The Day I Said "F*** IT"

Not too long ago, I found an old diary of 13-year-old Juliette. Diary in which I wrote a table with my physical qualities and flaws. My flaws list was off the charts, ridiculously detailed and my quality one had one random item that I put just to write a little something there.

I used to dodge my reflection in the mirror. Maybe it sounds odd to you, after all, you have seen us pretty much half naked on our ads shamelessly and we say loud and clear how you should love and be proud of yourself.

But yeah, I used to dodge mirrors on a daily basis and I don't anymore. And you shouldn't either.

Never good enough: The teenaged years b*llshit

I feel like everyone's insecurities started when they were teenagers or younger. Probably because kids can be total jerks with each other. I had never noticed that I had a bit of a belly, or that my chest was absolutely flat until some girls told me. Then, it just echoed and became a part of me.

So, of course, teenaged Juliette started random diets while feeling like crap. Did I lose weight? Yes I did. But I developed body-dysmorphia very sneakily, mostly by seeing myself much bigger than I actually was for years. At now 30-something, I still deal with those kind of episodes here and there and I do believe it will always be a part of me.

I wrote another blog post about this specific topic over here, if you'd like to save this one for later.

Pretty much when I started being called "Fat".

When I was finally out for high school and went to Paris to study Photography (when I met Fanny!), it hit me: why am I making myself feel like that over some stupid comments from people I didn't even care about from years ago?

So I just decided to say "F*** It" and I gave myself a chance.

I gave myself a chance to first be okay with how I looked. Bit by bit. You can't just wake up one day and feel gorgeous after feeling the opposite for so long.

One of the first changes I implemented was to stop comparing myself to others and thinking they were a little evil because they looked so good. Instead, I started looking for people I could relate to, and people who inspired me for fashion, makeup, attitude, you name it. I experimented different looks until I felt comfortable, and until I simply felt like myself. I was careful by removing people that felt way too far out of reach as I knew how easy it could be to fall back into the comparison trap over fictional lives.

My next move was to stop giving that much importance to the negative comments from a minority of people and to open my ears to all of the positive ones that I was getting from people who matter. It is incredibly easy to ignore those. We often say it takes 5 good comments to remove a bad one, but it doesn't have to be that way.

I also stopped hiding my “flaws” to the best of my ability with very simple things. One example I can think of is the fact that I don't wear bras anymore. Me and my tiny boobies used to wear those (very uncomfortable) push-up bras and it just made it worse in my journey of liking myself. When I stopped wearing bras at home, I actually got used to just seeing my breasts the way they are, so much so that they actually became pretty to me over time. I enjoy the freedom of it so much now, those nasty bras retired years ago.

Last but definitely not least as it shaped my entire career: I challenged myself to take self-portraits. My face, my body. I created my little world just for myself at the beginning at first. Then it made me so proud that I felt confident enough to show them to others too. And even better, I started doing it for other people.

Working as a boudoir photographer has helped me tremendously as we use ourselves for marketing purpose for Scandaleuse and are showing pretty much everything. Being a hypocrite wasn't an option for me: I couldn't offer a service I wasn't comfortable with myself. That fear was stronger than my original insecurities, which made it easier to fight.

Meanwhile, Fanny was doing it too. That's probably why, when we sat down a few years ago to talk about what we could build together, we naturally went towards boudoir. To show you how good you look when you feel vulnerable. To show you how beautiful we see you. Yes you.

And now?

I am not here to tell you that my insecurities vanished. Like mentioned earlier, some will always be part of me and that's okay. I have learnt however to manage them by figuring out what my triggers are. For example, a simple change of routine can set me up for a week of body-dysmorphia. Knowing this fact makes it easier to detach and let it be, because I know it will pass when I just get back to my usual moves.

It's okay not to feel okay today, you'll feel better tomorrow.

If you feel crappy about yourself, I am giving you a virtual hug and I am telling you that everything is going to be okay. Don't let that win. Do not stay in the dark if it gets worse and worse, seeking help is not something to be ashamed of.

And if you are looking to throw your insecurities down the drain where they belong, book a boudoir session already (and get 10% off until oct 31st!)

5 reasons to do a boudoir shoot you wouldn't think of.

Many traditional reasons come to mind when thinking of doing a boudoir session. Offering the photos as a gift for a special someone, celebrating a milestone, challenging yourself in lingerie… All of these are very valid reasons, but today, we wanted to share extra ones you may have never thought of.

1) Getting to see yourself as Art.

Let's be honest, getting images of yourself you are in love with is hard. We are definitely our worst critique, and are not shy to talk down to ourselves. When we do find said photo, it becomes the only one we refer to when needed.

While you should get some photos you like during a professional photoshoot, we think a boudoir photography session - when done properly and with the right photographers 😉 - gives you way more than that.

You are dealing with actual artists. People who will see beyond your physical appearance, who won't even notice anything you are insecure about and will create a whole concept, light, set around who you are to, finally, translate it all in actual art pieces. When done right, you will end up with images you will want to stare at forever.

2) The long lasting effect on your confidence

One of the biggest reason to do a boudoir shoot is to increase your confidence. But what people don't know is that this confident boost is not showing only during the photoshoot: it sticks with you for a long time afterwards.

The confidence brought out during a boudoir photoshoot will shine on many other areas of your life. You will stand taller. You will dare to do more things, take more room, make bigger decisions. It replenishes your self-trust, and god knows we can all use a layer of that.

3) Bringing light on sides of yourself that don't get to shine often

Between adapting ourselves to others, fighting our own insecurities, dealing with beauty standards, not daring to wear what we want, our brains are polluted with restrictions we apply to ourselves. During a boudoir shoot, you can just let go of all of these and have fun exploring and bringing out those sides of yourself.

Feeling like wearing a sexy cocktail dress while holding a glass of whisky despite living your every day life in corporate outfits? Go for it. Do you want to wear a victorian tulle robe just for the hell of it? Yes please. What about that badass harness you would never dare wearing in public? Bring it.

