Does boudoir photography make you feel nervous?

Is doing a boudoir shoot on your bucket list but you keep pushing it back because you feel nervous? Maybe it is your first time and really don't know what to expect. Or maybe you have done one in the past and want do this experience again, but your body has changed and it’s stressing you out?

If so, keep reading. This blog is definitively for you!

Don't give up on the idea of doing a boudoir shoot just because it makes you feel nervous

It's the middle of the afternoon and you need to take a break from work. So you open your Pinterest account to check out your boudoir board and daydream about the day you will finally do that shoot. You scroll down all the beautiful images you have been saving over the time, picturing yourself rocking your fav outfits. When suddenly that happy moment is interrupted by nasty little voices in your head:

“I don't know how to pose, I will look ridiculous!"

“I am not fit enough, I have to lose weight before doing that shoot!”

“I am too old! It is such a bad idea.”

Your confidence is decreasing, your heart starts racing, your palms are sweaty, and your chest is getting heavy. So you quit Pinterest telling yourself it was such a bad idea to begin with, and shut down your desire to try boudoir photography.

It is normal to feel scared or anxious about new experiences, but you should not give up on a dream because of those negative feelings. When you do, you miss out on tons of new opportunities, badasseries, and discoveries. Especially for boudoir as it is so much more than getting pretty pictures:

It is about giving the middle finger to fear, judgment, and expectation!

And honestly, it makes you feel like you can conquer the world (if you can strip down in front of a stranger, nothing can stop you!).

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90% of our clients are first timers, and have all felt nervous before their shoot. We don't blame them! Boudoir photography can be a vulnerable experience. Most people have so much shame and anger towards their body that the idea of showing more skin than they are used to is scary for them.

We also have clients who did a boudoir shoot in the past, but since, their body has changed (they got pregnant, gain/lost weight, got new scars, or just aged) and it has ben very difficult for them to accept those changes.

In our opinion boudoir is one of the best way to learn to accept and see your body the way it is: naturally beautiful.

Let's destroy those negative beliefs and clichés that are stopping you from experiencing boudoir photography

If you stressed out with the idea of doing (or re doing) a shoot, it is probably because you have a negative image around your body or about boudoir photography. Today we want to destroy those limiting beliefs so you can finally let go and experience more things in life (and book your shoot 💪):

• “My body is not beautiful enough.”

This one is huge and definitively has to go. If you have this thought, please stop for a second and remove it from your mind. You are freaking beautiful! And yes we know what you are thinking: "How can you know, you don't know what I look like?!".

First of all, beauty is beyond the physical plan. If you are kind, compassionate, and care about other things than yourself, then it shows on the outside.

Second, they are many kind of beauty in this world. It is not because you don't follow the “usual" beauty standards that you are not beautiful.

Last but not least, boudoir photography should not be about showcasing only one type of body. Opening Scandaleuse was our way to change the game in the boudoir world and make this beautiful art accessible to every shapes and sizes.

• "I am not photogenic."

False. Everyone is photogenic. What you are is not being comfortable in front of a camera. And that is ok! Take the most beautiful person in the world, if that person were to feel really uncomfortable about herself and during the shoot, the finale pictures will not be remarkable.

This is why we believe it is very important to choose a photographer that will match your vibe. It is not just about liking their work but also feeling comfortable with their energy. If you feel you cannot be yourself with a potential photographer, then find a new one.

• “I am not a model.”

Nobody expect you to know how to pose. It is our job, us photographers, to guide you along the process. When you work with Juliette and I, we take the time to demonstrate each poses we have in mind, we make sure you feel comfortable doing them and if not we show you other variations. We also make sure to pose you accordingly to your body type and the vision you have of your shoot.

We know posing is not easy. Believe it or not we have been in your shoes. Like you, we have felt really awkward the first time we had to pose 😬.

To help you relax, see this shoot as a fun experience, something you will try a few times in your life. It is a moment between you and yourself, no one is here to judge you.

• “I am too old.”

There is this misconception around boudoir photography that is only for people in there 20's / 30's. This is absolutely false! We have had clients doing a shoot to celebrate their 60th birthday or just to rock their 50's. The only rules that applies in the boudoir world is to do it for yourself.

Age should not be an excuse to stop experiencing life!

• “I am transgender, I guess boudoir isn't for me.”

Many people think boudoir is only for cisgender women. This common belief does not surprise us because most photographers, especially male ones, still offer traditional boudoir sessions (overly photoshopped women, on a bed in an hotel room, doing sexualized poses). Even if those sessions attracts one type of clientele, it does not reflect what boudoir photography truly is and most importantly, it does not make boudoir inclusive.

For us boudoir is for anyone, doesn't matter what you identify to. You should not be rejected by any professionals because of your gender.

Take a deep breath, you got this!

Now that you know that, yes, you can do a boudoir shoot (because there is absolutely no criteria to stop you from doing it), you can put it back on your dream list or even book your shoot now! To make this process even smoother, check out our blog about everything you need to know before doing a boudoir shoot.

If you still feel nervous about it and are not sure if you are ready to try boudoir, then take your time to do more research. Don't book last minute, it is not a race. The more you rush into it the more stressful it gets. And once again, make sure to find the best photographer for you, someone who will make you feel very comfortable.

