Men, boudoir & body image

The boudoir industry has been more appealing to women since its creation. Very likely because it is a field that helps you get in touch with your body, your sensuality, and your femininity. Does that mean that men are excluded?

Absolutely not.

The men body and the body-positive movement

First of all, we are deeply convinced that everyone would appreciate a tasteful and beautiful image of themselves in the nude, whether they keep it private or not. It is the ultimate confidence booster after all.

Yet, while women can now enjoy the body-positive movement in some media and thus, feel more and more included and surrounded with less edited and more real images (yay!), men are stuck with the perfect Calvin Klein model with a 6-pack.

It is just extremely rare to see normal-looking men in the media.

In order to dig a bit more, we went directly to the source and asked the men in our community how they felt about all of this. Darius stated:

“Media & fashion has an enormous influence on how men see their bodies. That even starts in childhood - look at all the comic books, where every superhero is muscular hunky macho man, with strong facial features and sulky expressions. Toys like 'Action Man' and similar also portray certain image of the man. When you grow up, popular image of the movies or cartoons or commercials is of a boy who is athlete, again certain physique attributed to that.”

Women grew up with Barbie's unachieVable body type, but men also grew up with perfect looking action figures. Except Barbie's looks are becoming less and less relevant everyday.

Men VS body issues

It is pretty common for women to express themselves about their body-image. Not that the way it is done is always healthy, but at least, we can have open conversation a lot more easily than our men friends.

If anything, talking about men body-issues is still seen as not-manly, weak, frivolous & even laughable. Great supportive environment, right?

As Mike said:

“Guys struggle with self image quite a bit too but because we aren't (openly) judged on it as much as women, it's more of a quiet struggle. Then again, the amount of guys I know with back problems and knee braces, relocated hair and the inevitable "dad bod" is further down the wish list... the older guys get, the more they just want their body to work like it used to!”

To this day, the clichés around masculinity are still going strong. And they won't go anywhere until more men open up about this, just like women are doing (the difference though is that you have more chances to be listened to and supported than we are, but that's another story!)

So, gentlemen, what benefits could boudoir give you?

1) BOOST YOUR CONFIDENCE by challenging yourself

A boudoir shoot is a challenge by itself. It is vulnerable & sets you out of your comfort zone. But what happens when you step out of your comfort zone? You grow and develop confidence. And this spreads in every area of your life. We can guarantee that you will leave this experience with a confidence boost if you try it.

2) Appreciate your body the way it is

By having a professional boudoir shoot down, you will be given the opportunity to see your body in a flattering way, the way it really is. And this feeling also leads to a healthy and strong personal growth.

3) Get in touch with your feminine side (no it doesn't mean you’re gay!)

Every single human being has both a feminine and masculine side. Women tap into their masculine side constantly (even too much in our current society, but again, that's another topic), so why couldn't you tap into your feminine one? Your feminine side is a huge asset in your life. It keeps you grounded and helps you simply enjoy what is around you. You become more aware of what all of your senses are picking up, it helps you develop new perspectives and creativity. It's a win-win for you and your loved ones!

4) Bring down the pressure around men body-image.

The more regular-looking men we will see around, the more normal it will become, just like it is happening for women. But it has to start somewhere, and it is in your power to demolish those beauty standards by simply showing reality. You won't be only be doing yourself a favor, you will also do one for your fellas too.

5) Break the toxic masculinity

By trying such a vulnerable experience and coming out feeling just good about yourself, you will slowly but surely remove the clichés attributed to men such as “don’t cry, be strong, suck it up, don't be girlie” and so on.

You got the idea, a boudoir shoot will simply give you the chance to feel good about yourself. It is a gift from you, to you. So Why prevent yourself from enjoying an experience like this?

Letter to our society

Dear society,

There was a time when we, people, allowed you to negatively impact our decisions and Life. We did not know better, neither realized we could actually change social norms. So we trusted most of the things that were told to us!

Like, for example, how women need to have proper manners and men to be manly, in order to be respected. What type of clothes are the most appropriate to wear in order to be accepted by others. We accepted the pressure about our sexuality and who we should love because we felt threatened if we were to choose otherwise. We rushed into similar paths because we believed being different is a weakness.

But this social pressure is heavy and honestly it is loosing credibility. How can we take those common standards seriously when, clearly, nothing we do is enough:

• We know the importance of Life but make ourselves obsolete after 40 years old.

• We hear womxn who show too much skin are sluts but if we cover ourselves, we are old school.

• It is a common rule for people who identify as men to not show their vulnerability as they think they should always be strong. So can we really complain when they don't find other ways other than violence and aggressivity, to show their masculinity .

• We are supposed to be healthy and strong so we can be good workers and help make this society works but all we consume is chemicals and pills.

• We break ourselves apart, building inequalities: rich vs poor, men vs women, skinny vs fat, young vs old... But yet, we should support each others when times are difficult.

We divided ourselves by saying which skin colour is the most powerful but we forgot we are all human beings!

We let anger and fear dictate our life and we put the blame on society, rather than getting together to create positive changes. There are so many things that are wrong in this world and we let it happen, so we are also part of the problem.