A boudoir photoshoot is a judgement free zone. If anything, it is encouraged to be creative and more importantly: be extra.

Give yourself a chance to be sensual, to try different looks and illustrate the different facets of your personality!

4) For fun and quality time with yourself.

Since boudoir can feel vulnerable and intimidating, it is very easy to forget that it is actually fun. For a couple of hours, no one is asking anything from you besides just letting loose, and that's REFRESHING.

5) Help a great cause

Last but definitely not least: you can actually make a difference in a specific cause, by picking a specific photographer.

We have the best example to give you at the moment: for the whole month of October, we are giving 10% off our session fee and donating a portion of the proceeds to the Pink Ribbon Boutique, a store that specializes in prosthetics and lingerie for breast cancer survivors.

If you were looking for one last push before booking a shoot for yourself, know that you can help a breast cancer survivor purchase a prosthetic with your booking.

Follow this link for details or click on the button below!

You are always worthy of respect

Disclaimer: we will be chatting about being true to who you are and standing up for yourself in this post. Needless to say, we are not referring to any behaviours involving harming yourself or other people.

Respect is a must to give, but also to receive!

Why do people lose respect for others to begin with?

Because they don't share the same values or standards. Of course, if we are talking about racism, slut-shaming, sexism and everything else falling into the hatred & discrimation category, this is a different topic. This time, we are referring to choices that YOU make for YOUR own well-being that don't necessarily get "approval" from others. Maybe for certain people, the fact that you practice a certain sport for example can be a reason to lose respect (any pole-dancers out there? Why mess with someone who can bend around a piece of metal to begin with?!) 

But here is the thing: those indicators that people use to judge you are actually not about you per se, they are about them. They are created by their own conditioning, insecurities, past experiences and so on.

So you might as well take a step back and not let it affect you as much because…

Not everyone is going to like you, so you might as well do you!

That can be a tough pill to swallow (yep, for us too): not everyone likes you. Even if you didn't do anything to them. 

Instead of trying to bend over backwards to please everyone, it is much better to surround yourself with people who support you and share the similar values you have. You will be much happier around them, you will build stronger connections, but most importantly, you will feel like yourself.

Embracing who you are is a must for your own happiness. You don't have the energy, room, or time, for people who disrespect you for being you. No one else but YOU is eligible to judge your choices and decisions. 

Don’t let people make you feel like your are worthless!

Your hobbies, education, sexual preferences, or any choices you make related to your appearance, you name it, should NOT affect your credibility.

We often hide or dismiss some aspects of our personalities in order to "fit in". We see it constantly in our industry since we photograph people in a way that can be seen "provocative" by (narrow-minded) traditional minds. Most of our clients are looking to regain confidence and want to feel sexy in their own skin. And some of them want to share their photos with the world as a way to stand up for themselves loud and clear.  Yet, a good 50% don’t dare to do so due to the fear of losing credibility with the people they love and appearing less professional with people from their work if they happen to see the photographs of their shoot.

Don't get us wrong, if you wish to keep your pictures (or any projects) just to yourself because it's part of your own journey, that's totally cool. But if you stop yourself from showing your photographs because you are afraid of what people would say, then you need to realize that you are not the problem. The people judging you are. 

We are strong believers that, if someone is trying to make you feel small and if you just don't give it any attention, try to defend or dismiss it, the "judger" will feel so damn ridiculous that they will end up giving themselves a taste of their own medicine. 

To give you an example, since we use ourselves for our boudoir advertising, we have heard some snarky comments about how "we are just posing naked online". By just saying "yeah, so what? I think I look damn good too!", we remove any possibility for a judgmental response.

You cannot shame someone who is confident in their choices. You cannot affect someone with your judgement if they don’t allowing it. Confidence is truly a super power my friends!

No one can fit in just one box and that is pretty neat! 

Back in the day, even maybe a decade ago, we were supposed to fit nicely in one category and stay in it. Nowadays, people can be so many things at once and it's such a great time to be alive. Thanks to this, we are removing pressure, and changing our standards and expectations.

We are even changing the definition of power by making it about standing up for ourselves and being open about it. We are kicking the stigmas back to oblivion.

Would it shock you if your lawyer had a passion for making macarons? No. What if your dentist was fond of doing trapeze? Would it change their qualifications? No. If anything, it would make them more approachable.

Embrace your unique-self and make your own contribution by being proud of who you are and what you do. It will serve those coming after you.

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The time we stopped dreaming big

Wanting to start your business usually means to have some dreams. Even more so when you are a creative as it is very likely you are linking your passion and your job together. That's what we did 7 years ago when we opened Scandaleuse. We had a plan, our heads were filled with dreams bigger than us. While we have accomplished some, we realized not too long ago that we unconsciously gave up on many in the process.

How the hell did it happen to begin with?

1) The pandemic.

This is definitely the biggest reason of it all. Everybody's world went upside down, and like many other businesses, we saw our work possibilities crumble and our future extremely uncertain.

The pandemic made us enter a survival mode: we couldn't actually work and we didn't know for how long. Once we got slightly out of it, starting to work some bigger dreams was completely out of the question: we had to recover from our losses and we had to do it fast. On top of it all, it's also left us with the reality that nothing is really that stable, and that's the perfect recipe to develop self-doubt.

2) Our ideas weren't doable to way we wanted to initially.

Back in the day, many of our big ideas were a lot more accessible. For example, getting a studio on our own was not that out of reach with the growth we have been having pre-pandemic. Since the inflation entered the chat, this idea started crawling away and instead of reshaping it and adapt it, we labeled it as "impossible” in our brain and we… ignored it. Until some feelings started creeping in…

The consequences on our well-being

It is pretty safe to assume that, if you don't work towards something bigger and more exciting than what you are currently doing, your mental health takes a hit.