This shoot should be a fun and empowering experience. You will see that once you book yours, the excitation will replace the anxiety. So go for it 💋

We would love to stay in touch and have you in our community of badass people. Sign up to our newsletter below for more tips and tricks (we promise to not send you more than two emails per week!) ⬇️

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The Female Collective: the power you need to join.

A little while ago, we came across a story of an actress who had some risqué photos, taken a few years before for a magazing, resurfacing. While she said she had nothing to be ashamed of and was actually proud of her photos (YES!), a wave of negative comments popped everywhere. You know, the classic judgy, borderline slutshaming kind.

While this is unfortunately common, we were surprised to see that the majority of those comments came from women.

So, while the media just screams “women supporting women” with a layer of pink glitter, it seems that when it comes to actually do it, we still have a bit to go.

Woman to woman hostility: why does it even happen to begin with?

Is it jealousy?

You must have heard growing up ”ugh, she's just jealous” when you got criticized by another girl, especially when it comes to a physical comment. Just because you get a nasty comment on your physique doesn’t mean it is because the other woman wants to look like you. We personally think it is an easy way to label it and it goes much deeper than “just” jealousy.

Heavy expectations

Gigantic expectations have been weighing on women for centuries. So much so that we have been deeply conditioned to think that certain things are acceptable for women, and some aren’t, for no good reason whatsover. It creates frustration that builds up so much over time that when someone dares to ignore those expectations, it just hurts too much that we couldn't do it and they could.

The fear of judgment

What is the #1 obstacle that makes us feel so small and intimidated when we want to try something new? The fear of being judged.

Many of us are terrified by the idea that someone points the finger at us laughing when you dare trying something outside the box. And what happens next? We give up before even starting, thinking it is not worth the risk. Once again, when someone gathers the courage to do something we put in the risky category and comes out the other end safe & sound AND happier, frustration comes into play.

The backlash this actress received had nothing to do with the actual photos of her body. They were about the fact that she did something considered “improper” but yet she looks beautiful & confident and she is owning it.

Something “bad” is not supposed to make you feel or look good and she went against that. That’s why the frustration monster popped its head out and when we don't acknolewdge it, it manifests into toxicity.

Women have already so many battles to fight, and there is one we can easily win: let’s stop turning on each other and empower each other instead.

The female collective: an endless source of power that benefit us all

When we are aware of those super-powers, this is when magic happens.

Working of the common good is our biggest strength.

The majority of us get higher energy when we know we contributed to the common good. Over the years, it got labelled as a maternal and nurturing instinct, making it more limited and not necessarily taken seriously.

But this is a major asset. Collective work is how changes happen. You can only go so far alone, and we got that many moons ago without even noticing.

Mastering the art of empowerment.

How many times have your friends given you the boost of confidence you needed? Out of these, how many times was it much stronger than your own pep talk?

Thanks to our ability to work for the common good, we have also developed another skill: creating a bulletproof support system. We can make anyone feel seen and appreciated in a matter of minutes.

We are the best cheerleaders and through this, we don't need to empower ourselves because someone is doing it for us while we empower someone else and so on.

Unstoppable - our project that illustrated it all

Everything we just wrote really sunk it our brains back in 2018 after witnessing it all for a couple years. We empowered women with our work and it empowered us back. So we decided to illustrate it by posing 12 women who didn't know each other, together, in a context deemed "inappropriate” to the outside world.

This project created such a peak of confidence and energy that we were all on cloud 9 for days. Those reminders are precious and very much necessary to keep building positive changes.

And we are doing again, bigger & louder this time.

Sign up for our newsletter below to get all of the updates, behind-the-scenes and join our community. We would be happy to be your support system. 😉

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Let's talk about choices

Today we are writing about something that is not boudoir related but that really impacts us as women: last week, Texas laws banned abortion at six weeks, and this is not ok!

It does not matter why some women decide to stop their pregnancy or when they want to do it, abortion is a choice and a right, and should not be a political debate.

My body, my choice

Since this law was voted, my social media have been saturated with anger, and extreme comments coming from both sides. People are very opinionated and an online war started between those who are for abortion and those who are against.

As usual instead of keeping their energy to fight people who create those ridiculous laws, people fight each others and totally lack compassion towards those who are facing this difficult situation that is an unwanted pregnancy (either they want or not to get an abortion). Either you are for or against abortion, you have to understand it is a personal decision.

There is no need to become hateful towards people who don't make the same body, sexual, or reproductive choices as you do.

If I were to take Juliette and I as an example, the new Texas law and seeing that abortion is still illegal in other countries makes us very angry, as we are pro abortion. But we understand and respect the fact that some women will never do an abortion for themselves.

People have different opinions and needs. What work for someone does not necessarily work for someone else. Creating laws that go against people's freedom is revolting and should not happen anymore.

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It is not a man decision

I can imagine some people being pretty upset after reading this. But I stand by what I am about to say:

When it comes to the woman body, men should not be allowed to make any decisions about it.

Of course I am not saying they don't have the right to have an opinion. I just believe that if you cannot physically experience a situation (such as an abortion for example), there is no way you can understand enough to take decisions or create laws about it.

Every topics around the woman body should stay in women's hands.

That being said, it does not mean that all women would respect others women choices. There are also a lot of men who fight beside women, and believe anyone should be able to decide what is best their own body and health.