Taking actions and being consistent (practice makes perfect!) is a must if we want to help this world to improve. To do so, we need to get out of our comfort zone and look at our belief system. Is it still accurate to this day? Is there adjustments here and there we can make to make a step towards what we want to build?

There is so much more in this world beyond what we think we know! We need to open our mind and increase our knowledge. We need to experience by ourselves and make our own opinions rather than believing only in what we see in the media or what we are told.

It is time we realize WE are society and that, all together we can empower this world and decide how to live our life. We are strong, smart, gorgeous and badass people who will take their lives by the reins and make this world a better place.

We now dare to be unique!

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How to get your inner fire back.

Have you ever felt like you are living your life in autopilot mode? Like nothing, good or bad, really matters. You just feel kind of numb. This general lack of excitment and drive is a signal that you haven't postivitely challenged yourself lately, you’re missing your little inner fire. Something got lost on the road, and it is okay, you can find it back.

Reflect, reflect, reflect.

Now, before you start trying everything and nothing and printing out pinterest checklist and Marie Kondo-ing your apartment, you have to take a minute to reflect because when we get in this mode, we all tend to forget the good things we have done and focus on what we don't have at the moment.

Take a moment to tune in with yourself. What gets YOU excited? What would you like to improve on or learn if you didn't have to worry about limitations of any kind? What are your proudest accomplishments? What are you proud of in general?

You can write those down, meditate, go for a walk, just do whatever you need to take those precious minutes and see what's going on.

Channel that feeling of pride.

Even if you cannot necessarily see it at the moment: you have accomplished stuff, big or small. It could have been simply changing that damn lightbulb that was flickering forever, to you changing job. It doesn't matter what it is, this feeling of accomplishment is what makes us want to do more. It gets the ball rolling towards more.

Seriously, high-five yourself, you are doing just fine.

Remove the unnecessary pressure.

There is no race to the best person ever. Change takes time and nothing is set in stone. To make change stick, you need to be consistent to it becomes natural to you, and that is NOT easy. You may take longer or go faster than others to accomplish whatever your heart desires and that's totally fine.

The idea is not to go there fast, it's to make sure it stays on the long-run.

So if you feel anxious like you haven't done what you wanted to, take a deep breath and remind yourself there is no deadline on a healthy mindset. Maybe you didn't have every tool you needed to move forward at this time, but it doesn't mean it's not gonna change now.

Goal setting is supposed to be thrilling, not stressful

If setting a specific goal for yourself stresses you out (and not the good kind of stress, we are talking about anxiety here), don't set it. You're not ready for it (yet), or you may not even want it. Make your steps reasonnable, you are not gonna because fluent in the language you have been wanting to learn in one day for example.

Remember, we are trying to rebuild this warm sense of accomplishments, the task do not need to be gigantic to get it.

Follow your own standards & wave goodbye to people's expectations.

Let us let you in on a little secret: you can do anything.

Read that again.

Now that this has sunk in a bit, you can start learning to let go of people's expectations. Your family, friends, boss, you name it. You need to hear your inner voice to guide you properly and you can’t do so with the noise of others around. People love projecting their own insecurities on others when they are talking about something new. Don't let it kill your groove here.

Eyes on the prize my friend, at the end of the day, you, and only you, know better what is best for YOU. Trust the process.

If you are looking for a little way to challenge yourself smoothly, you can sign up below for our free self-confidence challenge below!

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To want or not want children.

I have never pictured myself as a mother. Don't get me wrong, I have played with baby dolls and whatnot, but I have never had this deep feeling of "I will be a mom one day". Not a lot of people believed me when I was younger, but not that I am approaching 30 and am in a relationship with a man who does not want kids either, I am taken seriously. And it feels nice. So whether you are in the same boat or not, here are some helpful reminders to guide you through your journey.

The main purpose for women is NOT to have children. 

Yes, we have this super power of creating life and it's super badass. I personally think every single pregnant woman should be treated like absolute queens, because while we are all standing there, they are creating eyeballs for another being and stuff. 

However, just because you have the power doesn't mean you have to use it.

We grew up thinking it was the way to go. You're a woman? You will be a mother. But that's not the case anymore. 

You are not solely defined by becoming a mother. In my case, my freedom, my career and my relationships are my priorities. And if you already are a mother, it doesn't define YOU completely either. You are much more than that.

It is YOUR choice. And you don't have to justify it.

"Ha you don't know what you want yet."
"You're too young, you'll see later".

Those are the 2 main sentences I heard when I said I don't want children. And I felt like I had to bring up facts in order to explain why I made this decision. The truth is: I don't, and you don't either.

The decision is yours to make, you don't owe anyone an explanation and others need to follow.

Which leads me to a story with a doctor I have seen in the past who pissed me off (a woman too! I was blown away!). I have an ovarian cyst, the size of a golf ball. It has been monitored for over 4 years. Every 6 months, I have to endure those uncomfortable ultrasounds, blood work, and being bounced from one specialist to the other. All my male doctors have said "we are leaning towards removing it. It could damage your ovary, thus your chances to conceive. Do you want children? No? Okay. We are gonna get one extra opinion from a surgeon to make sure it is not too bad."