Our productivity, our drive, our creativity and even the confidence in our ability went down. We were stagnating in our growth. But the worst was this small feeling of emptiness settling in our minds without us noticing. Then it grew bigger and bigger, leading us through one existential crisis after the other. What are we building and where are we going were the 2 key questions floating around. At some point, we had to face the fact: we just didn't allow ourselves to dream anymore and it needed to change.

How we got out of it: the mindset shift

The first step was to acknowledge and make peace with the reasons stated above. Then, we had to understand that we were thinking about some ideas backwards. The biggest one being that we needed to reach a certain amount of cash flow before executing bigger projects. Of course, you need to, to a certain extent, but the reasons above made us forget that you also need to invest money and take risks to… make money.

We also starting talking to our closest friends and loved ones. While we expected to have to deal with discouraging comments - mostly because we were giving them to ourselves - we were pleasantly surprised to hear than everybody was excited and positive. Even better, they gave us some options we didn't even think of.

Slowly, the fear barometer lowered and the confidence one increased. And the butterflies in our stomach have started to come back.

Now what?

We have decided to work on getting a proper space for Scandaleuse. It is truly outside of our comfort zone, but the feeling of excitement it gives us makes it worth it already. While it probably won’t be easy, we have no doubt that we will have a beautiful space ready to welcome all of you and host many more projects we have had in mind for years.

It is such a nice feeling to let yourself daydream about what you can do and we are strong believers in the fact that it is going to unblock some dormant energies we haven't seen in a while…

Thank you for following us in our entreprenarial journey. We cannot wait to share more with you!

Feel free to join our newsletter to keep yourself in the loop for our next adventures, we have a feeling we will have many to share with you!

Let's talk about consent!

Guest post by Eden Wine - Mindset Consultant

 With the advent of the “Me Too” and “Times Up” era, we must learn the nuances of “Consent” so we can best equip ourselves to effectively navigate our relationships.

It’s time to create a clear definition of what consent means to us, and it’s important to:

• understand our rights when it comes to giving and receiving consent;

• solidify our true introspective understanding of our personal boundaries; and

• learn about and respect how to best support other people’s boundaries. 

HOW MANY OF YOU HAVE ALLOWED YOUR BOUNDARIES TO BE CROSSED FOR THE PURPOSE OF PLEASing OTHERS OR IN THE ATTEMPT OF “FEELING BEAUTIFUL”? WELL I HAVE.

When I was 14, I suddenly became well endowed in the derriere department. Now, given the location of this development, I was completely unaware of its existence. I only came to know about my “ass-et” because of my male peers. When walking down the hallway of my high school, adorned in a school uniform, I was consistently greeted by unsolicited slaps, grabs, and fondles. I wasn’t even able to acknowledge this new part of my body before it was claimed by others and objectified. Since this was one of the first experiences I had in my developing body, I was trained to think that this behaviour was acceptable.

As a young teen, I was quickly learning that it was okay for me to be caressed without consent. This, however, is not true.

We, as humans, have exclusive rights to our own bodies.

It is our fundamental obligation to define boundaries for ourselves and to feel comfortable and assured when voicing such boundaries. We are not owned by anyone and no one is entitled to us or any part of us. In fact, the right we have to our own bodies is grounded in and protected by law.

HOW ARE OUR RIGHTS PROTECTED?

The Constitutions and Criminal Codes of many (if not most) developed countries have specific and designated laws that are geared towards protecting the sanctity of consent. Now, I’m no expert in the laws of the world at large, but I know Canada very carefully preserves the notion of consent into its legislation and case law. For example, section 273.1(1) of the Canadian Criminal Code dictates that sexual activity is ONLY legal when both parties consent and where “voluntary agreement” is obtained. Both parties means BOTH parties. In fact, the “two to tango” phraseology has never been more apropos. Sure, there will be nuances in courting and dating when flirting plays a role though subliminal and subtle body language, but that does not dismiss the importance of ensuring that BOTH parties are consenting and, even more than that, consenting the WHOLE time. 

LET’S THINK ABOUT AND DEFINE OUR BOUNDARIES AND RESPECT OTHER PEOPLE’S BOUNDARIES TOO! #PlatinumRule 

Consent is truly grounding yourself in your beliefs and saying “yes” when an activity  (any activity really) feels right without a shadow of a doubt. This could apply to any sexual encounter or even as something as simple as a hug.

For all people alike, the onus is on us to:

• know and learn our boundaries;

• feel secure and confident in our ability to voice our boundaries; and,

• to inquire and respect other people’s boundaries. In the end, it is each of us who have exclusive rights to our own person and it is our obligation to protect such rights with the entirety of our being.

DISCLAIMER

Eden Wine is presently a non-practicing lawyer. She was called to the Ontario Bar in June 2018 and has since been a member of the Law Society of Ontario.

The content of this article is provided for general information purposes only and does not constitute legal or other professional advice or an opinion of any kind. Readers of this article are advised to seek specific legal advice by contacting independent legal counsel regarding any specific legal issues. Neither the author, nor Scandaleuse Photography warrant or guarantee the quality, accuracy or completeness of any information in this article or on Scandaleuse Photography’s website. The content of this article is current as of the original date of publication, and should not be relied upon as accurate, timely, or fit for any particular purpose.

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Why you should challenge yourself with lingerie photos

Boudoir photography is definitively an art, a beautiful way to use light, framing and background composition to highlight the human body. But it also has a very much underestimated therapeutic purpose. Most of the people who finally dare to book their boudoir shoot are usually looking for more than a regular portrait session.

Seeing your body, for real.

When was the last time you actually looked at yourself naked or even in your underwear? And I mean, reaaaally look at yourself, not a quick glimpse before hopping in the shower? Rare are the people actually doing it, us included.

The human body, especially the woman one, is taboo. Nobody at school teaches us to truly love ourselves the way we are. If anything, we are taught to hide it and, in the worst cases, to be ashamed of it. Only a minority of people know every inch of their body even for the parts that are the most intimate.