The danger of making abortion illegal

“Banning abortion doesn’t stop it from happening, it just drives it underground” - Margaret Wurth

Beside taking away a woman's choice, making abortion illegal can also become a factor of risk or death. Women who really want to stop their pregnancy are not gonna magically changed their mind because it is illegal. They will find a way to terminate it, and a lot of times it means doing it in an unsafe environment or by people lacking medical training.

Even if clandestine abortion is “safer” than before because of medication and technology, women still die from it every day.

Unwanted and unplanned pregnancies will always happen. It is important to fully legalize abortion in every countries so women and girls can safely have the choice to terminate it if they wish.

Learning about it

You can find tons of useful resources about this topic online.

• Planned Parenthood is a great platform for everything related to sexuality.

• If the topic around abortion triggers your interest, I highly suggest that you read stories of women going through it, or even how life is in countries where abortion is illegal. Learning is a great way to open your mind to things you might not fully understand.

• I also recommend this beautiful movie called Vera Drake, that relates the story of a British housekeeper in 1950's who provides abortions to local women with unwanted pregnancies. When the authorities learn of her illegal activities, Vera Drake loses the admiration of many around her and possibly her freedom.

Juliette and I never had to face that choice and if one day we do, we are lucky to live in a country where we can choose. Today this blog is for those around the world who don't have the privilege to decide for themselves ❤️

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Back to school: How to keep a positive body-image and stay sane

We are only a few days away from September, also known as the “back to school/get shit done”. For many of us, this is when we feel the shift for a new year. We are going back to to-do lists, productivity boost and even some resolutions so we can ace everything.

Don't get us wrong, we LOVE all of the above. It feels new & fresh. But it is very much mind-oriented and boom, just like that, we forget above all the love and work we have put into on our body-image until we wake up feeling crappy about it.

How can you keep building or maintaining your good-body image when you are about to shift your focus & all the fall treats are just around the corner?

Before you keep going, if you struggle with your body-image, you may want to check those other posts out:

- 📖 You deserve to love your body (again!)

- 📖 What to do when your body-image is down the drain.

Alright, let's dive in! Here are 5 tips for you to keep giving some loving to your hot’bod’ and stay sane!

Enjoy the damn treats.

Life is short and it is definitely not made to go on a drastic diet every chance you get. After summer, especially if you feel like you “let yourself go”, you may feel some anxiety now that the summer bubble has burst. If you feel the need to re-balance, sure, but don't stop yourself from enjoying all the beautiful treats that come with fall. Enjoy your Pumpkin whatever with a smile!

Remind yourself that you don't have to change anything if you don't want to.

It is so easy to fall into setting crazy expectations for yourself in this kind of back-to-school energy. Everything is a question of balance: you can ride that wave and create new little habits here and there if you feel the need to, but we are personally not on the team of “let's change everything because that way, I will be smarter, stronger, wonderwoman.”

Don’t create pressure on yourself or add extra weight on your shoulders. Think slowly, but steadily, just like the Tortoise! 🐢

Don't hide behind layers

You didn't gather the courage to wear all your summery outfits to go back to using clothes for hiding rather than for pleasure! Keep wearing whatever outfits make you feel amazing, especially because Fall fashion is lovely and then we all turn into puffy Barbapapas in winter.

Try something new (like -ahem- a boudoir shoot!)

Instead of thinking “I'm gonna become the most organized person ever”, how about “I should try something I've always wanted to do!” ?

Of course, we suggest trying a boudoir session, you know, before the tan fades away! 😉 Not only it is a great experience that gives you a huge confidence boost, but it is also one of the best ways to appreciate your body! If you are intrigued but unsure what to expect, you can have a look here or sign up for our newsletter below!

Create or maintain your self-care routines

Take advantage of this back-to-school energy to either:
– Create a new self-care routine that works for you, or;
- Make sure to keep a close look on the one you already have!

Summer is synonym of relaxing time for most of us. We're not afraid to spend extra time to take care of ourselves. Good news: it doesn't have to stop! Even if you can't sunbathe under the sun anymore, who says you can't replace it with something equally enjoyable?

Keep taking breaks, spend some “doing nothing” time, hell, schedule a massage for next week or something!

There you have it, you are now ready to keep your body-image on the positive side while kicking some butts! Now, go take care of yourself.

Keep in touch with us and get more some tips to rock your body & exclusive deals! ⬇️

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Everything you need to know before doing a boudoir shoot

Is doing a boudoir shoot tickling your fancy? We don’t blame you, it’s an awesome experience, and yes, you should try it! Before you hop on this wonderful adventure, allow us to share with you some good pointers (and likely remove any concerns!)

1) Always, always, always safety first!!

We can't stress this enough: do not find your boudoir photographer on Craiglist or Kijiji. Don’t even try, it is never a good idea. Always go with professionals who have a clean website, reviews, and social media. We have already gathered some very helfpul tips regarding your safety here, feel free to give it a look!

2) That boudoir shoot should be for you first

We are going to be very honest with you, doing a boudoir shoot only for your partner isn't a good idea. Of course it can be a great bonus and they usually love to see the result, but the core reason should be around YOU (especially if it is your first shoot ever).

Boudoir photography is a very empowering journey and makes you feel like you will conquer the world (once you strip down in front of two strangers, nothing else can stop you 😉), but it is not the most easy experience. For most people it is a huge step out of their comfort zone, which can make them feel vulnerable.

