The power of femininity

We live in a masculine world, where femininity is often seen as a weakness. We focus on goals, the future, security, and protection, when we should also live more in the moment (which is one of the feminine traits).

But femininity is powerful, when you dig into it you become more aware of your emotions, your body, and the world around you. It also makes it easier to connect with others and create more meaningful relationships.

Femininity VS Masculinity

First, let see the basics to understand the differences between masculine traits and feminine ones:

• Masculinity is more about drive, focus, assertiveness, and confidence.

• Femininity is more about empathy, connection, caring, and nurturing others. It is also being in touch with our emotions, which in society eyes makes feminine people “too sensitive” (which is in common beliefs a sign of weakness 😡).

Traditional Gender Stereotypes

It is getting a tad better now, but we still live in a society where our gender at birth determines which of those two traits we should have: if you are born as a female you should be feminine, and if you are born as a male you should be masculine, period.

This, combine with the description of those traits above, created stereotypes such as boys should always be strong, brave, and should show no signs of weakness. While girls should always take care of others first, and are expected to be fragile creatures who need protection.

But masculinity and femininity have nothing to do with genders as we ALL have both within us. It is a question of balance, like the yin and yang, salt and pepper, wine and cheese… The two go hand in hand!

Even though there is usually a dominant one, embracing both femininity and masculinity is absolutely possible. THERE ARE NO RULES! You can even switch which one is on top depending of a situation, your mood, people you are with…

Nasty Clichés Around Femininity

If you have been following us for a while, you know that we love to destroy common false beliefs. So today we want to demystify some clichés around femininity. Why? Because clichés stop people from personal growth. Following false common beliefs is the best way to stay stagnant in life, but since you are reading this, it is probably because you want to thrive instead right? 💪

Here are some of those nasty clichés (we had to make a Tiktok out of it!):

If you cannot watch it, here are the most common ones:

• You have to be girly to be feminine. FALSE!

  Femininity is an attitude, not a look.

• Being feminine = being weak. FALSE!

  You can be feminine and move freaking mountains.

• You cannot be feminine and masculine. FALSE!

  We all have a masculine and feminine side, we are just not used to show both.

• If you are feminine, you won't be taken seriously. FALSE!

  Being feminine doesn't undermine your skills.

Femininity is a way of being, you decide how to implement it in your life. And it is the same for masculinity.

To conclude: as usual you do you! Doesn't matter your gender, if you feel like being masculine on Mondays and feminine on Thursdays, then do it. Times are evolving, and we finally have the experience and knowledge to change those beliefs. We might as well start now!

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One step closer to body acceptance

Raise your hand if you see your body as a blob.

Raise your hand if you are having a hard time to find more than 3 nice things to say about your body.

Raise your hand if looking at yourself in the mirror is hard…

Now step up if you want to change that!

Well my friend if you are reading this, it means you already made the most difficult part of your body-acceptance journey: being ready to finally love yourself fully. Give yourself a nice pat on the back!

Let's start with the basics

It is primordial for your well-being to learn to accept yourself fully, which means not only in a mindset way, but your body as well. We know it is tough to do, but trust us when we say it is needed.

First you need to understand that your body is a vessel that protects all of your organs, muscles, nerves… Without it, we would not Be. Be grateful for that, and for all the amazing other things it does for you: such as keeping you strong, making you able to experience life…

When you are able to see your body as an ally instead of your enemy, you are able to give it more love. And that is the second step.

Befriend your body

We have heard so many people talking sh*t about their body:

“I disgust myself."

“I am ugly.”

“I wish I could be thinner, curvier, have more boobs, less belly,…”

The list goes on. And it breaks our hearts every time we hear those sentences. Would you tell all those awful things to the people you love? Of course not, so why do you say it to yourself!

Break the clichés

Accepting your body the way it is does not mean loving your body 24/7. Nobody can. Do you know why? Because the way we see our body is mental. So if you are having a bad day, or you are in a bad mood, this will impact the vision you have of your body, at that moment. It comes in waves.

It is actually even harder as females, because we work in cycle, meaning our hormones affects our mental a lot. We can a be roller coasters of emotions.

via GIPHY

Even the most confident person in the world will have moment when they don't have a good body image, and that's ok. So give yourself a damn break!

You deserve to see how beautiful you are

And unleashed that sexy beast within you. We know you want it ;)

Accepting our body for what it is is difficult because we have been conditioned to believe that beauty standards imposed by the media are the norms to follow. It is not!

It is time to ditch the numbers, and other ridiculous standards.

Your weight, the size of your breast, your cellulite, your abs, all of those don't define if you are beautiful or not. Beauty is so much deeper than our physical appearance and it starts with the way we see ourselves.

Body acceptance is understanding that you don’t need to change anything in order to be beautiful. It is about finding beauty even in the parts of your body you like the less.

We've been down that road and we know it is not an easy journey. That is why we decided to create an online workshop to help you get there faster.

Join us on August 7th and 8th for our online workshop and be ready to finally embrace your body, reclaim your femininity, and tap into your sensuality. Grab your Early Bird ticket and get an extra 20% off with the code "SCANDALEUSE20” ⬇️

You deserve to love your body (again)

We all have body insecurities. Yes, even that person in the corner that you think is perfect, they very likely doesn't like something about their body. Those can become bigger and bigger everyday and can really impact your life on a daily basis. But it doesn’t have to be. If there is one person can hit the brakes on those, it is you.

