starting a business has always been a dream of mine since I was little but I felt like needed to know everything and it needed to be perfect before even starting it.

I never felt ready enough and thought I needed to learn more constantly. How did I end up starting Scandaleuse with Fanny? Well the universe threw me a couple of really crappy bosses in the span of 3 years to force me out of the standard employee path and work for myself.

Of course, it is good to gather information and prepare, especially before starting a life-changing project but when it just ends up pushing back the start date, it's not doing you any good.

You're not gonna jump in the water without knowing how to swim a minimum. But you don't need an olympic medal in swimming before setting your toes in water.

This is connected to a fear of lacking competence (hello impostor syndrom) or even a fear of hurting people (eg: not leaving someone because it’s not the good time for them.)

How to kick it out of you (without waiting for terrible managers for years):
Understand that the perfect moment doesn't exist and you have to create it. Read that again. It's time to roll up your sleeves and tell yourself you are ready NOW.

5) People pleaser.

People's wishes are your command. You never really ask yourself what YOU want. You hate confrontations and conflicts, you don’t know how to stand up for yourself and set your boundaries.

This is a direct line to the need to feel loved and appreciated at the cost of your own identity. You want to feel needed and are terrified of other people's opinions about you.

How to go all “Kill Bill” on it:
Understand that it is not other people's opinions that are gonna hurt you, it is the stories you make up to yourself about those. People's judgement is not about you, it is about themselves.

Live according to your values. Not everyone is gonna agree with you, it is just impossible. By owning your opinions and values, you will attract people who share and respect them. And that is how you grow too because you start creating self-validation instead of needed it from others.

5 tips to start 2022 the best way