On top of that, we focus so much on its physical aspect that we tend to forget our bodies are shells that actually makes us human beings to begin with. And that is something to cherish and treat well.

Being able to see your body from different angles, posed beautifully in a stunning environment, surrounded by a warm light is a rare opportunity you shouldn't pass on. Hell, even from the back, because seriously, we never get to see ourselves from the back!

It is not just about getting pretty photos.

Treating yourself to a boudoir adventure will take you out of your comfort zone, while still being in a safe environment. You can experiment something quite vulnerable in an intimate setting, which gives you the chance to fully let go and reap the benefits for your mind but also your attitude.

There is a visible before and after a boudoir session, mostly due to posture. This may sound frivolous but our posture truly says a lot about how we are feeling and the image we give to the world. For example, people tend to start their session curled up, shoulders down, trying to take the least space possible. By the end of it, they've learn to stand straighter, taller and own the room they're in. Even breathing feels easier. This translates into pure confidence inside and out and it sticks with you.

Because you managed to push yourself through something new, faced some fears and you succeeded, this freshly unlocked confidence spreads on everything around you too.

We are not saying that based on our own beliefs. We are saying it because you shared your stories with us. Many of you made substantial life changes following their boudoir experience: they went for a better job, a new challenge, ended toxic relationships… They move forward on things that used to terrify them.

And then the magic happens…

The hardest part is officially booking. Once it is in motion, your “f*ck it” attitude will take over and the fun stuff officially begins.

You can go shopping for new lingerie or dust off some outfits you love and never had the occasion to wear. You can brainstorm makeup & hair ideas with our makeup artist. You can gather inspiration online and let your imagination run wild to see which versions of yourself you will truly embody.

Then you go with the flow. You will see that the shoot jitters will pass within 10 minutes in your session. Before you know it, you would have rocked so many of your looks and vibes, that you don't even have time to ask yourself if you're good enough and let your insecurities get in the way. And we all know how nice it is when we can shut those nasty inner voices full of self-doubt!

The big finale: your photo results.

Now that you've completed the experience and connected with the badass you are, it's time you get the concrete proof by seeing your photos! It's with a heart racing that you will sit in front of our screen, in front of yourself, (re)discovering this version of you that was here all along but didn't get to shine as much as it should.

Your photos are a keepsake of it all, an anchor when you feel like you lost touch with this version of yourself. The pride you will feel looking at them is indescribable.

Now, the real question is: are you ready to start your boudoir journey?

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Grief, rediscovering yourself and newfound confidence

Back in 2019, we met the fabulous Hallae for one of our boudoir shoot and we had the pleasure to shoot with her 2 more times :)… It is always nice to take pictures of the same Scandal over the years and see their transformation!

A few years ago, she was interviewed by She Does The City to talk about how the loss of her mother shattered her; and how, amidst the grieving process, she’s had to devote time to rediscover herself. Hallae is such a badass human being and today we are super happy to share this interview with you 😁

2019 - Hallae first boudoir shoot with us!

How would you describe your sexuality?

After my mom’s death and the breakup of a long-term relationship shortly afterwards, I didn’t feel sexual at all. But then I saw my body in some Knixwear photos and saw the comments, and that broke down one barrier: my body wasn’t something to be ashamed of.

But there was a second barrier: my sexuality had been put on hold for so long. That was until I allowed myself to take the improv route and say yes to whatever this new particular sexual partner suggested. I trusted him, and I was scared, but I was ready to say yes again.

And now, I may be well over 200 pounds, but I can’t help but feel like the sexiest woman in any room. I feel like I’m nineteen again, when I wasn’t afraid to try anything.

I may be almost thirty, but I’m back at the Stag Shop asking all the questions and buying that full-body fishnet stocking. In short, my sexuality can be described in one word: renewed.  

2021 - second fierce boudoir shoot :)

How did you feel at the beginning of the photo shoot?

To be honest, I had worked myself into quite the state prior to Juliette and Fanny’s arrival. The day before the shoot had actually been the two-year anniversary of my mom’s death, and part of the reason for having this the next day was to have a planned and almost concrete way to celebrate life. Well, you know what they say about the best-laid plans.

However, I can’t express how quickly my anxiety dissipated when Juliette and Fanny entered my apartment. I had pulled a bunch of pieces of clothing I stared at blankly; they quickly identified three outfits. By the time I had changed, they had moved around pillows and chairs and tables, and all of a sudden my little apartment felt worthy of a photo shoot. And soon thereafter, they made me feel worthy of this photo shoot. They directed and displayed poses and had such a contagious energy. I was fully into it only a few clicks into the first outfit.

2022 - Third session. We asked Hallae what sensuality meant to her. This was the result!

What were you thinking about while it was happening? Did you have a particular mantra running through your head?

I didn’t have a particular mantra (besides “shoulders back, tits out”), but I was thinking of power.

I remember sitting on the floor in just a leotard and staring at the camera and having this moment where I felt so much more powerful than I had just a few moments earlier. Sometimes confidence is something that comes naturally, but sometimes we’re thrust into situations that force us to uncork that confidence.

It’s not always possible. But before the shoot I decided I was going to at least try, and I did. That was powerful for me.

What do you want to say to people who are currently lacking confidence, or feeling insecure when it comes to their body/sexuality? 

It would be easy to look at my photos and think, “Wow, she must be so comfortable in her body.” But now you know the truth. I was freaking out up until the moment the photographers walked through the door. Part of me believes that finding confidence in your body is sometimes consciously acting to find it. I’m not saying go out right now and take pictures in your underwear, but that’s one way to do it.

No one can convince you your body is beautiful without a bit of work on your part. (Though I’m still here to tell you: it is.) Have you seen it in a teddy yet? What about covered in sparkles? Drape your body in whatever your kink is. Then stare at it in the mirror, take photos of yourself, wear it on a date, wear it on a solo dinner. When that person comes up to you and tells you your body is beautiful, think about how hot you fucking looked, and agree with them.