In order to develop body-acceptance and give yourself a break, there are a few things to consider and myths to debunk:

No, You don’t have to “LOVE” your body all the time (and it’s really hard to anyway)

With movements like body-positivity being spread around and sometime, used as a marketing tool, it is very easy to believe that if you don’t love your body every single day, then you’re “failing” at it. To be honest, we believe that it is impossible to love your body constantly, because we, as human and especially as women, are not feeling the same constantly.

We work in cycles, are guided by hormones & emotions and Those fluctuate on the daily, as they should. So you’re gonna have good days, and not-so-good days, and it is absolutely normal.

Instead of beating yourself up, spiralling and thinking that you’re just an ugly duckling during the not-so-good days, aknowledge them, remind yourself they will pass, try to stick to a healthy routine and give yourself a break.

Your body changes all the time.

On top of having our moods changing from one day to the other, our bodies can change on an hourly basis. Take our tummies for example, usually a soft spot for many people: you can wake up with a fairly flat belly and boom, 2 hours later, it’s doing its things and you’re bloated. Your body is always working and we need to stop being hard on it for doing so.

Instead of focusing on just the way your body looks, focus on nourishing it and giving it what it needs. By just doing that, you will slowly start to appreciate it more and more, and your vision will change on the positive.

Enjoy those pleasantly surprised looks in the mirror you will experience soon enough! 😉

You don’t have imperfections, you have a map of memories.

When you really think about it, isn’t your body a keepsake of everything you have been in life?

Scars, stretch marks, and other various changes, they are here to witness what you have been through.

• Stretchmarks prove the ability your body has to adapt to a new you.

• Scars are here to remind you that you can heal. You’ve done it before, you will do it again.

• Wrinkles are a testimonial to how much you've laughed, cried, smiled. How much you’ve been LI-VING. This should be celebrated, not criticized and shamed.

Work on detaching from the media’s beauty standards.

One of the best ways to start appreciating your body is to listen to what YOU want to do and not what society says you SHOULD do. Wear whatever you want, change your hairstyle, get tattoos, get physically stronger, shave, not shave, put makeup on and so on. If you feel like walking around naked for the hell of it, then so be it.

Decisions about your body and appearance are yours and only yours to make. Re-read that, write it down, staple it somewhere!

You will be much happier the minute you start making decisions about yourself for yourself. So go, dye your hair blue, wear that dress you love, stop shaving your armpits if it makes YOU happy.

By the way, A boudoir shoot is a great way to say “screw it, my body is pretty awesome”. 😉

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How to contact a boudoir photographer when you are a man

While boudoir photography attracts mostly women, men are not out of the picture (pun intended)! Boudoir has in fact many benefits for the gentlemen, especially when it comes to body-image.

Let's cut through the chase: we are two women, we have been open since 2015 and have always welcome men. However, many inquiries were not done as well as they should have been and we have to be careful. So we are going to be straight-forward and let you in on some tips to make your experience happen!

If you are a gentleman who is serious about doing a shoot but feels a bit uncomfortable to ask, this is for you!

1) If you find us online, go through our website.

It could sound simple, but many people don’t peruse the website before hitting “contact us”. We state very clearly our values, vision, and session information on our male boudoir page and our FAQ.

Make sure you review it before reaching out, we may not match what you are looking for.

2) Introduce yourself.

Another simple advice, yet it makes a huge difference. Some people don’t even say their names upon emailing. It can be considered a red flag on our end, so please spend the extra couple of minutes to tell us who you are, just like you would if you were meeting someone in person.

3) Be honest.

This is actually the main issue we have when we get inquiries from men: they aren't telling us what they are looking for. It is a-okay if you are looking for erotic, while we don't offer it, we are not here to judge and we are actually looking for a trustworthy colleague to refer you to!

In order to avoid many email back and forths and waste your time, please tell us straight up what you are looking for. 😉

4) Our inquiry system is by email first, Zoom meeting second.

Every new inquiry takes place by email. In our first response, you will receive all of the information you need as well as a request form for an Zoom meeting. We’re gonna be honest, some inquiries started well, then the potential client tried to dodge a simple online meeting. This is a huge red flag for us.

We always meet all of our potential clients online before booking anything, no exception.

5) If the style you want is not ours, don't insist or try to disguise it into something else.

(We mentioned this was going to be a no B-S post!)
Here is a classic scenario we face multiple time: man emails with a vague inquiry, we ask for details, we finally get that he is looking for erotic, we say we don't offer it, he tries to tone it down hoping it would fly. Spoiler alert: it won’t and now everyone is uncomfortable.

Once again, it is okay to want something different. If we don't offer it, it doesn’t mean it is bad or shameful, it just means it is not our jam.

We hope those pointers were helpful if you are considering to contact us for a session. We would be more than happy to make your vision come to life and have you join our team of male Scandals! Feel free to contact us if you have any questions!

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Your closet is full of boudoir treasures.

One of the common misconceptions about boudoir photography is the fact that you have to wear the classic lingerie set during your shoot. FALSE!