I remember being in this female surgeon's office, and I was pretty determined to have this cyst removed already. I was done with the medical exams, the uncertainty, and the risk of it evolving into something nasty. She asked me if I wanted children, I said no. And she said…

"I'm not doing the operation, you will change your mind"

Wait a minute. You are putting my health at risk for a decision that I already made, that doesn't concern you, just because you think I will change my mind? 

I was livid. I ended up seeing a male surgeon, who will be doing the operation, no questions asked, because it is indeed best for me.

You are allowed to change your mind. And maybe you won't.

"Aaah, don't worry, you'll change your mind" is definitely in the top 3 of responses I got. 

First, I am not worried, thank you. 

Second, yes, we don't know how life will evolve. I may never change your mind about having children. Maybe one day, it will spark in my mind, and it will feel right by me, and my partner. But this decision is up to me and only me. And it works both ways! Maybe you want children now, and one day, you may think that actually, you don't feel it anymore. And that's okay too!

No one is allowed to put any kind of pressure (passive or active) on you for this decision. Do what feels right for you. Always.

You gotta be honest with your partner.

That is one of the suckiest parts. If you are feeling good with someone and have ignored this topic and now you are committed, you may be up for a ride.

Just like someone can't ask you to have a baby when you don't want to, you can't expect them to pass on the experience when they want to become a parent.

My previous relationship lasted 6 years. We splitted up for different reasons, but this would have been the end of us eventually, and deep down, I knew it. It was one of the first things I brought up in the early dating days with my fiance, and I am so glad I did. 

Not wanting children is okay. Wanting them is okay too. What matters is that you are making this decision on your own terms, no matter what. And, no, you don't have to explain yourself to anyone. Sending you love to all the mamas, the wannabe mamas, and the not-wanna be mamas like me!

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Boudoir Photography = a step back from feminism?

One of our first radio interview covered the relationship bewteen boudoir photography and feminism. A sociologist was brought on board to discuss the impact on publishing your boudoir photos online and she had a pretty strong opinion about it (even though we do not agree with it, we believe it is important to listen to other's point of view and understand why people can think differently).

If you'd like to watch the interview and read the article (in French), it's here.

A quick reminder.

We won't go over in details why you should do a boudoir session (because we did it here) but to recap, we think that the best reason to do it is because you want to treat and/or challenge yourself. It is the perfect opportunity to showcase your confidence, welcome your true self and slam the door on everything that has held you back.

Posting sexy photos of yourself online = seeking attention?

During this interview, we were asked why our models were sharing their photos online. Our main argument is that, you Scandals post them because you are proud of them, and proud of yourself. The second argument is that, we do like receiving support from others. It feels nice to get positive comments from friends, family and sometimes strangers.

Every time our clients share their pictures from their session on social media, they get a lot of positive comments from people supporting the movement. They even inspire people to do a same or at least be more loving with their body.

If social media can get more positive messages and encouragement, we don't know about you but we are down!

The point of view expressed by the sociologist in this article was pretty concerning. From what we understood, she thinks the fact that more women want to show themselves in lingerie is risky and is not a way to claim our feminism. She adds:

"Why should every woman show themselves? I see it at a regressive phenomenon."

Not Ashamed.

By definition, feminism is wanting to get the same rights as men, period. We think that dragging feminism and politics in this interview didn't make much sense with boudoir to begin with. We are assuming the idea behind it was that, as women, we cannot expect to be taken as seriously if we were to post sexy pictures of ourselves online.

Boudoir photography is getting more and more popular for one reason: women (and men!) are finally saying "screw it" to inaccessible beauty standards and are encouraging self love and acceptance.

Boudoir is a way to celebrate yourself, why would you hide it? Don't get us wrong, you have every right to keep your photos private. But you also have the right to share them without losing points in the feminism column.

Less professional because of boudoir?

If you have been following us for a little while, you must have seen that we are mainly using ourselves for our advertising, in lingerie, and even tasteful nudity.

Does that make us look less professional to you? Do you even remember it when you see us face to face? No. What sticks is the message behind it: you can do whatever the hell you want.

The other photographer, Sarah, says at the end of the video that she admires women who share their photos online because it motivates others to do the same and will become more and more normal.

“We don't have to worry about what people think because it does not define who we are.” she added.

Man, we cannot agree more! You are not less professional because of your boudoir photos. It has absolutely nothing to do with your work performance, the way you interact with people, or whether you like broccoli or not. If anything, you were just brave enough to openly say you are proud of yourself.

You do not need to explain your choices to others. Do a boudoir shoot if that makes you happy, share your pictures with the world if you want to… At the end of the day YOU are the only one who decide what is the best for your beautiful self!

And if you don't feel ready (yet!) to do a boudoir shoot with a professional, then start with an homemade one. We have created a fully detailed online program so you can take your own pictures with just your cellphone, at home, in your own time. This is the perfect opportunity to get familiar with the boudoir photography world!

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Covid 19 - Our opinion about all of that madness

Between freaking out a little, bringing new ideas to life and reorganizing ourselves, we haven't really had the time to give you our opinion about the madness happening in our world right now. It is a scary situation that is going to change our entire economy and not knowing what to expect and when it will get better is probably the hardest part of it…

But we believe it will be for the best.