On top of that, boudoir pushes you to see your body through someone's else “eye”, there is a big part of letting go of control.

When you do something for someone else, you hope that person will love the outcome. So instead of focusing on you and enjoying the process, you will end up stressing out because of someone's else approval (and that is not the goal of boudoir photography!). Boudoir photography is all about growing confidence, getting some me-time, and the benefits of doing something empowering.

It is also important to know WHY you want to do it. If you are unclear about why you are even here in the first place, chances are you won't be able to fully enjoy the experience, which could lead to disappointment. You don't need to have a clear vision of what you want or set ideas (we actually love when our clients go with our flow as photographers), but you need to know why you are doing it: what are your expectations, how do you want to feel after your shoot…

3) You do not need to know how to pose

Do you have to be a professional model to do a boudoir shoot? Absolutely not!

You don't even need to have any experience in posing. This is our job as photographers to guide you and pose you accordingly to your body type and the vibe you want your pictures to have. You can experiment at home if you wish, to see what angles you like best around your pretty face and body (we created a complete boudoir guide if you want to learn to take your own pictures at home), or you can just improvise the day of your shoot if you feel like it. But you should not be left alone in front of the camera without any directions.

THE GOAL FOR YOU IS TO BE ABLE TO ENJOY THE SHOOT FREELY, AND NOT BE STUCK IN YOUR HEAD WONDERING IF THE POSE YOU HAD TO COME UP WITH ON THE SPOT LOOKS GOOD.

4) You don't need to wear the classic lingerie set

Every outfit can be turned into a boudoir one, no exception. You just have to remove some layers to show some skin and boom, done. You don't have to fall into the traditional lingerie outfits if it is not your jam.

PICK YOUR OUTFITS AROUND HOW THEY MAKE YOU FEEL RATHER THAN LOOK.

Rock a blazer with heels if it makes you feel confident, hop in a loose sweater and cute panties if it makes you feel feminine. Get creative, experiment, get those outfits you bought many moons ago and never wore (you know those pieces in your closet such as jewelry, shoes, or clothes, you never dare to wear because they are too fancy, colourful, shiny…). You need to look like you on your images, not like you are wearing a disguise.

(By the way, our online guide as a great styling video giving you tons of examples and you can get its costs credited towards a session!)

5) Nudity is not mandatory

Do you have to show some skin for a boudoir shoot? Yes, it's not a headshot session. But that doesn’t mean you have to show suggested, partial or full nudity if you don’t want to. If you want to stick to badass outfits, then great! If you feel like trying some sort of nudity, go for it, it’s such a powerful feeling.

IT IS YOUR DECISION TO MAKE, FROM BEGINNING TO END.

But it is not a decision you have to take in advance. To let you in on a little secret, a lot of our clients don’t actually know if they want to try nude photos or not, and that’s absolutely okay. You can totally decide the day of the session and see how you feel.

6) The getting ready part of the shoot is so exciting

Putting your outfits together, thinking about your looks, creating a Pinterest board with poses and anything that catches your eyes, prepping your hair & makeup… All of these are SO much fun to do!

Grabbing last minute outfits and props right before leaving for your session is not a good idea. We suggest to take some time getting ready for your shoot. Dray-dreaming about the all experience is part of the journey and a great way to build up excitement!

7) Last but certainly not least: a studio should not force you to share your images online

If you are paying for a custom shoot and there is a clause in your contract stating that the studio will own the rights to your images (basically they can use your images wherever you want), don’t sign it if you want to keep your pictures private.

We believe privacy should be respected and we understand that not everyone are ok to share their pictures online. This is why we have release options available, so you can pick the option that works the best for you.

OF COURSE WE LOVE SHARING OUR WORK, THAT’S HOW OUR COMPANY GROWS, BUT TECHNICALLY, IT’S NOT YOUR PROBLEM. IT IS YOUR RIGHT TO KEEP YOUR IMAGES PRIVATE IF YOU WANT TO.

You are also allowed to change your mind. If you do so, have it in writing somewhere, for both parties, so there won’t be any risk of miscommunications.

WE HOPE THIS WAS A HELPFUL MINI-GUIDE OF BEFORE BOKING A BOUDOIR SHOOT! BEING AWARE OF ALL OF THE ABOVE WILL DEFINITELY GIVE YOU THE CHANCE TO MAKE THE MOST OUT OF YOUR BOUDOIR EXPERIENCE.

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What to do when your body-image is down the drain.

We all have some days when we catch our reflection in the mirror and poof, a dark thought such as “ugh, I look terrible” just pops up. It makes us feel crappy, it can last for a few days, it can seem to appear out of nowhere and can be caused by thousands of factors who have nothing to do with any changes with your body.

We have discussed many times how you can deal with your body insecurities as well as why you deserve to love your body again, and today, we will targeting the off days when your body-image takes a turn on the negative side without any particular reasons.

What can you actually do when your body-image is not just doing it for you?

1) Wear a badass outfit and get dolled up.

You may be tempted to hide under sweatpants and greasy hair, but this is not the time for this. Bring some pampering back in the picture with a face or hair mask, a haircut, or even a massage and beat the negativity to the punch by wearing an outfit that you KNOW you look and feel great in.

If you avoid said outfits, you will only be feeding the beast and invite your temporary poor body-image to stick around longer.

We are not gonna let this win now, are we?!