Feel it. Own it.

That’s what I’m talking about when I say act consciously. Then fuck the shit out of them, with consent, of course :)

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Breast Massage For Sexual Healing And Getting Your Libido Back

The following is a guest post by Katrin, from katrinwithlove.com and @vaginismus.sisters.

If life has inconveniently initiated you in any sort of sexual liberation journey, then we have a lot in common.

I personally experienced painful sex and the protective body response of vaginismus (rhymes with Christmas) – a bracing and tightening of my pelvic floor muscles that robbed me of pleasure-filled gifts for more than 6 years…

Whether your story was ridden in pain, shame, numbness or anywhere in between, you've probably read plenty about the vulva and vagina in the process of claiming your sexual freedom.

It’s true. The ancient sex wisdom of Taoism confirms the intricate connection between the genitals and optimal functions of other organs and glands in the body. Creating harmony in these sacred areas of your body really is important in relieving tension and support physical and emotional healing.

But what about the breasts?

What purpose do they serve in your complete body system for physical and emotional healing?

What role do they serve in increasing your libido if that's something that has subsided for one reason or another?

Many of us have grown up ashamed of our breasts. They may have been the reason we received unwanted and uncomfortable attention.. Or we may have regarded them as just a necessary part of our female anatomy (but nothing more than that).

I personally grew up having a fairly BLAH relationship with my breasts.

They were there and that's about it - if anything, I had a perception of what beautiful breasts should look like, and mine weren't quite them. So it's safe to say my relationship with my lady bumps was MEH at worst and "ooh they look great in a push up bra" at best!

Starting to pay loving attention to YOUR breasts is a crucial part of getting your libido back and finding success in your sexual liberation journey.

Emotionally and energetically, when you find unconditional love for your heart space and breasts, you can tap into that sense of self-love and inner confidence that may have been energetically laying dormant under your layers of shame and indifference.

Even still, a vulva owner's sexual turn on STARTS in the heart centre represented by the breasts, gets strengthened by the cooperation of the mind and only then is felt physically in the genitals.

So it becomes important to bring your heart-centred turn-on online!

How do you involve your beautiful breasts in a holistic approach to healing?

Physically, that looks like stimulating them gently through breast massage to enhance the health of your heart, blood, lymphatic and hormonal systems.

Awakening the life force of the body as a whole to create sexual aliveness and sex drive.

The Tao of Sexology - The Book of Infinite Wisdom by Dr. Stephen T. Chang confirms that:

"From foreplay to pregnancy to nursing, the breasts are closely tied to the genital system, through nervous impulses, hormones, etc.”

"The delicate intertwining of numerous capillaries, nerves, lactation glands, lymphatic vessels, and other delicate structures of the breast are easily damaged by improper handling.”

Any damage to breast tissue can lead to accumulations and blockages.

These can then lead to lumps or, possibly, cancer. (The breast is so delicate that caffeine can cause lumps and cysts to form inside the breast, as was shown in recent studies.) If this should ever happen, the entire female reproductive system would be torn out of balance.

Therefore, the sensitive and easily over-stimulated breasts must never be mishandled by the woman or her sexual partner. A woman's partner should never bite, suck, or pinch the breast. Contact should be limited to a very gentle caress or kiss.

Even though more intense handling of the breasts can be very pleasurable for certain people, Taoism states that, for optimal full body functionality, and especially reversing the damage that may have already been created in the breasts, a gentle approach is required...

Here is a simple and gentle breast massage ritual that you can engage in to create a loving relationship with your breasts...

…And to enjoy all the physical benefits that come with it!

1. Ensure your space is free of distractions and feels safe so you can fully surrender and relax.

2. Make your room nice and cozy in whichever way feels right to you and lie down comfortably with your shirt off.

3. Warm up your hands by rubbing them together to promote blood flow and circulation. Have some massage oil nearby if you'd like, but don't use it just yet.

4. Place your hands on your chest, fall into a comfortable rhythm breathing into your belly. With a loving intention, connect to your heart as your listen to your heartbeat.

5. With your fingertips or nails, slowly and delicately start moving up and down your breasts, avoiding the nipples. This stimulates sensation on and beneath the skin, essentially waking them up.

6. Now put some massage oil on your hands if you'd like.

7. Press down on your armpit and release 5 times. This helps open and generate healthy flow in the lymphatic system.

8. As you keep breathing and with one hand per breast, continue more thoroughly massaging the perimeter of the breasts. Then move to the full breasts and only then the nipples. Make sure you are applying some more pressure now so you are stimulating the deeper breast tissue along with the skin.

9. Using one or both hands, move back and forth between breasts, creating movement across the mid-meridians of your body. This helps balance both hemispheres of your brain and create union between your masculine and feminine energies.

10. As you are lightly and intuitively continue touching your breasts, remind them that they are worthy of receiving love and pleasure.

11. After about 15 minutes or when you feel complete, come into a relaxed position and be present with whatever feelings arise from doing this exercise. You did it!

What did you notice? Did any feelings of shame, discomfort, or even suppressed memories come up?

If so, that's totally normal. They may have been part of your life for many years. With each breast massage practice, you'll become closer to fully allowing yourself to release the discomfort and make space for unconditional love and acceptance. You may even realize...

May the love for your body in its entirety bring you peace and a conscious awareness that ALL of YOU is beautiful!

Helpful tools

You can perform your breast massage ritual with your hands, or you can also incorporate the use of tools like soft fabrics, feather toys or tools using the healing characteristics of some of Mother Earth’s natural elements – crystals.

If the crystal option piqued your interest, it’s encouraged that you pick a crystal intuitively simply by feeling which one you’re naturally drawn to most. Where each type of crystal has a unique energetic property and vibration and therefore a unique subtle impact on your own energy body.

The crystal I felt called to use in my breast massage practice was fire quartz.

I later learned that fire quartz calms anxieties and brings clarity. Like with rose quartz, its nature is that it subtly inspires self-acceptance feelings of greater calm and comfort.