When it all started

We are not gonna lie, when we realized we would not be able to offer boudoir shoots for a while, the idea of a potential quarantine was like a slap in the face. We were not stressed out because of the virus, neither the fear of loneliness but by the lack of income… It is crazy how money can make people jump from happiness to depression in a really short amount of time! We got sad, tired, cranky and filled with negative thoughts (I even had a panic attack on my balcony one night!).

It felt like all of those years building Scandaleuse Photography was gonna end up in the garbage, like this beautiful adventure was all for nothing. We understood then how Rick Grimes and his friends must have been feeling in their zombie apocalypse and how, like them, we will have to improve our survival skills in order to stay alive…

Yeah we agree, it's a bit too dramatic but this is how negativity can make you feel sometimes!

There is always sun above the clouds

We HAD to change our way of thinking, so we rented a car, packed our bags and went to nature for a couple of days to relax, strategize and refocus. This was what we needed, we even met a man who was very spiritual and who helped us to see things in a clearer way (he also cooked delicious breakfasts for us and we all know food is the perfect remedy against sadness).

When we came back to Toronto with a lighter mind and heart, it was easier to switch our mindset in a positive way: we brainstormed about new ideas for the business, how to make online income and reminded ourselves that we are young healthy people with a roof over our heads, so it could have been a lot worse!

Call us naive or utopian if you want, but we also decided to believe this situation is a actually a blessing in disguise.

Our world is changing

Humans are smart.

All of us are! We are a resourceful specie who can adapt to any situation and we are lucky to be living in a time where technology is a big part of our lifestyle. There is so much we can do if we decide to see outside of the box and open our mind to new ideas. It's a matter of taking action and surrounding yourself (well virtually for now) with people who impact your life in a positive way.

Look at how people are being creative and taking control of the situation! It did not take long to see the solidarity and faith we are building between businesses and communities: being forced to be appart is actually bringing us closer to each other.

If like us you care about our planet, you will agree when we say this situation is also having a positive impact on the environment (beside the single use products that are unfortunately coming back): pollution is decreasing, some animals are coming back where they belong… It's making us understand that we need to go back to a more natural and healthier way of living.

In a nutshell, it's teaching us what is essential in life and how to be happy with less than we think we need.

It is time to focus on you

Before everything happened, we always complained we didn’t have enough time because we were all busy working our butts off. Well, see this situation as the perfect opportunity to take time for yourself: you do not have excuses anymore to push back your projects and own growth.

Don't roll your eyes, we all find excuses, Juliette and I included :)

We have access to so many useful online ressources like books, classes, podcasts, movies… So it should be easy to finally learn that new language you always wanted to speak, write this book that have been at the back of your mind for so long or launch your online cooking classes you have been working on. Boredom is a negative feeling that can easily be transformed if you feel at peace with yourself.

Stop stopping yourself and give it a try (what do you have to lose anyway?)!

You are not alone

It is not because we are in quarantine that we have to be alone: get to know those people you have interest in. Simply send them a message and start a conversation. You might be surprised to see that you can still create friendships.

If social distancing is getting to hard to deal with and you start to feel lonely, then organize virtual drink dates with your friends, dance parties, books reading… whatever group activities that can make have some fun.

Remember that you are loved and have people around you who are here when you feel lonely, scared and stressed. You just have to reach out to them.

And to us! We are here for you as well.

The goal of this article is not to tell you what to do and how you should react. We all have different ways to deal with stressful situations and make ourselves feel better. We just want to bring some sunshine and hope and let you know that you will be ok: you are strong enough to adapt and change your lifestyle, so you can keep building that awesome life you deserve!

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Painful intimate conditions we should talk about more.

If I had the opportunity to read the following blog post when I was in my darkest time, it would have made me feel a lot less lonely. Maybe it would have allowed me to heal faster. So I hope this will help you.

Here goes: I have had UTIs and vaginal infections for as long as I can remember. Here is the fun part: everytime there is no bacteria, nothing "wrong" medically speaking to justify them. Stress-triggered apparently. 

I went through years of medical tests to find nothing. I wasn't even taken seriously half the time. There is nothing much online besides telling me to shove cranberries down my throat and eat probiotics. No guidance, no help. 

"Most women get those".

It is damn true: every single time I have mentioned it to a woman, she also shared her own intimate struggle with me too. It's like we all suffer in silence.

But just because most of us have to deal with annoying conditions like these doesn't mean it should be swept under the carpet and not spoken about.

Those conditions can make you spiral so bad and end up seriously affecting your everyday life. For years, that's all I could think about. Every time symptoms start to show up (as recently as last month), this vicious cycle of fear that I am screwed for the rest of my life and that it will never go away begins. 

Do I follow the basic " how to avoid-UTIs” starter pack? Please, if there was a competition for the best users, I'd probably win. No douching, pick the right underwear, drink tons of water, pee after sex, nothing too tight, all of those have been part of my daily routine forever.

So yeah, a few weeks ago after a few months of peace, right on my birthday, boom, it began again. I started with the medical consultation, got antibiotics I probably didn't need, and it made it worse.

During a late night internet search with hope to find some relief, I came across some comments from women such as "I have been dealing with these for 40 years". And it hit me: there is NO WAY in hell I will have to struggle for decades. 