2) Don't scrutinize your reflection in the mirror

When sh*t hits the fan and we feel like everything is wrong with our appearance, many of us (us included) have the tendency to just stare at it. Why? To make this uncomfortable feeling last longer? To make it grow? To teach ourselves some sort of lesson? You are a smart person, you don’t need to live pain twice to understand something, especially when you know this particular feeling can just be caused by something as simple as a hormonal fluctuation.

In those moments, it is much better to just acknowledge your reflection and tell yourself will come back to it once the crappy feeling fades.

And it will fade. On that note…

3) Remind yourself this feeling in temporary

Emotions and feelings come and go, sometimes with nothing else but time. You could wake up tomorrow and feel totally fine, so don’t sweat it, don't try to “fix” anything because there is nothing wrong with you to begin with. Ride the wave as peacefully as you can.

4) Distract yourself

This is also a great way to ride said wave. We are not talking about burrying yourself in work here, but more about bringing some fun back. Surround yourself with people you love, sign up for something that will bring a smile on your face, go get an awesome book to dive into, anything that can just bring a bit of butterflies in your tummy.

This will help you to keep things in proportion and bring back positivity from other sources.

Positivity spreads on everything, you will see very quickly that it will also fight this crappy body-image too, even if it is not directly related to it.

5) Avoid social media accounts that you know will make you compare yourself.

Your current body-image is not accurate at the moment. And constantly seeing people and bodies that you wish you could have is only going to make you compare yourself on the negative side. Once again, don't feed the beast!

6) BONUS: Film yourself for after the wave.

Have you ever looked at past photos of yourself and thought “wow, I thought I was so much fatter, skinnier, worse looking that I actually was, this is crazy!”.

A couple of weeks ago, I was down the rabbit hole of shitty body-image. I had a beach trip coming up and wearing my bathing suit made me very anxious, despite the fact that I had proudly bought it a couple of years before because it made me feel amazing afterhating bathing suits with my entire being for so long.

I had put on a bit of weight in the past year, and didn't feel good enough to wear it this time.

It made me so sad, as if I was undoing all the hard work I had done.

Said video for you my friends

But instead of giving in to this negativity, I tried my best to stay objective and I applied all of the advice above. After all, even if I did put on weight, I am not unhealthy, and secondly: I am sure I am making it much worse in my head that it actually is, like I have many times in the past. So I wore the damn bathing suit and I decided to film myself.

Can you guess what happened?

I look at this video now, and yes, I was seeing my body a lot worse than it actually was.

Point proven. This is going to be a new habit for me for next time, until my brain registers that yes, my body-image can be extremely inaccurate and so can yours.

You are now ready to face your next wave of negative body-image with flying colours. Remember to give yourself a break, patience and extra loving during those times. Even if we don’t like them very much, they are perfectly normal and useful to show what points that you can work on.

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The power of femininity

We live in a masculine world, where femininity is often seen as a weakness. We focus on goals, the future, security, and protection, when we should also live more in the moment (which is one of the feminine traits).

But femininity is powerful, when you dig into it you become more aware of your emotions, your body, and the world around you. It also makes it easier to connect with others and create more meaningful relationships.

Femininity VS Masculinity

First, let see the basics to understand the differences between masculine traits and feminine ones:

• Masculinity is more about drive, focus, assertiveness, and confidence.

• Femininity is more about empathy, connection, caring, and nurturing others. It is also being in touch with our emotions, which in society eyes makes feminine people “too sensitive” (which is in common beliefs a sign of weakness 😡).

Traditional Gender Stereotypes

It is getting a tad better now, but we still live in a society where our gender at birth determines which of those two traits we should have: if you are born as a female you should be feminine, and if you are born as a male you should be masculine, period.

This, combine with the description of those traits above, created stereotypes such as boys should always be strong, brave, and should show no signs of weakness. While girls should always take care of others first, and are expected to be fragile creatures who need protection.

But masculinity and femininity have nothing to do with genders as we ALL have both within us. It is a question of balance, like the yin and yang, salt and pepper, wine and cheese… The two go hand in hand!

Even though there is usually a dominant one, embracing both femininity and masculinity is absolutely possible. THERE ARE NO RULES! You can even switch which one is on top depending of a situation, your mood, people you are with…

Nasty Clichés Around Femininity

If you have been following us for a while, you know that we love to destroy common false beliefs. So today we want to demystify some clichés around femininity. Why? Because clichés stop people from personal growth. Following false common beliefs is the best way to stay stagnant in life, but since you are reading this, it is probably because you want to thrive instead right? 💪

Here are some of those nasty clichés (we had to make a Tiktok out of it!):

If you cannot watch it, here are the most common ones:

• You have to be girly to be feminine. FALSE!

  Femininity is an attitude, not a look.

• Being feminine = being weak. FALSE!

  You can be feminine and move freaking mountains.

• You cannot be feminine and masculine. FALSE!

  We all have a masculine and feminine side, we are just not used to show both.

• If you are feminine, you won't be taken seriously. FALSE!

  Being feminine doesn't undermine your skills.

Femininity is a way of being, you decide how to implement it in your life. And it is the same for masculinity.

To conclude: as usual you do you! Doesn't matter your gender, if you feel like being masculine on Mondays and feminine on Thursdays, then do it. Times are evolving, and we finally have the experience and knowledge to change those beliefs. We might as well start now!