Well, if it is what you really want to wear of course you can. There are gorgeous set of lingerie that are perfect for boudoir. But you can also wear so many other pieces! Anything can be turned into a boudoir outfit, all you have to do is to show some skin. You can be creative, mix and match different pieces, wear clothes you bought once but never wear because they are too “extravagant”, too colourful, or too sexy.

You don't have to play by the rules

It is very common to focus on your femininity if you identify as a women, or focus on your masculinity if you identify as a men, which is totally fine if it is what you prefer. But those are not rules set in stones. Unfortunately, there are a lot of stigma around femininity and masculinity, so often people don't dare to explore this hidden side of their personality. Whatever you identify as, don't be afraid to play with both of your masculine and feminine side.

If you are a men, you could for example wear a dark colour robe with heels. Or maybe wear some makeup, such as eye shadow. For women, you could try wearing a leather jacket, your hair up, and take a masculine attitude.

There are plenty of creative ways to embrace both side, without choosing to be cliché about them. See photography as a game, an experience you will try only a few times in your life, so you might as well have fun. The pictures are for you, at the end of the day you treat yourself the way you want.

You don't have to choose only one persona

Contrary to popular belief, we all have different personalities coming out depending of our mood, life events, weather,… So why would you stick to only one persona during your shoot?

You don't have to choose between being cute, badass, or sexy, be all of them! It is the same idea style-wise. During your shoot you can absolutely go from a cosy vibe, to a sultry and mysterious one. And maybe finish your session with some artistic nudes. If you do a shoot with us, we will tell you to bring a big suitcase with you, full of different pieces :)

Rock your wardrobe

Here are a few examples of what to bring. You will see that most of the items listed below are pieces you can easily find in your closet:

Bodysuits:

Those are our favourite pieces. Why? Because they look fabulous on every type of bodies, and you can find in so many different cuts and styles. On top of that, if you feel a tad uncomfortable with your belly, it will help to show it without uncover it completely.

Jackets & coats:

Those are great pieces to rock different styles (femme fatale, rock,…). We usually suggest to go topless with them, or depending of the length of the coat, to go fully naked. It is perfect to create some sexiness without showing to much.

High panties:

You can combine a high waisted panty, with pantyhose, and a bra or sweater, to a create a “flash dance” outfit. Or even the high panty, with a blazer and some pearls, for a totally different style.

Dresses:

Dresses are really pretty in boudoir, especially if they are see-through to play with your silhouette, and flowy to add some movement. Not sensual enough? Grab the bottom of your dress to show some thighs, or put one of the straps down to be more playful…

Jeans & pants:

Those are always a must, especially for men. Wearing a jean or pants, and being topless is such a great look for everyone.

And so much more…

Everything in your closet can be used for boudoir: faux fur shawl or jacket, blouses, shorts, corsets, skirts,… It is not about the cloth itself, it is about how you use it, and with what other pieces you combine it.

Don't forget the accessories as well: heels, jewelry and props, are a great addition to your outfits. We had Scandals bringing their most colourful necklaces, highest pleasers, bottle of whisky or wine, cheese platters, fruits, their pets (how badass it is to have your dog posing next to you for a shot?), and other amazing accessories.

Doing a boudoir shoot is the opportunity to take time for yourself, have fun, and let your amazing, badass, and sensual-self out. It is by letting go (of pressure, expectations, and judgment) that you will be able to relax, do all the things you wanna do, and live life by your own rules 💪

Check out some outfits ideas below:

Street harassment, a sad reality

You guys probably read or heard about the recent cases of street harassment happening to women in Toronto.

To sum it up: Some women have been followed by black SUV while they were walking alone downtown Toronto. The drivers ask them questions about directions, getting pushy if they don't reply and in some cases, other men came out of nowhere behind the potential victims.

Street harassment is a reality.

As scary as it is, unfortunately it happens all over the world, some countries being worse than others. Toronto might feel unsafe right now but for Juliette and I, it is so far the safest city we have lived in with London (England). France, on an another hand, is another story!

The goal here is not to scare you, neither to be defeatist, like: “well this is life, nothing we can do about it!”. We just want to tell you that all of us have to be aware of those situations, even if we have never experienced them. Knowing what to expect and potential dangers is important to be able to confront them.

We both unfortunately experienced those behaviours: being followed by men walking in the street or driving their car. Being catcalled, from whistles to insults such as:

“Hey f**king b**ch!”,

“You know I can r*pe you if I want!”,

“Come see me, I will put it deep!”,

“You have beautiful legs, at what time do they open?”…

But also been touched inappropriately (for Juliette) and been beaten up (for me).

And we are not the only ones! Ask any french women if they ever faced any danger in France due to men's behaviour, the answer will be yes and many times…

What we learn from a young age.

Street harassment is so common in France that most of the time you can forget about getting help from strangers as people don't even pay intention to those behaviours anymore. It has become so common that there are many rules we are taught from a very young age to avoid as much as possible any trouble. And we wanna share those rules and advice with you, which can be real life savers:

• Never stay too long at the same spot:

  If potential attackers see you are alone and waiting for someone, they will try to talk to you. Changing spots will make it more difficult for them and you can easily see if someone is following you.