Obviously, my intimate adventures are due to something going on beyond a physical level. It's a way for my body to handle stress or even share a message with me. Better start trying to find another approach. 

The quest of alternative solutions. 

A little disclaimer here: I know my body pretty well as I started having bacteria-free UTIs when I was 6 years old. Everything I share here is based on my own experience. Don't avoid medical attention in your case unless you are 100% sure of what you are doing.

Here is what I used to do:

• Panic google search any type of condition or remedies to try to put a label on it

• Not talk about it because I was ashamed of it and thought I could handle the spiralling alone. 

• Being angry at my body for f*cking up.

• Being scared of sex. More particularly pain during sex and fearing that I would disappoint my partner. So naturally, I left him out of what I was going through.

Here is what I tried this time, after breaking down:

• Noticing patterns: when did I feel the worse symptoms? I noticed they usually didn't show up when I was distracted or busy. Good point.

• Talked to my partner. Guess what, he understood. Of course he freaking did. 

• Freaking breathe. I made relaxation a priority a little bit more every day by stretching, meditating, working out, anything that simply felt right. 

But the most interesting thing I tried this time: I treated myself to a healing session with a Reiki practitioner.

Last year, I started reading more and more about alternative healing, the role of energies and the Universe. While I don't believe in everything I read, I kind of take whatever feels right to me. 

During the healing session, I asked Tiffany, the healer, to focus on this area of my body, to see if maybe she saw blocages or could get any guidance. And it got very interesting. A lot of useful information came out of this session, but I think the biggest one that clicked in my brain was when she talked about my balance between masculine and feminine energy.

Masculine VS Feminine energy

To explain it simply: each of us have both masculine and feminine energy. Just like the Yin and the Yang, they complete one another.

The masculine energy is more about "doing", being square and on a mission to accomplish things. The feminine energy is about "being", flowing through life, living your emotions. 

Backstory: I have always been a very controlling person. I am a planner, I am super rational and a goal achiever. To-do lists are my jam. I need structure to avoid stress, or so I thought.

What Tiffany saw during my session was that my feminine energy was tiny compared to my masculine energy which was acting like a bodyguard to protect me. Guess what is the center of the feminine energy in women? Pelvic area. Bladder, womb, vagina.

The conclusion was that since my masculine energy was off the chart, my feminine one had no choice but "firing up" down there to show its presence. By learning to let go and surrender, I could start healing myself.

Note that I was pretty much bawling my eyes out on that table, I had no doubt that this revelation was true.

The good news? Tapping into your feminine energy is super fun. It's all about not planning, indulging, going with the flow, moving around, being creative. I also tried Yin Yoga, which is supposed to help you reconnect with this specific energy and I couldn't believe the positive impact it's had on me. I also read this article that was pretty helpful (note the #7 of the list by the way eheh)

I started giving myself a break and forgiving me for thinking my body was doing something wrong.

When I start feeling pain, I take a moment to recenter, take a deep breath and let my feminine energy know that I hear her, she is safe, I am safe, and I am here for her. I tell myself that I am letting go, I relax my jaw (automatically, that's where I start tensing up). And it works. It just freaking works. Slowly, the symptoms disappear and I have spent my first few days in MONTHS symptoms free. 

Honestly, I am proud of myself for going out of my way to learn more about me. I'm getting close to my 30's and thought I knew myself 1000%. Turns out I didn't and I like what I am learning now. 

If you have been dealing with UTIs, yeast infections, intimate pains… know that you are not alone. Know that you can find relief. You may have to try different things before finding something that works. Follow your instinct for what YOU think is good for YOU. 

Looking to try the healing session I did? Reach out to Tiffany here!

Take control of your self-image

Originally written for The Beach Psychotherapy in Toronto

We never see ourselves the way we really are. And that could be okay if we didn’t have a tendency to turn towards negative feelings about our own image. Let’s be real, rare are the people who don’t fall into self-criticism.

Three years ago when we started Scandaleuse Photography, we didn’t know how much we would help women struggling with their self-perception. Women that can’t stand looking in the mirror and end up avoiding them at all costs. Women who think they are never good enough or who got their self-respect stolen from them. Women who feel stuck, who lack the amazing feeling of accomplishment that gives you butterflies and the motivation to keep growing and improving.

Because the relationship you have with yourself starts on the physical aspect and can impact everything else in your life.

Your femininity is a source of positive energy you need to tap into.

First things first: you are not alone. At least 1 out 5 Canadian women are not happy with the way they look. That is huge. There is a certain pressure society lays out for us that implies, or rather screams at us, that the definition of beauty is to be thin and flawless. Seeing this very day, It is very difficult not to compare yourself to these standards and feel miserable if you think you don’t match them.

You are your best ally and your worst enemy. Getting in touch with yourself is essential for a positive mind growth and it starts with celebrating your own kind of beauty and femininity, your way.

That’s right, your version of being feminine. Because there isn’t just one perfect way, you can twist it and morph it making it your own.