In the journey of reconnecting to your authentic eroticism, this can be incredibly helpful in reconnecting to a state of mental peace with yourself and your body.

When I used the crystal in my breast massage practice, I really enjoyed its firmness and the smooth, rounded shape. It felt like an added luxury to the kind of touch I could create on my body.

And still, there is something special about using your own hands in varied forms of touch, as well as feeling that skin-to-skin contact and connection. To me, a combination of hands and tools provides that variety that I’ve learned I crave in life (in all sorts of ways).

In any case, the invitation is to introduce a breast massage practice into your self-care and self-pleasure practices in any ways that feels right to you!

Look for any subtle nudge that helps you feel the pleasure of sinking into a slow-paced and gentle experience, which of course can always naturally turn into a passionate and intense one..

Of course, the intention is that you feel that deep appreciation for a part of your body that you may have been disregarding for years.

Here’s to the love your breasts deserve!

- Katrin, with Love

---

The parts of you who desire a life based in liberation, love and leadership can find a home in Katrin’s world..

As a sexual liberation mentor who has overcome painful sex and continues to support women in releasing the protective body response of vaginismus, Katrin has a deep understanding of how survival strategies of the mind and subtle protective mechanisms of the body can sneakily keep you from feeling like the incredible woman you are!

Katrin believes that your power is born out of your deepest pain and that the Liberated & In Love Woman within you already has all the answers to guide you in your personal reclamation in the realms of sex, love, relationships and entrepreneurship.. She is here to love you as you re-discover your unique signature of play, pleasure and purpose. She gently calls you into your zone of genius and lifts you up as you bravely build your legacy from that place of aliveness and erotic overflow.

You can find her life’s work on her website katrinwithlove.com and on Instagram @katrin.with.love and @vaginismus.sisters

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Personal story - the search for the perfect birth control method

Disclaimer: In this post I am talking about my own experience and feedback about birth control methods. I am not a doctor and this should not be considered as legal advice. You should seek appropriate counsel for your own situation.

Today we are back with a blog on a more personal topic: birth control methods. If you have been following us for a while, you know that we love to talk about our life’s experiences on topics people don’t necessarily talk about. We believe that talking about those things are a great way to remove the unnecessary pressure and clichés that surround them.

It ain't a walk in a park!

Fanny writing today by the way! In 2018, I was sharing with you why I decided to stop taking the birth control pill and switch to a non-hormonal copper IUD (the Intrauterine Device is a small piece of flexible plastic shaped like a T that's put into your uterus to prevent pregnancy. It’s long-term, reversible, and one of the most effective birth control methods out there). Both Juliette and I tried it but we had different experiences. You can read Juliette’s opinion on the IUD here!

Even if I think it is much better than the pill, I unfortunately had to remove mine last year. In my opinion, the IUD is an amazing birth control method and I wish more people were using it. It can last from 3 to 10 years depending of the brand, it is more affordable than pill, and once it is inserted you have nothing to do beside checking every year it didn’t move. But it is not for everyone!

Let’s start by the beginning: the insertion. I have a good pain tolerance but the insertion was painful! My family doctor was the one to insert it and instead of opening the T part at once, she did in 3 or 4 times which made it extremely painful for me. I spent the rest of the day feeling unwell which is very common: strong cramps, headaches, and I also felt nauseous for a few hours.

The first year was ok-ish beside the fact I got a strong acne and had my real period (when you take the pill, your periods are “regulated”. You lose less blood, they are usually shorter, and less painful). But the longer I kept the IUD the more intense the cramping were, to a point that I almost passed out several times. It was also weird for me to have this foreign object in my body and I always had the impression I could feel it. Move forward 2022, I took the decision to remove it even though I had one year left. I could tell it wasn’t the right birth control method for me and since I wasn’t dating anyone it was the perfect moment to stop the process.

Now what?

I have been birth control free for a year now and I really enjoy it. But I am ready to date again and since I do not want to have any kids, I have to find a new one on top of using condoms. Unfortunately, my options are getting limited: I do not want to take any hormones, and I don’t wanna go back with an IUD. If you are wondering what other choices I have, here are the two options I am thinking of:

• Fertility awareness such as tracking my ovulation period using tools like my basal body temperature, or cervical mucus. I feel very excited to try this out but it also stresses me a lot. I love the idea of going natural and learning more about my body, but if it is not done properly then the chance of getting pregnant increases 😟

• Tubal removal procedure. This is an irreversible birth control method in which both of the fallopian tubes are being completely removed. This would be perfect for me since you cannot get pregnant with this surgery. The only thing that makes me think twice about it is that, depending of the person, it can make the period more painful than they usually are.

I already started to get information about this procedure. I talk to my family doctor first but she wasn’t very supportive and told me it is not something that is usually done in Canada. But I insisted so she sent me to see a gynaecologist and to my surprise she didn’t give me a hard time nor try to make me give up on the idea. I have read online that many doctors are against this surgery (unless you already had plenty of kids), because it is permanent and they have a hard believing people who say they don’t want children. I was ready to fight for my rights and the control over my own body but didn’t have to. She of course had to make sure I understood it is irreversible, but since I am very set in stones with that decision, and told her I was having a hard time finding the perfect birth control method, she put me on a waiting list to get that procedure done. Which gives me the time to do more researches!

Also the fact that my family doctor lied to me a little with her statement saying it is not common for people to do that here in Canada made me a tad angry. I can see why a lot of people are having a hard time finding doctors who respect their medical decision.

I have learned a lot about the tubal removal procedure and will probably write another blog to talk more about it.

We hope you enjoy this type of content! Even if those of blogs are not directly related to our work as boudoir photographers, it is an important part of who Juliette and I are, and the values we share. We make it a priority to be authentic, and we truly believe that if people were to talk more often about their everyday struggles and experiences, there will be less taboos around important topics and the world would be a better place!