• Show confidence:

  Chin up and look straight! Why do french women have resting b**ch face? To show no mercy to potential attackers. Those men are looking for easy victims, you have less risk to get in trouble if you give the impression you will fight back.

• Be aware of your environment:

  Walk like you know where you are going and always keep an eye on people (without staring). If they see you walking fast with purpose, you become a difficult target for them. Be also careful when you are listening to music. Always try to keep hearing what's going on around you.

• Walk on the sidewalk where you can see cars coming:

  Walking on the opposite side of driving cars is a great way to avoid being followed by one and it makes it easier to keep an eye on what can be potentially coming for you.

• Don't take risks:

  Don't make the decision at night to chose a risky itinerary because it saves you time to go home or because it looks pretty. It is not worth your safety! So when it is dark outside, avoid empty streets as well as parks. You wanna stay close to people, in bright and busy locations.

• Don't hesitate to ask for help:

  Talk loudly, scream, grab someone in the street or find shelter in places of business. It is better to alarm people for nothing and feel stupid about it, rather than keeping it quiet and really get in trouble. They will stay with you until someone you know come to help you.

• Listen to your guts:

  We don't say it enough: TRUST YOUR INSTINCT! If you feel in danger, it is probably for a good reason. Don't think twice, without showing fear remove yourself from the situation as soon as you can.

• In case you are in trouble: act batshit crazy.

  Those kind of men don't want to attract attention, so give it your best performance. Scream, make weird animal noises if you have to, catch them off guard and flee.

What can you do if you witness those behaviours?

Most of the time, people pretend they do not see anything when someone is in trouble is because they don't know what to do or they care about their own safety. But there are so many things you can do depending of the situation, you just have to educate yourself and get creative. Sometimes the simplest actions works. Check out Loréal's video for a few examples:

Those situations should not happen, but they unfortunately do. So if you witness someone being harassed or worse, please don't hesitate to help. You don't have to do it alone, you can gather people around you to help as well.

WE HAVE TO STICK TOGETHER TO HELP PEOPLE IN NEED!

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I turned 30

Hey Scandals, Fanny writing today!

I want to share with you my experience on turning 30. I feel like there are a lot of expectations coming from others but also from our own beliefs about starting a new decade. Generally speaking we believe that by 30 we should have our life together: be a home owner, married with kids and a carrier. So we put a lot of pressure on our shoulders thinking with HAVE to fit in this mold.

My friends, this is not the reality anymore (was it ever?) ! So let's dust off all of those expectations that, frankly, are just here to create more stress and anxiety. We don't want that in our life, do we?

Last January I turned 30 and honestly I was fine (end of the article, thanks for reading).

More seriously! I am the type of person who is not afraid to get old and die, so age was never really a struggle for me. But apparently it is a harder topic for others…

You see, people expect you to feel bad about turning 30, especially if you are:

• a woman;

• who is single;

• with no kids.

Like me! So around my birthday, I have heard them all:

“You must be so sad to turn 30?”

“Still no kids hein!”

“Are you single by choice?"

“When are we seeing a ring on your finger?”

“You are not 25 anymore, time to get settled!”… Blablabla.

For those who know me, you will not be surprised to hear that instead of feeling angry, I tried to educate those people but man it asks for a lot of patience!

It is really easy for people to guilt trip others, especially if they believe they know better. It is usually done in a “I am joking” way but the result is the same: we feel bad about our life choices and start doubting ourself.

The way I see it is we have 3 options here:

• we give up and make choices towards a life than is not ideal for us;

• we feel angry at them, carrying negativity and frustration around. The chances are we are gonna explode at some point and start useless confrontations.

• or, we ignore them and keep focusing on how we want to live our life (I vote for this one!)

Personally I believe some people are not worth my energy. I am happy with my lifestyle and would not trade it with anybody else. It makes me feel free and I know I am going towards the right path, meaning the one towards what I want to achieve.

Don't be afraid to dig into what you truly want and take actions to make them happen.

If your loved ones don't understand and disagree, then this is not your problem. In the end, it does not really matter what they think, they are not you. The best fight you can start is towards the life you wanna build for yourself.

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We can never be too careful: Boudoir Photography

Phase two of the quarantine is almost here which means you will finally be able to do that boudoir shoot you have been dreaming of those past months! The first step is choosing the perfect photographer based on your vision and that process can be bit overwhelming, especially if it is your first time. But this step is really important because you want your shoot to reflect your personality and most importantly, YOU WANNA MAKE SURE YOU WILL BE SAFE!

Boudoir photography is a beautiful experience and an incredible tool to fully reconnect with yourself and get intimate photographs of your badass-self. But since boudoir empowers sensuality, it sadly has the tendency to attract malicious people who use it as an excuse to assault women.

It is sad that we have to take so many precautions but this is the kind of world we live in. This is why it is important to be extra careful when you book your session and we will tell you everything you need to know so it never happens to you!

You have less risks with female photographers.

I am sorry gentlemen I am not saying you are all the same, I know a lot of male photographers are very respectful to women. The goal of this post is not to put every men in the same basket, I just want women to feel comfortable when they're about to stand in lingerie or naked in front of photographers.