Let us tell you a little story. When we photographed Lea, she told us she refused to see herself as attractive. She could see it through her partners’ eyes, but couldn’t believe it from her own perspective. Through her session, she finally managed to see that she was beautiful with every aspect of her body. Things she had considered “flaws” such as, “her asymmetrical breasts, soft belly, cellulite and hair”

Sometimes you need to see yourself from another pair of eyes to ditch the distorted image you have of yourself.

If you have one day in which you feel even a tiny bit good about yourself, channel it 500% and use it as a constant strength. Because while we all have moments when we feel not so good about ourselves, we also have days when, hey, we’re actually okay. It could be as simple as having a good hair day or a little success like changed that light bulb that had been burnt out for months. Take this feeling, hold it tight and nurture the hell out of it.

Take Katie as an example, a lovely woman with a physical disability. She decided to not let this get it the way and to celebrate her true self. It started slowly, one step at a time with a better diet and focusing on improving her range of motion. She put herself on a good path, wanting to make of her goals come true: showing it to the world. That’s when she called us. She said it herself “I am ready to challenge what people expect. You are not invisible, you are worthy.”

What about when someone stole and damaged your self-love?

This is Erica’s story. Erica suffered from the hatred of a man, a family member for years. While she managed to escape, it wasn’t without consequences: this experience completely destroyed her self-esteem. She told us she didn’t have control of her own image anymore. We met completely randomly and she gathered the courage to challenge herself with a boudoir session.

It wasn’t easy. We saw her shake, hesitate and even tear up but she did it. Posing in front of the lens made her realize that the qualities she was admiring in others were also part of her.

She was able to win back what she thought was gone forever and shout out to the whole world “I will never feel ashamed to be me anymore.”

This feeling of accomplishment is a great push to keep going, you end up craving it and you’ll do anything to keep creating and experiencing it.

The truth is: once you get the courage to show yourself and vulnerable in lingerie in front of “strangers”, you’re left with an empowering feeling of “I can do anything”.  Everyone needs to challenge themselves on different levels. It makes you want to keep going, it helps you grow and become more assertive, thus more confident. You end up creating a cycle of positive vibes which will lead you to move mountains.

Treat yourself like you would treat your best friend, because after all, YOU are your best friend. If there is one thing you need to take away from this post is that you only have one body and one mind; it’s YOURS to make use out of it.

If you feel like spending time with us on a Sunday morning with pastries & coffee, join us on March 22nd for our new workshop “A guide to trusting yourself” ! Sign up below to get the deets!

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Letter to my 17 year-old self

Dear 17-year-old Juliette,

You know, there is this trendy exercise I have seen around lately, in which you are writing to your 10 years younger self. People warn their younger selves, they tell them what they could have done and what they should have avoided, so they can have an easier present.

Are there stuff we should have done back then? Absolutely.

Maybe you can let go a bit more and stop worrying about other people's opinions and expectations.

Maybe you can speak louder and send those nasty guys packing when they harrass you in the street, making you feel so small and so uncomfortable.

Maybe you can learn to appreciate the way you look instead of comparing yourself and fighting so hard to hide what you think are flaws. Like this big chunk of side bangs you’re desperately trying to hide behind for some reason. Dad used to say “You have 2 eyes, why can't I see both of them?” and I know you scoff at it. Fact though: he's right.

Maybe you can start trusting people instead of taking over everything and everyone. Maybe you will be disappointed like you are convinced you will be, but maybe not.

But honestly, I am glad you didn't do any of these things. Because thanks to those, you went through experiences and learnt the lessons included in the package.

Because thanks to you, I can do all of the above now, confidently and I am spreading the good vibes around me.

So instead of those “maybes", I want to say thank you .

Thank you for being the stubborn woman you already are. I wouldn't have pursuing my dream career without it. (Seriously girlfriend, we've been photographers for over 12 years now! Can you believe it?!)

Thank you for being open-minded and curious. Without you, I wouldn't have learned english and been able to speak it every day almost flawlessly.

Thank you for not being scared to see big. Otherwise we would have stayed in France where we felt “meh” and settle for a boring life instead of changing country twice, open a successful business and then meet the love of our life. (he's really cool and also really handsome. Freaking jackpot, let me tell you.)

Thank you for trying to deal with that body of yours. Because at some point, I said f*ck it and decided to take the self-love route. If you hadn’t gone throught those troubles, we wouldn't have been able to help other people with the same struggles through our work!

At the end of the day, Juliette, I wouldn't be here if it wasn’t for you. Thank you for paving this road for me. I can't wait to see what 10-year older Juliette will have to say about the one I am paving now. I'm sure we will make her proud too.

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I strongly encourage you guys to try this little exercise of introspection. We can’t tell you enough that self-love is your tool to nurture as much as you can, in order to be happy on the long-run. Feel free to tag us if you share yours in a post! Lots of love. J & F.

Don't Change My Body.

Boudoir photography is the one kind that automatically must involve tons of editing. It should make sense: we are capturing such intimate photos, in a society where Photoshop is the norm and filters are a go-to before posting anything online. 

You should have a six-pack. But with curves if you are a woman. You can't be too fat or too skinny. Boobs are a must. Your butt is not big enough. Since the beginning of time, we have been dictated what looks "good". It has an impact on all of us. Some follow, some proudly say they don't. Apps are created to change your body with the tip of your fingers. It's in our everyday life.