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How to prep for your boudoir shoot

Congrats, you did it! You gathered the courage to book your boudoir shoot and now, the official preparation can officially begin! While it can be a little nerve-wracking, prepping for your shoot is very exciting and a big part of how confident and comfortable you will feel during your session. Here are some tips to help you get ready both for your mind and your body.

On the mindset side of things

Chances are, you are already in a "screw it, let's do this” mindset if you already booked your session, but if it was a little quiet, it's time to make it roar! Don't let your pre-shoot jitters take over and remind yourself of your "no f.. given” attitude. This is your time to let loose and have fun!

Leave your body alone!

More often than not, we hear "I need to lose/gain a few pounds before my shoot”. This is not the right way to go about it.

If you want to take advantage of this session to get a good balance in your life and feel your best, like managing your stress, set up better nutrition habits and movement and improve your sleep, all the power to you. But if you are going to kill yourself at the gym in hopes to change your body, you are setting yourself up for failure.

Let's say you do manage to trim or bulk up in time, chances are you will go back to your regular self shortly after your session. Getting your photos might get you excited at first, but after a little while, you may not feel so good about them and end up comparing your body then and now.

Your photos are meant to be a keep sake, a long-term reminder of how beautiful and confident you are, in your every day body. Just let your body be and place your focus other aspect of your session, like what oufits make you feel your best.

Choose your outfits carefully

When selecting outfits for your boudoir shoot, choose pieces that you feel comfortable and confident in. Don't be afraid to mix and match different pieces to create a unique and personalized look. We can do up to 5 outfits in one session, and we definitely encourage you to have different vibes to illustrate different facets of your personality.

They don't have to be regular lingerie either! Any outfit can be turned into a boudoir one, and we will help you style it as such.

Practicing posing can help

Even if it isn't your job to know what to do in front of the camera and that we will guide you through it all, it can be helpful to practice some poses at home in front of a mirror.

Don't worry too much about it, but don't be scared to experiment just a little, check some poses and angles you might like. It will make you feel more confident once you are in front of the lens.

A few extra quickies before we end this…

Prep a playlist

Music has a huge influence on our moods, so definitely make yourself a playlist of songs that make you feel sexy & confident!

Watch those tan lines!

Bad tan lines can really ruin a look and are pretty much impossible to remove properly in post-production. If you are planning on hitting the beach before your shoot, make sure to either use sunblock or sunbathe au naturel…

Gather some inspo

Whether it is for makeup, outfits or poses, don't hesitate to fall into a Pinterest rabbit hole and save anything that catch your eye. Dismiss the perfect bodies and poses and just focus on the whole ambiance of the shot. It is so nice to get inspired with other looks and for us, it is helpful to see where you head is at!

Follow those little tips & tricks and we guarantee you'll have the best session ever! We have plenty more tips & tricks that we share with all of our new clients and we are always happy to answer any questions. If you would like to connect, head over to this link!

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Artist vs Entrepreneur

Juliette and I met in photography school in Paris 12 years ago. We spent 3 years learning about photography, its history and different technics (we even learnt about photographic film which was a lot of fun!). That process of learning pushed us to always discover and create more, we felt like true artists.

Juliette & Fanny, many many many moons ago, in photography school 📸

We were using each other as models and always had weird (cough - I mean interesting) ideas that ended up being really cool 🕶️. It was all about figuring out our style by trying random things. We did not care about likes and comments or making money, it was all about creating.

Then we opened Scandaleuse and things changed. Don’t get us wrong we still give all of our creative energy and love to our work and community, but becoming business owners shift your perspective about art and our passion.

Having a business changes everything!

The main goal of opening a business is to make a living out of it. You spend countless of hours working on your branding, building a trustful reputation, finding professional relationships and new clients. You invest so much energy, time, and money, that you do every you can to make a return on all that investment. Which means that unfortunately you put most of the creative enjoyment on the side and focus on what your clients would enjoy.

Of course you create your branding at your image and your clients come to you because they enjoy and can relate to your style, but creating for your business is different than creating just for yourself.

If we were to only focus on being artists, we will put our clients in more complicated poses, creative and colourful makeup, always nude or in weir outfits… But the way we do boudoir photography is to make it accessible to everyone and get away from traditional boudoir. For us it is really important to make sure we adapt to our clients rather than the other way around, and even if our Scandals like our style they still want to look like themselves during their shoot. So we do have to follow their taste and add a bit of our twist to the mix. Honestly we are ok with this because people who shoot with us always have cool ideas but they are also happy to follow our directions!

And whenever we feel the need to explore our creativity and do personal shoots, we know we have people in our community who are always up to go on our boudoir adventures 😍

What to do if you feel like you are loosing your creativity and passion?

When you have a full-time business, especially as a creative, you can easily lose your passion to focus only on money. It is not something that happens right away, it take years before realizing that your business is killing the artist within you. One day you wakeup feeling unmotivated and frustrated, without understanding why. Then you realize you haven’t created in a long time just for the sick of creating because you have been too focused on your business.

Well the solution is quite simple:

Take some time to work on a personal project to refuel your creative juice!

For example, if you are a photographer think about an idea or style you want to experiment, find a model or two (or 20 if you have a crazy big vision), maybe add other creative peeps on your project, and make it this project come to life! Don’t think about how many likes or comments you can get from it on social media, or how much you could sell the pictures for, do it just to fill yourself with joy and pride.

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“I’ll do a shoot when I will have the perfect body!”

The following is the most common reason that stops people from trying a boudoir shoot (honestly, if someone were to give us a loony every time we heard that sentence, we will be rich by now 💰), and it usually goes like this:

“I want to do a shoot so badly but I need to lose weight first!”

NO YOU DON’T NEED TO. You don’t need to look thinner, you don’t need to be more muscular, you don’t need to go through plastic surgery.

Don’t get us wrong, if for example your goal is to do a boudoir-fitness shoot then of course you will want to showcase your muscles. But if you want to do a shoot for yourself, to feel more confident and sensual, then do it the way you are: beautiful au naturel 💛.