I have been working in the photography industry for 10 years and I have never heard stories of women assaulting their clients. Unfortunately, it seems to happen with some men and I am not only talking about the relationship between male photographers and women clients as it also happens between male clients and female photographers: 9 times out of 10, when we get an inquiry from a man, they turned out sketchy. For example, some have asked us to dress up sexy so they can feel turned on during the shoot. We have never gotten any bad emails from women.

Professionals are a go-to

We didn't spend years to learn our craft just to have a piece of paper to look pretty on a wall. Photography is a real career and doesn't only require to press the trigger.

So please, I am begging you, hire professional photographers who have a proper website, social media and reviews. Stop going on Kijiji or Craiglist to find the person who will take intimate pictures of yourself in his basement. This is how problems start most of the time!

Safety first

It is really easy with the internet to pretend to be someone else. As mentioned above, some men uses "boudoir" photography to get closer to women and get them to pose them naked in very sexualized poses. Sometimes, it doesn't go any further that just bad taste, but in other cases, nightmares have happened with women getting assaulted.

This is why it is important to meet your photographer face to face in a public place, a proper photography studio or at least on skype (actually this rule should apply in our every day life, we can never be too careful!).

We personally always, always, always meet our potential clients before starting anything. We have refunded a deposit because we did not feel safe. Plus it is pretty nice to talk about your photo shoot around a cup of coffee and pastry, isn't it?!

Also, know that you should be allowed to bring someone with you. If the photographer says no, leave, it's a red flag.

Last but not least: we know pricing is a big factor when choosing your photographer and it is why some women go for cheap photography services without thinking of the risks behind. Don't you think it will be better to postpone the shoot to save up what you need and get breathtaking photographs of yourself and a proper boudoir experience?

Do your own research

The good thing with internet is you can track people to see if they are serious and professional.

• Read the reviews people leave on google, forum and other websites. It will give you a good overview of the person and the company.

• Don't hesitate to ask questions to your photographer and tell her/him if you feel anxious. Your photographer should care about your feelings and do his/her best to reassure you. If the photographer doesn't really reply to your questions, keep them unclear or doesn't explain to you how the session will go, then go with someone else.

Trust your instinct

Either you go with a female or male photographer, there is one think you should always do: FOLLOW YOUR GUT!! 

The human body is very powerful for this and we are most of the time able to feel when something or someone is wrong.

If you have a bad feeling about the person who is going to do your photo shoot, don't go through with it.

The recap:

• Avoid Kijiji or Craiglist.
• Always meet with your photographer(s)
• Check the company's reputation with reviews or referrals.
• Have a contract signed and the details of the session laid out before the day of. Everything has to be crystal clear.
• Bring someone with you or let someone know where you will be and when you'll be done.

Stay awesome but more importantly: stay safe.

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Don't be afraid to embrace your sensuality

For hundreds of years, sensuality has been related to sexuality. And even if both can be connected (when you learn to develop your sensuality, you learn to appreciate your body the way it is, which opens up your sexuality), sensuality can have a much bigger impact than leading to sex:

It helps feeling liberated!

What is sensuality?

If you Google it, you will read the common definition of sensuality is:

The enjoyment, expression, or pursuit of physical, especially sexual, pleasure.

But sensuality is also defined as the ability to feel in touch with all our senses: touch, smell, sight, hearing, taste and any extrasensory perceptions beyond our five commonly recognized senses.

If sensuality is often interpreted as sexuality, it is because of that one thing they have in common. PLEASURE. What can be more difficult to understand is this notion of pleasure: some things can give you sexual pleasure and others can be pleasurable without sexual desire.

Sensuality can increase your sexual behaviour but can also be about enjoying simple pleasures, such as watching a sunset, flavourful food, a massage, a perfume or any particular smell, a yoga pose, feeling the sun on your skin… Anything that makes you feel amazing in the moment but isn't related to sex.

Why is it important to embrace it?

As women we heard it all:

“Be polite. Dress up properly. Be a good girl!" they say.

Most of us have been told to never be too loud because people will think we are hysterical. We have been told to not take too much room otherwise we are just showing off. Neither to show too much skin because we are whores if we do. So we cover ourselves up, forget how to be in touch with our femininity and let our true essence disappears. And for what? Well just to please others and fit in a mold.

Not loving our whole-self enough leads to frustration, jealousy and sadness. How can we expect to be happy and live the life we want, when we are filled with all those negative feelings?

Well, learning to grow that sensual side we all have is a way to start feeling in harmony with our body, which increases our self-confidence and trust in others. And since sensuality is connected to all of our senses, it also develops our creativity, imagination and intuition (I'll take two of those please… how can you say no to that!).

How can you develop your sensuality?

When at peace with our whole-self, we are less likely to feel stressed in our every day life. We also don't feel the need of external validation: what people can think of us does not matter anymore. It creates a new level of self-love!

So, are you tempted to start caring about your sensuality? Or to develop it even more than you already do? Well, we do… Just writing this blog post makes us curious about what is next on our sensuality list!