If you remember well, we briefly mentioned in our boudoir approach article that we opened Scandaleuse also to fight against beauty standards and body-shaming. No one should have to suffer because the way they look. We want to show our Scandals the way they are in real life.

But we do edit them.

We see you coming: "oh my goodness how dare you?! You're like all "let's be yourself and ride a unicorn" and now you openly say you edit your clients?"
It is such a thin line between adjusting/removing a little something and changing a person during the editing process. Let's say that if people won't be able to recognize you on your pictures, whatever you are thinking of editing shouldn't be tweaked.

Our editing motto: "We take out what's temporary".

Now what does this means? Everything that you weren't born with, that's gonna fade over time, or that is caused by a specific pose, can be edited out, unless said otherwise.

Are you going to keep your pimples, bruises or uneven makeup? Nope.
A pose you like involved putting your arm super close to your chest, hence making it bigger than in real life? We can adjust it. It's not the way your arm look normally.
Your underwear was a little low on your waist, causing an imaginary roll? That's out too.
Our lighting is intensifying cellulite that you wouldn't really see in real life? We smoothen it.

There are things that we remove in case the client asks.

Again, you cannot come to us asking to make you thinner/curvier. If this is what you are looking for, we are not the girls for you. We are not plastic surgeons and don't intend to be.

However, if for example you have some stretch marks from after your pregnancy that's really making you feel like crap, we can smoothen them. 

Scars are a slightly different story. A lot of people, myself included, consider scars being a part of yourself. Our models have some. Some are very dominant, some aren't. No one has ever asked to have them removed in post for now. Would we do it if we were asked? Of course.

So yes, we do edit our clients. Just not in the way you would think. We have had to refuse inquiries in the past from people who were not really looking for pictures of themselves, but of someone they hope they could be. There is nothing we can do for you then, the work has to come from you first. We are here to celebrate you, not change you.

Now go hug yourself.

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4 things we learned by becoming boudoir photographers

Even though we have been shooting boudoir here and there for 10 years, we decided to make it our main focus 3 years ago. Becoming full time boudoir photographers have taught us some quite unexpected facts…

1) There is a huge therapeutic aspect to boudoir photography

Don’t get us wrong, of course we knew that having boudoir photos taken can help a lot of aspects in your life. But when we first opened, we were mainly focused on the physical part of it, like getting more comfortable in your own skin. We quickly noticed thanks to our clients sharing their stories with us that the impact was much much bigger than “just” that.

Like Marine, who told us her weight loss journey, or another Scandal mentionning being assaulted over a decade ago, who said she lost her own image and couldn’t really see herself anymore. Or Léa, who managed to regain her sense of femininity, Or the lovely lady who hit the reset button on her life, got a divorce, got a new partner and just wanted to celebrate life.

We have helped women wiN their own self image back, deal with obstacles on a daily basis, get stronger, louder, prouder in our own little ways. And that’s incredibly rewarding.

That's also why we also decided to now team up with a mindset consultant, so we can go deeper and help on the long run. In case you missed it, we are actually having a model call to try it out, you should check it out!

2) The snow ball effect

Little did we know that this very positive effect from above would spread all around... Until we received feedback from our clients after their photos, thanking us for giving them confidence to apply to their every day life. They’ve become more assertive, more determined and are not as scared of changes as they used to be. Even their posture have improved!

We now see it during every session: you pass the door slightly nervous, not sure what to do, you leave the shoot walking tall and proud, ready to conquer the world. The best part? It doesn’t just stop at the day of the shoot.

3) We have impacted ourselves by impacting others.

Or how we’ve impacted ourselves by impacting others. Ironically, while we are always the first one to encourage women to embrace their bodies, we were having our own struggles with ours. Without knowing, we started our own healing process by inspiring ourselves from YOU Scandals.

When we first opened Scandaleuse, we needed content for advertising purpose. A lot of our models have a clause in their contracts to forbid the use of their photos on any kind of support, which is pretty understandable. We needed content, so we took the decision to use ourselves to advertise.

And oh boy the life changing decision that was: we went from the shy first photos with as much coverage as possible to getting naked in the woods just for the hell of it.

Fact: I peed my pants before posting this one a year ago and almost chickened out. No, I want to print it for my living room.

If you had told us this a few years ago, we would have laughed at your face. Now we are like “I want my next shot to be in a busy street, wearing nothing but a trench coat”. Our perceptions of our own bodies have changed drastically and, just like you, the snow ball effect applied to us. Shaking the Earth to get what we want is definitely a skill added to our resume, and we have you to thank for that.

4) Turns out men also have body issues

The media don’t talk about it. You know, men are too strong to feel self conscious about their appearance bruh. The truth is, men can also feel crappy about the way they look, and can also benefit for some boudoir photos. 9 times out of 10, when men inquire with us, we can tell they fish for information, are tempted, but aren’t quite ready to say it out loud yet. Guess what gentlemen? We’re not going anywhere, so we will definitely be here when you’re ready to make the jump! In the meantime, you can read this. You’re welcome.

We never thought that being boudoir photographers would be so rewarding, on so many levels. We couldn’t be happier that you guys are allowing us to build our carrer out of it. You get stronger and so do we. And this will lead to newer, bigger projects…

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Is it wrong to want to feel sexy?