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One step closer to body acceptance

Raise your hand if you see your body as a blob.

Raise your hand if you are having a hard time to find more than 3 nice things to say about your body.

Raise your hand if looking at yourself in the mirror is hard…

Now step up if you want to change that!

Well my friend if you are reading this, it means you already made the most difficult part of your body-acceptance journey: being ready to finally love yourself fully. Give yourself a nice pat on the back!

Let's start with the basics

It is primordial for your well-being to learn to accept yourself fully, which means not only in a mindset way, but your body as well. We know it is tough to do, but trust us when we say it is needed.

First you need to understand that your body is a vessel that protects all of your organs, muscles, nerves… Without it, we would not Be. Be grateful for that, and for all the amazing other things it does for you: such as keeping you strong, making you able to experience life…

When you are able to see your body as an ally instead of your enemy, you are able to give it more love. And that is the second step.

Befriend your body

We have heard so many people talking sh*t about their body:

“I disgust myself."

“I am ugly.”

“I wish I could be thinner, curvier, have more boobs, less belly,…”

The list goes on. And it breaks our hearts every time we hear those sentences. Would you tell all those awful things to the people you love? Of course not, so why do you say it to yourself!

Break the clichés

Accepting your body the way it is does not mean loving your body 24/7. Nobody can. Do you know why? Because the way we see our body is mental. So if you are having a bad day, or you are in a bad mood, this will impact the vision you have of your body, at that moment. It comes in waves.

It is actually even harder as females, because we work in cycle, meaning our hormones affects our mental a lot. We can a be roller coasters of emotions.

via GIPHY

Even the most confident person in the world will have moment when they don't have a good body image, and that's ok. So give yourself a damn break!

You deserve to see how beautiful you are

And unleashed that sexy beast within you. We know you want it ;)

Accepting our body for what it is is difficult because we have been conditioned to believe that beauty standards imposed by the media are the norms to follow. It is not!

It is time to ditch the numbers, and other ridiculous standards.

Your weight, the size of your breast, your cellulite, your abs, all of those don't define if you are beautiful or not. Beauty is so much deeper than our physical appearance and it starts with the way we see ourselves.

Body acceptance is understanding that you don’t need to change anything in order to be beautiful. It is about finding beauty even in the parts of your body you like the less.

We've been down that road and we know it is not an easy journey. That is why we decided to create an online workshop to help you get there faster.

Join us on August 7th and 8th for our online workshop and be ready to finally embrace your body, reclaim your femininity, and tap into your sensuality. Grab your Early Bird ticket and get an extra 20% off with the code "SCANDALEUSE20” ⬇️

You NEED a good body-image.

You NEED to be able to see your body in a positive light.⁣

Even better: you owe it to yourself. Our bodies are carrying us every single day, and yet, many of us reward it by talking to it negatively. The impact of a poor body-image is much stronger that what you'd think. It spreads on your mind and before you know it, you are limiting yourself on all levels in your life.

And it is time to change this, once and for all. ✊⁣

Improving your body image will lead you to become more confident, ready to enjoy your life, your way.

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Editing VS showing reality

Wandering on the internet, we came accross a fellow boudoir photographer asking for feedback regarding to one of her client’s session. Then, we saw something in the comment section that left a bit surprised:

We've written about our editing process about how, while we can remove anything that’s temporary (like pimples), we have personally chosen not to change bodies, edit scars, birthmarks, and other little things that make you, you. But that's just us.

In fact, many women actually don't post anything online before (heavily) editing it.

Hold on while we get our nice and shiny red flag.

Holding on to an edited picture of yourself may feel good in the short-term, but you're not doing yourself a favor on the long-run.

Here is why:

1) Hiding the real you is not gonna help you appreciate who you are.

The more filters and editing you use, the more you get accustomed to seeing yourself with them. Except we don’t have them in real life.

They’re not on your mirror, they’re not here when you are having a rough day. People don't see you with them. After getting used to apply filters everywhere, you feel like you created a physically “better” version of yourself and this ends up clouding your vision.

a simple reflection in the mirror could absolutely shatter your self-esteem since your notion of reality around your appearance is not accurate anymore.

On top of that, chances are you’re gonna have a rough time, as you get older, to get used to the changes your body and face will have. Those are inevitable and with the habit of editing everything, you could fall into a rabbit hole of self-loathing.

2) You may use the “edited you” as a standard to compare yourself.

It is very common to refer to old photos of ourselves and compare them with what we look like now. Sometimes, it's already not a very nice thought process, if you think you were “better” then.

With time, the memories blend in together. If you apply some edits, even smooth, on every pictures of yourself, you may forget to what extend you did and look back at those wondering why you “don’t look as good as you did then'‘. Except you'd be referring to something that isn't real to begin with.

3) By heavily editing your images, you are adding to the problem you are a victim of.

It is not news that the media has been spreading images edited beyond anything real. But it is not only media anymore, since it has become so easy to do it ourselves.

If you are a fellow user of those intense editing apps, you are contributing to the myth that bodies and faces have to be perfect.

There begins the vicious cycle:

Let’s be honest, you are editing yourself to look like other edited women who look perfect despite not being real. Other women in your circles might compare themselves to you and tweak their images to look as “perfect” as you do. And it keeps going. So not only aren’t you doing yourself a favor, but you are not doing other's a favor either.