So far, here is what we do to cultivate sensuality:

• Boudoir photography:

  Surprise! We might be biased but this his a huge part of our life, so we cannot talk about sensuality without mentioning the art of boudoir. Come on, can you think of a more powerful tool to develop your sensuality than boudoir photography: having (pardon our french) the balls to pose half naked -or naked- and still feel badass and empowered… ? That's what we think :)

• Pole Dance & Aerial Silk:

  You maybe saw us online or heard us talk about those two acrobatic activities. They are tough to do and painful but man, it's worth it! They are both incredible for flexibility, strength and core. We train with music, create our own choreography to work on our sensuality and sexiness.

• Stretching:

  Anything that is related to movement has a positive impact on sensuality. Gifting your body with more flexibility is very important for our physical and mental health. It keeps the muscles flexible, strong, and healthy, and we need that flexibility to maintain a range of motion in the joints and keep our body moving. We don’t know for you guys but we wanna become sexy and healthy grandmas!

• Food:

  Big foodies here! We are both from France, so let us tell you that you how much food means to us. France has a fabulous culinary reputation and it is for a reason: french cuisine is all about flavors, forget about salt and sugar, we are talking about explosion of aromas. We learnt to educate our palate, so when we try exquisite food, it can feel like non-sexual orgasms.
  

• Makeup (Juliette writing):

  I associate sensuality with femininity and confidence. Makeup has always been a great tool for that in my opinion. I have fun with it by creating different looks depending on how I feel. It makes me feel confident, stylish, like I have my life in order.

• Twerk (Fanny here):

  Twerking was my most recent sensual discovery. I always wanted to learn this dance, mostly to have fun but also because I like testing things that are not well accepted in our society, things that can seem provocative. I took one class and I was on my butt -french expression to say it blew my mind- :). I would have never expected to fall in love with it. You put all your energy and movement around your hips which makes you feel so powerful and sexy.

Now you just have to go for it!

“I never thought that sex was wrong, sinful, dirty. When you take away the thought of things being dirty or forbidden, then you can really enjoy your sensuality.” Gioconda Belli

We see sensuality as a way to experience a deep peace with ourselves, to feel alive and fulfill. So if you embrace it, it makes you feel like you can do anything.

The world become your oyster.

And guess what?! When you feel like you can do anything, you actually start doing stuff that make you happy and 100% yourself. It is like a magical kick in the bum!

You know what, let's make it a little challenge: find a new way to bring your sensuality to the next level, before the end of the month.

It does not matter the activity you are using to grow that sensual side of yours (sexuality, dance, food, …), the most important thing is to do it for YOU.

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5 things you DON'T have to do once the quarantine is over

After spending an average of 2 months at home while the world is finding a new balance, our everyday life is slowly gonna merge into a new normal.

This unusual experience has been the best opportunity to reflect on what you have, what you want, and who you do things for. You don't have to stop this journey now to jump back into what you used to do.

A new routine is on the verge of emerging and with it comes a new opportunity: making it yours.

Here are 7 things you do NOT have to do once the quarantine is fully over:

1) Go on a diet

If you didn't jump on the train of “LET'S WORK OUT EVERYDAY NOW THAT WE HAVE TIME WOOHOOO” and feel like you got a little cushy: so be it. Don’t beat yourself up, don't put pressure on yourself to lose weight and get fit now that you have to go back to the real world. Everything will rebalance itself with time and that's A-OKAY.

2) Wear uncomfortable clothing (and bras)

We see people joking about having to put jeans back on. What if you didn't? We live in a great era when you can find professional looking clothing that is still comfortable, take advantage of it! And ladies, if your bras are uncomfortable as hell and you ditched them during your time at home: leave them in the drawer. Keep your no-bra habit or replace them with comfortable bralettes. It's about damn time the world stops getting shocked by a slightly showing nipples.

3) Planning on staying at the job you don’t like.

Sometimes, you are so caught-up in your routine that you don’t stop and think if this is really for you. You go to your job because you have to, not because you want to. You ignore your inner voice to get the hell out. But with the quarantine, you ended up with a much bigger amount of time to think. If the thought of going back to work makes you feel sick, it is time to plan your exit strategy and act on it.

4) Buying excessively

Stores were closed, toilet paper was missing for a while, we had to focus on what was essential in our lives. Maybe you even Marie Kondo-d the crap out of your home. Don’t jump back on the intense shopping spree to buy things you don't need. You will help yourself by keeping your space and mind clear and help our planet by decreasing waste at the same time.

5) Wear makeup, Wax, Microblade, do your Nails, get Extensions of anything

Ask yourself: who were you doing all these things for? If the answer is because it makes you feel good: knock yourself out. But if you were dreading those times to begin with only to follow some outside expectations: just stop. You don't have to prove anything to anyone. You just have to do good by YOU.

On the contrary, here are some things you should do once you are back out there:

1) Implement those great self-care habits you put in place

You started yoga everyday and it makes you feel so good? Make time for it in your schedule. You found yourself a new passion for baking or cooking? Fit it in there too. Those are happy habits and they need to stay for your own wellbeing.

2) Make time to connect with your loved ones

Did you take your family and close friends for granted while living your busy life? (don't feel bad, we all do at some point in our lives) Well, everyone was pretty much away from everyone during the lockdown. Time to give some lovin' to the relationships you care about.

3) don't beat yourself up if you got caught up again in the life tornado.