It is in our nature to want to be admired and respected. On top of that we want to look strong, confident and just beautiful in general and we are not scared to say it out loud. However, we don't really say out loud "HELLO I AM SEXY!" or we don't even dare thinking it. But what's so wrong with that?

What does sexy even mean?

Some people would tell you straight up: you are "sexy" when people want to have sex with you. Period. And it's actually not entirely wrong since we have the tendency to qualify someone as sexy when they radiate a sensual feeling and a lot of time, it comes from a physical aspect.

We have met countless women and men saying "oh gosh, I am so NOT sexy" sometimes with a chuckle, sometimes blushing, sometimes with regrets in their voice.

We are in 2018 and the word sexy should and has a lot more different meanings. To us, being sexy is pretty much a way to say you are attractive and you have a little je-ne-sais-quoi.

And since being attractive is so suggestive, it means that no one will ever have the perfect definition of sexy, but it also means that everyone can actually be sexy in their own way.

That's a pretty good news, right?

Throw away the clichés

Non-exhaustive list of sexy things according to the Scandaleuse Dictionary, 2017 edition by Capdevielle J. & Lelorrain F.

• confidence

• a woman's neck

• ambition

• nice hands

• determination

• kindness

• heels

• a smile/smeye

• tattoos

• and way more...

Is there any links between all of these? Not really. Maybe your partner finds you sexy when you're changing a lightbulb for that matter. Because being sexy does not fall into one and only one category. It is more a feeling, an attitude and not only the way you look.

Now that we've seen these, I can honestly say that I would definitely love to be seen as confident, ambitious, kind with nice hands, a tattoo while smiling. It brings me closer to the version of myself I want to be in my life and it makes me happy.

So if I follow this logic, I then want to feel attractive. And since all of these factors can also be considered sexy, it also means that I do want to feel sexy too, but in my own way.

And there is nothing wrong with that.

So no, there is nothing wrong with wanting to feel sexy.

Because it makes you feel good. And when you feel good, you also do good things. And this makes you feel good too. You see the snowball effect of goodness here?

So why wouldn't you want to be sexy? 

We are getting further and further from the cliché of "sexy = trashy" that it is time to reappropriate the whole concept and turn it into something positive. off you go you sexy beast.

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4 more reasons to try the boudoir experience

The main question we get when explaining our work is “why would someone do a boudoir shoot to begin with?”. You may already do the most common answers we wrote here, but since we like being extra, here are 4 more reasons why you should take the leap!

A travel reward

This one is definitively a cool idea. We got an email a month and a half ago from the sexy Vanessa saying she was coming in Toronto and wanted to have her photos taken in her Airbnb with the view on the CN Tower. She travels a lot and her goal is to get a boudoir shoot every time she is in a new city. We were so honoured she chose us for Toronto. It was her first boudoir session and she did a wonderful job at letting go. The pictures are stunning and we can't wait to work with her again.

Birthday Girl

Few days ago we had the great pleasure to photograph - for the fourth time - the lovely Liana. She contacted us because she wanted to treat herself with a little boudoir shoot in the Graffiti Alley, to celebrate her 36th birthday. Such an awesome idea! We love her personality, she is always smiling, kind and so confident, we couldn't say no.

So here we are, 10:30 am downtown Toronto and there she was, holding tons of balloons, wearing heart-shaped glasses and her hot pink outfit. Of course, we picked the only day when the weather was coldish, but that was fine, she is a pretty badass woman to begin with. As usual we did not have to pose her, as a burlesque dancer she already knows how to play with her body. We had never shot in the Graffiti Alley and the photos turned out great (as colourful as her personality)

Morality of the story: birthdays are important and we should all treat ourselves with a little boudoir shoot!

Fabulous at 50

It breaks our heart when we hear women saying they would love to try boudoir but don't because they think they are too old. We will never stop saying it: you do not need to have a particular age or body shape to treat yourself. Why would you stop yourself because of what the society says or tries to make you believe. Just do you!

And this is what three of our recent clients did. They were brave enough to kick the standards in their faces and think only about themselves. They are powerful women who decided to enjoy being 50 and celebrate it instead of letting negatives thoughts about getting older dictates how they should feel.

We cannot show you their beautiful faces because of privacy purpose but they rocked their sessions. It was a beautiful encounter, they are such a great inspiration for us all.

Before becoming a bride

We are always over the moon when we received inquiries from brides to be for a boudoir session. A wedding is such a big step and can be overwhelming, so taking some time for yourself to relax is a must. Plus the future partners are always pleased to see the final pictures.

This is what Sarah did few weeks ago and she was stunning. Such a beauty who was not scared to show her scars. She brought so many outfits, it was hard to pick the best ones, so we did most of them! We went for a modern vibe because bridal boudoir doesn't have to be classic, even if white lingerie is also gorgeous, it can be way more creative.

as you can see, there are many opportunities to do a boudoir shoot. We have a lot More adventures coming up and we can't wait to share them with you.

Important note: It is not because most of our clients are women, that you gentlemen can't treat yourself too. Remember, boudoir photography is not only open to women!

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