So, how to get out of this editing hell?

1) Protect yourself from perfect-looking content.

Unfollow the accounts that shows exclusiely perfect bodies, skins and so on. None of these are real. Skin has pores, rolls, cellulite, hair, blemishes, wrinkles… That's the reality and it is A-OKAY! Replace them with positive accounts, showing the real deal (like ours ehehe). You will then train your eyes again to see the beauty in reality, which will spread on your beautiful self.

The more you remove those fake images around you, the more you will bring your notion of reality back to a healthy level.

2) Show the real you.

It may sound harsh, but the only way to break this cycle is to show the real you. Ditch the filters. Remove the editing.

You have the power to help yourself and other women by simply showing reality.

Of course, you don't have to show yourself straight out of bed, first day of your period, with something on your teeth! Just keep it simple.

There is nothing to be ashamed about your real face and body. There is nothing wrong with you.

By showing the real deal, you are saying “stop” to this unnecessary pressure around appearance. You are giving yourself the chance to exist in your own way. And that leads to more room to focus on who you are and who you want to become. Be a part of this positive movement, for yourself, but also for others! We can't really do it without you.

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Boudoir photography is for everyone, period!

Inequalities are everywhere, even in the boudoir world.

We grew up in France seeing boudoir done in a classic and non-inclusive way: perfectly photoshoped young women, laying down on an hotel room’s bed, in black and white. We never saw curvy women, or even transgender people on those pictures. And for men, the only time we saw male boudoir photography it was done in an ¨humoristic way¨ (men posing very femininely, to make fun of women posing for boudoir -.how nice is that 😬).

Even now, only a few photographers dare to stand out and create a different boudoir experience.

All of those caricatures makes boudoir intimidating, and limited for people who don’t relate to traditional boudoir photography.

You have to be the changes you wanna see in the world

Changes don’t magically happen over night. We have to fight for things we care about in order for them to change.

So opening Scandaleuse was, and still is, our way to change mentalities around this amazing art that is boudoir photography: make it accessible to all genders, body shapes, ethnicities, and ages, and create a safe community where everyone feel welcome.

Be loud about the changes you are making

We don’t understand how in 2021 we are still struggling with those inequalities. For us, it just makes sense that every services should be inclusive, this is part of our beliefs. We never understood why some business owners select their clients based on their gender, sexual orientation, or even skin color (and in a more general way, why we are still dealing with racism, sexism, homophobia,… - but that is another discussion).

Back to topic! To give you an example, one of our client told us she was afraid to be rejected by photography studios because she is trans - this really blows our mind but not in a good way!

There is a funny thing that often happens when you try to make positive changes. Most of the time, you think you are doing enough until you realize you could do even better.

Why are we telling you this? Well, we recently noticed that we haven’t really wrote it in our website’s copy that we are inclusive. People who personally know us, or are following us on social media know about that fact. But for those who go directly to our website, they have to do a bit of digging to read about it.

Being inclusive is not just about accepting everyone, it is also about making this information clear and easily accessible so people feel comfortable reaching out.

via GIPHY

Like this gif above, your boudoir shoot is your freaking show, so you should feel 100% yourself doing it. And it starts by feeling accepted by the photographer!

Even in life in general, your gender should not be an excuse others use to reject you. Your body type should not stop you from experiencing all the things you wanna. Your skin color should not close doors on beautiful opportunities life gives you.

To recap:

• don’t be passive, fight for things you care about;

• be loud about it, don’t be afraid to share your message;

• and make sure you are doing your best, there is always room for improvement.

We are always open to suggestion, so don’t hesitate to let us know how we can, in your opinion, improve Scandaleuse.

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Change takes time with Jessica X She Does The City

This article is part of our collaboration with She Does The City & Womanizer, in which we help them feature fierce AF womxn in boudoir photo shoots.

Jessica’s journey to self-acceptance, and the importance of being gentle along the way

Like all of us, Jessica is trying to manage the numerous challenges of pandemic life as we slog through month eight, but she’s also navigating her transition. Between work and school, she is juggling a lot, so carving out time to do puzzles and cook brings her comfort and makes her happy. “Fall happens to be the best time to make lovely soups!” she tells us. “One of my favourites is made in the crock pot with sweet potato and lentils!”   

We were delighted to connect with Jessica, and admire her candidness.

How would you describe your sexuality?

Generally speaking, I identify as bisexual or pansexual, sometimes simply using the label queer. For a long while I assumed that I must have preferred one gender or the other, though over time and through my process of accepting myself I came to understand that I could be attracted to anyone, and that I couldn’t define or control who I was attracted to. Ask me if I have a type and I just have to throw up my hands!

When it comes to feeling good in your own skin, what advice would you give to your younger self?

The first thing I’d say to my younger self is to accept what you’re feeling and not try to turn away from it. From there, I’d say it’s important to be kind and to understand that change takes time; it won’t happen if you don’t take steps to make it happen. I first came out when I was much younger, and the fact that I didn’t transition then brought a lot of regret. Learning not to hold on to that regret was one of the most important lessons I’ve learned on my journey so far. Above all, self-love is the most important kind of love. Once you learn to love yourself, you can spread that love to others.

What turns you on?

Trust! They say the largest sex organ is the brain, and in that regard, when I’m with someone who I can let go with I can make sure to “get out of my own way,” so to speak, and allow myself to really get into the moment. 