If you find yourself thinking “I don't have time for that anymore/ what if I can’t make time for this?/I messed up.” take a deeeeeep breath and re-center. You don’t have to have a perfect record. Just develop your ability to take a step back and re-adjust your life.

You have spent so much time with yourself, your desires and wishes, it's not to forget it once we all go back to “normal". Treat yourself and others with kindness, focus on what you want for YOU. And if you need a little help, our Limitless Program is right here for you.

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Boredom is a state of mind

We are in a stage of the quarantine that is getting harder and harder on people's spirit. I see that through social media and the conversations I have with friends and family: it is pretty easy to feel trapped and see our home as a cage. Most of us are bored and staying home is getting on our nerves.

Can you guess what happens when we feel this way?

We leash out, get easily angry (and hungry but that is another story!) and are in search for drama. We look for people to put the blame on and we let our frustration and anger control our behaviour. We focus on how the situation is affecting us and forget that we all are in this together. This is how most of the little “online wars” are created, sometimes with the worst intention, sometimes just to make people laugh:

• Pressure is put on people when saying we have to take this quarantine as an opportunity to learn something new.

• Jokes on getting fat from staying home are created without thinking it can hurt people who might be in this situation.

• Critics are done on women who decide to show their body on social media, because this is their way to feel better about themselves (actually, my bad, this happens all the time!).

We are in a fragile and unstable time, we can easily go from fighting this all together as a community, to becoming selfish and creating a civil war.

So what if, instead of letting our emotions control our actions, we focus on passing time in an healthier way?

But I'm so bored!

Hey pssst, come closer, we have a secret to share…

Boredom is a state of mind.

It is difficult to believe there is nothing for us to learn, create or share. Let's be honest here, most of us can easily find some suff to do! We are lucky to live in an era where technology is 100% part of our life, so unless you don't have access to internet, many activities are accessible online. If internet, for X reasons, isn't an option for you, there are still books you can read, creative activities you can start and games you can play (remember when we were kids and used to have fun with almost everything?).

By the way, sometimes it feels good to not do anything. If you just feel like sitting on a chair and contemplate life through your window with a cup of hot coffee or a glass of wine, then you should do it. Never blame yourself and feel guilty for doing something simple. As long as it makes you happy (and you are not hurting anyone) this is the most important!

The problem isn't related to inaccessible activities, it is just a lack of motivation!

Mindset, one more time, is the key.

If nothing around you motivates you, it's probably because there is something going on with your emotions: maybe you feel lonely, maybe you are frustrated or sad... It might be a good idea then to dig deeper and figure out why you feel the way you feel at that moment.

It is normal and totally ok to not feel awesome 100% of the time. Negative feelings are actually a way to realign with ourselves to get closer to the person we wanna be. They are here to tell us that something in our life isn't right for us and needs to be improved. But it is also important to not let those feelings completely absorb our light and positivity, neither to let them drag us down. This why it is essential to understand where they come from, so we can “fix” the problem and bring back happiness. The goal is simply to feel better.

We assure you that if you feel happy, you will find something YOU WANT TO DO!

Don't forget to have fun!

Movement is a great way to help being motivated… So we have one word for you: MUSIC. Yeah you got it right, put some tunes on and dance! Music is an universal language, everybody react to it. Even some animals have the ability to understand and move on the waves when certain types of melody are played. There is a great show on Netflix called “Explained”, one episode talks about that and it's super interesting!

Alright! Now that the motivation is back, here is a list of different activities you can do at home:

• Build a card castle or a fort… Or a fort made out of cards!

• Parkour! with your furniture (don't get too crazy there though, you don't wanna end up at the hospital).

• Try the OH NA NA NA challenge if you don't live alone.

• Redecorate your home.

• Practice handstands.

• Organize a short balcony party with your neighbours like those crazy Italian people (those guys are awesome!).

• Grow new veggies from veggies you bought at the supermarket.

• And of course the classics such as cooking, reading, learning, working out, meditate or watching everything Netflix has to offer.

You will always find something to do that makes you happy as long as you feel at peace with yourself.

Be patient, we will all go through this experience even stronger than we were before. But we have to stick together and be more mindful of others. If this situation is too hard on your mental, don't hesitate to talk and share how you feel with people who love you.

You are not alone!

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Don't get stuck in your routine

Let me tell you a little story Scandals…

This year I wanted to improve my sensuality and build up my energy level by adding more movement into my workout. So I decided to try something that makes me really uncomfortable: DANCING. I am not talking about going to a club with my friends or dancing in front of strangers (I am always happy to dance in a silly way in front of people). I am talking about signing up for dance classes, where you have to learn a choreography. I am one of those people who sucks at dancing: no coordination whatsoever in my steps and always starting with the wrong foot. It makes me feel so self-conscious and ridiculous, get easily frustrated and usually end up by giving up after the first class. But not this time. I am stepping out of my comfort zone even tho it does not feel good yet!

Now, you might be thinking: “Why someone would push her/himself to do something that makes them feel really uncomfortable?” Well, let's see…

What is a comfort zone and why is it difficult to get out of it?

It is simply a behavioral state in which things feel familiar to a person, where their activities, habits and actions fit a routine and pattern that minimize stress and risk. They are at ease and in control of their environment. It provides them a state of mental security they benefit in certain ways: regular happiness, low anxiety, and reduced stress.