The eternal search for the “perfect” body

Because of classic boudoir photographs, it is not surprising to hear that so many people believe they have to lose weight, be more fit, or change their body one way or another, in order to do a shoot. We are in 2023 and body diversity is still not well represented in our field. What you can mostly see are heavily photoshopped professional models with the same body type.

This makes it hard for most people to imagine they could do a boudoir shoot even if they don’t look like those models. What’s even harder is that it does not stop at boudoir but is everywhere we look, especially with social media. And even thought a lot of people fight for body diversity acceptance, we are still not there yet.

The belief that a body is beautiful only if it follows certain standards is so deeply rooted that it will take years to disappear, and will stop only if people learn to accept their body and love it the way it is.

Changing your body for a boudoir shoot is a dangerous game

Let say for example you don’t like the way you look because you think you are too big and you believe that you have to attain a certain number in order to do a shoot. You will work hard, maybe for months, to reach to your boudoir goal, and once you get there you finally do your shoot. Awesome you did it, but can you guess what happens next?

Most likely there will be two scenarios:

• #1: This experience was kind of a wake up call for you. Fitness becomes an important habit in your life. You feel motivated to keep working on this new body of yours and are very happy about it.

• #2 (and the most common): you don’t get any pleasure from that fitness journey so you stop and your body goes back to its natural shape and size.

Creating new habits, especially around body transformation, is hard and for a lot of people not worth the struggles and time around it.

What’s “dangerous” with changing your body before a shoot is that when you will look at those photographs in the future (and you still don’t feel confident about yourself) it will triggers tons of negative emotions because what you see on pictures doesn’t reflect who you are and what you look like. You will probably think you were more beautiful at that time and this will make your confidence completely drop.

In our opinion boudoir photography is about body acceptance, self-confidence, sensuality, and empowerment. Basically it is about accepting your whole badass-self!

Au naturel is better

Learning to accept your natural body and find beauty even with the parts you like less or hate is possible and requires practice. It is about changing the perspective you have regarding what you look like and running far far away from the destructive fashion industry’s beauty standards.

Also if you love social media, start following people who have the same body type as you and who inspire you. Follow people who are authentic with strong and human values. People who teach about body acceptance and self-love. But if you start feeling jealous about what you see online, then it is time to take a break from social media.

Your body is not your enemy. Be kind, gentle, and loving with it!

Be the same way as you are when your best friend is having a hard time: compassionate. Throwing hate or negative feeling at yourself will only make you feel worst. Only you can change the narrative 😘

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The real motive behind Boudoir Photography

Ah. Pretty boudoir photos. Well that’s nice. You get them done and forget about them within a couple of months right? What if we told you that it’s actually false? Indeed, there are many benefits in boudoir photography, but one that we tend to forget is that it is just a perfect occasion to simply pause your busy life and take time to yourself.

(Disclaimer: we are going to focus on women because – well - that is what we are, but the following does apply to anybody.)

Everything and everyone else comes first.

If you are a caring human being, chances are your own well-being is not #1 on your priority list. Your family, your kid, your partner, your business, your problems, you name it, probably are. Congratulations, you are a decent person and we need more people like you!

However, it doesn’t mean your own self-care should be forgotten. After all, you do read it on Instagram every day, with a perfect woman doing an incredible yoga pose at sunset hashtagging #NamasteBitches

And this perfect lady isn’t totally wrong. The reality is that, by putting people or things before you every day, all the time, chances of you burning out will be real. You will end up walking around with a little rain cloud over your head, wondering who you are, what the meaning of life is and how the hell you get out of this.

We can assure you that you’re gonna have one day during which you will feel the urge to slam doors as hard as you can because you’re not supposed to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders but you are trying anyway.

Why is this bad for you? Because you need to be at peace with yourself to basically function and do great things. How can you if you don’t take time to…. take time?

Why are so many women struggling with this to begin with?

Simple answer: we are naturally nurturing. But most importantly, we are expected to be (you know, the ability to be mothers and also the fact that we actually give a crap about what’s around us and all that). You are expected to be relied on and quite frankly, chances are you will be considered selfish if you dared announcing loud and clear “screw it, it’s me time today!”. How dare you, since your primary function is to take care of someone?

So, what do we do? We restrain ourselves from doing what we really want to do. It doesn’t have to be something big like moving to Argentina but even little pleasures in life that could do us some good.

Do we even deserve to do this?

Of course, even when we decide to finally splurge and something for ourselves, it doesn't always come easy. A little demon often sneaks in our brains and tell you "how dare you?! This is not for you.”

Women constantly undervalue themselves and it is a sad but true fact. On top of taking care of people and their things, we also think that we are not worth less than anybody else. Probably because we are constantly reminded that we can always do more. So why would we reward ourselves with some “me-time” to begin with?

If you think this way, this is the moment when you take a seat, grab the tea we’re giving you, look at us right in the eye while we tell you “you are doing the best you can, you are awesome and you deserve a break.”

What does our boudoir work have to do with any of this?

Boudoir isn't just about creating gorgeous art with your sexy self. It's a whole experience. It’s a safe space in which you can let go, think about you, and more importantly: reconnect with yourself.

For a short amount of time in your busy schedule, you are a priority. You can be your true self without hiding behind anything and even better: without being judged.

By embracing your vulnerability and turning it into a strength, you will be able to grow (or rediscover) your confidence. And then what?

You make a powerful tool out of it and use it in your everyday life.

Not only will you feel stronger and become a better partner, friend, mother, but you will trust yourself a lot more to make bigger and scarier decisions. It will be easier for you to take on new challenges and succeed at them. All of this coming from a simple photoshoot out of your comfort zone.

Don’t underestimate the power of taking time to yourself. We all need to disconnect from our “duties” and reconnect with ourselves. And boudoir is a pretty neat way to do it.

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