What always puts a smile on your face?

One of my favourite things in the world is waking up and saying hello to my girlfriend. Being able to start the day off with someone who means so much to me is a gift. Knowing I have her endless support is something I can always think of when I’m under stress. I also have yet to be able to resist smiling when hearing little kittens meow!

What has become an important part of your self care routine during COVID?

Taking time to reflect upon the things I’m thankful for and appreciating the moment is incredibly important. I like to practice mindfulness while I’m out on a walk and allow myself to focus on the sensations of the moment – the feel of the breeze, the changing colours of the leaves. Time in nature is important. It’s good to remember that we’re all part of something greater than us. Whatever problems we may be facing are transient – so we should be grateful for the time we have.

What lesson or idea is currently helping you on your path?

Often, we’re faced with difficulties in our lives, and regardless of what form the difficulties you’re facing are, the one thing constant is the mindset you bring towards problems. Knowing that, it’s important to be gentle and kind to yourself if you can’t meet the challenges of the moment; not all difficulties are puzzles you can solve. Sometimes you simply have to allow yourself to accept the emotions as they come and work through them honestly, without resisting. On the other side, be willing to be thankful for the special moments as they come, as they, along with the special relationships we build with our friends, families and lovers, are the things which are truly valuable in our lives.

What small things help you get through winter? Or what are you planning this year to help you?

There’s nothing quite as wonderful as coming in from the cold and enjoying a hot cup of tea! My favourite flavours are generally something spicy or floral, depending on how I feel.

What was it like to get photographed by Juliette & Fanny? How did it make you feel?

It felt amazing! There were a lot of thoughts in my mind as the shoot with Juliette and Fanny was going on, but as they asked me to go through the poses and such there were moments where I felt incredibly empowered and sensual in a way that I don’t often get to feel. When I look at the pictures from the shoot I see a woman who looks comfortable and confident in herself, and I can’t overstate how much of a victory that is for me given the path I’ve had to take to get here.

Anything else you’d like to share?

I’d like to say I’m grateful to all the women who’ve been there to help me along as I navigate my transition. The support and kindness I’ve been met with from other women has been incredibly empowering. I’ve found that my friendships have deepened in a way that they weren’t able to in the past.

Lastly, I want to say to anyone who might read my story and recognize in themselves that they may be holding something back – please, if you take nothing else from what I’ve written, you owe it to yourself to explore your feelings. They’re there for a reason, and part of you understands that you need to confront them in an honest way. Accept what you’re feeling and don’t place judgement on yourself too harshly – the world has a way of rewarding those who face its challenges with grace.

Thank you so much Jess for sharing your story and wisdom!

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Reasons to do a boudoir shoot - 2021 edition

Let's cut to the chase: a boudoir photoshoot makes you feel amazing and that should be a good reason to sign yourself up for one. But, if you've been wanting to try it, especially with such a challenging year we have been having, but feel like you need an actual reason, then this is the post for you!

So here goes: why should you do boudoir shoot?

Because it has been a long, tough year.

This one is pretty obvious: we have all faced big and unexpected challenges in the past year. Dealing with a pandemic, fear of the unknown, sickness, having to stay home during never ending government announcements: it has been BRU-TAL and we can all use a little bit a ✨ pizzazz ✨

This is the perfect occasion to try something out of the ordinary, especially after being stuck in a routine for over a year!

Because you feel the need to reconnect with yourself.

(and get out of the sweat pants that have taken over your wardrobe)

(c) Scandaleuse Photography

We don't know about you, but this past year has taken a toll on us. While we did grow and learned a lot, we have also had tons of existential crisis, doubts and body-image issues.

A boudoir shoot is the perfect opportunity to reconnect with who you are, in a beautiful and powerful way. It is a vulnerable experience that always, always, always leads to a new level of empowerment.

After all, once you've managed to strip down in front of a camera and felt amazing doing so, you can do anything.

Because you found yourself and that's worth celebrating.

On the opposite, maybe you did find yourself this past year, because you had the time to really ask yourself what mattered to you, and you took action. You have welcomed You 2.0 and she/he/they is not going anywhere. 👏🏻

This feeling is one of the best reasons to do a boudoir shoot now.

You have discovered a new confidence and using boudoir to capture it will make it last and give you the best keepsake, as you can look back at it anytime when you feel the need to.

Because you are looking for a challenge to grow.

(c) Scandaleuse Photography

This is for you, beautiful overachiever, always looking for challenges! We know you haven’t had a chance to get much of this lately and you must be craving it. How about trying something new that not a lot people can wrap their head around?

You get to feel great about yourself AND get this thrill of excitement and pride, with a rebellious touch (it's the best kind, let's be honest).

Because you will get busy soon enough and won't have time for it.

While it may not feel like it at the moment, we will get back outside and go on with our lives sooner rather than later. Before you know it, your schedule will get busier and busier and you just won't have time to set aside this beautiful time to yourself.

If you've been wanting to try boudoir, take advantage of this situation to get it done. Yes, we are open by the way. 😉

So, what’s it gonna be, Scandal?

At the end of the day, the minute you feel this little “ping” in your heart, your gut, your head, telling you that, “hey, a boudoir shoot would be great for you”, that is more than enough of a reason to do it. And our door is right open for you, with a red carpet.

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