Because of bad experiences from our past or external influences (such as medias or loved ones), our mind is conditioned to be afraid of the unknown. The fear that is created from our lack of experience in certain field of life acts as a stop sign, a wall we put between us and our goals. We put ourselves in a protective mode and even tho our comfort zone feels like a little heaven for a short period of time, it can become a trap on the long run.

Why is it important to check your routine off?

Not a lot of people like to take risks or be uncomfortable. Instead we have the tendency to stay in our warm and safe bubble, away from all of the possibilities the world has to offer. We get stuck in a routine without realizing it is slowing us down from improving ourselves and moving forward in life.

Of course, we are not telling you to completely change your life or to take stupid risks. But it is important, from time to time, to get out of your comfort zone and experience life in a different way. It will creates enough positive stress to increase your curiosity and drive, will help you to respond positively to stress when unexpected events happen.

How to get out your comfort zone?

• SWITCH UP YOUR ROUTINE.

There is no reason to put too much pressure on yourself and take the risk to feel overwhelmed. Start with simple steps like: trying a new coffee shop, walking a new road to work, waking up earlier everyday… Those simple actions are the best way to slowly help you and motivate you to put one foot out of your comfort zone.

• GIVE UP CONTROL.

Let go of your insecurities by learning to trust people around you. Agree to things you wouldn’t normally consider and open your mind: we think we know better but it is just a question of perspectives.

• TRY SOMETHING NEW UNTIL YOU FEEL COMFORTABLE.

Start conversations with strangers, give compliments, learn a new skill… Most of the thing that makes us feel uncomfortable are usually the ones we are not really good at it, so whatever you choose, do not give up. Practice makes it perfect!

• MOVE TOWARD YOUR FEARS.

That is the toughest but most efficient one because it pushes you to work deeper on yourself. The feeling of fear is vital in some circumstances for our survival but it can also be irrational. When you feel afraid of something, it is usually a sign you have to fight it in order to expand your life and not miss any opportunity. Start by understanding the root of your fear than you will be able to confront it.

What do you do to get out of your comfort zone?

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How shifting your mindset can change your life

We are strong believers that a positive mindset is the key to happiness, whatever that word means to you. You might not realize it but the way you think impact any decisions you make in your life. Our fears, hopes, beliefs, any emotions we feel, positive or negative, change drastically our perspectives.

It is in the human nature to look for happiness, but we often don’t know how to reach it. This results in feeling lost or stuck in our own life. But what if we were telling you that any of us can live a successful and fulfilled life?

Would you believe us if we were to tell you that you are the only one who can decide to be happy?

Get it right from the get-go

We are not saying it is an easy process, no one have their sh*t together and we are all faking it until we make it. But all you need are the good tools and practice.

• Have goals, big or small.

Having concrete goals will give you the motivation to move forward in your future, and make you feel excited about taking decisions while pushing you to adapt your routine.

Once you've lined up these ideas, you need to learn to identify non-toxic from toxic goals. How? Ask yourself "why" you are aiming for that specific goal. Is it for yourself? Others? Is it too intense? Unachievable ? Is it compromising your health? Always remember to be your own measurement system instead of comparing yourself to others.

• Implement positive thinking and statements:

Every time you catch yourself having a negative thought, acknowledge them by asking yourself WHY you are having negative thoughts and WHERE do they come from. Then, as trivial as it may sound, smile and twist it positively instead of making yourself feel worse:

"I am stupid… NO: I am smart!”

“I hate my acne… NO: I am beautiful!"

“I cannot do it… NO: I have been through worse than that, I am strong!"

The more you start making these statements, the more you will believe and see them. This is the power of manifestation, if you repeatedly keep saying negative things then those things are what will come to light. It works the same way for positive statements.

Make it a habit while looking at yourself in the mirror (because it feels good to look at yourself right in the eyes):

I radiate beauty.  I radiate power. I radiate prosperity. I radiate love. I radiate light.

I am strong. I am confident. I will be successful.

I am beautiful. I have a great body. I love the way I look.

• Learn to not be afraid to fail:

We all failed when we were kids, from the first step we took to all of the times we fell, it was part of our learning process. So failing as an adult is just as normal.

Failure means you keep learning, experimenting, progressing towards the life you are building, so instead of feeling ashamed we have to embrace it!

Grow, unlock other possibilities and achieve more than you could think!

• Feel inspired not jealous:

Step away from negativity and jealousy by opening your mind, feeding your soul and surrounding yourself with like-minded people and people who are a few steps ahead of you too.

Keep learning, think about your goals, listen to yourself, learn to eliminate what doesn't work for you.

Just remember, you cannot compare yourself to others since you do not have the same life and aspirations.

There will always be parts of yourself that you are working on and you often think that "it will be better over there, and I will only be happy when…” but guess what?! Once you get over there, chances are you will face similar feelings of obstacles. Unless you break the cycle with everything we just told you.

Forgive yourself for making mistakes and take the pressure away by acknowledging that you are doing your best in every moment with the tools you have. That's how You will see a significant impact and change into your life.

Thank you @lianalewis and @edenalexwine for bringing your beautiful minds to this blog.

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